Tasty Fail
“I think the text got cut off and it’s supposed to be ‘butter, water,’” suggests submitter Kiwi Lemons.
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hurray
In actuality this picture is just cut off. It doesn’t say “butt water” but, rather, something like “Buttered water” or some other word beginning with “butt”. Don’t believe me? Check the other words…
Emulsif = Emulsified
Produ = Product
So really, it seems you guys are the ones failing for not understanding the simplicity of this so-called “fail”
And you fail for not reading the text underneath the photo.
ZING!
Mike = MikesAPuddingHead
He’s worse than Johnny Rubbishpants.
Gosh! You’re SO SMART! That MUST be why your wearing a graduation cap in you profile picture, huh? Did I use punctuation correctly? F’in NERD! You definitely need a laugh in your life dude… Lighten up! “BUTT WATER” as it appears and w/o reading as deeply into as you did (even though it IS pretty obvious) is HILARITY DUFF!!! *lol… annnny-who…
ButterED water? WTFFF is THAT? try butter (COMMA) water. And it’s a fail b/c it’s a funny cut-off. Here’s $5 go buy a sense of humor
Dumb shit. Honestly, What the Fuck is Buttered Water? Comes from dipshit-land no doubt. Prick. EPIC FAIL.
I couldn’t stop laughing, Burn WIN
Jeez, moron. Lay off. It’s obvious that the words got cut off, so stop being captain obvious’ loser brother.
HMMM, you know thats good butt water
Not that cheap butt water which tastes like shit?
my cat has a really bad case of butt-water right now.
I hear you, my cat’s breath smells like cat food.
Worst fail ever
I don’t know about the fail, but the comments are on track to be among the worst ever on failblog. Unfortunately, I didn’t make the “clever people” list, so I guess it’s up to the likes of Loz, Dragonwriter, fuzz on the concept, et al to redeem this comments page.
I think it’s a lost cause, blue
The troll who called us “witty people” was a douche who should not be taken seriously.
Then I still have a chance of getting to hang out with the smart kids?
Well you can hang with me any time
*hugs* And I’m sure the others he mentioned feel the same.
I’m stalking you, Loz…
What a boring life you must have!
AHH! I can’t take it anymore! I must to hang wif the cool/smart kids!
Yep, hang out anytime! But the like Loz said, don’t take trolls seriously.
Agreed! You’ve made me lol more than once, blue, so if it makes you feel any better, you’re on MY clever person list.
woah, let’s all gather round the fire, hold hands and sing
KUMBAYAMYLOOOORD KUMBAYAAAA
Hmm, and whats a cookin’ on that fire? bet it’s sausage.
yeah, you want a mouthful of mr sausage.
Nah. Sausage is greasy, oily, made from all the pig parts that no one else wants, and it’s bad for your body and heart.
No redeeming value whatsoever.
He sure wants it.
Naw, I just like the idea of it burning from something other then the friction from your hands.
Oh yeah, you with that mouthful sure would make me burn:*
Sorry to disappoint but I don’t fly that way.
But since I do work in San Francisco I’m sure I could set you
up with someone that does.
Let me know and I’ll stick your phone number up on the restroom wall.
noooooo i can’t i don’t know the text for that song … bah
Even the others he didn’t mention feel the same. There’s been a blue streak of LOL.
thepowerofblue: Then I still have a chance of getting to hang out with the smart kids?
=======
You can hang out with us dumb kids too.
Pffft. Both you and the Admiral are so very full of WIN!
Did you make that swastika avatar yourself? Out of butt water, like the originals?
Oh sorry but, I think there may be nuts in your butt water
hmm.. yummeh??
I suspect they had to add this tasty butt water to mask the taste of BHA, diglycerides, lactylate and reduced iron.
So I am not sure if this qualifies as a FAIL (What I am sure is that if I want a cake, I will wait to my birthday and hope my grandma still remembers how to cook)
I saw one on Jay Leno once that was this exact same thing except it said “butt honey”.
Honey = butt water from bees. (Not Boo-bees, though.)
Milk = butt water from boo-bees?
ooh! I can do that!! Great party trick!!
*ahem*…I prefer a different definition of honey, theng-kew-veddy-much.
*winks at the Admiral*
::does wrist exercises::
Keeps ‘em supple.
Actually watching Leno? Fail.
Hm. So you spend all your time on this site and then criticize me for watching Leno. Fail indeed.
Oh, go watch Conan.
a barbaric suggestion
Watch Conan jump off a barn and bust his nuts on the edge of a trampoline? Sign me up!
You mean, the water that pours out of my azz when I get enemaz?
