Click to see G-Rated Pics and Movies Only
« Previous Weightlifting Fail | Language Fail Next »
» 357 Failures in Communication
-
Recent Comments
xploren on Conan Fan Win selken on Comcast Fail Sbdude on Escape Fail tktk on Comcast Fail loladahl10 on AT&T Fail loladahl10 on Comcast Fail loladahl10 on Comcast Fail threephasewolf on AT&T Fail Sgt_Hawkins on Comcast Fail Meeeee on Conan Fan Win 
Cheezburger Network Blog
*whistles*….
What an epic fail! Those phrase books are hilarious.
My hovercraft is full of eels!
This record is scratched, I will not buy it!
My nipples explode with delight!
Please fondle my buttocks…..
Do the words ‘Hungarian phrasebook’ have any meaning to you, le sigh?
Of course it does, ‘please fondle my buttocks’ was the way Terry Jones character asked for directions to the train station… >_<
btw the actual phrase is ‘I will not buy this record, it is scratched!’ So STFU
If I said you had a beautiful botty… would joo hold it against me?
My botty is flattered. Is that anything like a bot fly?
I will not buy this tobacconists, it is scratched
Drop your panties sir William, I cannot wait till lunchtime
Always the one Williams remember…
I am fat and sassy.
I am flat and gassy.
…wait. That’s not right…
Pwn
I live in a giant bucket.
Let’s head back to my place, bouncy-bouncy.
Second thought: Not go to Camelot, it’s a silly place!
Shouldn’t you see someone about that?
Slusho makes stomach explode with happy!
“Trop tard”… Shouldnt that be Trop Trad?
I think so. Thats the REAL fail here.
…no, “Trop tard” is correct. FAIL
No. You fail Sir or Madam.
Tard.
Killer doll.
erm… no?!
FIRST! YEAH! I WON! WHAT DO I GET?! A COOKIE?
A pat on the head, *pats*
Yay! I’s get’s a pats!
Wait a minute, was that my five-year-old subconscious?
Your subconscious is five years old? What an intriguing condition!
Yep! I’s is five!
Oh no, not again! Get back in that dark corner! Shoo! Shoo!
When it starts to have a voice it has obviously spread from your subconscious to your conscious mind. Now is probably a good time to get that checked out.
Has my sense of humour proved of no avail? Damn!
You immediately redeem yourself by spelling ‘humour’ right.
Oh? Are you English? Huzzah! RULE BRITANNIA!
And you plummet. Is England the only place in the UK? Is it the only place that spells ‘humour’ with a u? No siree!
Wait! Wait! Are you Scottish? Irish? Welsh?
Northern Irish.
(I could also have been Australian.)
Ah. I could also have included Canada.
True. Although the Canadians like to mix and match.
And Gibralter, and the Virgin Islands.
Yes, and Singapore. We could go on for a while…
America: the cool older brother who’s a bad influence!
And Hgnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn….Sorry, I fell asleep thinking of all those territories.
America: the dopey fat bully kid from across the street who can’t spell.
o
Oooooooo…. You got burnt, the powerofblue.
Nah, it was all in good humour.
Actually, Australia’s taken over the title of Fattest Country on Earth. And no surprise, really. For example, our fast-food chain Burger King is called Hungry Jack’s down there. Clearly, they have a larger appitite than us, because the burger we call king leaves them still hungry.
Well that is still debated. The aussies are certainly catching up. Somehow…
I can spell… :[
what i don’t like about posters on this site is when they say “you’ve spelt somthing wrong” and don’t tell you how it should be spelt
I can easily tell u why we are getting fat… (im aus) in americas maccas u guys get quarter pounders aswell right? well we can custom order tripple pounders and any other burger also that like wen i was younger we would play cricket and footy down the street now sit inside and do nothing…
I am fat and I dont know why I should care what you think about it or what country I live in (US). I have been in a stable relationship for 12 years and am happy. If your hateful skinny ass cant seem to find true love or happiness, be sure to get your whole head in front of the shotgun plz, thnx
thats one of the dumbest things i’ve ever heard
You are both trying too hard…
Canadians do NOT mix and match. Although some people seem to
have problems with “your” and “you’re” I guess I could throw “there”
“their” and “they’re” in there too.
