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Cheezburger Network Blog
*masturbates*
*discharges*
honorably?
Humor fail.
only bankers can have fun on that piece of shit! lolol
erm… now dat’s one nice seesaw… so how does one rock this thingamagig?
Cambridge Savings Bank. Where smart people put their money.
FIRST!!
dude you FAILED at beeing first!
*slaps damnedgamer several times across the face*
It’s spelled “being”
Hey, maybe gamer thought this person was trying to ‘bee’ before everybody else does it.
Bowchikabowwow *wink wink*
Bom-Chicka-Wah-Wah-FAIL
Somehow, somewhere, someguy fail…
hahahah!!!copy-and-pasting fail. Being humble fail.
i think humility reordered the words on purpose, someguy fail keeps the object near the verb… or is it the subject? hell, i almost didn’t graduate high school thanks to english… but i agree with the being humble fail, that’s a given, everybody knows i am the most humble.
ah. i see…i saw too late. FUNNY myspace page. I didn;t know pictures led to other sites. How can i make my amazing name a link? (fav is “how old am I?)
If you look ate the sign on the bench the bottom line has 5 words… The enlarged sign has 3.
At! Argh.
that’s just aliasing, they are the same
Ha. Do you think the engraver did it for a laugh?
Maybe the see-saw is behind it? Invisible?
No no. It originally had a central pivot but Health and Safety mandated that the moving parts needed securing.
Whats the fail here, fellows?
a seesaw is -> http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/df/Seesaw-aa.jpg
this… is a bench
you cant seesaw a bench!
In Soviet Russia, bench seesaws you!
No… Just… No…
In Soviet Russia, the benches were benches.
Now the CHAIRS on the other hand…
You mean in Soviet Iran I hope…
In Soviet Georgia, fire ceases you.
In Soviet Iran, energy nuclears you!
I see you saw the bench.
…I kind of seesaw that coming…
We must cease this back and forth – it’s really an old saw, anyhow.
cease-saw
seesaw |ˈsēˌsô| (also see-saw)
noun
a long plank balanced in the middle on a fixed support, on each end of which children sit and swing up and down by pushing the ground alternately with their feet.
I believe you Yanks refer to the gentle seesaw with the rather vulgar “teeter-totter”. How uncouth.
You’re joking.
Afraid not. We use both terms.
But…but…at least WE don’t call…um…
*frantically wracks brain*
Ah! At least WE don’t call an umbrella a “bumbershoot”!
:p
Neener.
Haha, bumbershoot, can’t say I’ve heard that one.
The only one I know is ‘umbradoodle’
‘Bumbershoot’ sounds like an expression of disgruntlement haha.
Sweetie, if your haha is disgruntled, I don’t think I’m the one to talk to about it.
Was that supposed to be some sort of innuendo? *raises eyebrow*
Of course not. Perish the thought! I just meant you should speak to your gardener.
What about a brolly?
so who does call them bumbershoots? not us
No idea. Sounds to me like a word from the deep south of the US.
Not from the deep south (US), it is british originally. Entymology is “bumber” derived from “umbre(lla)” and “shoot” a derivitive of “chute” from parachute…which, incidentally, is similar to the French word for umbrella, “parapluie”.
Ooh, thanks for clearing that up.
etymology*
*blushes*
thanks:)
You’re cute when you blush.
and to think I majored in English in college…
*hits self with halibut borrowed from SaraJ*
spell check and wikipedia shall be my gods from this day hence…
Wikipedia? That’s like blasphemy!
yes, but it is instant, humorous, easily accessable blasphemy…
accessible*
Your case is weakening!
It is comeing to an end can you hear it!!
coming*
*buggyness
lol … entymology is “bumble” derived from “bees”
Or how about plimsoll?
…a plimsoll is a type of shoe…
I don’t see where you’re going with this.
Was responding to Dragonwriter (see above) re: weird Britishisms. That’s always been one of the strangest British word I’ve come across in my many and varied travels. I mean – why not call it a sneaker?
cos its a trainer
Oh I thought you were referring to the umbrella discussion.
A plimsoll is not the same as a sneaker. It’s a specific type of ’sneaker’, usually used by kids in primary school for P.E. lessons.
