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» 241 Failures in Communication
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Cheezburger Network Blog
Banana on the cob, anyone?
SECOND! ALMOST FIRST! FIRST TIME I DID A FIRST POST. Oops, not first post. Damn. Where’s the gents, I’ll have to mop up?!
You just failed so hard.
Failed SO hard – about as hard as a banana
Comparison fail
Innuendo win?
A fail fruit stand?
Or a fail vegetable stand.
…and the problem was to reallocate staff work schedules so that everyone was guaranteed at least one day off in three whilst guaranteeing normal production…which was one hell of a problem…yes?
This fail stinks. There could be bananas right below the frame.
I thought your name was Jacques Derriere.
Did someone call an asse?
really?
Long story, ‘poo, full of furry foxiness and frenchy filosophy.
Not to mention fur and fetuses.
Although alas no fuzz upon that fine asse lass.
They almost guessed it….
And you could have two brain cells to rub together. But, until you actually show us evidence of that, we have to work with what we see.
Burn!!
Nice post there, McFly!
…you aren’t making any sense…yes?
That reply was for ineverfial, not Marty.
Thank you. I try to be unpredictable, because bananas are everywhere. Better watch out for them.
…and it’s Martin. As soon as you say, lost men of the assembly section, you had to ensure you had sufficient manpower to tide you over the hole three-day-period without any noticable shrinkage in labour effictiveness.
Alan Aykbourn – Between mouthfuls pretty much predictable^^it’s damn too late in the evening
Watch out for dancing bananas when it’s PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!!!1!
…better put a banana in your ear, Charliiiiieee
bananas are a herb
*an*
Spelling correction fail!
Seconded.
Although in the US they pronounce it ‘erb’ for some bizarre reason. So perhaps they’re justified in their ‘an’.
Yeah, because no OTHER country would ever drop the aitch at the beginning of a word! :p
(“In ‘Artford, ‘Ereford, and ‘Ampshire, ‘urricanes ‘ardly HEVER ‘appen!”)
But yes, in the US we do use an “an” there.
Oh, dear. Good thing I’m starting to enjoy floggings. and the subsequent Cape Cods.
dill is a spicy potential etymological aunt
(and not to be confused with a bland actual entomological ant)
He failed so hard
Cause he took too long
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
Maybe he did fall
Who cares at all?
In the end
It doesn’t even matter.
That’s just my (hybrid) theory.
shitty band reference fail
It just doesn’t matter!
It just doesn’t matter!
…
Meatballs FTW!!!
I’m glad you didn’t get first. The other person actually said something relovent.
On another subject, I hope you get cancer.
Maybe I’m amaized at this photo.
Maybe you’re a man in the middle of something he doesn’t really understand.
Here, let me take your hand …
*cue Tibetan Steely Dan Kinks Beatles remix*
no he was right in the first place… maybe he was aMAIZEd at the photo
Maybe you’re a fruit standing in the middle of some lyric wit you don’t really understand; you don’t seem to know the right place to “no.”
)
—-
(P.S. I have some Native American ancestry — my people know all about what you people call “corny.”
Corny jokes. I LOVE it!
Oh I get it now <_<
lend me your rears
finally, someone didn’t say omfg IMFIRST ROFL ZOMG ROTFL
This is a corny picture
*ba-dum-tsh!*
He’ll be here all week, folks!!!
You know, even as a kid I thought the Banana Splits were corny. Hanna-Barbera meets Sid and Marty Krofft indeed.
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more plantainful than the risk it took to blossom.” — Anais Nin, mostly
*musas about the variations of fine poetry*
I don’t Zea your point.
IF this is a banana, how the hell have I been making popcorn ?? * gasps *
You haven’t; that’s why everyone has been complaining that your popcorn is a disgusting goopy mess!
Mmmmmm….fried bananas…mmmmmmmm….
bannas should be grilled with chocolate buttons and marshmallows
I will ignore “bannas” if you explain wtf a “chocolate button” is. Is this a British thing? I’ve seen some bizarre chocolate over there.
