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Am I First?
Nah, nothing like that.
Clear funeral home WIN.
This reminds me of a neighborhood near me named Dunmovin subdivision.
Hm. “Destinations Retirement Home” flash-back.
First to be gone.
I’m a goodnplenty goner. Just sayin’.
*purr*
(Maybe I should attatch my real pic…….)
Careful, she’s only got one eye
“I’m like a one-eyed jack peeking in a seafood store,
I can look at you till you aint no child no more.”
___
~ Big Joe Turner, “Shake, Rattle and Roll”
whoops … I copied and pasted that, and there’s an error in it — the actual line should be, “I can look at you and tell you ain’t no child no more.”
(Somebody tell Pedobear there’s some wrong suggestive lyrics on the internet.)
I always wondered what Big Joe was saying there.
Pedobear is aware, that bear is.
I’m gonna take a nap guys. Wake me up when there’s a good fail mkay?
Not to be a pain but it’s “one eyed cat”, not jack.
you’re right … there are several versions of the lyrics, but Big Joe’s original (1953, I think) is “one eyed cat”
Yarrr! I’m here to plunder your booty!
Sounds kinky.
Pegging WIN!
Yeahyouregone
Yes, you are gone. lol
second
Swing and a miss…
Amigone!
Couldn’t think of a better example of spanish-english fusion
I could; Benidorm
Benidorm? *vomits*
Benidorm… ugh. No, thanks. Leave it for the ill-mannered, drunk brits
Exactly, it’s a horrible place because of the Brit invasion. It’s just like a British town only hotter lol.
Not quite, it seems just to contain all the dregs and scum of British society.
Otherwise you are pretty much correct
Scum of the British Society = the people in the video where he kicks through the stone wall and gets his leg stuck.
Scum? That guy just hobbled himself. Give him a Darwin, cut off his testicles so he cannot procreate, and move on.
Did that chav get crippled?
well, when they grow up, the just end up in Benidorm. God…
did u see the name of the person that submitted it?
that made me LOL too
Why does my name (my real name, BTW) make you LOL??
Actually… Amigone is a funeral home in the Niagara Falls, New York area. It’s Italian.
I’ve seen them in over Buffalo and West Seneca too
Ya, and it’s a song by the GooGooDolls too. Actually, the funeral homes are really nice… I sadly went to a wake for a friend of mine’s sister at one, and the family is pretty nice.
I think it’s the perfect name…
i concur
Would you call an immortality home Antigone?
No, that’s where dead Ants go
(perhaps more like dead ant’s mother’s sisters.)
It’s the Southern version of “Amigone”: “Ain’t I Gone?”
Oedipus would like a word with you
And Venus was asking about you, you lucky sonuvajuno.
Oh Fuzz, you’re so unbending. Where did the family tree go wrong?
what’s the next stop? Yesuis Memorial Cemetary?
Game, set, and match… Proteus.
that’s how i roll… lol
For a shifty Greek myth, though, you just don’t seem to be familiar enough with incest.
usually i am. like those occaisional instances when i’m dressing your one legged, one eyed, tripod mother up like little bo peep and bashing her face with corning ware to get worked up for a hot nght of incest.
Your jocosity’s too puerile to ever win a Jocasta.
And your humors are too constipated to rectumfy your name.
I did not understand half of that comment.
The first line is a myth and a hit on proteus’ unfunny boner.
The second is a classical enematic suggestion that proteus is far too turgid a turd to be worthy of thinking himself deftly protean.
____
I see. Ok.
*laughs nervously, wondering if he ruined the joke by having it explained to him*
its also a person capable of inifinate change and development.
well, let’s flip this back around..
fuzz on the concept, huh?
how about you conceptualize that – i “eff’d” you and fell asleep and let out z’s because you’re a lousy lay and i want the snickers bar i used as payment back you lazy queen!
i can has win now?
only an “its also a person” with the mental age of a developmentally challenged infant talks of “inifinate” change.
your little mind is too young to “eff” with –
go back to sesame street and fantasize about learning the alphabet, before another of your cheezy posts make me snicker at you all over again.
How can she be one-legged, and a tripod?
MOM??!!!
Easily naming win.
They should probably add a disclaimer. “If you’re reading this, you’re not.”
No fail – this is photoshopped.
ORLY? Cuz I thought it was another one of those “dumb Americans don’t know about the outside world” kinda deals. Thx for clearin that up.
Google before you “no fail.”
