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Cheezburger Network Blog
NO ONE ELSE CAN SAY IT!
It.
First!
… to really say it.
^ first to really iddy it.
*Summons Pennywise the Clown*
*runs away*
penis
i dont get the fail here…
“Kitten in gravy”
Kittens in gravy won’t nest below this level
Kittens won’t nest in gravy. Trust me, I’ve tried.
Mine did, or was that a frog?
a new exalant dog food!!!!
I suppose you’d like some ‘Kitten in gravy’ huh? Or, in keeping with the theme of this place… ‘Bend o ver and I’ll show you where the fail is’
It is apparently a package of kitten….
in gravy….
to eat….
is a funny word.
*masturbates*
How appropriate. Atleast you’re on the right site ronbar.
Now he said it. Oop, I said it. Oop, I said it again. Oop…
IT!
IT!
*cums on it*
*licks cum*
Hmm.. Salty.
Owned.
I appreciate the semen eating in this thread. You guys! Keep on noshing on that man chowder!
ummmm. epic fag fail.
Why is being a “fag” a fail? I’m insulted!
*sues hello*
And besides, talons can’t be a “fag” if “he” doesn’t have what’s required.
Please, don’t insult the “fag” community like that again!
I actually do have the necessary naughty bits.
If you can’t see it, it doesn’t count, talons.
Burn.
*Pours water* No Problem!
Dude, just feck off
Feck off could mean a variety of things…most don’t make sense.
1) “Effect” off
2) “Efficacy” off
3) “Force” off
4) “Value” off
5) “Amount” off
6) “Quantity” off
There’s probably other words I could use, but I thought 6 was stretching it with someone of your intelligence.
Knowledge of Father Ted fail
Yes, because only people in Father Ted ever used the word ‘feck’…
Seriously..
i can type “it” though
Ni!
Ekky-ekky-ekky-ekky-z bang, zoom-boing, z’nourrrwringmm!
ie Jesu Domine, dona eis requiem *thump*
Here, have a P.
Thank you! Now where are those damn toilets…
I wouldn’t go in there if I were you, Bond. Juasman filled them with kitten in gravy.
What-URGH! Good god, someone clear that out! And I don’t think those are pieces of beef floating! A quarantine!
*Men in biohazard suits shut down toilets, arrest Juasman*
Oh gawd…did you guys start a plague while I was gone?
Sheesh. I can’t leave you alone for TWO minutes!
Yeah it’s just like that one time when we broke the space-time continuum.
*small voice*
Sorry mommy…
Gah…!
If I’m old enough to be your mommy, I’m not flirting with you anymore.
Hehe…
You still would, c’mon, admit it
NOOoooooooooooo!!!
I have nothing against younger guys, but I do draw the line at jailbait!
It’s alright, we can still be friends.
Popcorn-sharing friends!
*shares*
Damn, Loz is going to kill me for that “alright”.
*hides, shivering, behind couch*
*plays the music from Toy Story*
I would never kill you, Shadow.
BRING OUT YER DEAD!
classic idiot
Your compliments are much appreciated
Mmmmm… Kittens in gravy. Goes great with babyback ribs.
. . . and BBQ ‘em on the good ‘ol Nazi BBQ for the not fail. (Win!)
LMAO… thats just *so* wrong I cant help but laugh.
Kittens in gravy? Hmpf!
so cat food made of cats? i didn’t think they were cannables
Or cannibals, for that matter.
Or cannabis.
Or Lunchables, for that litter.
*picks little clay rocks out of teeth*
PitOOOOOOOoooo!
Blech. I’m going back to the warm, fuzzy type of litter.
You should switch to newspaper. It’s much better for the environment.
Did you know that flushable kitty litter is bad? I didn’t. Not until 4,000 dead seals and sea lions washed up dead on the shores of California. Scientists discovered allergens contained in dead kitty gravy that kills marine life!
So that’s how they get the Chicken of the Sea.
