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Surrealism WIN
THE PAIN! PENIS STUCK! THE PAIN!
Sounds like a party to me.
what a touching invitation
Lol’d.
OK, the penis is stuck… but why the “don’t touch”?????
Well… If you really want to.
It’s not “penis is stuck”, it’s “Penis Stuck”. It’s a warning. After the “incident” all the office equipment got notes like this.
For the love of GOD do not hit send!!
pressing send
oh nice. If i forgot a sentence from the presentation, it’s printed on my dick.
its dinted on my prick
You that’s bad? try getting drunk and inserting it into a bottle. Now THAT hurts when it gets stuck.
…… and you know of this HOW?
Methinks Roob lacks a think. In more ways than one.
ooo that’s bad
the phrase ’special child’ comes to mind.
Roobarb and I do not like the term “special child”. We prefer the term “fucking retarded”.
I like fucktard, personally.
yeh, I was sorta pissed at the time.
so you’re right, i lack a lot of think.
0_o
*masturbates furiously*
and, according to the laws of internet fetish propagation, there are now 12 websites dedicated to getting drunk and inserting it into a bottle.
Coincidentally, your mother said the same thing last night.
No, you must mistake…it was YOUR mother
thats got to be painful. maybe he was trying to use a printer to tattoo?
I hate when my pen gets stuck.
Really? I like it!
Looks like they’re serious.
:[
Appears somebody touched a donut wrong.
But it’s amazing how a donut just so happens to fit around a wang! It’s like they use people with hard-ons to make the holes in the first place.
Roobarb pie said: “But it’s amazing how a donut just so happens to fit around a wang!
[Insert Horrible Visualization: Roobarb pie vainly trying to fit MORE than ONE
Donut upon his wang.]
Roobarb pie said: “It’s like they use people with hard-ons to make the holes in the first place.”
[Insert Disturbing Thought: Cream Filled / Covered Donuts]
Note to self: No more “handmade” bakery products.
You’ve got a glazed over look, Tom. Look over those half-baked visualizations before you hand ‘em over to us.
On second thought…donut hand them over at all, plz. Kthxbai.
It’s like talking to a cop “Sir, your eyes are bloodshot, have you been drinking?”
“Officer, you’re eyes are glazed, have you been eating donuts?”
Or “Dan, ‘your’ is mispelled, have you been skipping school?”
Skipping school? Are you kidding? I got out of there 9 years ago! I was trying to type and not be seen by the boss and not thinking correctly on my grammatics. My apologies for the insult to your delicate senses.
Or “Dan, you’re pointing out people’s small errors in thier writing, are you a spelling nazi?”
Sorry, not dan, I meant, Shadow.
Soz, I’ve not slept for three days as part of a bet. I’m fucking shattered.
This was the second time I actually laughed since I discovered FAILBlog, thank you kind sir, however disgusting you may be.
that must be a sad life
…but that’s how a nudist can carry two cups of coffee and a half dozen donuts back to the hotel room
true, i do it when i vacation in Greece.
That’s gonna leave a mark.
That’s what she said?
Nah, he can just claim it’s mayonnaise.
tapioca?
i lol’d, wouldn’t the person notice? XD
‘Nother one of them fancy shmancy detachable penises.
…dressed like Darth Vader…
Princess Labia here…
ans she can only speak Wookie
yes, every single comment I post has gor at least one mistake in it
on purpose?
Should that be, “She can only speak nookie”??
well considering he spelled his own name wrong…
ineverfial… now is that supposed to be i never file, i never fail, or an extremely shortened misspelled version of in every pedophile.
in fact, the name was spelled like that on purpose (it’s supposed to be fail) and the mistake I made in the first comment was the “ans” instead of “and”.it was not nooky/nookie, although that would also make sense and be funny. har har. I am laughing away my fat ass. and here’s the mistake for xou:
There is actually a song called “Detachable Penis”. It is by King Missile.
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It’s detachable.
I saw it there, on a rug.
