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Cheezburger Network Blog
Uno!
+4
Draw two, bitches.
Aww, man… now i have 30 cards…
Pedwar
paedobear???
O, Cymraeg! Shwmae!
Shwmae, bach!
Sheep-shagger.
Oi that’s racist!
Nerf-herder!
Dos!
Damn, Sarah Palin is stressing me out, I need some cocaine. Do you have any cocaine?
yes but ul need to snort it out of my ass crack
What the fuck
‘llama’ has two L’s.
Name fail.
Do not want
Shi!
that’s 4, dick
No, his name is Dan, not Dick.
it’s also death
Dick or death??
(Wait…I thought it was cake…)
Izzard/ and or Queen. The same really, but I prefer Eddie’s interpretation,
She keeps her Moet and Chandon in a pretty cabinet.
Either way is a win for us dragon XD
Crucifixion or freedom?
Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose.
That sorta depends on how you say it, Fuzz.
The Japanese word for “four” is pronounced the same way as a Japanese word for “death.” And out of superstitious caution, Japanese will sometimes avoid saying “shi”/ “four” for that reason. That is relatively easy for them to do, since Japanese has two different series for the small numbers:
.
ichi, ni, san, shi … or … hito, futa, mitsu, yotsu …
.
“Three persons” is “san-nin,” but, instead of “shi-nin,” “four persons” is “yon-nin.”
.
kthx.arigatogozaimasu!!
TMI Service
What is the right saying for “Cock face butty tits” in Japanese? hehehehe
Next time you get first, could you at least do it a foreign language that we DON’T understand?
English (Britain, Australia, America) No
English (America) [informal] Nope
English (America) [informal] Uh-uh
English [Texan] (Texas United States) Naw
English [Michigan slang] (Michigan USA) Nah
English [Michigan slang] (Michigan USA) No way
English [Middle English] (old Britain) Na
English [old English] (older Britain) Nese
How come I say ‘nah’ and ‘nope’ and ‘no way’ but I’m not American?
I’m clearly the anomaly!
Most people speak in the context to which they are accustomed, but they automatically become an egotistical asshole when America is said context. Amirite?
Yeah, you are right. Most of you-mob folks are correct most of the time. Y’all have a good sense of language. You guys are also pretty knowledgeable of linguistics. Youse guys should maybe come up with a really kick-butt “you” plural form. Unless youse don’t want to, of course.
Fail. ‘You’ is already the plural form. What’s no longer commonly used is the singular ‘thou’.
^nerd^
Thou haven’t been around very much in the past 400 years or so, have thou?
I would love to see you try flexing your power of “thou” in modern discourse, outside of this blog of fail.
Thou failest at conjugation.
mmm. possibly, but I liek to use teh wtf common discosre sthat ppl unnerstant.d geti menoe?
Thou hast not studied the older usage of English hast thee?
lmao you fail because you knew that!
…but America wasn’t the context.
Am I missing the point?
Maybe you’re secretly from Wales…
Well The Anomalies come from just the other side of the Welsh border and Loz says he’s an anomaly…
I do love the Welsh accent…
Prvi!
English translation of Prvi! = First!
What language is that anyways?
You said you didn’t want to understand…
And I don’t understand. I would like to learn what language this is because learning is fucking cool.
Croatian or Serbian, from what I can gather on Google.
Very similar, of course, don’t say that to a serbian or croat, but I’m gonna ask a very awesome croat about this issue soon. Will report back.
Serb*
You got serb’d!
Serbs me right
So, talons = Bosnia?
First!
Fail he does. Stupid link he posts.
Copying Yoda you are. Fail that is.
It’s as if they took Yoda’s lines, translated them into German, than translated them right back into english, those oh-so important verbs at the end of the sentence leaving.
Spelled then it is.
Useless information you give, yes.
Are you trying to make some reference to the fail? :O! We don’t do that on FailBlog!
Do Not Want!