No, make sure your flight to Paris lands at the De Gaulle airport. The Orly always has the worst traffic.
What makes you so sure that he’s American? It’s not like we have a monopoly on stupidity. Plus I think he was being sarcastic. Maybe.
Unless you were being sarcastic too…
There really needs to be a better way to determine sarcasm on the internet. I expect the report on my desk by Friday. Get working.
you cannot has. Fatty McCanklestein can’t fit at his desk.
1 – Your Orly joke is stolen and old…but still funny.
2 – I was being sarcastic. The majority of the comments on faiblog consist of “fake” “photoshopped” “American stupidity, not really a fail” “old” or the oposite of what would happen in Soviet Russia. It gets tedious to read the same comments over and over. (Oh, and don’t forget the ever popular “first”)
3 – Because of 2^, it doesn’t really matter whether he’s an American or not. That wasn’t the point. (BTW – I’m an American.)
4 – If the comment is from me, you can bet it’s usually dripping with sarcasm.
*sigh*
*pats Winter on the head*
I suggest a special symbol to denote sarcasm, like how question marks imply the inflection of asking a question, all-caps suggests SHOUTING, etc.
But we already HAAAaaaaAAAve one.
*snooOOOooOOOOooorrrKKkk!*
We may not have a monopoly on stupidity, but we do have majority shares…
If only someone would Photoshop some win into your comment …
WAASSUPPP, BI!
That was a spicy burn you served up.
Thank you much. I was a bit worried that all the intervening comments would make my comment’s concept a bit … fuzzy.
Nah, it’s real.
There are like eight of them in my hometown.
photoshop-spotting fail. there’s a slew of them all over the buffalo/niagara falls area. oh wny…
Yeah, I was just gonna say. We love those guys around here. BUFFALO FTW
Don’t know if it’s still there, but just down the road from one of the Amigone’s used to be a sign in a local cemetery – “Resurrection Mausoleum – Now Open For Your Visitation”. I wish I were kidding. I love this town…
Actually, it’s real. I live in the Buffalo, NY, USA area, and they are one of the bigger funeral homes around here. The name comes from the founders last name. Yes, some person named Amigone decided to go into the funeral business.
You can go to their website (http://amigone.com/aboutus/why_choose.php) for yourself.
When I first moved to the area, I thought it was hysterical. Took me a while to get used to it, now I don’t even see it.
Makes me wish I had taken a picture of the sign for the “Yee-Hwa” Korean Barbecue place before they closed. Procrastination-induced timing fail.
Well, now don’t I feel stuuuupid (doesn’t take much) as I’m originally from WNY!
Yup. And on Delaware Road in Kenmore (just north of Buffalo) is another funeral home, operated by the Bury family. No lie.
Yep, Bury and Bury Funeral Home, which is kind of near the main Amigone funeral home on Sheridan.
There are a TON of Amigones, I don’t even notice the irony anymore…
I don’t think the BJ’s and Dick’s strip mall was Buffalo, though. It looked familiar to me too but I can’t think of anywhere around here where those two places are next to one another.
Its on Transit road, just north of Sheridan.
This is the 2nd time in a week that Buffalo has made hte FAIL blog, and the 2nd time someone yelled photoshop.
What else in my hometown is FAIL worthy?
How about its economy? Or its inability to follow through on even the most minimally ambitious plans?
Scott Norwood!
No this is not photoshopped. I live here, in Buffalo, NY, where this picture was taken. we have a ton of these around Western New York. Everyone around here knows about these funeral homes, and we’ve all gotten a chuckle out of them. But I can tell you that it’s definitely for real.
This isn’t photoshopped! There are a bunch of them in Buffalo. I walk past them all the time!
Wasn’t the BJ’s/Dick’s strip mall from a few fails back in Buffalo too?
Not fail. They are in western new york, I live near buffalo and have seen these signs all the time and never thought anything of them. BTW they have a website.
No it’s not. It’s a chain in Buffalo. “Amigone” is the family name. That particular one is on Transit Road in Depew. I grew up about a mile from another location in Clarence.
Actually it’s real. I live in Buffalo, NY and they are all over the place here.
http://amigone.com/aboutus/why_choose.php
No, it’s real. I think it might be part of a chain, actually.. there’s another one, with a sign just like this, outside of Cresaptown, MD. I used to laugh at it every time I drove past.