We call ’sneakers’ trainers.
Not so strange anymore huh?
M: I want to complain.
C: You want to complain! Look at these shoes. I’ve only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through.
M: No, I want to complain about…
C: If you complain nothing happens, you might as well not bother.
M: Oh!
C: Oh my back hurts, it’s not a very fine day and I’m sick and tired of this office.
_____
Monty Python, “The Argument Sketch”
At least he didn’t say “Look at these plimsolls.”
But why call it a sneaker? What does that really mean? To me it will always be a “tennis shoe”. Short, simple and unambigious…shit, now I’ve done it. Gone and misspelled a word…now no one will read my post, they will be too busy correcting my grammar…shit, did I misspell that too? Shitdamnfuck…and to think I was an English major in college too…Oh, god, prepositional phrases at the end of sentances…I should just quit now…back out gracefully…sorry to have offended anyone, please don’t hate me.
See, that’s why I hate English classes. If the English majors have
such a hard time with the subject, why force it upon the rest of us?
why call it a “sneaker” where does it do its sneaking? How sneaky is it? Or for that matter, for what is it “training”?
*shrug*, you wear them when training. Similar to the words ‘runners’ and ‘joggers’.
One could argue ’sneakers’ are good for… sneaking up on people?…
thass a you ‘neak argument
It’s the only conclusion I could come to!
*borrows TMI’s hat*
“Sneaker” was a word that was first used in the Renaissance
in England. Eventually, rubber-soled shoes were called “sneakers” because they were noiseless
So I was RIGHT!
You look hot in TMI’s hat. Especially with that blazer on
Oh, hi Shad…
Ooooh…
it’s a perfectly argued conclusion. I just never understood the terminology behind the different variations… What we call them makes just as much (non) sense as what everyone else calls them. *shrugs* I just like to argue for arguement’s sake. (and yes, I left that possessive on purpose, Arguement is one of my closest friends
)
and yes that is how she spells her name…
Haha, annabellie, what happened to that spell-check you mentioned?
And why wouldn’t it be possessive?
I am not entirely sure why not. Maybe I was over analyzing my postings in an attempt to dodge the grammar nazis. I am afraid I am not blonde or grammatical enough for them to spare me.
*nor
You’ll have to present your individual case to the Grammar Committee for consideration.
(‘Or’ was acceptable in that case
)
Where is it they meet? I will begin to prepare my case immediately.
Nine o’clock pm on PBS!
it’s too late…I have been seized already. Tried, convicted and sentenced to a lifetime of association with the idiots on ICHC…
*hangs head in shame*
*walks off slowly, hoping someone liked me despite my bad grammar and poor spell check abilities*
We will forever remember you, annabellie. The one who could have been…
Oh, get back here, you…!
*hugs annabellie*
Don’t let Loz scare you off. She’ll correct you all the time, sometimes even correcting you for things that aren’t actually wrong, but she’s a good ‘un and she wouldn’t be giving you such a hard time if she didn’t like you.
Now…go fourth and be punny!
Teehee, it’s all in good humour and she knows it.
*grabs annabellie and smooches her*
Oooh…where’s Shadow? I feel like some popcorn…
Thank you
*walks off confidently, ready to drive her kids around and go to the grocery store, sure that, when she gets back she will be welcomed with, if not open arms, than at least open minds*
*grab’s Loz’s hand and wrenches the red pen out of it*
Just give her that one…okay? Let’s just enjoy this beautiful moment.
*borrows Loz’s red pen*
*crosses out superfluous apostrophe*
*gives red pen back*
*crawls under rock and dies*
I lol’d, oh how I lol’d!
Thanks, I do like this red pen.
Is there room under the rock for me? It is a very nice pen.
*prises the rock up with The Pen*
Dragon will make you some popcorn.
There you go
I have never felt so loved and accepted in my life. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
*tries popcorn*
*finds popcorn very tasty*
*wonders if anyone knows this is my first time…*
*participating and being accepted that is, with multiple children, it is hopefully obviously not my “first” time…shit, never mind. Multiple ramblings in progress. will shut up now and settle back for the rest of the day to watch BondFan get his ass handed to him.*
♬ My popcorn brings all the girls to the rock… ♬
You realize “your popcorn” is just my popcorn that you stole? And that I demand sharing rights to it?