That made the entire 2 1/2 minutes worth it…
Defintely
I totally agree.
Ditto.
Aye
do want.
that sucked big time
Why? I thought it was quite good… not the best… but still 4 star.
Oh, man! That felt awesome! Thanks, video!
What video where you watching?
i laughed way too hard
Engrish ripoff FAIL
It has been going for a little while now.
Still hilarious though.
I kinda believed it until the end, but once it was subbed “Do not want” it was waaaaay to obvious someone did this intentionally. I mean is it just coincidence that a meme slipped into the end at the perfect time? They might as well have had a cut to Weegee being turned into Vader or Pedobear with all the young Padawan kids.
Any idea where that “do not want” meme came from?
It came from THIS horrifically poor film translation. It’s not that the meme was put into the movie… the movie as put into the meme.
I did not know that!
*learns something new*
Well, now you know, and knowing is half the battle!
G.I. Joooooooooe!
And thus a new language is born!
I don’t know, but can make we out?
Get a room.
My room’s available.
Very good, give me surprised and pleased.
I would, but I am not sure you could take that kind of rectal pounding.
Reply target response… FAIL
It may be a fail, but that comment was full of win.
not the one I read
*gives*
Is that enough surprised and pleased for ya?
Maybe if I have a few more drinks.
You have your cause and effect wrong. This is the SOURCE of the “Do Not Want!” meme. See this blog, which was posted three years ago:
http://winterson.com/2005/06/episode-iii-backstroke-of-west.html
Actually, this is not an isolated thing. I’m in Jakarta right now visiting family. I’ve bought ## DVDs to bring home, and several of them have the most rediculour English subtitles (for English speaking DVDs). Death Race is pretty funny. All of them are really, it’s hilarious. This ONE might be fake, but there are more.
i think i read a bootleg of that comment. lol i’m just ribbin ya.
Ribbing???
*masturbates*
Not exactly a ripoff, being that they both belong to ICHC. Lame, tho, posting the same thing twice in sister-sites. Are there not enough fails in this world?
Maybe double posting IS the fail.
LOL!
wow. that is all.
eh, it was alright. lots of them were from the common mistranslation of “doing” as “making out”
DOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
xDDDDD
TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANY LETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUUUUUUUUUUCH IMMMMMMMMMATTTURRRIIIITTTYY.
What do you expect for a child genius, he can’t be clever all the time.
DrDr, do you have a grudge against child geniuses? Or are you being extremely sarcastic?
Depends on how arrogant they are.
Am I arrogant? Please be honest.
“Yes, but do not underestimate my intellect. I may be 14, but my thoughts go much above that age.
So there is no need of dumbing down. Like the BBC.”
RogueThree: “Hey, I’m only seventeen, actually. Strange that Bondfan and I seem to outsmart a lot of the twentysomethings on this site.”
Anyone using their quips, remarks, burns etc as a measurement of intellect in this here failblog, is failing at life. I’ll take my chances at my alma mater, Colombia.
Ivy or coca?
Coca.
Sweet.
You know they fertilize coca plants with guinea pig poop.
♫
Letters!
We get letters!
We get sacks and stacks of letters!
LETTERS!
♫
i dont get one this
you careful, he is a big
Do you have what to want to say?
Sadly, I think I would enjoy this version of Star Wars more than the original.
Big he is, stretched you will be.
The disgusting thing came from behind…
First!
Carefully
DrDr, out of the coma he awoke.
fail
FAKE!!!
No it’s not, look at this blog post from three years ago:
http://winterson.com/2005/06/episode-iii-backstroke-of-west.html
yup…
INCORRECT! We have the DVD…
Are you not sure you made the DVD?
Correction… you have the DVD? WANT!!!
Hay guise, it’s teh @#%@$ cheezburger. Pls to not question the cheezburger. He ar srs moderator and inventor of universe. (not ceiling cat).
*has a heart attack*
Someone from cheezburger typed a comprehensible comment?!