Now I get it.
or dysentery…
i speak from experience- went to nepal many years ago, was simultaneously spewing water out both ends… not a fun 24 hours…
Butt water, the new High fructose corn syrup.
I actually googled “butt-water” and found a wonderful device that helps collect it, but I can’t post the link. It’s both very funny and disturbing, and on a site calles gearfuse.
Yummy, sounds like diarrhea.
Usually ingredients are listed in quantity order so since this is the last ingredient before the topping, there’ll be very little in it. Not enough to get worked up about. Just enjoy the cake, damnit.
Yeah, and the main ingredient is sugar. The true American way!
Hmm, I don’t want to argue because I completely agree with this stereotype…but you Brits eat more chocolate than anyone in the world…and I cried the first time I went into a grocery store there because I was vegan and couldn’t eat, every aisle was full of chocolate, pork, sugar, and alcohol. But yes, yes, we’re fat, it’s actually true.
Sounds like an amazing shop!
We Americans invented chocolate covered bacon. Enough said.
Okay, I’ve heard of bacon vodka and bacon ice cream
But chocolate covered bacon?
I’m a little ashamed about living here now :[
It is actually very tasty. Unfortunately it is also quite expensive. Think about $8 for a regular sized bar.
Bacon ice cream? I think the Canadians have the market on that one.
I was at what I guess is the biggest ice cream store in the world in Vancouver… they had something like 168 homemade flavors, including bacon, brussels sprouts, liver and onions, and other tasty offerings. I stuck with lavender. It wasn’t bad!
Bacon Vodka makes fantastic Bloody Marys. You can coat the rim with bacon salt for extra bacon-y goodness.
Bacon salt?
*arteries spontaneously clog*
Haha! Well the Scots invented the battered mars bar… you guys can’t be blamed for that one.
The thought of chocolate-coated bacon makes me want to vomit.
Oh, thank God. I thought we invented that one, and I was just about to share it. Maybe the Scots invented it, but WE were the ones that made whole restaurants dedicated to batter-dipped and deep-fried food… including fried Mars bars and fried Snickers and fried peanut butter cups for dessert. Classy!
It’s more like a chocolate bar with little chunks of bacon in it. And chunks of sea salt. Made with really high quality chocolate.
Sorry for using the word “chunks”
*retches a little*
Maybe the Scots didn’t invent it then… but they’re the ones who claim it as a ‘national delicacy’. Hah.
‘Scuse me a moment…
*has a spontaneous heart attack from merely reading this thread*
I’ve never heard fried Mars bars associated with
any peoples other then the Scots (but then I don’t get out
much). I turned down the chance for one in Edinburgh,
and have not regretted that decision yet.
Ditto, I felt obliged to try one in Edinburgh but I just couldn’t bring myself to lower my life-expectancy so dramatically with one bite.
The Scots have not only deep-fried Mars bars, but deep-fried PIZZA. I did not partake.
No kidding. I felt my arteries harden just by walking into the cafe.
I prefer chocolate strawberries from a Dilettantessen.
*feeds one to fuzzy*
*steals one and runs… rather, waddles… away*
^ soon to be tottering from her delicatessen condition
You Tolkien’ to me?
I always thought us Scots did the deep-fried Mars Bar first. We do deep-fried Creme Eggs. Actually, anything you want, we’ll shove it in the deep-fat frier. The spongier the better
Well I guess it beats having to eat haggis.
Amen.
Oh deep-fried everything is big now a days.
Deep fried Twinkies is the one thing that makes me feel ill merely from the sound of it.
I’ll stick to the classics, thanks
(Sara, though, will gobble most everything up, with her little butterball in the oven.)
Yes, I’m Tolkien’ to you, hobbletin’ gobbler.
Deep-fried haggis.
Ohhhh yes!!!
You never know, that might actually make it palatable.
This little gobbler’s a real yam.
I actually did try haggis in Edinburgh (though not a deep-fried Mars bar). It was bad, actually. Just a little oily for me.
*vomits* My uncle is Scottish and he has it on occasion.
He also got married in a kilt.
How beautiful is Edinburgh, though?
My favorite city in the world!
I’m Scottish and I’m not fond of haggis. Or Edinburgh.
Wtf is wrong with Edinburgh? It’s gorgeous. Ridiculously expensive, but the restaurants, shopping, and clubs are fabulous. The history and walking is nice, too, if you actually go out during the day.
*are*
Everyone but me is going to these great places. It’s not fair, not fair, not fair!
Nuts and gum, together at last!
I suggest we put Monkey Magic in charge of marketing.
