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insurance scam
you’re doing it wrong
initial lol, durr, you’re doin’ it right
Yeah, if there’s any way to run an insurance scam, it’s taking advantage of stupid people.
Like your mother
Looks like Meow mix may be someone who takes advantage of themselves.
Insult FAIL!
It’s like that old Discount Tire commericial where if you’re not satisfied, return the tire…and you see this guy throw it through the window
thats an old woman
motherfooking second
just you wait — wack is gonna hit that mother with his CAPS on
SECOND!
dammit
lol
Am I the only one tempted to drive through that? >.>
At some point, Someone or another is bound too.
d’oh … “bound to” …
but if Someone or another is feeling a little kinky, also …
“Paging Dr. Freud…! Paging Dr. Freud…!!”
Sometimes a typographical error is just a typographical error.
P.S. I don’t think Sigmund Freud would know how to work our magical video typewriters.
of course he would. it just has to be a very very VERY shiny magical video typewriter
With nipple keys.
And sometimes a lumberjack is just someone who cuts down trees, and skips and jumps, and likes to press wild flowers, put on women’s clothing, and hang around in bars.
I’m bound to be OK, too!
only if you sleep all night and work all day!
for he’s a lumberjack and he’s OK
Would you like spam with spam and spam? Or do you prefer Spam with spam, spam, spam, spam, spam and spam? It’s fun to charter an accountment and sail the wild accountancy. I’ve got two legs. People are stupid, obknoxious and daft, will we reincarnate? Every sperm is sacred, that’s why I like Chinese,
and I’m never rude to an Arab, it’s swell to have a stiffy though christmas in heaven isn’t dull and ugly but I think Aristotle was a beggar with a bottle. well sit on my face and tell me that you love me, I’ll sit on your face and tell you I love you too. Because I’m drunk. Comment FAIL. I’m quite sure. Eh?
Maybe you and Ssspaam, Ssspaam, Ssspaam, should sober up and make your posts more concise — though you are at least trying to be entertaining, while Sspaam ttrraammp’s just a whore.
Failure.
or clown car WIN
Go on then, I dare you.
Wtf u guys post so fast!
not fast enough!
That’s what a certain unnamed female said.
lol!
lol
Wasn’t me.
But I caught you on the counter, and kissing on the sofa. I even caught you on camera.
How do you explain that, my little foxy friend?
…it was the one-armed man?
Primo a scrivere che chi risponde a questo commento è un coglione.
Wrong language.
Language FAIL?
Reference to future fail WIN.
Ancora con questo MAGGnifico culo?
Che cazzo vuoi?
____
This posted in the wrong ass position …
____
MAGG here is writing puerile insulting italian once more. His post reads, “First to write that whoever responds to this comment is a dickhead.” Get a vita, imbecile.
Get a vita = Get a life?
I think he pwnd to me lol
si, vita = life
and MAGGot = il cazzolino d’una mosca (the little dick of a fly)
*brushes up CV*
*lubricates rotating shaft to transmit power through a variable angle*
la vita dolce
*perk*
*brush brush brush!!!*
*resumes!!!*
*retires!!*
(to my bunk)
*follows dragon to her bunk…*
*boots Loz out of bunk*
:p
boots? *masturbates*
Sounds like an invitation, I’ll take it!
Sweetie, if you’re in college, I’m old enough to be your…professor.
If you didn’t notice…I was referring to another thread where this happened.
To the hole “Italian thread”, I say VAFFANCULO!
You lack grace, disgraziato.
Sorry Taco but you deserved it.
How do u know?
Perche Italiano? Sei Italiano? Don’t know how anyone from the old country would find FAILS to be interesting at all. Come se dici “Failure” en Italiano?
un fallimento or una mancanza (a lacking) or MAGGnifico l’imbecile
Damn Fuzz, you must be 900 years old, because you know many things.
We Buddhists get around … and around … and around ….
*cocks an eyebrow*
cocks? *masturbates*
*cocks*
ass
air
coup de grâce!
Coupe de champagne!
Moine de Chartreuse!
Le Comte du Cabriolet!
Guy LaFluer!
I mean it!
Anybody want a peanut?
Ancora con questo MAGGnifico culo?
Che cazzo vuoi?
(This post was originally scripted as a reply to our Italian imbecile, little MAGGie. Apparently, sometimes a reply posted to the comment that appears last on the page at that time shows up as a separate post.)