I caught talons on ICHC.
He was using lolspeak. Old post though. But yes, people from ICHC can type comprehensible comments. This is not anything new.
Sadly, I am outted. I did at one point try to speak in Lolspeak, but it dawned on me that I should just give my real cats real life *snorgles* rather than cybering someone else’s cat.
O_o; Cybering another cat. That sounds wrong on so many levels.
That’s because it is.
Why don’t you do us all a favour and piss off back to ICHC then?
I bet they loved you there.
I saw what you did there!
Hey Loz! No!
xD Epic. I love the ‘Do not want’ part.
it;s “backstroke of the west”!! god this is hilarious! GAME TIME STARTED!!!
this was dumb.
I don’t see why they are aggressively whoring out the other websites.
oh, i guess i forgot to say it…10th!
No one (except you) cares which number your post is.
No one (except you) cares about a thing you say.
“do not want” was funny
They can’t be serious…. Someone please verify that this is legit, because I’m still below my quota for the week of shame for my species…
It’s legit. It’s been around the internet for three years.
It’s for real. We have teh DVD…
You can’t get anymore legit than the holiest of holy, the great and all awesome Cheezburger. *bows*
one more time, with feeling
and 5-part harmony
But it’s more than a feeling…
Mm, just how I like my Star Wars, nice and slashy.
Ooo, kinky!
“Your father would have wanted you to have this, when you were old enough.”
Where is RogueThree when you need him??
That sounds pretty entreperneurial.
*grabs ahold*
I should have known that comment was going to be delayed.
…do I want to know what you wrote? lol.
. . . it just seems like it would be so easy to self-fail with a light saber.
I’m trying not to think about that right now.
Well, it got eaten.
*Puts three roguish thoughts back on the shelf — a low shelf*
Hold onto those thoughts…you may need them sooner than you think!
“It’s possible he came in through the south entrance.”
“Pull out, Wedge! You can’t do any more good back there!”
“Now let’s blow this thing and go home.”
By the way, Wedge’s callsign in Empire Strikes Back? Rogue 3. So I think you may have just accused me of sodomy.
Hee hee hee…I knew that! :p
Since “Trampoline Fail” is closed, and you hate me, I’ll just leave this little comment right here:
Sorry, sorry, sorry. It took Admiral’s lovely monologue back at the “trampoline fail” to illustrate the unfortunate fact-oid, that you had last a child. This, I did not know, as it was never spelled out (and really, should it be?) in this blog. I was going off “Some folks might not like that kinda talk around these parts”. I.e. “People might not like dead baby jokes”. Well that’s presumed as well.
What is not presumed: that this unfortunate and tragic fact is common knowledge to you and your friends. Well, seeing the reaction, I’m guessing this is all very fresh and serious business so I’ll pardon myself from making ‘dead baby references’.
But I stand by the suggestion that you should write a book.
fuzz said it right below those posts on that thread, explained it in plain and simple terms.
I think that’s why everyone’s upset, it seemed like you knew and really didn’t give a sh*t.
Yup. That was it.
I appreciate the apology, and the explanation. Thanks.
Oh…and I “proclaim myself” a writer because…um…I am one. I’ve written four books, actually…I have an agent and a publisher and everything. Just like a “real” writer. My first novel was even nominated for an award. (It didn’t win.) And there are two more in the works that should be finished soon. So thanks for the suggestion that I “should write a book”, but…that’s basically what I do.
What kinds of books? I’m guessing fantasy, but I could be wrong.
(Clickie my name to see, Rogue!)
So, yeah, I was right. You and my sister’d get along well.
I clickied your name when we first had wordplay on my first day, and I think you’re a cool lady. Lady.
Aww…
Tanks.
I still want to read one of them.
Of what? Nesting fail…
Ohhhhh. books. dumb fail.
Her books.
Having a dumb day, excuse my dim behavior.
Not to worry, we’ve all had them.
