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Cheezburger Network Blog
first
good for u
bigfoot was your mom’s first too.
First “Ex” you mean?
are you all trying to be the burn of the week? this would be a fail there if i ever saw one.
And so what are you trying to be with that comment?
The voice of the populous who sighed and read the next thread.
sigh I say !
*sigh*
that would be the SAME THING!
No need to be bitter.
I have 2 big feet, one slightly bigger than the other. they have never met yourr mother, but i sure would love to get them both right up her vagina someday.
That’s nice, pet.
*snork*
*hugs Loz*
You rock.
*hugs Dragon*
you rock, too, also.
*sticks a gold star on Loz’s nose for proper comma use*
*vomits*
Now now. Being bulimic won’t make you any more popular with the cool* kids. Be proud of who you are!
*and by “cool kids” I mean the total word-nerds.
*snork*
Well said!!
*masturbates*
PYRAMID OF FAIL
Now now. Just because you’ve been scammed by a pyramid scheme doesn’t mean you can’t also be popular with the cool kids.
just because all your friends think you are a gay & in closet,
doesn’t mean you have to try and prove your straightness on the internet by
befriending ‘Loz’. *sighs* *wonders why, why, why…”*
do you like butter??
Hey, BabyBabble, this fails –
fails to make sense; fails to be clever; fails to be amusing.
.
If you’d bothered to do the courtesy of paying the least bit of attention here, you’d know that befriending the joyfully ever-loving Loz is no way for a woman to prove her straightness. (Not that there’s anything wrong with straightness.)
.
Try playing here nice and clever, hm? And consider taking your typing fingers out of the potty.
*peeks out from closet*
Hmm? What? I was looking for my boots. Am I expected to prove something?
Psh. As if.
*gives Loz a great big hug and smooch*
*favors fuzz with a peck and squeeze as well*
(From this morning’s New York Times: “In the Republican Party, Bush love is now the second most popular love that dare not speak its name.”)
*hug* I STILL NEED LOVE!!!
First you have to pull them out of your mouth.
*masturbates*
You’ll go blind if you keep doing that. I have some spare contact lenses you can use in the meantime though.
You do not insult Loz! Ooh, you’ve made one big mistake there, Goolie. Yours will go missing if you don’t shut it.
we have a situation here. Oh guys, you look so bitter today…
As compared to any other day?
i also have one foot larger than the other , WE SHOULD BE FRIENDS
FAKE! You’re nothing but a rubber gorilla suit and possum guts.
You like bigfoot foreplay. You paid bigfoot last night.
It’s the really REAL bigfoot! I promise. You can trust me, I’m a cop.
I’m cereal!
I’m out of focus!
(Can you lend me some?)
*lens
*zooms to the rescue with some fresh perspective*
What a convex-ing turn of events.
I’m here in the corner
Okay, you like “Losing My Religion”. We get it.
Baby better not be there.
Am I cerulean?
Are you inclined toward depression?
No, but I’m not azure of this as I once was.
Now that’s a blue-ribbin’ pun!
*looks indigonant*
How genteal.
Aren’t you slated to go into the navy soon?
I bet you cyan’t wait!
Not the navy, the (ultra) marines.
*hug*
Yeti another first poster.
Abominable!
Such a sassy squatch.
And Danzilla shall tower over it all… yeah ok, that didn’t work for me either.
why do w@ankers do this ‘first’ thing?
they must have sad lonely lives and be so ugly even their own mothers couldn’t love them.
I mean, what the heck!
lmfao, that was so funny!
-Hunny,i think there’s water in the carburettor…
- What? you don’t even know where the carburettor is? Where’s the car?
Insert Benny Hill theme here…
do do do dodododododo dododododoo dodododododo do. X4
Also insert chasing women. And small child at the end. Not that there’s any connection between the two, you sick minded pervert.
Uh huh… and these are not the droids you are looking for.
These are not the droids I am loo–
Hey, wait a minute, yes they are!
wtf?
How’s Petrov?
I hear he moved to Akademgorod to get seriously into table tennis. But they shut the city down, so he never arrived. It seems he sort of vanished in the process. Bad timing I guess. Not the best predicament for a table tennis buff.
The other day, they had an interview with Luther Blisset about the incident. As usually, he claimed that “It wasn’t me!”. After losing a lot of words on how table tennis is one of the last and most certain signs of imperialism’s impending doom, he remarked on rumours that it was just some sort of silly parking accident.
shut up!