Dammit. I was hoping I’d slip that one by you…
Mark my words, Dragon, nothing slips by me
That was just a slip of the tongue, my friend…
Careful… you’re headed down a slippery slope there
Hey…that’s the best place for a Slip ‘n Slide!!
Oh, we’re talking about sliding, now, eh?
Hmm…hold on a sec…
*flips through reference book, looking for the slide rule*
5 dollar footlong XD
*ahem*… moment of immaturity there, you may not have even gotten it unless you’ve seen the commercials…
shutup your pretentious bastard.
I tried, but he just keeps on talking.
here you can borrow this gag if you like
Mine too. You can never be too careful.
yeah but mine’s better
I think the name says it all.
oh how cute Gorman… you have fans!
no, we call it an upitydownityboard. wtf is seesaw supposed to mean anyway?
seesaw
1640, in see-saw-sacke a downe, words in a rhythmic jingle used by children and repetitive motion workers, probably imitative of the rhythmic back-and-forth motion of sawyers working a two-man saw over wood or stone (see saw). Ref. to a game of going up and down on a balanced plank is recorded from 1704; fig. sense is from 1714. Applied from 1824 to the plank arranged for the game. The verb is from 1712.
imbeded pun in dictionary definition *win*
imbedded*
You are quite the google-win though!
from etymonline.com:
___
seesaw: 1640, in see-saw-sacke a downe, words in a rhythmic jingle used by children and repetitive motion workers, probably imitative of the rhythmic back-and-forth motion of sawyers working a two-man saw over wood or stone. Ref. to a game of going up and down on a balanced plank is recorded from 1704; fig. sense is from 1714. Applied from 1824 to the plank arranged for the game. The verb is from 1712.
.
teeter: 1843, “to seesaw,” alteration of M.E. titter “move unsteadily,” … related to Ger. zittern “to tremble.” Noun teeter-totter “see-saw” is attested from 1905.
late O.E. læt “occurring after the customary or expected time,” originally “slow, sluggish,” from P.Gmc. *latas (cf. O.N. latr “sluggish, lazy,” M.Du., O.S. lat, Ger. laß “idle, weary,” Goth. lats “weary, sluggish, lazy,” latjan “to hinder”), from PIE base *lad- “slow, weary” (cf. L. lassus “faint, weary, languid, exhausted,” Gk. ledein “to be weary”).
You put far too much research effort into failblog, Fuzz-san.
I so totally beg to differ.
RESEARCH = HAWT!!!
subtle burn win, touche (with the little accent mark)
This yank here has never referred to the see-saw as a teeter-totter. I am in the middle of the US, teetering
on the border of Missouri and Illinois. What do people call it elsewhere in the US>
We call them park benches here in Cambridge, Mass.
Dual citizen (US/UK) says: varies by region. (E.g., everyone I know says seesaw.)
3rd!
seesaw
noun
a long plank balanced in the middle on a fixed support, on each end of which children sit and swing up and down by pushing the ground alternately with their feet.
hey im from germany. whats a seesaw? lolkthxbai
Check my website.
http://images.google.be/images?hl=nl&q=seesaw&btnG=Afbeeldingen+zoeken&gbv=2
google.de
And probably somewhere nearby there’s a seesaw with a plaque saying “bench donated by xyz”.
seesaw = Wippe
Well, I feel dumb for not visiting dict.cc and just look it up myself
As I said yesterday…
Guy + research = hawt.
Erm…assuming you are a guy. I’m sure the same goes for women, though, for those who tilt that way.
All depends what they’re researching…
As a guy, I can confirm that the equation x + research = hawt may be solved by substituting the word girl for the quantity x.
That can be simplified to girl = hawt.
read the comment above yours
Lolcatinemia strikes again! Someone get my boom-stick! *Takes aim* *Fires*
it a chair
seesaw is 2 person sitting on oppsite side
it like a weighting thing
where one heavier go down lighter go up
Yes. You right. It not weighting thing. it chair. Good you. Good job you. You is good job right. Yes is right good. Thank you. Thanks is you. You is good thanks.
eine Wippe
♫ Wippe it
Wippe it good! ♫
Score one for a British Fail!