It’s real. and in western NY lie someone else said.
http://amigone.com/aboutus/why_choose.php
This is not photoshopped, I live near many of these funeral homes. Its there family name.
It’s not photoshopped – there are several locations in the Buffalo, NY area. Feel free to look it up in a telephone directory or online.
We also have a funeral parlor (not too far from this one) named “Bury & Roberts”!
Nobody suggests that the name of the funeral home might be chosen exactly for its meaning? Could be. And if it is, it’s not a fail, it’s a win.
Win, surely. I couldn’t think of a better name for a funeral home! Well, maybe I could given the time, but I still think that’s pretty clever.
The Greek thread is pretty funny. This is a chain of funeral homes in the Buffalo area; the family name is Amigone alright, but everybody insists that it’s “ah-MIG-oh-knee.”
Old Fail. This was on AFV several years ago.
I FAIL at caring about what you think.
you’re half right
I’m half straight.
half right as well
No, half wrong.
(I’m a pessimist.)
Zen teacher: “You should have a 100% commitment to your sitting practice.”
)
student: “I feel a need to confess that I often feel only half-hearted about it.”
Zen teacher: “Then you should be 100% half-hearted.”
______
( true story
Oh my god! This is the funeral home near my grandmother’s house in Buffalo, NY!
grammy’s days are numbered.
AMG!!
Then I guess you’re K’s relative.
Submitted by Marydie…………..I think I have an idea where she lives.
I feel dissapointed
Why? You a failure?
Good to see Buffalo representin’ on the good ol’ failblog!
says the bratwurst
Eeeewwwww…….bratwurst sucks.
You can suck my bratwurst!
Is it a hispanic funeral parlor? Amigo + Gone = Amigone? It’s kind of a fun name. Maybe they are doing like they do in the South (in the U.S.) and combine everything, i.e., chicken and waffles; ho’s and bbq sauce??? So you can make friends and dispose of your dead.
”Dispose”… you should burn in hell for disrespecting dead people…I hope
the zombies eat you in your sleep.
I’m sorry I didn’t pander to your sensitive (read as pansy) nature. My choice of wording may be “disrespectful” but it’s accurate. And I don’t believe in hell so neener neener.
Hell believes in you, boy!
Ah yes welcome to buffalo NY home to like 7 of these funeral homes. Awesome!
He’s gone, amirite?
A mineral!? — in the end that animal was just a vegetable.
I took a picture almost ten years ago of a sign at Amigone. I always had to explain why it was funny to people.
You need to find smarter friends, then.
Looking for smarter friends on Failblog cannot be a win, sry.
You’ve clearly never met fuzz.
Hah, that funeral home chain is in my city lol Buffalo NY
Hah, that’s damn close to lmao Rochester right ?
Hehehehehe.
I only ever got as far as rofl Salamanca.
that *IS* the question.
This picture ALMOST gave me a boner.
*Masturbates*
Yeah I was just going to say, those funeral homes exist in the Buffalo NY area, so this probably ISN’T shooped.
I lol’d anyway though.
These funeral homes are in Buffalo; I pass by them all the time.
… right next to all those “Kwashere” Kwik Wash places.
Kwik Wash places, never heard of them lol. There is delta sonic…. lol.
omg, there are several of these funeral homes around western new york!!!
omg, there are several of these comments before yours!!!
Hey, I’ve seen these funeral homes! They’re all around Buffalo, NY!
*lol Buffalo NY
Western New York WIN!
By the way. If you want to see this specific sign it’s on transit road in Depew. Does this statement make me scary?
I always loled at the name Depew. I mean, who would want to live there? But then again, if you die there you may not know that you are gone.
scajaquada!
tonawanda!
depew!
home sweet home!
Rust Belt!
A butchered Olmstead parks system!
Awful public transit!
Home crap home!
thats what she said
conveniently located next to the cemetery by the playground!
With the really short grave sites.
Fitting your name with your calling WIN!!!
This is a totally real funeral home based in western new york near buffalo. I guess the name of the family that runs it is Amigone.
And yes, we think it’s hilarious too.
The Goo Goo Dolls (from Buffalo) wrote a song about it, called Amigone, on the album “Dizzy Up the Girl,” the one with Iris on it. I think it’s track 7, between Bulletproof and All Eyes on Me. Robby sings it. It’s one of his best, I think, or at least one of my favorites.
And the album itself is the best album in the history of the multiverse.
what??
The company I worked for back in 2002 repossessed some vehicles from these guys.