Stupid teenagers. (Yes, I am a teenager. Yes, I do have proper grammar.)
you have proper grammar? i had it first. that was mine. i want it back! give it back!!!
Canadians DO mix and match. They generally use the British ‘u’ in words like humour but they use the American versions of ‘ae’ words such as gynecology’.
Are you sure that you mean “use propper grammar” rather than “do have proper grammar”, or even possibly just “have proper grammar” to get rid of the completely unneccesary “do”?
Well, technically, BondFan spelled “humour” h-u-m-o-u-r. Therefore, spelling it correctly. Spelling it “right” would have been r-i-g-h-t.
Uhm… by your logic, spelling it “correctly” would have been c-o-r-r-e-c-t-l-y.
And this is getting pretty annoying, a-n-n-o-y-i-n-g…
Nuh-uh. It’s the “ly” that makes the difference. “Correctly” is an adverb, “right” is not. Since the word is describing the verb of the sentence, an adverb is called for in this instance. “Right” is just a word tacked on at at the end of the sentence, although I realize people speak that way. That’s why I started my post with the word “technically”. I was being technical…..
Had I typed “spelled correct” your logic would be… well, correct.
well, actualLY, it could be taken both ways…. you could look at “correctly” as being A WORD and, therefore, a noun… and then follow Rick’s line of logic.
LOL. What, pray tell, is a ‘correctly’. A small burrowing creature?
I am soooooooooo not getting into this debate.
*steals Shadow’s popcorn*
*sits back to watch*
Loz… I am saying that the word “correctly” is a word. Look up “word” in the dictionary… is it not a noun???
c-o-m-m-e-n-t-s won’t n-e-s-t below this l-e-v-e-l.
Spelling it correctly and spelling it right are the same:
i-t.
your humour kills me… norly.
*nuzzles*
Technically “spelled” should have been spelt.
*Takes a while to make sure the comment is free of grammatical error.*
Technically either version is acceptable.
I don’t know about you, but i spelt it: I-T
My inner five-year-old wants to beat up your inner five-year-old for acting so damn twee.
Well mine’s got bigger guns!
your five year old’s got guns? are you sure you’re not American?
Ha ha, burn of the week potential! :p
Yes, we do have a bit of an obsession with firearms, don’t we. Sadly enough, I remember hearing of a family that got their four year old a license to have firearms.
Hug your children with the right to bear arms. Classic.
I believe in the right to arm bears.
(at least then one might have some leverage to call hunting a “sport’)
But how would all the armless bears survive?
But how would these armless bears survive?
indeed…
self-repetition fail
*slams head against keyboard asdlfnwevns*
I believe they can take some lessons in martial-ursorial arts from Kung-Fu Panda.
you get a fail
No, YOU get a fail!
no, i wasn’t first
So? You still get a fail!
you too
And you too
Now now kids, break it up.
Okay…But only if Loz gets a fail too!
I’m infailable. Sorry.
:[
We’re serious.
your gay…
and you too bondfail4518
Punctuate correctly before insulting, fail. steve
My gay? I thought I had him locked up.
gay
^gay
:[
i hate mr steve he’s just being boring and annoying and spoiling everybody’s fun
gay means happy… thought you freaking
punctuation/grammer/spelling/dictionary geeks
would have know that..
and as for spoiling your fun, go play with some
razorblades you emo clown
Deeba deep a deep deep, deeba deep a deep deep, da deeba deep a deep dee, MY SHARONA!
AAAAUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
….Sorry. Deep seated hatred for that song. That song was the bane of my existence in grade school.
“grade school”?
Suddenly I feel very old.
I think I was…um…about nine when that song came out. So yeah, third grade or so.
I saw them play that in concert.
The Knack were the opening band for Elvis Costello, which is who I really wanted to see.
I will not say how old I was then but I was already older then the majority of the others at the concert.