Finally, the British have learnt to fail.
‘Fraid not – Cambridge Savings Bank is in Cambridge MA in the US – we have a Cambridge Building Society, but no Cambridge Savings Bank AFAIK…
that’s just brilliant
we is unfailable!!!
And he trips at the finish line!
“We ARE unfailable” I think you mean.
Besides, remember that guy some fifty fails back or so who kicked through a concrete sound barrier and got his leg snapped in two?
Erm, I think you missed dolt’s irony.
Not to mention that unfailable isn’t even a word.
Correction fail.
thank you
Damn it internet, your lack of subtle social cues has failed me again.
Or rather, made me fail again.
As for unfailable, is it a word when someone decides to put it into a dictionary, or is it a word when I use it to communicate and you interpret its meaning? I’ve never understood why people get so flustered over words that are supposedly not real when ALL words started out as something someone made up.
And Dolt used it first =P
He broke the sound barrier? He must’ve kicked that wall very fast.
Yeah, you should have seen it. There was blood EVERYWHERE.
Is his next goal to break the light barrier?
If he succeeds, we’ll no doubt hear about it yesterday.
i lol’d at that one. Apparently concrete blocks are STILL in the realm of gravity. Maybe if his karate-master arms were long enough, he could have broken the blocks that shattered his tibia. I would have laughed if i were driving by. Mile marker…mile marker… bloody leg sticking out… mile marker… WHAT??!?!?!?!?
Actually, I’m pretty sure it’s Cambridge Savings Bank of Cambridge, MA
Please. The British learnt to fail when they invented toast racks.
Honestly. How is it you guys can eat that cold, leathery toast??
…because the Americans know all about eating right don’t they!
ha! reply win!
But seriously, we don’t eat well, but at least our food has FLAVOR.
And is hot when it needs to be.
Umm…yeah. How is hot toast “eating wrong” and cold toast “eating right”?
I do believe that is a complete and utter logic FAIL.
Excellent example of a straw man argument, though, D’anus.
By ‘eating right’ I don’t think he was specifically referring to hot toast…
My point exactly.
Some like it hot
Some like it cold
I actually prefer my toast cold – and I’m a yank. But I DID used to live in GB. Does that count?
Too much flavour, actually. You guys put way too much spices and sugar on everything.
but you can never put too much goodnplenty on you
At least we don’t put to much fat and grease on our food.
Um… dripping on toast, anyone?
*vomits*
if you can call ‘extra cheese’ flavoUr
Yes, you can call ‘extra cheese’ flavor. It tastes like cheese.
personaly i always eat toast hot and the only places you can find said toast racks are in hotels
seconded.
thirded
*snork*
Every house I’ve ever visited in England has had a toast rack. I’m glad, however, that my fellow Failbloggers across the pond do not fail in said toasty goodness capacity!
Were those houses a “Bed and Breakfast” by any chance?
*chuckle*
No. Just friends’ houses.
Ah but England is not representative of the whole of Britain.
And cold toast is considerably healthier than the breakfasts I experienced in the US. *says no more for fear of starting a pond-war*
Although I personally don’t mind cold toast. You know me, Dragon, I can take it either way
*hugs Loz*
I didn’t say it was unhealthy. I said it was yucky.*
And I’m not going to argue with you about American eating habits…you’re absolutely right. For the most part, they’re not so grate, ackshully!
*(cold toast, not going both ways!
)
Ah well, there’s no accounting for taste!
You’ve made me want cold toast now. I just wouldn’t have the patience to sit and wait for it to cool.
Apropos of very little…
This conversation was in my mind as I was at the supermarket just a little while ago, and I had to wonder what the prevailing response would be from our non-American friends here to this product I saw:
It was a jar of pasta sauce (with about 46% of your daily allowance of sodium per serving) that proudly proclaimed: Flavored with MEAT!
*inserts obligatory “gagging” on the “meat” joke*
Wow! Flavoured! *is impressed*
Although something tells me it would be hard to taste the ‘meat’ through all that salt.