Epic trying too hard fail.
In Soviet Russia, Neoists artstrike you!
3rd!!!
oops, 4th. rofl
BondFan, where are you?
He’s in my basement. Can I help?
yes, we have to go fight crime now. Want to help?
*kills everyone*
*stops time, goes back, traps talonsofpeace in small metal room* never again shall you harm the innocent.
*is again innocent and harmed*
how were you harmed btw?
damn grammar fail *disapprove self*
your grammar fail harmed me.
What do you mean you are again innocent? You were born guilty.
Shut up Dan
Religion fail? Maybe abstract will save us from original sin.
Here I am abstract. Sorry for being late.
*Completely obliterates talonsofpeace will Killorama 3000, new with potato slicer*
Right, what next?
Next (adj.) – immediately following in time, order, importance, etc.: [i]Next I will shove my foot up your ass.[/i]
Hmmm… I guess HTML fail FTL.
It would be a HTML fail, if you had written < instead of [ . So therefore this is an BBCode fail.
All around Internet-knowledge fail.
Semantics fail.
And also the HTML is for italics is not “I” but “em”. I think.
Doesitwork?
Oh… hmm… guess both work.
em is supposed to be for emphasized text .
But apparently parses as italics here.
And apparently parses can pass for passes.
somnolence
yeah!!!! so glad to see you!
ok, we have to come up with a mission to go on. I know, we shall save loz from her basement ad recruit her for our cause.
*Narrator again*
Another episode starts with the crime fighting duo of Abstract and BondFan
You guys need to get a room.
So whose nesting?
Oh shut up. Raelalt, I formally accuse of falsely accusing me and abstract as being homosexual. You have been sentenced to 50 years for fraud.
indeed
lol, gender misidentification, i assume you are male
i, however, am not
lock him up with talonsofpeace!!
also charge him with slander
Not gay, thats ok.
Just incredibly boring.
watch some heroes, and let us be
As I said: get your own room and stop using this as your personal sandbox. It is not funny, entertaining, and is certainly not interesting. Go play outside now and let the grownups talk.
Aw come on, raelalt. Ever heard of the concept of ‘fun’?
yeah, don’t be a bully!
I feel honored to agree with raelalt.
Bond and abstract need to take this online geek glee club elsewhere so the nerds can get down to business. Whenever 30 of the first 40 posts are two idiots bantering mindlessly you know you have a blogtastrophe imminent.
To reiterate so you will understand: Bond and abstract, GO AWAY!
Oh, get over it. If you don’t want to read it, don’t read it. They could be worse.
That’s my point, I like fail blogs blogs, but when I go to read this one, all I can find is these two making sweet blog love. This makes me a sad panda. I don’t want to sift through their ‘junk’ to find the funny gems I’ve come to know and love.
In short, they are ruining the experiance for me and I assume others like me. I have ever right ask them to stop.
And they, in turn have the right to keep up their running dialog.
True Avis, but that comment makes you a cervix mitten in my eyes.
Your opinion of me matters not. Why is it important to you to step on someone elses fun? Regardless of whether YOU think it’s fun.
thanks Avis *kiss*
*Serious tone*
Now, First!, I have understood your cries for sanity to be restored, and have concluded that I, BondFan4518, will only participate in sensible, with only a bit of fun, conversations. These kinds of threads should not exist. Thanks for bringing this to my attention.
abstract is a girl? *dies of lust*
For the record, Avis is a girl too. But most of y’all know that.
Oh I knew… I think about you often…
** masturbates **
to “First!”
*experience
*narrator* where will they save lives this week? London, Paris, The Virgin Islands?
*Explosions, screams*
It is Berlin, where talonsopeace has raged havoc by bringing life back to Hitler. Already Western Europe is falling. Can they save the world?
*Dramatic music*
Hitler?! OMFG
I call Godwin!
*Pops out of a trash-can in the corner with twin carbines blazing, laying waste to Abstract and Bondfan, who evaporate in a torrent of bloody particulant, intestines and grammar fails all over the wall.*
Talonsofpeace, in Britain, we have rubbish bins, So where ever you are, you haven’t popped up in the right place.
*Talonsofpeace spontaneously combusts due to reasons unknown to science*
I was bored the first dozen times I’ve seen this rubbish.
*hiro of the past sees event in Isac’s painting, wastes talonsofpeace before he can get a round off*
Then switch the damn TV off, fuzz! Change the channel to more sensible stuff, like FOX news. On second thought…
No kidding. Bring back gasman for dogs sake, even he was more entertaining.