I know it’s tuna, but is it chicken?
tastes like kitten
Unbelievable! It’s not kitten gravy!
Unbelieveable*
Unbelievable**
I was editing his reference to a fail…not saying that’s how it’s spelled. -.-
Oh sorry, I didn’t get the reference…
*fails*
*lols*
It pains me to see Loz fail…
*offers to take the fail upon himself because he’s a nice person…*
It’s okay, Shadow…a little fail now and then keeps us all humble. I think Loz is more than up to it.
Very nice, gentlemanly gesture, though!
*winks*
Gentlemanly? Was that my intent? Ok… yes… I was doing that to be nice… yeah…
*winks at Loz*
Group cuddle!
*cuddles*
i feel like i just interrupted a jerk circle
UNBereevaBrAAAr!!! so Tangggy! jus like momma Maeeekiiit!
Shadow, you are so chivalrous. I appreciate the thought, but I actually quite enjoy the odd fail
Dragon’s right, we all need them!
But, if you really insist… *gives fail* :p
Nah, Tiamat, that’s how they get KFC.
Or canines.
Or cakes.
The cat is a lie!
The cat is delicious and moist.
I prefer to prepare kitten with a nice Bearnaise sauce.
try my sauce *masturbates*
“bend over and ill show you a sauce” – gasman
they arent cannables, but lickables *dumm dumm, disch*
Sounds Chinese…it’s kitten food flavored like duck, poultry, lamb, and rabbit. Duck is poultry though, so why is it a separate category?
Because they actually mean some sort of chicken or turkey flavor for poultry?
Poultry is a broad category. If they’re gonna have two different poultry flavors, then they should name them by their actual flavor. If you name a flavor “Poultry” than could mean any kind of domesticated fowl used for food, or all of them put together. Just seems weird to me to have one called duck and the other called poultry. Why not duck and chicken or turkey or whatever one they used? Unless they want to hid the fact that they probably used canary or something.
It might just be poultry in motion
Ba-dum *crash*
Sounds like a chicken didn’t cross the road.
(Probably got blind-science-sided, or maybe some fine young cannable’s just been driving crashy).
A poultry sense of road safety!
Duck is game. Ahhhhh.
duck is fowl, fool.
So’s chicken so I dont really see your argument there…
fair point. ^^ fowl fail fool.
They’s some foul weather fools down N’awlins way.
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) – Cite This Source – Share This
poul·try Audio Help /ˈpoÊŠltri/ Pronunciation Key – Show Spelled Pronunciation[pohl-tree] Pronunciation Key – Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun
domesticated fowl collectively, esp. those valued for their meat and eggs, as chickens, turkeys, ducks, geese, and guinea fowl.
I have no more to say.
oh no you’ve said too much
I don’t think I ever said “too much” in my above comment.
You haven’t said enough.
That’s me in the corner…
That’s me in the spotlight…
*does Jazz Hands*
*waves to Mom*
Keeping religion fail
What sounds Chinese?!
The fact that there’s kitten meat hidden by other flavors in this cat food.
No, who does though.
Why?
No, why sounds Japanese.
Peking duck
Mmmmmm! Yes please.
Peeking Duck is watching you masturbate.
I somehow doubt that.
It’s really your cat, though, so you might not realize it.
No cats. Boyfriend might though.
*masturbates*
Heeeee. I assume that’s going well, then! Any new dinner menus?
no poultry is birds bred to be eaten ie owned by humans and kept in back gardens or yards such as chickens or turkeys. ducks are usually hunted.
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) – Cite This Source – Share This
poul·try Audio Help /ˈpoÊŠltri/ Pronunciation Key – Show Spelled Pronunciation[pohl-tree] Pronunciation Key – Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun
domesticated fowl collectively, esp. those valued for their meat and eggs, as chickens, turkeys, ducks, geese, and guinea fowl.