And not quite related to your comment, I once saw a can of pasta in the supermarket labeled:
Campbell’s Shnookums & Meat*.
*contains no meat
:inserts obligatory that meat was forking delicious joke:
so meat is just small flavoring and not one of the main ingredients
excuse my (probably awful) spelling
Isn’t cold toast – just bread?
no cold toast has been toasted and allowed to cool so it is not as soft as bread
My toaster is fulcrums.
Very nice — especially for a seesaw discussion!
Can we assume your seesaw is well-balanced and well-grained?
It only toasts one slice of bread at a time. I have to wait for one slice to pop up before the other slice goes down.
You should probably clean it out, then!
I should. It only takes a moment.
my toast is full of crumbs of bread
My Newtons are full of calories.
(That one is a real joule, if I may say so myself.)
I’m British, as you cal probably tell. And I have no idea what a toast rack is.
Let me guess;
It’s a rack for toast?
I’ve never heard of it, nor have I seen it.
have you ever been to a hotel? they have these metal things with lots of slots in for storing triangle peices of toast
Searching, this would appear to be Cambridge, MA, USA, not Cambridge, Cambridgeshire, UK. As there’s a Cambridge Savings Bank in the US, but not the UK.
Of course, Britain is far, far from immune to fail.
We’ve been failing LONG before the U.S. existed
We’re catching up with you though. We’re a country still in its adolescence, and /everyone/ remembers how much fail their adolescence was.
I see a fail. I saw a fail.
Do I hear drums?
Nope, that’s just you.
The Sound of Drums…Is that you, Harold Saxon?
whoa i didn’t know you could fit in watching an episode of doctor who what with all your interneting and watching of bond films.
this comment would have been better coming from ReTARDIS
Yes, surprising, isn’t it. I’m a very recent Doctor Who fan, but quite an old Bond fan. I actually rarely watch 007 films now. Mostly Dr. Who usually.
*dreamy sigh*
sorry, someone said Doctor Who….
At least it isn’t accident prone.
I can guarantee someone is going to say something about this being photoshopped in the near-ish future.
If you can predict the future, why not use it to come up with a wittier comment.
dammit, seeing how it could easily be faked i was suppised no-one has cried “shopped” yet. but now you have guaranteed that somone will reply to your comment saying “shopped”
Photosh- *gets mauled by a bear*
Wait – was that bear photoshopped?
Yes. It’s like the Boy Who Cried Wolf. You try to tell everyone that the bear mauling you is photoshopped, but nobody believes you.
Not ’shopped very well, either. The enlarged plaque superimposed in the lower right portion of the picture kinda gives it away.
Lame – This bench is obviously at a park/playground, and the see-saw is probably right outside the frame.
but why don’t they just put the sign on the seesaw then?
You tw4t! Why would they put a plaque for a seesaw on a bench beside the seesaw and not the seesaw itself?!
You know, it would’nt surprise if it was you or one of your family members that did this engraving! Lame dumbass.
I’ve seen it done. I’ve also seen plaques commemorating the gift of a planted tree affixed to a rock.
Well, take a pic of it and send it on in!
exactly – this park is a few blocks from my house… hardly failworthy!
hey that is at my local park in arlington ma… call me weird for recognizing park benches????
Okay, nice to meet you weird for recognizing park benches????. I’m BondFan.
hahahahahah.
I’m Ron Burgundy?
And I’m Dermot Murhnaghan, Sky News.
Waitaminute…
Dermot Murnaghan does sky news? He went to my old school
Wait, you’re Japanese. How do you know of the big DM?
I’m in London right now. And I wasn’t surprised Natasha Kaplinsky AND Dermot defected to other channels. Mark my words, Channel 5 is the crouching tiger of British TV.
*News at 10 theme*
*Big Ben rings*
Good evening, I’m Trevor McDonald.
*Big Ben again*
Ah I see. Channel 5 is the scummiest channel, I don’t know anyone who actually watches it
Just want to give him a big bear hug.
<3 Trevor though
*Big Ben rings*
Our top story tonight: Loz wants to give Trevor McDonald a bear hu-hold the phone…
Not to worry. That’s perfectly normal after sleeping on them for years.