*Talonsofpeace screams in pain*
*Narrator*
And so, Abstract and BondFan have-
*Punched repeatedly by extremely bored fuzz*
fuzz, why don’t you join us on our mission? BondFan, what say you?
Well, fellow companion
*Whispers so raelalt can’t hear*
I think fuzz should join – if he wants to.
fuzz, maybe if you join us you will find excitement and….easy women.
not myself, however, but that stripper from earlier might be willing
*grabs fuzz’s and raelalt’s hands*
C’mon. Let’s let them have their fun here, and we can make our own brand of fun ourselves elsewhere.
*blink blink*
Okay, that sounded very, very wrong.
*grins*
*skips away for more wordplay fun elsewhere with folks who like such stuffs*
I guess it is a sign that a particular fail’s comment section is
losing steam when these two start their little foreplay session.
Raelalt, I formally apologise to you and dragonwriter, fuzz, loz, and numerous others I may have disappointed. I’m not joking. I will try to be more sensible in future.
Bondfan, you don’t need to apologize to me. And I wasn’t saying you shouldn’t have fun. I agree with Avis…just because your brand of fun isn’t mine doesn’t mean you have to stop.
I was merely trying to make the point that if others were not enjoying the thread, they (well, we) could go elsewhere.
Now…get that :[ look off your face and go have fun.
*shoos*
Okay…
*Gives puppy eye looks at everyone and leaves*
dont be mad at bondfan…
we are serious
:[
I don’t think it’s a stretch to say BondFan and abstract are killing FailBlog comment threads by themselves. I wish it was just one of you, “single handedly” sounds a lot fancier.
It’s nothing personal on my part, they both can be funny when they are participating in the threads. I don’t want them to leave, just to stop hijacking
the threads with their little self-involved mini-RPGs.
.
Hopefully I haven’t been too big an ass expressing this.
Exactly… I don’t want anyone to leave fail blog since it is y’all that make it so interesting and funny to read. But this thread was like reading a book that should have been judged by it’s cover. That was my only point. My fear was that if not addressed it would continue. Sorry if it came across wrong.
I just love how ironic it is that this thread was made twice as long by all the comments complaining about how BondFan and abstract make long threads.
we also have to find out why nytshad was still harmed even after I trapped talonsofpeace in his small metal room.
Just knowing that Talons exists is kind of harmful. And disturbing.
indeed, he keeps escaping from his little prison and returning from the dead. Impossible to destroy, he must have great powers.
*Ejects from rubbish can and clobbers thread with an assortment of cheeseburgers. Legs it. Balls of Steel.*
*openes window cries loud*
stfu!!!!
*ppl who walking outside geting hearth attack*
Bet it didn’t do their hearts any good either.
The video is kinda too fast. We don’t know if the car slipped or just drove forward…
The snow tracks look pretty straight to me, which indicates that the car didn’t slip. In snow, slipping often also involves skidding, which we’d see in the tracks.
I agree, I would have liked to be able to see the difference. You see brake lights the whole time, but you can’t hear screeching tires.
yeah, and why is the lot that flooded?
or is it a pond?
It’s a park and lock on Canal Street.
lol, canal street
Abscess, the WIN in that comment was “lock”, not Canal Street.
The brake lights go out and the tail lights stay on.
The driver is halfway out of the window, so their foot couldn’t be on the brake.
There was no sound on the video clip when I played it.
Tires generally don’t screech on ice and snow anyway.
The vehicle wasn’t being “driven”, though it appears that the driver bailed hastily, likely leaving it in gear.
The most interesting part of the video is the wave action submerging the snow and ice.
I think the driver thought that small pond was actually a parking spot, because they went RIGHT for it. And I didn’t see any swerving trying not to get into there.
That, or it was the car belonging to a woman who rejected his proposal in front of hundreds.
lol, revenge…best served cold and wet
The cars break lights were on before it even enters the picture. Maybe the driver is trying desperately to stop before entering the busy intersection and decides to hit the pond instead? Raises the question of if he/she had that much control why could he/she not stop, but that’s what it looked like to me.
Not really that funny…but add that benny hill theme song (as posted above) and it would have been better, at least for me.
boring fail fails more than the fail
fail comment uses the word fail to a failing fail. comment win.
lame..
. . at least I’m not retarded, buck-o
No, you’re clinically insane.
“Insane” is not a clinical term; it’s a legal term.
