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I should say something here, but I’m primary ordinal intolerant.
I’m ordinary primal intolerant.
I’m primarily intolerant of ordinals.
Perhaps I should have pointed out that this is a double fail, because it says “May Contain: Soy” even though the second ingredient is partially hydrogenated soybean oil.
It’s hit or miss though, cause it also may not contain soy.
Is this one of those ‘cat in the box is alive and dead’ things?
Schrödinger’s…
It simultaneously does and does not contain soy.
Only while the package is closed.
That reminds me of the big warning that “this product contains wheat” on my package of shredded wheat. More of a captain obvious thing.
Sure it wasn’t captain crutch?
Hey you should post that on FAIL blog and put it in as a common sence fail.
: D
HA this isn’t a fail! they put it on cause it comes from processing plant that deals with milk and contains some traces of it. ha the post is a fail itself
I think you may have missed the part of the ingredients list that says “sodium caseinate (a milk derivative).”
You can thank the FDA and USDA for this kind of stuff. Non-dairy products are allowed to contain dairy ingredients. If you are allergic, or otherwise want to find products that don’t contain diary, you need to look for “Parve” on the label.
This is a fail for the fail blog. If you look in the ingredients, there’s only a milk DERIVATIVE. The “contains:milk” is only for people with allergies sake. Since there are people so sensitive that even the derivative would harm them.
It may have milk, but at least its Kosher….
It’s pickle milk? *masturbates*
i wonder why there is always a reference to masturbation in every fail
The same reason for all the Soviet Russia comments and comment number posts. It’s the internet, it happenes. I just do it for the fame.
That’s the problem with kids these days, they’re just in it for the fame. I remember a time when a fellow would do it for the love of the game.
I hate the game! I just want people to remember my name. Either way it’s all the same. Now stfu before I kick out your cane and cause you some pain. You’ll be face down in a drain and the ass of your pants will have shit stains.
You are to Shakespeare as the weightlifting fail kid is to Olympic weightlifters
And if you’re so old school, then you must have the trade mark on dirt right?
Or do you have the trade mark on Shakespeare?
Perhaps the Olympics? That’s it, it’s that one right? Yeah it’s that one.
I’m surprised no-one’s commented on the name ‘creamer’.
Whaaa? Wow good catch there BondFan4518.
‘Good catch’? Is that some kind of innuendo for masterbation I haven’t heard of yet?
No.
Well, maybe.
No, I was simply complimenting on the insight you had to realize that no one had in fact commented about creamer yet. That is all.
Why thank you. I will reward you with a double chocolate chip cookie!
WOOT! Cookie! Nom nom nom.
Wait a minute…
I hearby diagnose you with Lolcatitis – the disease contracted from too many cheezeburgers. Symptoms include Noming, I can hazing and teh bukkiting.
Crap…Sorry *braces for impact*
What the AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I can haz medical aid?
*quickly slaps some sense into BondFan4518* Sorry bout that. *returns what is left of cookie* I don’t deserve this.
Oh. What? Where am I? Who are you? Is this Pyongyang?
Why are you eating a cookie?
(All of BondFan’s senses of reason will become kaput below this level)
Whew! *whipes brow* BondFan4518’s gonna be ok folks.
Gimme that cookie! I wanna cookie!
*Just4 slaps BondFan again. BondFan falls to the ground, twitching*
*sigh* Now what am I gonna do with you? *poke* Are you okay? *poke poke*
Stand back, I’ll give him some of my brownies.
They’ll make him feel much better, although he may think he’s dead for a while.
Ooohhh brownies. May I?
As long as you promise not to phone the police. No matter how concerned for your health you may become.
Now wait a minute, if you’re not the law…then why was I running from you before? Or (I hope I’m wrong) is this a set up? *inches toward the door*
I’m a vigilante
Ok, just keep that billy club where I can see it, away from my rear end.
Oh, don’t I know it, Loz
*smooch*
That’s it. Next time I’m spiking the Failblog punchbowl with Prozac before I go to bed…
well that might keep talonsofpeace in line next time he skips his daily anti-psychotics. But keep an eye out for this Lolcatitis, I hear it’s becoming an epidemic in these parts.