Oooh…That is one fiesty burn.
The bench is not a see saw, it is a series of tubes!
Sorry, I had to.
I see saw you, saucy.
*gets a frozen trout ready*
SOLE-D!
Fuzz: *ducks*
Sara: Curses, FOWLED again!
*sings her swan song in the fight against such a ducky character*
*guesses it’s over now — the round lady has sung*
Chicken. Don’t sit there quailing in fear like a king in facing pheasant revolt.
*facepalm*
I’m just going to take my bukkit of pudding and exit stage left…
…all the way to Kiev…
Is this chocolate pudding, or butterscotch?
*eyes bukkit hungrily*
*says nothing about nesting breasts*
“Help! I’m being repressed!”
“Bloody pheasant.”
Monty Python quote + twisting it to our amusement = WIN!
Ride, ride my see-saw
Take this place, on this trip, just for me
Ride, take a free ride
Take my place, have my seat, it’s for free
Moody Blues win !!!
i just realised somthing …. i havent seen tycbob for wekks!!! hurah!!! whoever drove him away is a hero!!!
i loathed tycobob and his xenophobic ways!!!
Huzzah! lets burn an effigy of him!
Oh wait…
Seesaw for old people win?
Actually, there’s another bench just like this one on the other side of the park. When you sit down on this one, that one goes up in the air.
You win again fuzz.
See-motherfucking-saw !
Watch your f*cking mouth. How rude can you f*cking be?
Kenny, you’re watching your mother doing WHAT to a SAW??????? (OUCH!!) Why are you spying on her??? you aren’t masturbating to it are you?
I don’t want to see Saw. Those sorts of movies just pander to the puerile sado-voyeuristic impulse that is one of the worst characteristics of humanity!
I love them!
hhahahahahah. sad voyages to Puertorico?? i like trips, but not sad trips. just happy ones!!!
Rickson by armbar!!!
I think it actually IS a seesaw in that new “make everything hyper-safe for kids” kinda way of American thinking. It is also a swing, a slide, and a merry-go-round.
Fun time fail!
Selection of Sarah Palin? Epic fail!
Rather old news? Epic fail!
Give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it, and I shall remove the trolls.
an admirable Archimedean comedian
BANK FAILURE !!!
and the winner is…
http://googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=see-saw&word2=teeter-totter
Does no one see that sawdust-covered patch of ground off to the right? That’s probably where the seesaw is. This is not a fail.
I believe user J. mentioned this already above
(but let us not spoil the on-going debate on the definition of “sea saw”)
Ray C. sees seesaw sawdust.
Fhqwhgad spoils “see saw” by the sea.
That’s what she says is where she sells
Sea shells by the seesaw’s shore.
When Julius sees her, he has a seizure,
And says, “I see, I saw, I seized.”
Then falls Caesar
… but you brutes saw that, too, I’m sure.
“seesaw” doH
That is a bench, not a seesaw. Object identification FAIL.
I think it’s a seesaw for people who get motion sickness easily.
This is what some of us like to call a phailsaw.
Seesaws are fun.
http://www.todayandtomorrow.net/2008/09/22/seesaw-bench/
Hey, bank = bench in Dutch, so back off. To some people this is actually like, life changing… or something.
I dunno, I live in Holland and I haven’t smoked weed for months now, what a waste of resources and possibilities… innit ? ;-P
wow_zurz
So, is the seesaw over to the right of the bench, where all the wood shavings are?
This is photoshopped. The words don’t match.
i would just like to say,Yo mommas so dumb she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say go!
Yo mama so dumb she stared at da orange juice bottle cause it said concentrate
Your momma is so fat that when she stepped on the scale it said one at a time please.
Yo mammas so fat you could slap her legs and ride the waves
Yo mama so dumb she sold her car for gas money
Yo Mama’s so fat, she got baptized at Sea World.
You’re mom’s so stupid, she got locked up in a super market and starved
Yo Momma is so fat she walked out in high heels and came back in flip flops.
Yo’ Momma’s So Fat When her beeper goes off, people think she’s backing up.