You know what else from Buffalo needs to be on here? The street sign for “Morning Wood Drive”, which is a lovely little neighborhood in East Amherst. The sign actually reads “MORNING WD DR” but its name is indeed “Morning Wood”. What were they THINKING?
For real: I was a claims examiner and I had a death certificate submitted for a claim with this funeral home named on it. It’s real!
god, buffalo has so many fails.
not only is our economy basically equal
to that of a third world country, but even
our funeral homes fail.
omg. was this in buffalo, ny? because i know the people that own that and that’s actually their last name. otherwise, theres another amigone funeral home besides this one.
Yeah it is! I live near it. That’s awesome! I never even thought of putting it on here.
funny thing is, this is a real place, i used to live near it, and its really the peoples last names too!!
HAHA! I have been driving past these signs (mind you there’s many of them) in my town for years… worst name for a funeral home EVER.
Here’s a semi-old list to clutter.
*joins* Now, about that turf…
I replied on Adoption Fail.
I brought the beer!
I have sausages, steak, potato salad and vegemite!
*tosses vegemite out the window*
Everything else looks good!
*pouts* that was to feed my goldfish!
Well, now your goldfish will have a decent funeral home to spend eternity at.
With it’s five second memory it’ll get swimming in circles asking “Am I gone? Oh a stone! Am I gone? Oh a stone!” for all eternity then.
I brought the blanket and the wine, and the left-over Scotch.
EGG-cellent.
*pours wine*
*egg-sited*
May I have some wine?
Certainly, red or white?
This is far too civilised. This is how we do things in Ireland…
*grabs wine bottle, necks half, passes to Avis*
Yes…
Ireland…
The land famed for getting drunk on St. Pattie’s Day…
*guzzles the rest*
*burps*
Thanks.
Precisely my point!
Oh and it’s Paddy’s Day, not Pattie.
When you’ve got Scotch and toddies in glasses lined up ten feet long for you by a very kind Dragon, it can be spelled Panaardidry’s Day, and it’ll make just as much sense after a couple drinks.
I’ll stick to wine and beer, thanks. It’s safer this way. For everybody.
Thinks must be speled right no matter how drnk one is!
Here hear!
*guzzles*
[drunk]
I love you guysh. You’re awshum…
[/drunk]
Oh… there’s a few bottles of scotch then? *ponders his hidden supply*
Plenty to go around, darlin’.
I’ll squee with excitement in a moment. For now I’m searching for the dry to go with my scotch.
Hey, Dragon, dear, are there any left-over toddies, or did we drink that all last night?
What’s a toddie?
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/toddies
I brought the popcorn!
*snatch*
I’ll take that.
I want beer, but I’m trying to sober up.
So the Jonnie Walker is still off your menu? *sighs and puts it back just outside Loz’s reach again*
Hey! I’ll take some of that! I missed the party last night!
*nudges the bottle into SotB’s reach*
Hey, thanks.
*matches Loz shot for shot*
*loosens up*
Jagerbombs, anyone?
Bruhaha! Bring it on!
Oops… I got in trouble for posting messages to quickly. Apparently I need to slow down. Does that apply to the drinks?
Never!
*lines up the bombs* ready? Sláinte!
álainn
What’s that?
“Nice”
Oh, it was! *hic*
So, Dan, do youu, wana cme back to my room after?
Are we going to play finger paints?
Weellll, maybe. I dunno, catch me? *falls over*
I think it’s time for me to go bed.
I’ll come along Loz. *smooch*
WOOP!
*catches Loz*
*tucks her into bed all nice and comfy*
I’ll send POB in if he finds his way here!
You guys have fun, I want 5 more fails filled up by my morning!
*sobs some more*
*hic!*
*passes out*
*smooches shadow*
*throws up a little in his mouth*
oops. definitely gonna regret that one…
So is HE, I reckon…!
Bleh…
*wakes up, bleary-eyed*
sorry, Shadow.
Don’t be sorry… it was amusing to see his response.
Teehee
Man, I’m sooooo hungover. How are you feelin?
*pours another round for dragon*
man, at this rate, there won’t be a lot left for me.
Are you trying to get me drunk…?
*hic*
A true gentleman never lets a lady see the bottom of her glass.
And a true lady never lets a gentleman see her bottom.
…Wait…
Of course, Dragon. You’re so much fun when you’re drunk.
Hmm… I may need to alter my strategy.
