Comments on: Bumper Fail

By: YOU FAIL AT LIFE

YOU FAIL AT LIFE — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 01:00:17 +0000

bumper fail, redneck win

By: RakureX2

RakureX2 — Tue, 26 May 2009 21:41:37 +0000

Oh well, at least the car is a Subaru Outback………

By: Dooley

Dooley — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 10:53:24 +0000

The Subaru Outback. Demonstrating where nature sits on the totem.

By: Marko

Marko — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 03:49:35 +0000

The log is to help getting un-stuck from the mud when you go off-roading.

By: Adam

Adam — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 21:37:31 +0000

The very first steel bumpers were rigidly attached to the frame, and it was found that low speed impacts caused serious injury to the occupants. Engineers solved this problem with 5mph shock absorbers. The solid steel bumpers in the late 1970′s and early 1980′s were mounted with these shock absorbers. The idea was that any impact of low energy (equal to 5mph into a wall) would cause no damage to the car. The shock absorbers would burst at impacts of higher energy. Pressure to make automobiles lighter and more fuel fuel efficient forced automobile manufacturers to abandon the use of steel bumpers and the 5mph shock absorbers in favor of the crumple-zone design used today. Because of this, bumping into a pole or other car in a parking lot costs a thousand times more than with the old design. However, current advancements have made the crumple zone design relatively safe in a high energy impact. I say relatively because the crash tests are done against a wall. If you were to crash into my 1982 Oldsmobile Regency (5200 lbs) in your new 3000 lb sedan, you and your car would sustain most of the damage because my car has more intertia. The truth is auto makers could combine the crumple zone idea with a useful bumper, but cars would cost more, weigh more, and use more gasoline.

By: pk-ownage

pk-ownage — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 07:09:20 +0000

It’s what makes a subaru, a subaru

By: Dre

Dre — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 04:19:46 +0000

Win all the way

By: PiBo

PiBo — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 11:25:06 +0000

Win. Those of you saying that a car crash involving a tree is so devastating need to realize that trees tend to be rooted in the ground (typically as deep as they are tall) and are vertical – not horizontal. Another Win – The model – ‘Outback.’ = Priceless

By: har

har — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 18:53:15 +0000

i just dropped a log in the toilet

By: Bored

Bored — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 06:46:22 +0000

that bumper is definitely win. does its job very well i presume

By: farrex

farrex — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 18:03:29 +0000

This is an antique bumper
Because the bumper had been getting better and better day by day like first was from wood, then rock, then copper, then steel, then aluminium, and now a kind of plastic with metal properties.

By: davo

davo — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 06:56:40 +0000

probably cuz there weren’t as many idiots behind the wheel back then and they didn’t have to factor in a crash happening every 3 seconds..

By: paula

paula — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 02:19:39 +0000

hahaha!!! i totally tailgated this car on my way to school a year ago because i was trying to get a picture of the bumper. failed at taking it myself but just crapped my pants with joy to find it here!

By: Pablo+

Pablo+ — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 23:52:06 +0000

Agreed!

By: GavMo

GavMo — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 00:20:43 +0000

It’s called ‘Planned Obsolesence’

By: KK

KK — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 19:39:19 +0000

this is WIN-WIN, for ingenuity, being green, and saving $$ on car repairs!

By: Spaztronomical

Spaztronomical — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 15:59:38 +0000

technically you still posted about being first. but, agreed, this is a win.

By: Bob

Bob — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 02:06:26 +0000

Considering my brother while stationed in Germany bought a BMW….He could not bring it back to the states because the bumper (and other parts, but for this conversation) was TOO strong….it was made of steel, making it “unsafe” for people on the road, since they are in “garbage” materials (to use previous statements).

By: chad

chad — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 07:58:20 +0000

I actually saw this car just a couple days ago. It cracked me up at the time.

But I say, “Why not?” Haha. I’d rather strap a log on than pay the manufacturer a couple thousand dollars for a painted piece of plastic.

By: whitewater_plz

whitewater_plz — Sat, 20 Sep 2008 06:23:56 +0000

it’s a subaru with a roof rack. obviously they spend a lot of time in the woods. leave people in the woods long enough and you get all kinds of weird hippie-tech, like the river-water-and-leaves gravity bong or the palace-o-tarps with earth-insulated, bear-proof cooler cage. after seeing my fellow guides come up with that stuff, i’m amazed we didn’t have a tree/car hybrid like this show up.

By: Nasonguy

Nasonguy — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 18:53:11 +0000

FTW! That’s what any rightful, nature loving, sooby owned would do!

By: Etcetera

Etcetera — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 03:36:06 +0000

Srsly. This is a Subaru, in Colorado. We have lots of logs, and lots of Subarus without bumpers or fenders. What would YOU do????? Pfft.