Cadbury’s chocolate buttons are simply small discs of chocolate.
No, grilled with peanut butter in between slices of buttered bread (butter on outside). You know, Elvis-style. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm……
Disgusting and goopy do not belong together in the same sentence.
Unless you’re talking about an American romcom.
I’m American and have no idea wtf a romcom is.
Remember trick or treaters, don’t accept any bananas that aren’t in a wrapper.
But wait, bananas are always in a…. excuse me, I’m going to go stick my head in the microwave.
By wrapper, did you mean chlorophylactic?
( Always use protection when you’re treated to a trick …
especially from a ho that mrdobalina do know … )
won’t that turn you into a super-villan
Ho do we know that the sign is for the fruit and veg BELOW it, and just below the bottom of the picture is a lovely basket of ripe bananas?
Huh? HUH?!
Eee gads Buzz Killington, you’re right! You should probably go investigate and you know, be somewhere other than here!
No, YOU shuddup!
Would you consider changing your name to “mrsensitive”?
Would YOU consider changing your name to wanker?
…
Oh wait. Good choice, sir.
Would YOU consider sucking a penor?
…
Oh wait. Good choice, sir.
What…Is you looking in a mirror?!
Talking about yourself, are we?
That’s not a nice way to talk about your mother.
Yeah! Is you? IS YOU?
[Travis is trying his guns on the mirror ]
Huh? Huh? You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? Then who the hell else are you talking… you talking to me? Well I’m the only one here. Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to? Oh yeah? OK.
there’s a simple rule i use when offending people or defending an offence… if you can’t think of anything good to say … DON’T it’ll only make you look more stupid
“I don’t mind people thinking I’m an idiot, I just don’t like giving them proof”
mom always liked you best
Lol!
don’t let this optical illusion get to you.. there are no bananas…
Just like there is no spoon.
…And there is no bin.
But, yes, we have no bananas.
…only corn.
I’m McCorn and I approved this banana.
And I’m Obanana. These Bananas need change.
lol
Double lol!!
And I’m Anna Banana Rosannadanna, and I agree.
I’m Sarah Peelin. In Alaska, all bananas are frozen.
I’m Bristol Peelin, and the bananas are seriously not worth it
Yeah, HO do we know, anyway?
*SHOCK HORROR*
Someone missed out a letter at the end of a word and the overall meaning of the sentence was still clear…
…
/dies of exposure to banality
You know, you can just admit your mistake.
yeah but its just more fun this way
If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I would have farted, thank you very much.
win
Dim some?
pork?
The easiest way would be to listen to your own voice.
Well, that explains the smell then…
Or respect others by taking a centon to proofread.
if I wanted to listen to a bum I would have farted.
Or you can just listen to yourself.
Or i could just look at your face.
…
That’s right, you have a fart-face.
…And so the thred descends into pathetic insults.
*thread
If by ‘pathetic’ you mean ‘wonderfully post-modernist ironic with a hint of Freudian wit’, then yes, I agree with you.
“In his depth-psychological introduction of the nature of wit Freud concludes that its topographical seat is in the unconscious while the seat of the comic and that of the humor is in the preconscious. From the standpoint of economy all these phenomena display a tendency towards condensation of the spiritual material; considered dynamically, humor has its origin in a displacement of the super-ego.”
…
That pretty much sums up my posts, I think.
Are you off the meds today?
Jacques Laconic you are not.
He thinks he’s being clever but in-fact he is being childish
Jacque LaColonic perhaps?
Jacqui Ass you are not.
Jacques Derriere just “died”.
How do you know my real name?
I read about you in The Onion portion of the failed produce section at the grossery store..
‘grossery’? Is that where they sell the most disgusting stuff on the planet?
It’s the place where flatulent bums discuss deconstructionist perspectives on the psychodynamic pathos of anal fixation.
Those bums really need to stop picking up old copies of Freud’s books and cans of baked beans.
