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Surrealism WIN
THE PAIN! PENIS STUCK! THE PAIN!
Sounds like a party to me.
what a touching invitation
Lol’d.
OK, the penis is stuck… but why the “don’t touch”?????
Well… If you really want to.
It’s not “penis is stuck”, it’s “Penis Stuck”. It’s a warning. After the “incident” all the office equipment got notes like this.
For the love of GOD do not hit send!!
pressing send
oh nice. If i forgot a sentence from the presentation, it’s printed on my dick.
You that’s bad? try getting drunk and inserting it into a bottle. Now THAT hurts when it gets stuck.
…… and you know of this HOW?
Methinks Roob lacks a think. In more ways than one.
ooo that’s bad
the phrase ’special child’ comes to mind.
Roobarb and I do not like the term “special child”. We prefer the term “fucking retarded”.
I like fucktard, personally.
yeh, I was sorta pissed at the time.
so you’re right, i lack a lot of think.
0_o
*masturbates furiously*
and, according to the laws of internet fetish propagation, there are now 12 websites dedicated to getting drunk and inserting it into a bottle.
Coincidentally, your mother said the same thing last night.
thats got to be painful. maybe he was trying to use a printer to tattoo?
I hate when my pen gets stuck.
Really? I like it!
Looks like they’re serious.
:[
Appears somebody touched a donut wrong.
But it’s amazing how a donut just so happens to fit around a wang! It’s like they use people with hard-ons to make the holes in the first place.
Roobarb pie said: “But it’s amazing how a donut just so happens to fit around a wang!
[Insert Horrible Visualization: Roobarb pie vainly trying to fit MORE than ONE
Donut upon his wang.]
Roobarb pie said: “It’s like they use people with hard-ons to make the holes in the first place.”
[Insert Disturbing Thought: Cream Filled / Covered Donuts]
Note to self: No more “handmade” bakery products.
You’ve got a glazed over look, Tom. Look over those half-baked visualizations before you hand ‘em over to us.
On second thought…donut hand them over at all, plz. Kthxbai.
It’s like talking to a cop “Sir, your eyes are bloodshot, have you been drinking?”
“Officer, you’re eyes are glazed, have you been eating donuts?”
Or “Dan, ‘your’ is mispelled, have you been skipping school?”
Skipping school? Are you kidding? I got out of there 9 years ago! I was trying to type and not be seen by the boss and not thinking correctly on my grammatics. My apologies for the insult to your delicate senses.
Or “Dan, you’re pointing out people’s small errors in thier writing, are you a spelling nazi?”
Sorry, not dan, I meant, Shadow.
Soz, I’ve not slept for three days as part of a bet. I’m fucking shattered.
This was the second time I actually laughed since I discovered FAILBlog, thank you kind sir, however disgusting you may be.
that must be a sad life
…but that’s how a nudist can carry two cups of coffee and a half dozen donuts back to the hotel room
true, i do it when i vacation in Greece.
That’s gonna leave a mark.
That’s what she said?
Nah, he can just claim it’s mayonnaise.
tapioca?
i lol’d, wouldn’t the person notice? XD
‘Nother one of them fancy shmancy detachable penises.
…dressed like Darth Vader…
Princess Labia here…
ans she can only speak Wookie
yes, every single comment I post has gor at least one mistake in it
on purpose?
Should that be, “She can only speak nookie”??
well considering he spelled his own name wrong…
ineverfial… now is that supposed to be i never file, i never fail, or an extremely shortened misspelled version of in every pedophile.
in fact, the name was spelled like that on purpose (it’s supposed to be fail) and the mistake I made in the first comment was the “ans” instead of “and”.it was not nooky/nookie, although that would also make sense and be funny. har har. I am laughing away my fat ass. and here’s the mistake for xou:
There is actually a song called “Detachable Penis”. It is by King Missile.
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It’s detachable.
I saw it there, on a rug.
The guy wanted $20 for it but I talked him down to $15.
This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it’s gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don’t need it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn’t find it.
So I called up the place where the party was, they hadn’t seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet ’cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I hear there was something washed up further down the shore.
People have decorated a little cavern for it, and they bring fruit,
flowers and incense because they think it’s a Virgin Mary with
The Child. Reliable sources tell me though, that it rather looks
like a midsized member with a knobby wart around the midsection.
That be your schlong?
Ok, so I’m not the only person that likes that song. Whew.
Grammar fail: …not the only person WHO likes that schlong.
And no, I bet you’re not.
Well that would give a whole new meaning to:
“No, I don’t know where you’ve been.”
Love is beautiful
Like birds that sing
Love is not ugly
Like rats
In a puddle of vomit
At least then I can LEGITIMATELY ask people if they’ve seen my penis ><
I’d lose it -all- the time XD I can’t even keep track of my shoes
I have one that I paid a fair amount of money for and it stays in my pocket at all times. That is unless I need it for something, but I will never loan it to anyone.