The guy wanted $20 for it but I talked him down to $15.
This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it’s gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don’t need it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn’t find it.
So I called up the place where the party was, they hadn’t seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet ’cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I hear there was something washed up further down the shore.
People have decorated a little cavern for it, and they bring fruit,
flowers and incense because they think it’s a Virgin Mary with
The Child. Reliable sources tell me though, that it rather looks
like a midsized member with a knobby wart around the midsection.
That be your schlong?
Ok, so I’m not the only person that likes that song. Whew.
Grammar fail: …not the only person WHO likes that schlong.
And no, I bet you’re not.
Well that would give a whole new meaning to:
“No, I don’t know where you’ve been.”
Love is beautiful
Like birds that sing
Love is not ugly
Like rats
In a puddle of vomit
At least then I can LEGITIMATELY ask people if they’ve seen my penis ><
I’d lose it -all- the time XD I can’t even keep track of my shoes
I have one that I paid a fair amount of money for and it stays in my pocket at all times. That is unless I need it for something, but I will never loan it to anyone.
See, if you DON’T have the necessary technical skills, you should NOT be F**king with the copier!
Yes but, SOME of the time sticking a penis into something solves the problem regardless of whether or not you know what you are doing.
Or, it just makes the problem worse.
dont you mean F**king the copier
For some reason I believe that was the joke.
You poke, you pay!
Are we not supposed to touch it because it is sore?
It’s sore because you touch it.
…far too much.
I chuckled at that.
This is a picture from an old email joke that’s been circulating forever. Originality fail.
I’m curious if you are fairly new to failblog.
See, those of us who frequent this blog are well aware of the fact that, on occasion, there will be photoshopped pictures and / or pictures that have been around for a while.
There are also those of us who do not care.
If a “fail” amuses me, I am happy and I laugh. It matters not if the picture is from yesterday or 1949.
More fun than the pictures are the comments. Some are win, some are fail, but either way, some of them (this one excluded) are quite amusing. If you are new please go back a week or two to the fail with the church sign. This one could have gone either way, but due to brilliant work from some of our fellow bloggers, it was one of the best threads ever and was from a picture that had been circulating forever.
No, I am not new. Just making a comment. Thanks for the lecture, and please fuck off.
Well aren’t we just Mr. Crankpants today, get your penis stuck in the copier?
Well, for a lurker you seem to not have learned the flow around here. If you lurked and read, you should have seen the countless times that your comment has been made.
The lecture was my pleasure.
I have a question, due to the absolute clairty of your intelligence level.
Do you have an Uncle with a dog named “Ladybird?”
Wonder what color ink ?
Pearl.
HAHA! I get it.
Not often enough…
FTW
Nope, red.
Dustin appears to prefer rubbies to necklaces.
So the printer is having a pearl jam?
It’s like http://penisland.net
wait a minute, how did you get a link to show up in your comment? I’ve typed in all the html crap before, and EVERY SINGLE TIME, my comment has been rejected. :’-(
It’s the Lawnmower Man, dude.
That has got to be intentional.
That is obviously intentional.
Thanks Dan
Thanks Dan
This double reply has GOT to be intentional.
You sure? It could just be an act of confusion that he couldn’t remember whether or not he had already said it or not?
It’s supposed to read
“Do not
Touch
Pen Is
Stuck”
Really? Oh man, thanks a ton, because you know, after the war I forgot how to read and things… I really thought some guy’s johnson was stuck in the copier… Thanks for clearing that up.
I like how you intentionally spell your name backward.
I peed a little bit. thanks Admiral
You’re welcome Madam. Thanks for contributing to rising ocean levels. Some clowns from the future are trying to lower ocean levels by holding it in.
Well, it’s obviously a Male Printer…
If it was a Female Printer, the note would probably read;
“Do Not Touch Monthly Leak”
More unfunny than your visualizations.
“I’ll take The Penis Mightier for two-hundred, Alex.”