It’s just been a while since he’s had any jouissance. THAT will make a guy cranky!
Fuzz on the C – “It’s the place where flatulent bums discuss deconstructionist perspectives on the psychodynamic pathos of anal fixation.”
Are you talking about failblog? That is a most concise definition.
Definitely a hint of wit.
… and a purchase of clue.
how many times can you use that line? I’m curious
Easy there, mister. Some people call it a joke. Sorry to offend you and your massive amount of funny. I’ll just quietly back into a corner whimpering at your conquering of me being facetious.
You really must be so proud.
MY ROFLCOPTER STILL GOES SOI SOI SOI SOI
“Whut?” indeed.
Surely ‘Whut Whut Whut Whut Whut Whut Whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiir*
MY CHAINSAW GOES BUZZZZT
And the Laser LipoDissolve® colored girls go
“Doo, doo doo, doo doo, doo doo doo…”
And when you buy this perfect piece of land, you can spend you life going ‘glub glub glub glub’. Comes with lake view.
And the wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round…
Would you look at that — this time chuckles posted something from childhood that isn’t about infantile poo poo, etc., and is in fact kind of funny.
*keeps hope alive*
*hops*
.
.
.
.
.
.
*and hopes too*
*poke poke poke*
*pogo pogo pogo*
We have met the stick and it pokes us.
*poke*
*whimper* meh
Bazz fazz!
Rowrbazzle!
Friday the 13th comes on a Saturday this month!
Oh no! Growth hormones!
You owe for that.
*pays* :[
Thank you, I would apologize, but you saw the sign. We are serious.
the lady doth protest too much, methinks
*Masturbates*
of course you do
did I miss anything? *masturbates too*
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!….. HE’S BAACK
I said, “Hey, babe,
take a walk on the fail side…”
And the colored girls go
sue, sue sue, sue sue, sue sue sue… [LaserLipoDissolve]
As a wild side note: I see you both have a head for lyrics — may you never lose it.
Honestly, is there anything worse than a banana fail?
*Sorry, just had to*
*peels of silence*
You know the nearer your destination
The more you’re slip slidin’ away
say hi to the darkness for me — we’re old friends
Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring BANANAPHONE!
*Same reason as wimple.*
I’ve got this feeling, so appealing,
for us to get together and sing. Sing!
Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring…
I should stop now, before Failbloggers start getting irritated by me. Again.
Do I sense a certain bitterness?
Well, a bit of bitterness. Cautiousness would be a better word.
Lets call it cautterness.
It’s not sweetness, sourness, or saltiness, so, yeah.
Ring Ring Ring Ring C-OOORNPHONE.
Doesn’t quite have the same ring to it, does it?
Yeah, sounds like hillbilly cornpone to me.
I used to be a corn star, you know.
I has a cormnana
And I have a banarn.
You two should see doctors about that.
Nah, a biologist would be sufficient to looks at our banana – corn hybrids.
Grammer fail there. Sorry.
Grammer? *shoots*
Is it Grammar? URGH!
*Slumps to ground, clutching chest with blood seeping through fingers*
*t-bags bondfan4518 halo style*
*pwns chuckles with spartan laser*
*Takes out Gorgonzola with a single Walther PPK bullet*
just when you thought we could throw cauterness to the wind
*sigh*
*Energy sword*
Laser whore!
BFF,
Does your browser not underline, or otherwise indicate misspelled words in the comment composition box? If not, see Q for an upgrade.
Yes, sir!
*Walks off*
What?
I SAID, *mumble mumble mumble*
Yee-ah!
OKAY!
This thread is full of WIN!
Ironically
“Because of their high iron content, bananas have the full of WIN! ability to stimulate hemoglobin production in the bloodstream.”
[mumbling with a mouthful of banana]
I wuz ther wen dis foto wuz takn.
I am NOT going to make an “eating the banana” joke. Nope. No I am not.
Not no way, no how. Noop.
.
.
.
*head asplodes*
And I’M keeping hope alive that there remain joke holes barred on the corning wear.