*moons*
Teehee.
Wow… just got awfully bright in here.
You thought only the sun shone from there didn’t you.
*snork!*
I have a feeling I’m gonna regret this in the morning…
Keep drinking so you don’t remember in the morning.
Oh no you won’t, baby, don’t worry
…
JAJAJA… Dan, you’re funny when you’re drunk.
No regrets!
Damn straight, Dragon, muh’dear.
Drunk? I’ve barely started!
I dunno…I think I’ve got you going pretty well!
*lines up 12 shots* let’s go six each and train them.
Done!
*points to shots*
Sit! Stay! Roll over!
Play dead!
Alright, who fed the goldfish booze? It can’t swim in a straight line.
*burp* shots is good. I can has more?
*offers moar*
Weeeee! I can has moar alkohole.
Umm… I think I’ll need a designated poster before too long…
Reminds me of last night. With the takilya.
One takilya, two takilya, three takilya, floor.
I lol’d.
Me, too, also!
You guys iz fun!
I do my best to impress… erm… amuse.
I see about 66 comments remaining before they boot us from here too. Who wants to go list hunting?
Nah, too drunk. At least let me finish off the takilya. I haven’t found the plastic worm yet.
Haha! how quickly did we fill this bitch up?!
Like a blonde on a Friday night.
Ye gods. We have mad skillz.
We is good, just ask us.
Well, I hate to run, but I’ve got worse things that need to be done. I’ll be back. I’ll find you somewhere.
We’ll always have the billboard thread…!
*sob*
A moment of silence for the billboard thread.
Wait for me, dragon. I’ll be back, someday!
(love can still nest below this level…)
*retires to love-nest*
I and my irresistibly touchable cashmere will wait!
Which is not to say we won’t have ourselves some fun in the meantime.
Would we expect any less?
That’s why we love you, Dragon
I sincerely hope not!
*chugs a cherub*
…Okay, that sounded a little more disturbing when I wrote it out than it did in my head…
just call it a little creature.
And then train it?
I’m outta here for now, Aussie-man…hope to see you around here later!
*smooooooooooooooooch!*
I’ll be around later **smooches back**
*pours another round for Loz*
Me too!
Hehehe…. we might need to find a really old one though. We could fill this fast.
The first one to make a cup ref, I will smite with the shellacked halibut.
*buttons lip*
You’re so cute when you try to resist.
And I’m really, REALLY bad at it…!
That’s OK, you’re good at other things…
Darn tootin’!
Like discussions on satin!
Satin and his demons?
His smooth goodness.
Speaking of smooth goodness, I’ve got more booze somewhere around here…
Today is a soft, comfy cashmere day. The kind you want to just run your hands alllllll over…
The type that makes you want to purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
mmm… You’re not made of cashmere by any chance, are you?
Cashmere is just one of my many incarnations.
Why don’t I get to join in on this fun?
No … just wear it a lot… of wait, you were talking to Dragon huh. Oops.
You’re too young. *pats*
sorry dan, for the misdirection.
oh*
*check ice-box*
We’re out of halibut, so have another toddy.
I have the halibut. It’s shellacked. It does not require refrigeration.
Yes. Beware Avis and her mighty Halibut o’ Justice.
*evil (slightly drunken) grin*
Nice.
Do you do house calls for smitings or do we have to stand in line?
Stand in line.
You could go to another cheezburger site to fill up!
No. We couldn’t.
Definitely not.
sacrilige.
blasphemy. heresy.
Unthinkable.
Inconceivable!
We might explode if we tried.
But, we wouldn’t try.
I no can haz cheezburger?
Noop.
Boop boop ba doop.
Thanks, Betty.
Schoop schoop ba doop schoope doop.
Dammit, I got ticket A68… the machine owes me one.
Hocrap. There’s one of those, like, down the street from my house. xD
…The name’s funny until you have to go to a service there. ._.
Hey that’s in Depew!
This is near my house. There are actually two of these run by the same family
Very interesting post and even more impressive discussion.
Amazing discussion. You totally rock!
Ha i live around the corner from there , thats funny
loll ami mean Friend in french … Friend gone
This is just cool
Dam, how could they do that?
thats in my town!! i laugh every time i drive by!
Funeral Home Fail…. How?
Funeral Home Fail…But How?
lol, this was on AFV
Damn, I was gonna say that!
The awesome Bob Saget version, not the steadily-getting-lamer Tom Bergeron version.