It doesn’t matter if you think ducks are USUALLY hunted. If you’re going to use that excuse, then turkeys wouldn’t be poultry either. I grew up on a farm and we had all five of those avian creatures. Actually, if you buy a duck from the store, its probably domestic. Most things that SAY they are wild caught on the package…really aren’t. There was some “wild-caught” trout at the Wal-Mart near me, but it said that it came from China. Ironic thing is, China doesn’t have wild trout…
I’m one of the Fine Young Cannables (sic)
You drive me crazy.
Prince Albert is a cannable.
Hey, keep him outta this! *points to belly*
I’m already full of human. Mmm…
Prince Albert? *Points to penis*
*finds microscope* Uhhh.. nope, still can’t see it.
At least you didn’t have to explain what a Prince Albert was to your mother in law…
Oh god, that must have been traumatic.
*comforts*
It was better than the conversation I had with my mother about sex the night before I got married…
How traditional! Warms the heart.
Indeed! It certainly warmed my cockles. Remind me, someday I’ll do a dramatic reading of the script between my mother and I during said talk.
*reminds!*
Very well, Dragonwriter…
Ahem…
***
The scene: My mother’s living room, at dusk.
Sara and Mom are reclining comfortably on the couch, discussing various last-minute wedding details. Suddenly, Mom, with a tone of hysteria in her voice, exclaims:
*
MOM: You know oral sex is wrong, right?
Sara: Uh…
MOM: I just wanted to tell you. It’s wrong and disgusting.
Sara: Um, okay… what makes you say that?
MOM: It’s just disgusting! And it’s sexist and demeaning to women! I just wanted to make sure you knew that.
Sara: Alrighty then! On that note…
*
Sara makes a confused and hasty exit.
***
And there you have it! How’s that for weird?
Oral sex is wrong? HOW DARE SHE? You go over to your
dad right now and you tell him, “Dad, you can’t lick mums
vagina to save your life. Your a failure.”
Sara…um….
*snicker*
Oh wow. I am cringing for you. Yo momma’s a prude!
Does she not realise oral sex goes both ways, so isn’t sexist?
Oral sex is disgusting? Wish I’d known that earlier before I became a vag-etarian. It doesn’t come in a pounch, one of its names is a synonym for kitten, and if you do it right, it makes its own “gravy.”
I am not sure I would eat anything that came in a “pounch”, organic, vag-itarian or otherwise…is a pounch similar to a fup or a gunt? Or is it more along the lines of a violent carrying case?
Actually, it kinda made me giggle instead…!
better let him out …
in time for turkey gravy season-ing
Good thing, too. Now your screen name makes sense.
Mmm… corazon… dripping with sauce.
Lean over and I’ll show you dripping with sauce.
*masturbates*
Better not tell anyone over at lolcats although loldogs will be pleased.
My cat’s breath smells like cat food.
My breath smells of cat.
My cat smells of breath.
my food smells of cat breath
My cat smells of food breath.
My cat smells of food
My smell foods of cat.
My cat of food breath smells?
My foot smells of cat.
As do all my body parts.
This kitten gravy smells fowl.
Dead animals Dead animals Dead animals. Can’t we just make some stew?
(INSERT SOVIET RUSSIA JOKE HERE)
In Soviet Russia… cat breath smells you?
*Gasp*
Loz, how could you?
You have defied the Failblog treaty of 2008, stating all intelligent failbloggers should refrain from Soviet Russia jokes. Also included are using ‘haz’ and hazing hideous gRamMer,:’ and speeeling. Oh good god. What have I done.
I’ll go to failblog prison, but you have to come too after that hideous spectacle.
Right-ho.
*Charged with hideous grammar and spelling, BondFan lead into prison, but escapes with Loz while Great Escape music plays in background. Waiting motorcycle is no coincidence*
*Grabs BondFan and drags him back to the prison for yet another spelling error*
da da … dadaaa daladaa. da da dadaalalalalaar
*Escapes by helicopter, with massive explosion behind. James Bond title sequence starts with music.*
I read that wrong at first…I thought it said “massive exploding behind.”…
LOL <3
Hew cauld yau mastike my spleling?