(Vaccinations won’t nest below this level)
Lolcatitis: Funny but a little bit gay.
*head blows up*
In Soviet Russia, milk contains you!
Not just kosher, but kosher-dairy. That’s what the D next to the OU means.
I totally noticed that! So remember, mishpocha, you no can haz wif cheezburgers. Wait! If youz koshure you no can haz cheez on yer burger. Maybe can has soy cheez-food flavurd prahduct? Make all bedder!!! *confuzzxled goy is confuzzled*
I sense a lawsuit…
i sense milk
I sense… *masturbates*
see my reply to just4internetfame
it was a joke from ages ago which some of us juvenile minded still find a bit funny, thats why. Agnus kills joke win! Now do it to the firsters.
Fisters? *masturbates*
In Soviet Russia, lawsuit senses you.
In Soviet Russia, you’d be sued for making that joke.
On Planet Earth, Soviet Russia jokes are old.
I fail to see the fail
that’s because you fail.
non-dairy wut
Ingredients: Corn fail solids, partially hydrogenated failbean oil, sodium failanate, beta failotene and ribofailin.
Contains: Fail, May Contain: Pwn
WOOHOO I GET 7th
Wtf??? why do people constantly masturbate over fails?
stfu, you fail at life, please die
dead bodies…*mastur….er…nevermind…*
You wana bitch about people masturbating but you are the first person to mention your comment placement? WTF to you sir/ma’am?
hurrah!
I blame Justin Timberlake for bringing sexy back.
Win!
I tried that. They wouldn’t refund my moneys.
well… I never. Never have I been so insulted! Wait… no, no I have.
Because they are sick-minded losers? That’s what I thought.
Maybe it contains man-milk?
They’re on the dog milk now.
errrm… do you actually know anything about biology?
Red Dwarf reference. Kryton episode.
No silicon heaven?! Preposterous! Where would all the calculators go?
Interesting story about that…
)
*sits cross-legged on the floor, gets ready for story time*
(First, I must tell you, names have been changed to protect those involved. And “O”’s have been changed to “ou”’s and “z”’s to “s”’s to protect me from Loz.
Anyway, the story…
Once upon another boring school day, when I was in 8th grade, I had this absolutely evil geometry teacher, and I hated her. And this other kid named… erm… we’ll call him Jack, he hated her, too, probably even more than I did. She was strict, she was uptight, she had almost no sense of humour, she was, in all likelihood, the devil; indeed, her overall demeanour was consistent with a sort of perpetual PMS. So we decided to get back at her. She had a large array of calculators in a basket on her supplies shelf, and she probably valued them more than the lives of her students, so, to get back at her, I stole one of her more valued calculators, and then, during recess… Jack and I beat the living sh*t out of it! It was very funny. Black ooze was leaking into the screen, all the keys had been ripped off, the casing was snapped in half; it was, indeed, destroyed, disassembled, and demolished (in that order) to the point where we had to take out the circuit board, in order to have something to further pulverise. And then, we put it all in a clear plastic baggy and left it on her desk with a friendly note that said, “Thinking of you”.
*evil smile*
*prays that his geometry teacher doesn’t read failblog*
Hahaha that’s fantastic. What a great story
now you just have to tuck me in…
Oh and I don’t have a problem with Americans using American English…
but I do have a problem with your unnecessary apostrophes, e.g. “z”’s.
:p
Yeah, I wasn’t sure whether quotations and apostrophes were needed, or simply an apostrophe or quotation mark alone, as in “z”’s as opposed to simply z’s or “z”s.
*tucks loz in*
Sweet dreams.
It can be tricky with single letters. I prefer to capitalise, e.g. Zs, although I think apostrophes are acceptable in this case (just not combined with quotation marks
).
*has a sudden hankering for vindaloo and a grammar lesson*
No popcorn this time?
It was getting a tad stale…
(Grammar won’t nest below this level)
I pity the fool who doesn’t know that you can only capitalize T…
You left out the part about the period going inside the quotations.
Oh yes, that I have a problem with. It’s just wrong! Hehe.
U, masturbators, are fcked up as Kawiak’s dick!
I think you misplaced your “u”.
Can any of us, in these troubled times, really be sure where our u is?