Awww…. :[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[
Staples! Thanks I needed some of those.
You’re welcome! :]]]]]]]]]]
(Staples won’t nest below this level.)
(]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]])
………………………………………………………………………………………………………]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]_staple_fail_fail
Infailable isn’t a word, FAIL.
I believe the word you were looking for is ‘infallible’
Haha, understanding-the-pun FAIL.
TOTALLY missing the joke fail.
Loz, you totally rock.
Aww you’re too nice! *cuddles*
*huggle!*
I wanna cuddle! *joins Loz and Dragonwriter in their cuddles and huggles*
You can’t always get what you want.
No, you can’t always get what you want.
But if you try sometimes, you just might find……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..you FAIL!
Scrollbar fail.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….How’s that for a scroll fail?
Scrollbar fail? Yes, but self-fulfilling prophesy WIN.
LAH LAH LAH not LISTENING!
It’s a self-fulfilling propheCy win. Spelling nazi alert. >_>
*chokes back snicker*
ew, get a room…
That, my friend, has to be the funniest thing I have ever seen on this site.
And that includes the time the British and Americans started bickering over food.
Which then turned into a fight about politics.
Which then turned into World War Three…
Gay?
::masturbates::
Pope Loz?
Trop tard. you tard
This entire comment nest gets a giant fail.
You know what, I agree with you. Although the fail is partly my fault.
understatements wont rise above this level ^
The word is turd.
tard = retard, so thbpbbbpt
and thbpbbbpt to you too, sir.
Ah, I do so love the sophisticated maturity of the genteel discussions and debates here on Failblog.
Apparently you get to buy your girl a new dress.
First = Epic fail.
You know what’s sad? I read the whole thing.
You know what’s sadder? So did I, almost a year and a half later.
awesome!
D’oh!
Don’t you mean “D’eaux”?
Don’t you mean “d’eau”?
(eaux is plural and means waters as in, ‘my waters broke’.)
Ooh…is that pluralised (yes, I used an “s”) there? We still say “my water broke”.
I can say that I have seen many waters, though…
(but not ones that broke. ew.)
It should be plural, yeah. I think many people say ‘water’ just out of ignorance (not calling you ignorant). I thought they were interchangeable until I googled it just now.
I’m not afraid to admit my ignorance.
Ignorance is curable…stupidity isn’t.
Yes it is.
Check Darwin Awards.
Haha, love it!
I didn’t get it.
Think Bill Clinton…
President who gets blow jobs > President who blows his job
Agreed.
With Clinton you got the twofer!
was he the one who couldn’t spell potatoe
Bush’s VP. Not Clinton. Bush Sr. that is.
That would be Quayle, Dan Quayle.
Until Dubya showed up, no one thought any politician could be dumber.
How wrong we all were. How sadly, sadly wrong we were.
By “we” I mean the country as a whole, I certainly didn’t vote for the idiot.
This next election will hopefully be the end of an errror.
Gawd, Avis, I hope you’re right.
BTW…how’s the boy?
*contented smile*
Very good. VERY good!
We went to HIS nest yesterday.
I know that’s not spelled right. I tried, and spell check doesn’t like my computer for some reason. That and Godot here (it’s what I’ve named my snail of a computer) is driving me nuts!
“errror” is the proper misspelling
… otherwise it wouldn’t be incorrect
You named your computer Godot? You, ma’am, get a computer naming WIN.
Actually, the singular of potato has no letter “E” at the end. The plural, however, does require an “E” before the “S”.
oh man thats funny
All the french I need to know I learned on failblog. Now I just need a fail that teaches me how to dispose of a french whore’s corpse.
Hooray internets!
(Comments won’t matter below this level)
French whore’s corpse? WTF? Are you Dork in disguse?
(MaxwellEdisons won’t make sense above this level)
En premier, on doit découper les membres…
Et la tete. N’oubliez pas la tete.
Ah oui, bien sûr. Et les organes génitaux… si tu veux…
Alouette, gentille Alouette
Alouette, je te plumerai
Who is Alouette and why must you pluck her?