____
(Hop-fully I buried that one in so many puns, the fail adolescents won’t have their fixation activated.)
And I’m keeping hope my periodic attempts at humor are understood.
Que sera, sera.
whatever will be, will be…
The future’s not ours to see.
Que sera, sera.
Your mom…
*masturbates*
I didn’t know Oedipus used Failblog.
I’m predicting…
BFF by sophocles
Does no-one on Failblog know the connection between ‘your mom, *masturbates* and Oedipus’? Or I am I being too subtle?
I heard it leads to blindness.
ahhh yess!!
that comment totally Oedipus Rocks
Remember kids! You can become psychic if you gouge your eyes out with pins. It’s in the book!
Finally! An intelect other than the usual crowd.
If you meant masturbation, it can also cause hairy palms. Allegedly.
Hmm… That makes me wonder what all those hobbits have been up to down at the Shire.
Especially since they have hairy FEET, not palms!!!
it’s cause they masturbate with their feet – and this way, they have
pleasure of masturbation and dancing at the same time!
There’s something wrong with this banana….
Yeah, seems to lack self-similarity … not to mention a rough or fragmented geometric shape that can be split into parts, each of which is (at least approximately) a reduced-size copy of the whole.
Those are bananas. But they’re ORGANIC. See, the ‘bananas’ you know are the non-organic ones, which means they’ve been fucked up with a ton chemicals, HENCE the way they look so different. Now everybody has to face the fact that their “exotic” yellow fruit is actually just CORN.
Farmer win!
Fuzz has a Brazilian friend who totally refuses to eat bananas sold in the U.S. — since she knows what real bananas taste like.
I think our bananas are imported from Brazil. Win?
No, unfortunately, because it’s a time factor more than where they come from per se. “Real” bananas have a chance to ripen on the tree and taste much better for it. Imported bananas have to be harvested while they are still quite green, so they won’t be over-ripe by the time they reach retail overseas markets. As a consequence, however, they’re never “really” ripe.
Interesting! I don’t eat bananas though, I know I should but they’re just not nice!
Well, we grow our own, but they don’t taste very nice.
Well, you know what they say about Wimple… Apparently he “grows his own bananas”
I believe most commercial bananas are the same species/cultivar, Cavendish. This was not selected because of its taste, but because of its disease resistance. As with any monoculture, this eventually is doomed to fail.
That’s actually the case — there are present worries about “Panama Disease” potentially doing some serious decimation of the species.
And the whole history of corporations’ efforts to establish and profit from “banana republics” has been it’s own diseased tale.
ok i like this website and all but plz some of these fails are just stupid. This is just a picture of someone that forgot to change the stupid sign. Big F@#$ing deal. Now the pics of some idiot doing something really stupid like the moron that put his curling weight bar through his fish tank. Thats a good fail. This is just dumb.
I KNEW IT! I just knew it! Scientists have been tinkering around with vegetable genetics for too long! And now they have made straight bananas in a covering of leaves!!
Actually, the price seems about right for corn, but a bit steep for bananas.
y banana taste funny?
Mr. President, you have a conference in two minutes…Sir, why are you peeling that corn?
Lol! That made my day.
Bananas that go wryyyyyyyyyyyyy…?
Photo-cropped?
Oh, I’ve got to get in on this action. We’re nowhere near saturation on this topic.
Wow, I seriously JUST made an lj entry about corn. I’m that exciting.
That reminds me, it’s been a while since I’ve used my trusty cornbrator.
Just be sure to observe the admonition against certain joke holes, young lady.
So all the cows have been eating bananas all those years… damn
Good looking banannas.
The banana is a lie.
MORE LIKE BA-NO-NO’S!!!
wow, i totally didnt get this at first. LOL!
Damn.. there are going to be some sore and confused blonde pornstars out there after they stop at that produce stand.
yeah right you just moved the sign
Those would sell in America. They think the bananas they eat now are manufactured at the stores, and would love some ORGANIC BANANAS.