“Hue cod you masturbate my spleen?”?
*Slaps Tiamat with can of Spam*
can of sperm? *masturbates*
Jesus, can we PLEASE find a way to block this cretin?
Maybe Jesus can help?
*Heavenly chorus sings Hallelujah*
*Masturbates Jesus!*
Yeesh! They’re everywhere! The trolls are everywhere!
*throws dart, misses*
NO!
*throws another dart, dart hits mr sausage*
YES, yes, in the head!
*grows new head* you’re nothing without me, shadow!!
TOTALLY missed the reference…
In Soviet Russia, joke inserts you!
Your cat couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel.
“I’m a unitard!”
no, you are retard
simpsons reference win!
lexical and semantic fail!
who put kittehs in teh gravy? I has a sad…
Once you have kitten, you never go back.
I love kittens, but I can never eat a whole one.
ROFL TOOL
The head is the best part…
Mmmm… kitten head…
I like the stomach as well, especially if the kitten just ate. Scrumdiddlyumcious!!!
ZOMG NO WAI!
Quick question for anyone who might know…….I submitted a video on Friday, how long does it take to post, and how do I know if I even get chosen?
FAILBLOG FAIL WIN
winblog win fail
Winblog win fail WIN! *self fails*
Did you submit it by post?
I used the email at the top of the page like it says to
well first it gets put on the voting page and the pics/vids that get voted themost go on the hompage
where is this voting page? aparently there is more to failblog than I realised
where it says ‘vote’ at the top of the page, perhaps.
STFU, bad eyesight. I thought I loved you loz….*sheds a tear*
I was only trying to help you out! You know our love runs deeper than this.
…Coming soon to a theatre near you- A tear-rendering film about two Failbloggers in love.
Do they find out they were separated at birth? Does one of them turn evil and the other turns blind?
even better – the second one turns out to be a horse testicle.
It’s not about you…
wow, that was brilliant!
Yes…yes it was.
*cuddles Tiamat*
Can I join in the group hug?
*Looks imploringly*
*cuddles Dragon*
First of all, bond, it’s not a hug; it’s a cuddle. Cuddles and hugs a different…by a long shot. Learn the difference and maybe THEN you can come to the cuddle party.
*Sticks penis in the cuddle*
Jeezus effing christ…another one.
Jurgen, why don’t you and mr. phallic symbol go and play with each other until you can learn how to play with people who are not developmentally challenged.
Lol Dragon…
*cuddles*
You poor thing…
Don’t be too hard on Jurgen now, he just hasn’t been able to
figure out what else 2 inch nubbin is good for.
I know it was good enough to concieve you!.
Jeezus effing christ…another one.
Jurgen, why don’t you and mr. phallic symbol go and play with each other until you can learn how to play with people who are not developmentally challenged.
—–
Hahahahahaha….the irony in that is killing me. Hahahahahaha.
“the irony in that is killing me.”
We can only hope.
hope fail
Thats not cat food It’s chinese take out!
Sound the stereotype alarm!
*AWOOOOOOOGAH! AWOOOOOOOGAH!*
*SWAT burst in*
PETE, you are under arrest!
That was H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S.
I can haz kittens in gravy!
Has anyone else never seen rabbit-flavored cat food before? And why is there no mouse-flavored cat food?
Why isn’t there cat flavoured (note correct spelling) dog food?
The American spelling is just as correct, Bond
Loz, I have just concured with you. Being in London so long makes my spelling very British indeed, what? Jolly good, old fruit.
You make me glad I don’t live in England
Too true. Ol’ BoJo is trying is best to down knife crime. but it’s too much for the poor sod. I personally want to throw Gordie Broon off Big Ben, if only it were legal.
Did you see BoJo’s hilariously embarrassing part in the olympics closing ceremony? *facepalm*
Yep. I think the London Olympics on the whole is an embarassment to the British public.
will be*
agreed. *braces self*
Well, the Brits sure did well this last time out. Must have been occupying all the tellies over there for the whole 2 weeks. In the US we get stuck with all the pathetic American sob stories. That and Michael Phelps this and Michael Phelps that. I was longing for the British version ala Sebastian Coe.