No. No we can’t. I do however know where my pickle milk is.
you get your pickle milk from Kawiak’s dick?
No I make my own pickle milk from kosher non-dairy creamer milk.
Ah! It’s a kosher dill pickle.
DING DING DING! Thank you for playing sir, please step up and claim your prize. *clears throat* Might I suggest this tasty hunk of meat?
Sorry but the meat is too small to even fit on the end of a toothpick.
Fine I’ll feed it to some other mangy bitch… your loss.
And yet, somehow, I shall survive.
For as long as you know how to love.
I see you were finally able to change your avatar
but still keep your moniker as “coyote”. How did you
finally manage that?
But Basil Brush isn’t a coyote!
If you’re hungry for a hunk of fat and juicy meat, try my buddy pumba here because he is a treat.
Are ya achin? Yum Yum Yum. For some bacon? Yum Yum Yum. He’s a big pig. You can be a big pig too. Hoo-ah!
It’s yup, not yum. *is a lion king nerd*
Who is Kawiak? your boyfriend?
Sorta the polar opposite to a pack of nuts saying ‘May contain nuts.’ Classic.
Hypocrisy Win!
…And our next Jeopardy category is “What sums up the Bush Administration?”
Win!
On the topic of American politics, I just heard on the news that die-hard Hillary fans are threatening to vote Republican rather than Obama. I cannot get my head around this. It is beyond petty.
Also a woman was crying because “Hillary shoulda got it”. It’s like people have disregarded the politics completely and fallen in love with the ‘characters’. Scary.
PUMAs fail big-time.
Did anyone see the speech Michelle Obama gave on the first day of the Democratic convention?
I cried. :’-)
Isn’t that all that politics is anyway? I mean, when you get to the heart of it, politics is no different to a Year 6 popularity contest.
Truth.
You should look up “cult of personality” (not the song by Living Color).
It is dangerous for that exact reason, people vote for a leader based on who they (personally) like as opposed to who they trust and (politically) agree with.
sadly, american politics has been like that longer than i have been alive
American politics is a joke in the first place so to go on about how the common man (read: buffoon) is easily swayed in their party loyalty is laughable as it is simply one of the many punchlines to the aforementioned joke. Vote Socratic!
(And the first to explain that one receives TWO of BondFan’s famous cookies!)
As a special reward, you get THREE cookies!
And a rubber fist.
We’re serious :[
No
They say “Non dairy” because it contains casein, which is milk, but it doesn’t have lactose in it. So people who are lactose intolerant can have this.
It doesn’t seem as funny any more.
Yeah. Who invited Killjoy to the party?
Party foul — win!
There’s one in every thread.
Your sister’s open legs are in this thread?
Gee… I really didn’t want to know that. I’d rather just enjoy the joke than explain the crap outta it till it’s just not funny anymore, personally.
Which of course sucks for anyone vegan, who just doesn’t want milk or any other animal product used period.
We know what vegan means.
A person who makes ridiculous dietary decisions and smugly holds that fact over the heads of other people?
I wonder how they feel about mothers breast feeding their babies?
Has nothing to do with it. It is not the milk as much as the use of animals to supply it.
It’s not a dietary decision, it is a philosophical one.
And no, I am not a vegan (I’m from Antares).
Would you have prefered “dietetic”?
Preference has nothing to do with it, neither is what is eaten. It’s about how the food was procured. There are a few self-important individuals that do it more for the attention it brings them then anything else.
They tend to be the ones that everyone associates with the vegan way of life as they are the most visible, probably the same ones that Wasabi points out “smugly holds that fact over the heads of other people”.
.
Here endth the lesson, now that I have probably bored everyone to tear
All that learnin’ made me hungry. Who wants steak and eggs?
Any fried babies on the menu?
Well, I was gonna have my eggs in the form of McMuffin, but if you want to fry yours, be my guest.
“steak and eggs” is your definition of a McMuffin?
.
Culinary discretion FAIL!
Your idea of culinary discretion is a McMuffin? And HE fails? Yikes.
I was attempting to allude to fails of yore where pro-McMuffin advertisements and anti-abortion advertisements were placed in comically close proximity. It appears, I’m doing it wrong.