Le singe est sur la branche!
et le chat est sur la chaise!
et la souris et sous la table!
Je m’apelle Eddie Izzard, et je suis catastrophe…
Pardonnez mon français horrible. J’ai utilisé un traducteur d’Internet, comme un Américain typique : – S
If that ends up actually being grammatically correct, I think I’m going to die.
Y’kno, not half bad!
Well…I understood it perfectly.
OH NO! Don’t die, Shadow… NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Dragonwriter, ne s’inquiètent pas à son sujet. Également comme un Américain typique, je suis très rarement sérieux. ; -)
Le whew!
Finally something I understood.
Being Sociable Fail… (English Blog!)
Si tu arrives à comprendre ma phrase c’est que tu as gagné !
je suis un petite chaufleure!
Il y a de génitaux électrique, que ne désagrégent pas. Génitaux orgraniques ne sont pas bon souvenirs.
J’ai toujours préféré douce dame doigts avec mon café. Non, ce ne sont pas des raisins, ils sont blowflies!
boloss
Maxwell Edison (majoring in medicine) should know how to dispose of a corpse.
Where’s a psychopath with a shiny hammer when you need one?
Careful with the questions..don’t want to get too quizzical now.
Apparently not since he got caught.
Why would a French whore have a corpse?
Cuz she likes stiff clients.
badum tish
They say French is the language of love, but I think love is never having to say “Desole pour ta robe.” (With the little accent thingies above the e’s in desole, of course.)
Maybe not the sort of love you’re into…
I disagree, I think love is always having to say désolé pour ta robe
Yeah, nice dresses are expensive, you better be sorry!
True, but I tend to find that there are things I can do with a lady once her dress is safely off that are way more fun for both her and I.
like what?
Use your imagination
.
I didn’t know that we, French, had such a reputation… O_o
Damn, your French lessons seem to be very interesting. I’d loved to learn French with this concept.
Looks to me failblog is failing
to post my messages.
Yey! its working.
So as i was saying, the sad thing is, a girl actually said that to me once..
Wait, a girl said “Désolé pour ta robe”? That’s sort of dodgy.
yeah but she said the other three lines too. So then its ok right?
She said them all? Is she a schizo like shoobey?
No, at least I don’t think so… I don’t know her that well, but I’d like it explain it but I don’t think it’s appropriate here.
kaakaamaazoo’s got a girlfriend, kaakaamaazoo’s got a girlfriend…
Wait, I may have spelt your name wrong. Oops.
why didn’t you copy and paste it … it’s quiker and you don’t make spelling mistakes
Indeed dotl.
Endeed, August 25th, 2008 at 5:47 pm.
Ah, yes. But you are still prone to manual spelling mistakes such as spelling “quiker” instead of “quicker”.
Incoming Spelling Nazi.
Bad Grammar makes me [sic]
P. S. I left out the period in the above sentence because of the fact that the proof-reading mark [sic] never has a period in its brackets. Ever. (sentence fragment, consider revising)
I wish that were true.. sniff..
GFAIL!
GFail? Is that the Failblog version of Gmail?
This is a guy who earlier said that women were like spaceships and have big lasers all over them.
Yah…real shocker about being single there.
And best for the species as a whole.
No, it’s really not. Okay that is.
Nope if it were a girl she’d say: désolée and not désolé (the added “e” at the end of “désolé” shows that it’s a man who’s speaking
woman*
Right, I mess up with my comment, I wanted to write “the MISSING “e” at the at the end of désolé shows that it’s a man”.
I should read myself more than twice before posting… T_T
So a girl actually said to you, “Sorry about your dress”? Hmmmmm
Yeah she was wearing mine you know, She likes to do that for some reason. Wearing my clothes I mean.
I guess she thought it was cute and wasn’t freaked out that you are a cross dresser.
It sure would freak me out. Someone getting all pissed off just because they had to get dressed.
I think sausages are a delicious and nutritious snack, but where’s my hat?
You didn’t leave it by the dress, did you?