“For $200: Which euphemism is also the nickname (diminutive) of a U.S. President?”
DICK!!! DICK NIXON!!! Do I get a cookie?
I’ll give ya a donot touch for a coupling with your cinnamon rolls.
Well even though that wasn’t what we were looking for the judges have decided that your answer does indeed meet the criteria. And brings to mind a couple of election slogans from that period:
.
“Dick Nixon. Before He Dicks Your”
.
and the ever popular:
.
“Vote Nixon
In ‘72.
Why Change Dicks
in the Middle of a Screw?”
Not only do you get a cookie, but since you came up with an alternate answer you get one of those aforementioned brownies. Once we can get them away from that “dead” cop.
Ooh…my favorite.
Question for all my PhD’s (Pot head Doctorates) out there. If there’s a “special brownie” in my freezer, how long will it be good? Strictly hypothetical question…
I can’t say without seeing it, send it over and I will test it for you.
I had a brownie in my freezer for like 2 years once and it still got me totally baked. I’m not sure if this is always the case, these were some really potent brownies, but yeah, I say go for it.
These ones are really REALLY potent. The last time I ate one of the batch, I was telling my friend the next day “Duuudde…I don’t wanna be high anymore.” I swear I was high for like 2 days.
Hence why they’re still in my freezer.
Didn’t you learn your lesson from the guy who was dead because time was passing really really really slowly?
It’ll be like hell frozen over all over again.
Yes, but what I want to know is DOES IT WORK?
What is raelalt?
A quick recovery many years ago when my first choice (rael – alias I used in the old SF Bay EBBS community) for a name on an online forum was denied as already being in use. So raelalt (rael alt-ernative) was born, and I’ve used it ever since. It is not meant as an anonymous nickname as my true ID can be easily discerned. Now you know more then you every wanted to. (G)
Ever*
Exciting.
Sorry, I don’t do spelling/grammar flames unless it’s for someone that failed in doing one themselves.
Pen is stuck
lighthouse is penis
Kids magic trick is lighthouse.
Status: PENIS STUCK; FRESH REAM NECESSARY
This make the idea of a paper jam almost painful.
*shrugs* He came.
this fails at failing… cmon everyone can write a piece of paper, make a pic of it and submit it…
And yet, somehow I doubt that you could come up with something remotely as funny, even if you were to stage it.
lol
Staged fail fail.
I’ll take “The Penis Mightier” for $200, Trebek.
Penis mightier!
What? None of you have -ever- tried to fix a paper tray jam with your penis, only to get it stuck? >> Seriously, NO one else has done that?
PAPER CUT!
All new method of circumcision.
=instand woman
this is what really happens when you scan your ass on the copier.
it’s the first steps to a robot revolution.
Depends if it’s an ugly penis or not. It may be robot revulsion.
Why is there a pen stuck in a printer?
Because the stapler wouldn’t fit.
Wait. Is there such thing as a non-ugly penis? I THINK NOT.
I’ve seen a few that aren’t ugly.
where is the pen?
Stuck.
Hmm… this just makes you wonder…
*masturbates*
Funny, in the one fail where masturbating in the comments makes sense, there seems to be a shocking lack of it.
“PNS Load Letter…wtf does that mean?”
they need to use spaces a little better. it supposed to be pen is stuck.
Oh…haven’t thought of that. *sighs*
Not even all that uncommon with these crappy LJ1100 series. I’ve seen more then pens get stuck in them (makes you wonder what people actually -do- at their desk. Well, what they do that does not involve a penis).
ahh
the infamous ” pen is” trick.
Used so infrequently yet the consequences can be so funny
My pen is throbbing.
I saw this on Ebaum’s World at least 8 years ago.
Do not touch; pen is stuck
…I’m sure most printers don’t have pens
I’m actually partial to samsung’s line of products, they have a more natural feel. What, I can’t be the only one who gets off to technology.
it’s not “penis stuck”, it’s “pen is stuck”
I pity the poor guy that had to suffer that.