Oh I got it, I just think raelait is taking this WAY too seriously. Besides I agree with you Wasabi, every vegan I have ever met is smug, self-righteous, holier-than-thou, and egostistical over the fact that they are vegan.
I take very little of anything seriously.
I just like to clear up the dairy air.
And just what’s wrong with McMuffinns anyway? I mean
who knows when you might need a spare hockey puck?
.
Avis, so you think that a McMuffin is equivalent to Steak
and eggs?
Not by a long shot. I don’t even think a McMuffin is equivalent to food!
It’s not, nor is any of that cardboard-flavored plastic
mass produced by the fast food chains.
Exactly. Non Dairy should mean…. dun dun dunnnnn… NO DAIRY!
I don’t get the joke
Check your pants.
I lolled.
*sets K back upright*
Irish brand
What is?
YOU are!
*hugs*
Loz is getting jiggy with it.
♫ Na na na na na na na ♫
can you explain the Irish fascination with that song? It played every where when I was on your fair isle…hasn’t played here since the late ’90’s…
What, Will Smith? Hahahah, I haven’t heard it since the 90s either… are you sure that’s not when you were here?
SOLDIUM TRIPOLYPHOSPHATE= SOY JIZZ
How did you manage to spell the shorter word wrong?
hard to type with one hand when looking at pics of your mom on internets
You must be annoyed you can’t afford the real thing.
may contain FAP
ingredients: meat, sweat, friction,your mom, and no shame
Practice.
You are getting much better at this.
It’s an ingredient FAIL as well:P –> “MAY” contain soy? Well does it or doesn’t it?
Edible substance fail.
Bag of Crap Packaging? WOOT!
You know I think I did see this on the last woot-off.
Fail submission fail.
Sodium Caseinate is derived from milk. The veg oil is derived from soybeans.
The line in question is an allergy warning line, and is thus correct.
This isn’t a fail. The packaging clearly states that the non dairy creamer has a milk derivative therefore the bold CONTAINS:MILK only states that there is a milk derivative in it and not actually milk.
OK folks, nothing to see here, move along.
party pooper. diet freak
Its called logic. Other things in this site suffice a fail. This doesn’t.
Yeah, got to love that nearly all of the non-dairy stuff contains casein. Casein is what I’m allergic to in dairy.
It’s just easier to cut out dairy and dairy like products from your diet anyway. The soy substitute costs a dollar for drinks at school, which isn’t much until you realize you it’s a quarter of the cost of the whole thing. All so I can do my classmates the favor of not puking it right back up.
Though, we don’t have the same problem.
Yes! I’ve just recovered fro a serious casine (milk protein) allergy, and that’s the very reason I couldn’t use coffee mate!
I am not your mate.
So if this is a non-dairy, would that make this a TOTAL AND UDDER FAIL?
ha ha ha…if not one else does…I will laugh at your pun…well pwn’d my friend.
Hahaha… Thank you
milk does not equal lactose, non-dairy means no lactose.
That’s like the wipes I saw at Chili’s once.
“Clean your hands without soap or water.
Ingredients: Water, soap, fragrance.”
The entire city of Winston is full of fail anyway.
FIRST!!!!!!!
Damn now I forgot what the hell I was going to say. Stupid porn distra
Porn distra? What’s a porn distra? Is it anything like a Holden Astra?
I think he meant porn distractions. Probably.
That’s probably a better guess than what I had. I’m thinking if a Porn Distra is like a car, I don’t want to know what you use to steer.
And what you use to accelerate is taboo, of course. But as you get faster, and faster and faster you…never mind.
Made in Winston-Salem. I live in Winston-Salem!
This is actually pretty common. Casein isn’t really considered “milk” for dietary purposes – I run into this all the time as a vegan. It’s a dairy product, but if you have problems digesting milk or any kind of intolerance, it’s not a problem. You’ll also notice it in a lot of fake “cheese” products that are also labelled non-dairy.
LOLWUT?
There is a great line from a BR549 song “you can canonize the devil, you can crucify a saint, but you can’t replace your half and half with Coffeemate.”
As a vegan I have ran into this problem with every non-dairy creamer in existence. The only creamer without dairy is soy creamer.
duuuuuuuuude win
i seriously live in winston-salem
non-dairy creamer is very explosive.