Personally I think this is a French Language instruction win, let’s teach people what they really need to use!
exactement.
I wonder what lessons 1-4 were like.
And with a screen-name like yours, I’m sure you can’t wait for lesson 6.
Too late. Sorry about your dress.
Are you calling me a tranny?
with a name like bond fan, who knows?
Ah, be quiet.
And anyway, I’m NOT a tranny!
Methinks you doth protest too much.
well you might be grinding your gears if someone called you a tranny, too.
Win!
Attempting to help in Flame of the Week FAIL
it’s burn of the week idiot
Did anyone call me ?
LOL. No way, man. This is too good to be true.
It’s not a real fail
YOU’RE not a real fail.
I don’t think anybody wants to be a real fail. Comeback FAIL.
YOU’RE a comeback FAIL.
Everyone is a FAIL, children
i’m not i’m specle, my mummy says so
With the possible exception of Failnocchio.
Faux pas WIN!
should that be “faux pas gagne”?
*lightly punching the desk between words*
I did not have sexual relations with that woman.
Bill? Is that you?
i want to know what book this is in! french 101 blows with the book I’ve got….
French will blow with this lesson, too.
I am from Montreal, Quebec, and french is my mother tongue… This is a fail even in french… Those sentences ARE properly translated, and the sentence sequence is sexually interpretable in both languages.
thank you very much i got a D in french and i could work that out
All debate must stop, the Quebecois have spoken!
french… mother… tongue… sexually…!
sorry… those were the only words i got form your post.
*from*
LOL. Burn of the week!
I think blowing is overrated, you should try sucking. Brings out the flavour. Speaking of flavour: I think sausage is a delicious and nutritious snack. I do seem to have misplaced my hat though; anyone seen it?
Lewinsky fail
That’s money for ya
Whoa whoa whoooooa, there, imposter. GET OUT.
AMERICAN TROOPS TO GET OUT OF IRAQ BY END OF 2011!!!!!!
why?
i like them there, they’re getting shot!
Tact fail. People dying is never funny. Support the soldiers but hate the douche that sent them there. And try not to be one yourself.
yes but if they’re getting shot there they’ll be hardly any unshot ones by the time they come to invade MY country
should be there’ll not they’ll
Well that’s a logic fail, people are constantly becoming old enough to join the army and many will.
Support them for shooting other people? Uh, why?
I don’t think it’s funny when they get shot, but anyone who invades a country with advanced weaponry gets what they deserve.
DAYUM!
pommes frites
What about them?
That’s pretty much the only thing I know how to say in French.
Tannenbaum.
Here’s another French word to go with your pommes frites: Le Big Mac.
Tanningbalm.
With a trufffled aoli!!! Mmmmmm!
But I thought Wallace Braveheart fought the Frenchified court …
so that we might all now call them …
.
FREEEEEEEEEEEEDOMMMMMMM fries.
.
(je suis tres désolé)
Uck, I’d rather be disemboweled by a large curved hook and then hung in the air for all the French to see.
I challenge you to a medieval duel.
3ea
Ugh…I feel SO out of place here…
*places Akira in a better spot* How’s that?
WIN!
What, no cyclists to kill? Ah well.
Does anyone realize that speaker 1 got some poonan? Epic win on the part of speaker 1.
I can’t imagine anything epic about sex that includes the phrase “May I come now”
Except that he/she did, in fact, come. Win for him, although I has a sad for the one whose dress was ruined and couldn’t catch up.
Maybe he was being a very bad slave?
Not so epic if it involves the phrase “May I come now?”
Yes, you may get yourself posted a second time now.
I thought the filter ate the first one. Patience fail. May say too much about me ;-P
C’est encore plus drôle en français!
Its even more funny in French!
C’est franchement tiré par les cheveux, l’allusion au sexe :\, a part être un gros pervers et avoir l’esprit mal placé faut le voir et encore, ça tient plus de l’interprétation personnel qu’autre chose. Bon y’a pas vraiment de fail ici
OK.