Yo mama’s so fat when she ordered a water bed they layed a blanket on the Pacific Ocean
Yo mamma’s like a shotgun, one cock and she blows.
Yo mama so dumb that when I said “christmas is just around the corner” she went looking for it!
Yo Mamma’s so fat it takes two busses and a train to get on her good side.
Your mom is so stupid, I said it’s chilly outside, your mom ran outside wit a bowl and a spoon and asked where??
Yo Momma so fat she stepped on da scale and and it said to be continued…
Yo Mama’s so poor, when I was asking why she was banging on the dumpster she said, “My kids locked me out.”
Yo Momma so dumb when she saw a bus with white people in it she said, “Go catch that twinky.”
Yo mommas so fat, she has to use a matress for a tampon.
Yo mamma’s so stupid, she jumped off a boat and missed the water.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she stepped on the dog’s tail we had to change his name to Beaver.
Yo momma’s so fat that when she goes outside in her yellow jacket people say “Look it’s the magic school bus!!!”
Yo Mamma so fat that when the school bus drives by she yells STOP THAT TWINKIE!
Yo Mama so fat she went into a zoo and a zookeeper said, “Oh boy…another elephant got out!”
Yo mamma so stupid, it took her two hours to watch 60 minutes
Yo mamma is like a brick, flat on both sides and gets laid by mexicans!
Yo mama’s so fat that when she went to wal-mart she tripped over k-mart and hit target!!!!:-D
Yo momma is so fat, she stepped on a dollar and made change.
Yo mama’s so poor when I saw her kickin’ a can down the street, I asked her what was she doing and she said she was movin’
Your mammas so stupid she got locked in mattress store and slept on the floor.
Yo mama so fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles came out….
Your mama is so fat she jumped in to the ocean and the whales stated to sing we are family.
Yo mama’s so fat she has her own zipcode
Yo Momma is like a doornob, everyone gets a turn.
Yo mamma’s so fat she fell in love and broke it
Yo Mama’s so fat, when she stepped onto the scale it said “to infinity and beyond!”
Yo Momma so fat, when she went to swim in the ocean she said “Oops I’m in the kiddy pool!”
I thought you were ugly … and then I met your mama
Yo Mamma is like a hockey playa, she doesnt changer her pads for 3 periods!
Yo Momma’s so ugly on Halloween, people go as her.
Yo momma’s so fat that when she jumped for joy she got stuck!
Yo Momma is so fat that her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
Yo’ mama so fat, she has to make a long distance call to talk to herself!
Yo Momma so fat her tanning bed was Mexico!
Your momma is so retarded she got stabbed in a shootout.
Yo momma’s so fat, she walked in front of the t.v and I missed a whole series of friends!
Yo momma is so fat, she’s taller sideways.
Yo Mamma so stupid that she went to Dr. Dre for liposuction.
Yo Momma so dumb, she sat on the TV to watch the couch
Yo momma’s so fat, she uses the pacific ocean to take a bath.
I’m not here… but yo mama is
Yo Momma’s so horny, when she found out Winnie the Pooh had no pants, she a got a boner.
Yo momma so greasy they hired her at the cinima to put the butter on the popcorn!
Yo Momma so stupid her favorite color is clear.
Yo mamas so fat that at the circus she nicknamed the elephant pee wee.
Your momma’s so fat that when she fell in the forest, the loggers said “TIMBER”!
Your momma is so fat that when she sweats she can be used as a steam roller.
Your momma’s so fat she has to use the ocean as her toilet! Hey!! they made a song about your weight 8675309
Can fat people go skinny dipping?
At fat camp, the guys have bigger boobs
Bored as a fat person without food
Fat people are harder to kidnap
Never under estimate fat people in large groups
Dear Lord,
If you can’t make me SKINNY, Please make my friends FAT!
I would probably cry too, if I had a stomach the size of the ocean blue!
Only in America are “poor” people fat.
One day a woman asked her daughter to go get some jellyrolls. The girl went to the bakery and ordered all of the jellyrolls that the bakery had. Then she stuffed them all in her mouth and swallowed. When she got home her mom asked where the jellyrolls were. The girl lifts up her shirt and says here, these are the jelly rolls.