Then professor TMI, what do you suggest?
*Ponders with ever so slight flicker of intelligence in eyes, but dies out*
This service is no longer available on this thread.
Fuzz switched it off to go engage “more sensible stuff.”
well his sociopathic tenancies seem to be a dead giveaway: he hates everyone, and appears to enjoy inflicting pain… yep clinically a sociopath…
1. I don’t hate anyone.
2. I don’t enjoy suffering.
3. I don’t enjoy imparting suffering on others.
4. I am adjusted socially.
These are all true, but for converse reasons I punish myself with Failblog. Posting here is the blog-equivalent of playing World of Warcraft. It achieves nothing, but is as fun as it is a soul-sucking waste of time.
That, and dead babies on fire.
Welcome to the dark side, cocktail hour is just starting.
no need to take it personally. anonymous attacks on people are staples of this blog… so yeah. unless you’re taking it personally for some… reason?
personally? HMWHAHAHAH *sets another dead baby on fire*
One wonders where the dead babies come from…
indeed, go back to your little room
?
purple. because the ice cream has no bone.
oh!
Unless the boneless ice cream was chalk flavored thirteen and a half weeks ago, it may very well have been.
Video in fast forward is a fail. Slightly funny still.
*pokey bum wanks*
Yes, watching it at regular speed would’ve been SO much funnier, and killed another minute or so that you’re now going to have to spend refreshing this page or picking at your eczema.
i liked the bit when the ice broke hehehe
wasn’t he going into that car park a bit fast, yes i know the video is fast-fowarded, but he didn’t seem to slow down.
A “Park at Your Own Risk” sign was needed.
And I don’t think the driver’ll be buying any waterslides soon.
There’s an underwater bit of land there … where he parks his car.
And he probably needs a failboat to go to there.
I think there’s a “For Sale” sign sticking out
On the bright side, it cleaned his car better than the failwash! http://failblog.org/2008/08/08/car-wash-fail/
LoL
Perhaps a “Parking space for sale” sign also
is this a trailer to new James Bond movie? it must be WIN then!
And on so many levels, the answer to this question is ” No, no it’s not.”
doh, gonna jump from the window then…
That’s one epic fail there.
Slow it down and add the Benny Hill theme music, then loop it about 10 times. It would be the best thing ever.
then it would look like brit-com. xD
Haha!
Having a car = automatic fail!
Actually, my car has a manual fail. It takes some getting used to, but I like it anyway.
FIRST
(time in comment section)
Be easy on me
Got a heart of glass?
Nope, just thought I might get a 24 hour “easy on the noob” period, but I actually love the smartassed comments on here, so bring it on.
“And every lurker shall have his day”
Dagwood loves Boopadoop in the Bumstead.
I salute you Failblog community, altough some of you may seem to be quite moronic in your own special way, I love you all from the bottom of my heart (or something like that). I do hope our mutual relationship evolves to be both gratifying and illuminationg. Also, I use this opportunity to inform you that I am not an english speaker from birth and mistakes and misuse of words may find their way in my posts (hence the name).
Was there a point or was it just a long winded way of saying you’re looking at the site now?
moronic! pah!
mm mm mm mm mm piffle mm mm mm mm mm
Welcome TSOW. There are plenty of born English speakers here leaving their comments in tatters. Shadoobie.
I think it’s Photoshopped.
Just like your face?
“Hey hun! there’s a spot!… glup glup glup…”
I plead insanitary.
Incidentally, what time is being used to stamp these comments? It’s 17:52 where I am.
It’s the time zone of the San Andreas’ Fallo.
Dear God, these comment threads are like a train wreck in slow motion.
Makes it that much harder to look away, doesn’t it?
Does anyone ever discuss the fails on these threads? So annoying…
Whats a fail?
We discussed the Pixies yesterday … but they of course are no fail. (We also discussed the Distillers, the Sex Pistols, the Kinks, and several others … but not Blondie.)
Guess I get the fail award for missing that
And how did that manage to happen?
hm, how about playing it a little bit quicker? it seems so slow …
Behold Winter. I love Winter so much. It pwns all the other seasons.
oh the fail .. .
OMG I’M FIRST!!! FIRST POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FIRST POST!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND YOU SAID I WAS A NOOB!!!??? HA!!!
did he die?
Why are all the comments about “I’m first” instead of the actuall picture or video…?! It’s just stupid..
(Yes, grammar fail)..
The video was speed up dudes