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Non Dairy Fail


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Submitted by iDaemon

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» 203 Failures in Communication

  1. thepowerofblue says:

    I should say something here, but I’m primary ordinal intolerant.

  2. Adoni says:

    It may have milk, but at least its Kosher….

  3. Someone or another says:

    I sense a lawsuit…

  4. wut says:

    I fail to see the fail

  5. FeetBurger says:

    WOOHOO I GET 7th
    Wtf??? why do people constantly masturbate over fails?
    stfu, you fail at life, please die

  6. Lol says:

    Maybe it contains man-milk?

    • coyote says:

      They’re on the dog milk now.

    • dolt says:

      errrm… do you actually know anything about biology?

      • coyote says:

        Red Dwarf reference. Kryton episode.

        • Loz says:

          No silicon heaven?! Preposterous! Where would all the calculators go?

          • Shadow says:

            Interesting story about that…
            *sits cross-legged on the floor, gets ready for story time*
            (First, I must tell you, names have been changed to protect those involved. And “O”’s have been changed to “ou”’s and “z”’s to “s”’s to protect me from Loz. ;-) )
            Anyway, the story…
            Once upon another boring school day, when I was in 8th grade, I had this absolutely evil geometry teacher, and I hated her. And this other kid named… erm… we’ll call him Jack, he hated her, too, probably even more than I did. She was strict, she was uptight, she had almost no sense of humour, she was, in all likelihood, the devil; indeed, her overall demeanour was consistent with a sort of perpetual PMS. So we decided to get back at her. She had a large array of calculators in a basket on her supplies shelf, and she probably valued them more than the lives of her students, so, to get back at her, I stole one of her more valued calculators, and then, during recess… Jack and I beat the living sh*t out of it! It was very funny. Black ooze was leaking into the screen, all the keys had been ripped off, the casing was snapped in half; it was, indeed, destroyed, disassembled, and demolished (in that order) to the point where we had to take out the circuit board, in order to have something to further pulverise. And then, we put it all in a clear plastic baggy and left it on her desk with a friendly note that said, “Thinking of you”.
            *evil smile* :-D

            *prays that his geometry teacher doesn’t read failblog*

  7. Zeratul says:

    U, masturbators, are fcked up as Kawiak’s dick!

  8. bolmedias14 says:

    Sorta the polar opposite to a pack of nuts saying ‘May contain nuts.’ Classic.

    • BondFan4518 says:

      …And our next Jeopardy category is “What sums up the Bush Administration?”

      • Loz says:

        Win!
        On the topic of American politics, I just heard on the news that die-hard Hillary fans are threatening to vote Republican rather than Obama. I cannot get my head around this. It is beyond petty.
        Also a woman was crying because “Hillary shoulda got it”. It’s like people have disregarded the politics completely and fallen in love with the ‘characters’. Scary.

        • thepowerofblue says:

          PUMAs fail big-time.

        • Lol says:

          Isn’t that all that politics is anyway? I mean, when you get to the heart of it, politics is no different to a Year 6 popularity contest.

        • Joey Y says:

          You should look up “cult of personality” (not the song by Living Color).

          It is dangerous for that exact reason, people vote for a leader based on who they (personally) like as opposed to who they trust and (politically) agree with.

        • malfeasant says:

          sadly, american politics has been like that longer than i have been alive

        • ridingonthermals says:

          American politics is a joke in the first place so to go on about how the common man (read: buffoon) is easily swayed in their party loyalty is laughable as it is simply one of the many punchlines to the aforementioned joke. Vote Socratic!
          (And the first to explain that one receives TWO of BondFan’s famous cookies!)

  9. failorg says:

    They say “Non dairy” because it contains casein, which is milk, but it doesn’t have lactose in it. So people who are lactose intolerant can have this.

  10. damnedgamer says:

    I don’t get the joke

  11. someone says:

    Irish brand

  12. proteus says:

    SOLDIUM TRIPOLYPHOSPHATE= SOY JIZZ

  13. shoobeydoobey says:

    It’s an ingredient FAIL as well:P –> “MAY” contain soy? Well does it or doesn’t it?

  14. ozzie mandius says:

    Edible substance fail.

  15. Tylwyth Waff says:

    Bag of Crap Packaging? WOOT!

  16. Kristopher says:

    Fail submission fail.

    Sodium Caseinate is derived from milk. The veg oil is derived from soybeans.

    The line in question is an allergy warning line, and is thus correct.

  17. james says:

    This isn’t a fail. The packaging clearly states that the non dairy creamer has a milk derivative therefore the bold CONTAINS:MILK only states that there is a milk derivative in it and not actually milk.

  18. JM says:

    Yeah, got to love that nearly all of the non-dairy stuff contains casein. Casein is what I’m allergic to in dairy.

    • Anni says:

      It’s just easier to cut out dairy and dairy like products from your diet anyway. The soy substitute costs a dollar for drinks at school, which isn’t much until you realize you it’s a quarter of the cost of the whole thing. All so I can do my classmates the favor of not puking it right back up.

      Though, we don’t have the same problem.

  19. Bobbo says:

    Yes! I’ve just recovered fro a serious casine (milk protein) allergy, and that’s the very reason I couldn’t use coffee mate!

  20. Dan says:

    So if this is a non-dairy, would that make this a TOTAL AND UDDER FAIL?

  21. kat says:

    milk does not equal lactose, non-dairy means no lactose.

  22. Athanar says:

    That’s like the wipes I saw at Chili’s once.

    “Clean your hands without soap or water.

    Ingredients: Water, soap, fragrance.”

  23. Anni says:

    The entire city of Winston is full of fail anyway.

  24. Deadclown says:

    FIRST!!!!!!!
    Damn now I forgot what the hell I was going to say. Stupid porn distra

  25. Alex J. says:

    Made in Winston-Salem. I live in Winston-Salem!

  26. Sarah says:

    This is actually pretty common. Casein isn’t really considered “milk” for dietary purposes – I run into this all the time as a vegan. It’s a dairy product, but if you have problems digesting milk or any kind of intolerance, it’s not a problem. You’ll also notice it in a lot of fake “cheese” products that are also labelled non-dairy.

  27. PINGAS says:

    LOLWUT?

  28. Shanna says:

    There is a great line from a BR549 song “you can canonize the devil, you can crucify a saint, but you can’t replace your half and half with Coffeemate.”

  29. Cody says:

    As a vegan I have ran into this problem with every non-dairy creamer in existence. The only creamer without dairy is soy creamer.

  30. epicninja says:

    duuuuuuuuude win
    i seriously live in winston-salem

  31. comics4lolcats says:

    non-dairy creamer is very explosive.



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