“Just enjoy it, damn it!”
Great slogan
It’s no “let them eat cake,” though.
Seriously, nobody rsponded to this? I thought it was a great set-up for a line about how if Marie Antoinette wanted the French to eat cakes made with butt water, then it was no wonder they had a Revolution.
*walks away sadly*
(Not to be confused with *walks away to sad music*, of course!)
I accept the position.
The advert would have a child reading the ingredient list and saying, “butt water??” and the mum saying, “stop your whining and eat your damn cake or there’ll be no Jeremy Kyle watching for you today!”
That would be a reward, not a punishment!
*googles Jeremy Kyle*
He’s a British chat show host, very arrogant, very confrontational, very annoying.
He came on TV just now, coincedentally. I switched over to Ricki Lake, American trailer trash is much more entertaining than British trailer trash! (Not to mention I have a crush on Ms. Lake.)
a coincidence of attractions
( and I see what you ded there )
What ded I do?
OMG!
*checks Loz’s forehead*
No fever…oh, this is bad. She made a spelling error and didn’t catch it. Loz…? LOZ?!? Talk to me!!
It was a return-pun, I’m not ded, don’t worry!
She got bettah!
That’s a newt point.
Where’s a nekkid point?
(realalt’s deep dark secret: has had crush on Ricki Lake
since “Hairspray”. Don’t tell anyone.)
Haha, that IS a dark secret!
You should watch her documentary about giving birth, z0mg 8008135!!
I would prefer a documentary about what happened nine
months prior.
I saw it, Loz.
*knows she’ll be in Ricki’s position in two months*
*throws up a little in her mouth*
Wait, they haven’t made a Ricki Lake show since 2004!
They’ve been reshowing them as “Live” and the core demographic hasn’t even noticed.
We should all totally put our hair up in Hairspray bouffant beehives when Sara goes into labor, and stick our dancing toes in the air, in solidarity with her position as a New Breed-er.
*starts growing his hair out*
“Oh and where does Jeremy Kyle get his guests from? That’s right – Scotland”
You mean Scotland is GB’s Arkansas?
Isn’t that Wales?
I liked Ricki Lake in “Crybaby” much better.
Scotland would be the equivalent of Brooklyn.
Wales would be more like Arkansas, yeah. Teehee.
Thanks, Fuzz. It always makes me happy to stirrup some solidarity.
*spurred on towards future recreation*
Now, now… don’t go tearing off just yet…
and the lark’s vomit is after monosodium glutamate
One of those gay products I guess
Of course, because straight people don’t have butts.
Wait, so all those booty-shakin’ girls in all those rap vidoes are all lesbians?
*wipes mouth*
Uh-huh!
That reminds me of a joke I heard way back in junior high:
What do you call lesbian marriage? A licker’s license.
Haha!
Damn, I don’t have a licence… arrest me, guilty as charged!
That’s ok, we’ll let it slip bi this time.
You’re a very kind homo sapiens.
“bi” = lickety split
*makes like a lick and splits*
*bananas … with undivided attention*
/me makes like a baby and heads out.
Bye, bi baby.
You speak with forked tongue.
With which you CAN be in two places at once.
*flashes fake badge, cuffs Loz, throws into car*
cuffs? *masturbates*
How the hell can you do that while cuffed?
No, wait, I don’t think I want to know.
Either it has something to do with butt water, or her hands are cuffed in the front.
*nosebleeds*
By-and-large, she was bi and large.
Liquor in front, poker in the rear!
The whole list is just as disturbing as the butt water! Whatever happened to cakes made from flour, eggs, butter and sugar?
You can shove your “artificial sodium steakoyl lactylate” and your “propylene glycol monoester”.
I was thinking the exact same thing, too much sugar and strange ingredients
Organic FTW!
Organic or not, I’m still not drinking your butt water.
I heard there’s this one Hollywood actor (he’s really famous, you’d be shocked if I told you his name) who can only be sexually aroused by lying under a glass table while a woman squats over it and releases her butt water right above his face.
Is his pseudonym ‘ripple’?
I don’t think the untalented Mr. ripple has what it takes to make it in show biz.
But he has met Joe Black, big claim to fame!
I iz want famez and fortunez!! Teach me to fly and lif forever!
Mr. Whipple, perhaps?
Unpronouncable chemical ingredients in “baked” goods is the American way! That’s why we’re the nation that invented the Twinkie, which has no natural ingredients whatsoever!
What is a twinkie? Dare I ask?