“In the US we get stuck with all the pathetic American sob stories. That and Michael Phelps this and Michael Phelps that”
.
No shit. If a particular sport didn’t have an American angle to it,
no broadcast.
But what if it had an American angel to it?
They would just have to wing it.
Stop harping on it, already.
Welcome to heaven, here’s your harp.
Welcome to hell, here’s your accordion.
There is nothing hellish about Zydeco.
But there is MUCH that is hellish about Gary Larson.
Hmm, we had a fair amount of crap about Michael Phelps here too.
Didn’t actually see Seb Coe on tv once! Beckham did us proud though…
Those last words have probably not been spoken for several years.
Whiskas now markets to Chinese people? O.o
Alright, Ashley, you’re getting in the police van with PETE.
Eep… O.o;
Here’s your dead lolcat. Now let’s all get over it. *laughs out loud then starts crying, mourning the death of kitty*
There, there. You can haz cheezeburger
*Clobbered by policemen*
Oof!
*Taken away by Loz*
*magically switches places with BondFan.
So I can be with Loz of course.*
Oooh, is someone flirting? Tiamat’s got a cru-ush, Tiamat’s got a cru-ush
*Chants childishly*
Loz is my long lost twin. Duh!
Incest? Pls? *looks sheepish*
Why does everyone think that’s what I mean now? -.- You’re like, me in a female body. Why wouldn’t I want to meet you?
So you can screw yourself. Analy of course.
How about you analy-ze your post for your mistake?
Win.
Haven’t you always wanted to shag yourself? I thought everyone had that fantasy…
Just my luck I’d get an STD.
*chuckle!*
I’m too sexy to bang myself, I have to let somebody in on the fun
. Otherwise it’s just not fair 
That is very thoughtful of you, Shadow.
I try
DO…or do not. There is no try!
“Lambert, the sheepish lion. Lambert, there’s no denyin’.”
Fine then. I DO try.
Happy now, Yodawriter?
So long as some of us continue the effort of self-banging, the world will continue to improve.
I think they organized a benifit for that once – Stand Tall and Don’t Stop!
(Support STDS!)
Nobody got my reference? *cries*
Now now, there’s no crying on failblog.
Only masturbating…and screwing your self.
Soylent Whiskas is made out of Kittens!
The best thing for a kitten: smother the effer in gravy.
“Kitten in Gravy”…sounds sexual…
I certainly don’t want to link to your favorite websites then.
You must not have a dirty mind. Mine stretches far and wide, turning even the cleanest thoughts or sayings into sex jokes.
You’re not alone. Trust me – I add “in bed” to the end of my fortune cookies.
It’s even better if you add “except in bed” to them
Im reminded of Scrubs: “I’ll In YOUR Endo!”
And if you dont get it, think about it for a while, it’ll set in!
I got that before I even read it, mate…
*obligatory “Get it” joke here*
No one has said anything about the number being wrong?
That’s because it’s not. There’s two things of 12 that each of 3 of each flavor.
thats makes no sense
theres 2 sub boxes each containing 3 of each of the 4 flavours
2×3x4=24
better?
HAHAHA!
I just posted that on PETA’s myspace comments
EWwwwwwwwwwwwwwWWWHH~~~!!! xDDDDDDDD
omg those evil cat in gravy eating jerks thats not nice …. buuuuut the duck sounds kinda good
I sometimes work in a supermarket during my time off from Uni. They also do Kitten in Chunks and bottled Kitten milk. I had noticed the bad naming before but just thought it was me being very bored.
p.s. how does one milk a kitten ?
guess its an author fail, 8 * 3 is 24 i thought at least
Dig deep, kitty in bottom.
Next, they need to add 3x with Kitten. Not enough kitten flavour in this one.
photoshop