Reppa doesn’t see any fail and is pretty much convinced that people who saw a sexual allusion are pervs.
Once again, the translation in the handbook is perfect, to the point where the sexual meaning is OBVIOUS in both languages.
And I forgot to put my correct niquename back.
You should just cut and paste, VieuMove August 25th, 2008 at 5:57 pm And I forgot to put my correct niquename back. Reply to this Comment
lol ouaip je me disais aussi, j’ai vérifié l’orthographe et pas de fautes
Is this the William Clinton limited edition autographed phrasebook?
(Comments are gay below this level)
*wonders how she got pregnant while gay*
immaculate conception?
Your mom.
correct!
Terrific coordination…wit win.
And I am gay so I’m glad someone specified where I should leave a comment.
*wondering further about lezzy Sara’s mysterious condition, I’m now remembering she once said something about a turkey baster …*
*wonders if Sara has been gleefully parking while driving*
Is there any other way?
*glee*
(Comments are gay above this level)
Yay! Yippee! Happiness and light!
Oh, wait…. that’s not what you meant.
What they didn’t say is that this lesson was taken from the dialog between Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky in the Oval Office.
Sorry I’m Chinese and I don’t understand French. So before you tell me to get the hell back to China, can someone explain what’s the joke? Thanks
In before YHBT
(Troll fail)
I thought the Chinese government had blocked the whole of the interwebs.
Because I lied and I’m not from China. Still don’t understand YHBT? Sorry I’m from U.S.
“Bill Clinton’s French for Presidents”
Sorry about that, I don’t see anything laughable. The translation is correct, and for once FOR ONCE it can open you imagination to some funny situation. Learning a language through a book of this kind is a real pain in the ass, so no trouble with adding a funny a two :p
I see for once for twice and a funny a two.
[token post because there are so many already that it's unlikely that anybody will actually read this anyway]
I read it.
so did I…
I couldn’t be bothered to read it.
It’s the only one I didn’t read on the whole site
The story of Bill Clinton’s life.
I am french and i don’t see where is the fail.
Sheesh that was a lot of talking. I forgot what the fail was…..
Older brother? Since when is a country that was founded later older?
I guess that would be like the time I asked my mum if I could have an older brother…
Y’all ain’t from arount these perts are ya?
Je n’avais pas compris l’allusion au sexe au début, là c’est plus clair. ^^
It’s all the more funny because that isn’t actually a mistranslation…it’s exactly correct, word for word. So I’d say this is actually an epic win on the part of the person who wrote the exercise and managed to get it past the editor…
We learned the verb “To inject” in Japanese class… figure that one out.
lol xD
id want to see the reaction of my french class to that exercise xD
trop tard isnt the actual fail ofcourse… its as if two are having sex and stuff
makes me want to know what the 1st 4 are XD
French words have different meanings so I don’t find this that funny since I under stand it.
Exactly the same meaning in french, really, even though “arriver” would fit better than “venir”, but it’s exactly the same thing,really
wtf is wrong?
the book is wrong. those words translate to “We surrender” “We surrender” “For the love of god, we surrender”
no, it doesn’t. speak almost fluent french, and ‘we’ in french is ‘nous’. do you see the word, ‘nous’ anywhere?
This is not a translation fail. Because that’s what it actually means. It’s more of a random placement fail.
Well… the worst is that it’s not even badly translated. It’s as dirty as that in french too…. never had such sentences to learn languages…
This is not actually a fail.
It s a real french commercial who have been done some years ago to promote the channel tunnel. It was like a survival kit sentences for London, others similars have been done too.
fail.
je ne suis pas bien a fonde parle. je suis des desole.
Et, je ne parle pas deutsh.
fail.
it’s in french
Lesson 5 was written for Bill Clinton.
What’s the fail?
It was an accident! I swear!
This definitely says something about me: I read through it like four times, trying to figure out if there was some funny translation thing I was missing, but it wasn’t until I read it through the fourth time, actually reading the thing in order like an intelligent, literate human being, that I got it.
I’m so slow sometimes. It’s ridiculous.
hmm… Fail