Had what? Books?
*winks at dilettante*
:: heaves a sigh::
Oh, c’mon. I was only trying to make her feel better.
Tell you what. Email me your address and when your birthday is, and I’ll send you a book. I’ll even sign it, if you want.
Ok, you just made me clap my hands like a two year old.
That would be all kinds of awesome. I’ll get right on that.
Arrrgggg!!! I can’t send it!! The server won’t let me!
*pouts*
Ahh well, damage may be done. I wouldn’t expect anyone to take what I have srsly at this point, but for what it is worth: I didn’t know, sorry I missed your below linked explanation, Fuzz. (And can we get beers next week, Fuzz? I miss you brah!)
MOAR BOOKS. That goes for all of you. Myself included. Go write.
you sighed at me, Avis? I’m gonna….*cries*
^aspiring writer.
I hope your ^ wasn’t for me.
No, I meant that as pointing to myself. I’m the aspiring writer.
http://failblog.org/2008/09/06/ticket-fail/#comment-93892
Fuzz, you are amazing. I had forgotten wich fail that was under.
And now we have proof.
Yes, proof that I hadn’t read that particular comment. One thousand internet apologies for the failblog community.
The proof is in the pudding bukkit.
<3 you.
“He is in my behind”, that must hurt…
May the farce be with you.
May the force be in your behind.
Your behind is a big one.
Mr. Ronber, we are for the big.
Sausage, do you is f*cking?
Very good, give me surprised and pleased.
Sigh. It should be pointed out in a huge banner that this rendition of the film is probably a lot more entertaining.
Do the letters DIY mean anything to you?
Yes.
Goooood…
Then do the words ‘DIY – Making a banner’ mean something to you?
Maybe not to him, but surely they would mean something to you. After all, it is not everyday you come across a child genius.
DIY, Isn’t that how he ALWAYS does it? Him and Vienna should surely know what that means!
lmfao
Bęńd óvęr and I’ll show you what that means!
DIY, you’re doing it wrong.
gth
*yawn*
No. I don’t want to waste anymore of my time making a banner that says nothing of importance. I’d rather waste my time, (yours as well) making teeny-tiny little banners here in Failblog.
If YOU want a real banner, I’d suggest you get your mum to come and help you with the scissors.
you need to leave so hard
“you need to leave so hard”
I think you mean:
‘You need to leave so hard.’
Notice the difference? The writing at the top was written by an 8 year old.
*eats daily apple*
Sour?
Nope. Sweet and crunchy.
Disappointingly ineffective, though.
Well, at least it kept the doctor away.
Wait?
The fact is, if you ate one apple each day, you’d be hospitalized by malnutrition. That is, if you have health insurance. Supposing you don’t, you would suffer tremendously. I suggest you eat different types of food.
A diet consisting of one apple per day would leave a healthy individual hospitalised from malnutrition, provided they even had health insurance.
Or provided they lived in a country with free health care.
*is jealous*
Oh snap. XD
ok, moving on….
That explains quite a lot, DrDr.
This is where “Do not want” comes from, by the way.
45 seconds of intro for 106-ish seconds of footage = fail
I actually agree. The opening crawl was a bit… unnecessary.
“You are already at full cock now”
YOU ARE AT FULL COCK NOW
Wow, Deja vu!
Didn’t this just show on Failblog yesterday. Duh.
No
i don’t even care if it is fake, i love it! lol
Saw this entire DVD at a party some time back.
It was VERY entertaining.
They left out a couple of the funnier translations.
Apparently “Trade Minister” was confusing.
If I remember correctly, they translated the name of that group to “Prespeterian” (sp?). Half of the translations with the trade alliance
sounded like a religious war!
–>Tom
Man, this is better than the movie.
Aha! Found you! Man, I know a Fulton County cop that’s goint to be glad to hear about this.
going*
Wow, haha funny man. I KNEW I wouln’t be able to ge through these comments without some guy chiming in his worthless opinion.