From the Twinkie page on Wikipedia:
Because of the number of artifical ingredients, there are a couple of urban myths about Twinkies: according to one, the chemical ingredients give the Twinkie an indefinite shelf life; another one postulates that Twinkie was accidentally created by mixing the right set of chemicals, resulting in a sponge cake-like substance.
Lol! I looked them up on google images… they don’t look particularly appetising.
Then again, some of the best things were accidentally created, like penicillin.
Damn penicillium molds. They’re so accident-prone.
And, only here in America, can you get a FRIED Twinkie at the fair… MMMmmm.
batter-dipped, even.
It’s a happy coronary waiting to happen! If might suggest, chocolate sauce, to dip it in? Mmmmmmmmmm!
Ewwwwwwwwwwww.
I tried my first twinkie on my 30th birthday. I’m pretty sure that one was inedible, too.
To be completely honest, I don’t even like sweets. Dark chocolate is acceptable. All twinkies are inedible.
twinks can be sweet
(trying to link this with the fail, ah, tastefully)
That is your idea of tasteful?!
Tasteful, tasteful, little butt,
How you water when I nut.
Black sheep, black sheep, are you fuzz?
Looks like you’ve made frowns on Loz.
Loz: Lol! I looked them up on google images… they don’t look particularly appetising.
================
Google “Twinkie defense” “Dan White”. The person who killed a SF mayor and a SF county supervisor relied on diminished capacity for his defense brought on by a sugar rush from eating Twinkies.
An aritist subsequently commissioned to create a memorial bust for Mayor Moscone (killed by Dan White) carved an impression of a twinkie into the pedastal of the sculpture.
That would be Robert Arneson, a well known SF Bay area artist.
SF Chronicle:
The ceramic sculpture commissioned for $37,000 captured Moscone’s ebullient personality – and sat atop a pedestal adorned with crude allusions to the killings, such as blood-like splatters of red glaze and the words “BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG.”
…
Arneson made light of the fuss, shrugging that “eventually people would scribble all over it so I beat them to it.”
Soon after Dan White was released from prison he committed suicide.
.
Man those Twinkies are dangerous.
I was actually watching this guy on TV who let his twinkies sit on the shelf for like 15 years. They were hard as rocks and inedible. He also showed you how to make them yourself, which was pretty cool.
There are plenty of cakes made with just flour, eggs, butter and sugar. But those wouldn’t survive the high-speed baking and packing process, long ship times and long shelf times of a cake with all the fancy chemicals in it found in a Wal-Mart.
Disturbing or not, I’m really hopeful that the preservatives in my diet are helping to preserve *me*.
Just like drinking formaldehyde… not only hits the spot, preserves it, too!
PLUS, it has the chance of making an immortal strain of cells, which is the first step on your way to cancer! whee!!
Real men eat artificial preservatives.
I disagree…
You must be some kinda kinky kitschy quiche lover.
*steals a quick quiche from the mouth of a dilettante*
Pyramid GO!
failblog chuj
wozi gnoj
na gumowych taczkach
pije pali
konia wali
w dupie ma robaczka
Are you a new ‘comedy’ character?
He is a superstar? Isn’t he?
Yeah, he even has an amazing technicolour dreamcoat.
…oh wait…
I don’t know how to fail him. Should I bring him down? Should I scream and shout?
Close your eyes, pull back the curtain, return to the beginning.
You’ll soon find your answer.
What’s the Loz, tell me what’s-a happenin’, what’s the Loz, tell me what’s-a happenin’…
If every voice were quiet and still, the rocks and stones themselves….. would start to FAAAAAAIIIIIIL.!!!!!
At last, all too well, I can see
What a fail this troll-speak Jesus be.
Wasn’t Joseph the one with the technicolor dreamcoat? No wonder Jesus got out of the carpentry business…who’d want to buy a table from a guy whose dad goes around wearing such a fruity jacket?
You never know, it could have been a major selling-point in those days!
“Sorry, Joseph, we’re going to have stone you to death.”
“But I thought you liked the furniture I make!”
“We do, Joseph, it’s really nice. A little too nice, in fact. We haven’t seen furniture this nice since Sodom and Gomorrah were burnt down.”
“But I have a kid!”
“Yeah, we weren’t buyin’ the old lady’s whole ‘virgin birth’ story at first, but between that, the artistic flair of your furniture, and that rainbow robe you’re always gadding about in, I’m afraid the evidence is overwhelming.”
“It’s a fair cop.”
Now if the bible was written THAT way, I would totally read it.
I roffled.
Joseph was the one with the fruity coat, but it wasn’t Joseph Juses’ dad. It was Joseph Isaac’s son.