By: Cam

Cam — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 13:56:44 +0000

240th comment WIN??????

Nah…Wooden bumpers are W-I-N

By: amorphi

amorphi — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 03:54:41 +0000

WIN! OMG WIN!

By: Donnie Mac

Donnie Mac — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 02:31:28 +0000

Bumper win! That must be one tough bumper!

By: Loz

Loz — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 00:56:12 +0000

I’m with Dragon on this one. Suburbs are conveniently middle-ish. Great for fence-sitters. I love the countryside but I also like being near civilisation.

By: Loz

Loz — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 00:54:07 +0000

*hands inhaler*

By: Aaron

Aaron — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 00:46:03 +0000

green bumper

By: Dragonwriter

Dragonwriter — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 02:41:23 +0000

You can’t “ftw” yourself! It’s in the rules!

I’m sorry, but you…fail.

By: mrdobalina

mrdobalina — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 02:28:01 +0000

I will now log off my intertest.

(ftw?)

By: Dragonwriter

Dragonwriter — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 02:23:06 +0000

*points Biff toward the definition of “irony” in the dictionary*

By: Biff

Biff — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 01:36:32 +0000

OK. At least you’re being honest.

By: Pretentious White Girl

Pretentious White Girl — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 01:27:16 +0000

I’m wilting with laughter…

By: Pretentious White Girl

Pretentious White Girl — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 01:25:22 +0000

How much ass could a jackass jack if a jackass could jack ass?

By: Failer

Failer — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 00:09:22 +0000

Don’t you insult nature’s bumper!!!!

By: Dalkorian

Dalkorian — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 00:03:01 +0000

Dunno if I’d call this a redneck ‘win’, but it’s definitely a redneck bumper! Imagine the damage that log will do to the back of that poor Subaru if it was hit from behind.
Bumper fail. Hell, total rear of car fail!

By: Dalkorian

Dalkorian — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 23:48:54 +0000

Ren and Stimpy reference – man that takes me back. Back to days I can’t remember due to excessive drug and alcohol consumption done during those days. Is that a paradox?

By: phonono

phonono — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 23:40:31 +0000

1) I don’t hate people from rural areas. I AM from a rural area. (And i don’t hate myself =D)
2) You don’t NECESSARILY need a private car if you live in a rural area.

By: dilettante

dilettante — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 23:36:51 +0000

You get pie for that.

By: dilettante

dilettante — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 23:36:08 +0000

There’s a gremlin in my cell phone.

By: mr s.a.u.s.a.g.e

mr s.a.u.s.a.g.e — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 23:04:51 +0000

mmm…bodily fluids…*masturbates*

By: K

Wed, 10 Sep 2008 23:01:32 +0000

Your comment rubbed me the right way. And boy does it feel good!

By: K

Wed, 10 Sep 2008 23:00:39 +0000

Wait, I have a twin??

By: Biff

Biff — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 22:42:51 +0000

I understand this far better then you do. Yes the collapsing car is designed to protect the passengers. But the switch for old solid steel to todays plastic, fiber glass, aluminum collapse cars didn’t come about in order to provide safety. It came about to make more money by building cars out of cheaper less safe materials. After the fact they realized that these cheap little death traps that crumpled up like tin foil were killing everybody. So, they designed the strategic collapse cars in an effort to make them as safe as the old steel models. In short, the collapsing car isn’t an improvement over steel, it’s a compensation for building cars out of garbage materials. The only true safety improvements since the old steel days are things like seat belts, ABS, etc.

By: Dragonwriter

Dragonwriter — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 22:42:03 +0000

Stop, chop, and withold?

By: Biff

Biff — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 22:26:52 +0000

There was no jaws of life back then. The only thing those old cars had going against them was lack of seat belts, other then that, they were far superior to newer models. As far as conspiracies go… I never said it was a conspiracy, but I suppose you could call it that. Not much of one though. Car makers simply claim that the garbage construction of cars is a safety feature to explain why they get totaled at ten miles an hour into a pole.

By: Dragonwriter

Dragonwriter — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 22:06:10 +0000

I like cities…just don’t want to live in the thick of one. And the country gives ME the heebie jeebies.

I guess that’s why there are different places for different people to live, huh?

By: kelti

kelti — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 21:55:44 +0000

Is that a log, or is your car just happy to see me?

By: RogueThree

RogueThree — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 21:50:59 +0000

Then she bite my pee-pee off and I have too pee threw straw.

By: dilettante

dilettante — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 21:49:00 +0000

“Let them know you worth it
Dust it off and jerk it
Jerk it, jerk it
Dust it off and jerk it”