I’m so cool! I hate on the Star Wars prequels! Like me please!
I make out quite good too! LOL.
We’ve all seen backstroke of the west… Or should have at least. Nothing new.
And I thought BOTW was done intentionally, not by pirates.
The cuckoldry was funny, but the “do not want” LOLVader was the best.
I can picture Vader saying, “DO NOT WANT!!!!” instead of “NOOOOOO!!”
We got signal!
They put chinese text in Google Translate. It translated wrong. That’s funny. So funny. Not. It’s so fucking boring. This kind of joke is boring since 2002!!!
So, kind of like you then.
I hate that panda… always pointing things…
What would make my day? Two things, really.
First, the mangled option becoming available on the authorised DVD … somehow. Perhaps as an unintended Easter egg option. Perhaps as an option that, once you’ve discovered it, becomes the permanent default …
Second … someone stripping out the authorised English language subtitle file and replacing it with this one when showing the authorised film on closed caption TV.
It’d almost be as amusing to me as that time I came up with the idea of getting protestors to break into the factory that makes police cars and replace all the sirens in those vehicles with ice cream truck chimes.
Rofl xDD all your base are belong to us!
the last one.. “do not want”. epic. just epic.
OMG! This same thing happened to my Pirates of the Caribbean DVD! Here are just a few of the translations I remember:
Jack = Sand
Elizabeth = According to the benefit white
What have you done? = You fucked what?
What are you doing? = What the fuck are you doing?
When Jack is telling Elizabeth how he really escaped from that island and opens the trapdoor the subtitles go off in a little world of their own and says “I was walking by here one day and perchance found this here hole”
Basically, all of the subtitles on that DVD are wrong, so we used to watch it just to laugh at the subtitles.
Good to see it happened to other DVDs too!
This is better than the original. i’ll take 5 copies please
LOL. Download them off somewhere… Anyways, referring Asians as “bootleggers” isn’t nice… You Occident people download illegally too.
Can anyone explain to me why “fuck” comes up so often in Engrish?
I heard it was a mistranslation of “dry”, so I don’t know why it’s coming up here so often.
The subtitle being wrong for TEXT DIRECTLY ABOVE IT makes me scream bullshit on this one.
“Do not want”
xD That was epic
Was it REALLY subtitled as “Do not want”?! That’s just awesome.
LOL
300 comments! THIS THREAD IS NOW FAIL
This reminds me of a Woody Allen film called “What’s Up, Tiger Lily?”, in which he bought the rights to a Japanese spy movie but added his own subtitles. The plot gets completely changed around, it is absurd and totally hilarious.
its obviously faked or tampered, because they used clips from episode 2 and 3, and also they never said fuck in star wars, but it was still REALLY funny
DO NOT WANT!
very good editing, i see you have selected and arranged the scenes in such a way that makes it funny. i come from a country with pirated videos like that sold by the roadside like nobody’s business. and you just cannot stand watching the whole movie through with nonsensical subtitles like that, it distracts people, and will literally blow your brains off.
What happen?
Somebody set up us the bomb.
At the very end… Darth Vader: DO NOT WANT.
Amazing powers of observation you have there!
DO NOT WAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHA
I swear they did some of this on purpose…
and I want to buy that dvd
Your father is Luke.
I thought only Yoda was supposed to talk like that.
Could it possibly get any faker? 1/5
HE IS IN MY BEHIND! YOU MAKE OUT QUITE GOOD!
The fact that taps started playing as I was watching this was awesome.
So, the asian bootleggers also fucked up the aspect ratio of the picture?
All the things in that video deserve a “That’s what she said”, especially that bit with “Impossible. You are already at full cock now.”
Where on earth did they learn the word “cuckoldry”? And ROFL on “Do Not Want”. Epic unintentional win.
funny as all hell.
LMAO i remember watching a anime my friend got and all the translations are wrong which makes it funnier LMAO