I was under the impression that blue knew that but was just making a joke…
oh sorry. failure to recognize jokes.
But I could be wrong!
I think you mean Jacob, also known as Isreal.
Abraham > Isaac > Jacob/Isreal > Joseph
Israel
But he Is real!
He Is-not!
No, I is rael (alternatively)
You imperial aerosol kid!
Exactly!! My hat is off to you Admiral.
Ah, the beer enhanced memories of high school with my nerdy friends… I’ll just imagine that you are one of them from now on, if you don’t mind.
(I’m risking a double-posting.) The Lamb brings back fond memories of geeky good friends and high school. I’m going to let my imagination slide you into those memories from time-to-time, if you don’t mind.
::steaming::
The Admiral is having a fit of the vapors.
I’m waiting for my double-post to show up!
How about having a double shot with me instead?
Hit me with it.
*doubles down*
It’s been ages since I’ve had me some good ol’fashioned butt water.
“Also processes prod[ucts] containing peanuts and other nuts.”
Holy crap… What “other nuts” are these people putting in their cakes?
Hazelnuts? I like hazelnuts
Didn’t even know Hazel had nuts. When did she grow those?! Why wasn’t I invited to the coming-out? *off to IM Hazel…*
Considering that they make cakes with butt water, it’s probably best if you didn’t ask.
Most products these days are made with reclaimed city water… so I guess you could call it “butt water”.
Tell me what city you are from so I never go there. In all others (USAian anyway) it is illegal to use reclaimed water as potable and can only be used for irrigation.
Happens all over the USA. It’s called “Unplanned Indirect Potable Use”. Most cities, especially the big ones, get some if not all their water from rivers. These same cities dump their treated water, and often completely untreated water during floods, right back in the same river. That means that everybody down river is drinking their waste. So, unless you are the first city on the river you’re not safe from this. My town used to pull the water from the river, but after several years
of people becoming ill from upstream waste they constructed large wells that now provide the cities water.
We (California) get our water from reservoirs whose feeder streams and rivers are closely monitored.
I should mention that a couple dozen cities, at least two major, downstream still pull their water from this river, and my town still dumps their waste in it. That river eventually dumps into the Ohio river. From which even more cities pull water, and contribute waste. Of course a lot more waste filled rivers also dump into the Ohio then just my towns. Then it all goes to the Mississippi where nearly a third of the country gets their water.
The Mississippi river supplies the bible belt then? That would explain a lot.
UIPU?
hooray for butt-water? i have personally expended butt-water, and it was not pleasant coming out, so why would i wish to eat something with butt-water in it? although this does raise interesting question, such as how well would something bake when baked with butt-water? hmmmmmm…..
what should u do, to become water out ur butt?
mmh. Topped with GOATSE!
I think I’d be more frightened of the fact that propylene glycol=ANTIFREEZE. Butt water, tasty or no, is the least of my personal worries with this “confection.”
Wait, mass panic is fun. DHMO rules!
who put dhmo in my food? *steams*
Okay, failblog hates my comments.
Ethylene glycol is used in antifreeze and is toxic.
Propylene glycol is put in tasty treats and is a safer antifreeze. The toxicity is low.
Mass panic is only funny some times.
For real toxic stuff try Dihydrogen Monoxide, just google DHMO
*examines for toxic plumes*
I keep them hidden in aliens.
What kind of cake is this anyway? I can’t make out the words behind the caption.
A cake made with butt water? Let’s hope this cake IS a lie.
But don’t poke it… :[
We are serious!
Yes, pull it’s finger!
So incredibly obvious that someone took that picture specifically to highlight that exact break in the text .. it did not get cut off, they only took a picture of the left hand side of it.
So how do you account for the blank area to the right of the text?
Butters: “Remember I said I put that medicinal suppository in my anus?”
“And, oh, my parents don’t know…”
You’re gonna get grounded.
Pass the butter.
Or the Margarine?
*mixes ingredients for the ultimate tango*
What, no Manhattans?
Paris the thought.
I remember that episode of South Park.
Anal toothbrush fail!
You know if you’re bulimic and you take too many laxatives you get butt water.
Actually, I think that’s called flaming butt pee. You also get that if you stop eating food in favor of only drinking booze.
Well, I gues there’s this one….click name.
Is that a rain water collector? Wow. Just wow.
I have crackers with “butt flavor” listed as an ingredient. They were the nastiest crackers ever.
Has me thinking about cracked wheat flour now.
You dumb shit. Buttered water? WTF?
watch out…it may contain nuts too.
what?
what im confused?
see more pwn and owned pictures
butt-er? o.O