Btw — in Italian an imbecile is an imbecile.
It’s possible to drive thru with a bike.
its possible to drive thru your ass with a bike!
Not even your date rape drug skills could pull that off, Ruffies.
yes
but the only person who would drive through there on a bike would be one those incredibly annoying smart asses and would probably then be shouted at for taking his bike into a “mega cleaners”
I like clean bikes. they are all shiny and stuff. And the girls like that you know shiny stuff. So if you’re bike is shiny and the girls like shiny stuff then you will get lots of girls if you have a shiny bike right.
…ye
i like your logic there
Shiny stuff shiny stuff shiny shiny shiny.
see it’s working already!!
*wonders if she should mention that Rogue is a guy…*
Ok then he is really in touch with his feminine side. Just like freud was. Plus if you name yourself Rogue, doesn’t anyone watch X-Men anymore? SHE IS HOT MAN!! And she said she would be attracted to my shiny bike!
Did you never watch “The Empire Strikes Back”? “Rogue 3″ was the callsign of Wedge Antilles at the Battle of Hoth. Yes, I’m a Star Wars nerd, and proud of it.
Yeah they are referring to his spaceship, And spaceships as everybody knows are always of a feminine form. I am one myself too. And I am also very proud of it! May the Force be with you!
You’re a spaceship? COOL!!
He must be of a feminine form… because all spaceships are. Even Star Destroyers, what with their massive size, their dagger-like shape and their surfaces bristling with turbolasers. Those are real feminine.
One day, young one you to will find out how much
Star Destroyers and woman are alike, but you mustn’t be scared of that day
as you will be a man when that day comes!
Women have turbolasers all over their body? Are you sure?
yeah. or at least i think they do. She blasted something at me. So yes
I think so, it must be!
if “she’s” blasting things at you then you met in the wrong kind of bar my friend
Ohh my friend you have got so much to learn…
Woman are weird…
You aren’t the first person here who’s called me a goddess, but thanks!
Kaalaamaazoo, though you say you are one yourself too, your avatar doesn’t look like a very feminine form to me. But you should indeed be proud — androgyny is hawt.
LOL … looks like we tagged team that boy/girl with a quickness. Lemme see, looks like someone’s still got a bit of rouge on ‘em.
i was actually referring to the star wars geek nerd thingy not to being a woman..
Looks like Herr Doktor Freud is going to be busy today.
every space ship i’ve ever seen has in some way resembled a
falice. (object resembling a penis)
phallus*
Phallus? *masturbates*
bourne’d = failus
loz’d = felice
Ergo, you = the root of all masturbation. Logical, no?
*masturbates*
tiamat = phap-lap
Yay! Friends!
::masturbates::
dragonwriter = friendsy
fuzz = (warm) fuzzy
let’s all nuzzle fuzz. pin him down!
(Do you honestly think he’s going to struggle against us?)
pun me up … equally!!
*nuzzles*
Your fur is so soft and silky, if I didn’t know any better I’d think you were an asse.
(this thread should be under the ‘Tie Down’ fail. har har har.)
Hee! Let’s play “guess the euphemism!
*”puns” fuzz*
a non-struggle fuzzle nuzzle rebound furry down tie down
(downy down down = hairy har har)
(but I’m just guessing)
♬ “Down, down, down, down…doooby-dooby down,
down, down, down…doooby-dooby down…” ♬
I think fuzz summed it up pretty well.
*masturbates*
(I just can’t help myself tonight)
Yay! It took a few days to get my internet up and running here. *masturbates*
Towel.
Whoever said I needed your towel? I do bring my own for times such as this!
Sorry to offend, I pro-offer my gaping mouth as a receptacle, with apologies. *Takes Tiamat’s towel*
Sorry, you’re not my type.
From an evolutionary perspective, I’m no one’s “type”.
I’m Type 1.
Since fuzz and the moon are one and the same to me, nuzzling him is a strange thought.
Enlightenment is like the moon reflected on the water.
The moon does not get wet, nor is the water broken.
Although its light is wide and great,
The moon is reflected even in a puddle an inch wide.
The whole moon and the entire sky
Are reflected in one dewdrop on the grass.
~ Dogen
The monkey is reaching
For the moon in the water.
Until the day he dies,
He’ll never give up.
But if he’d just let go the branch and
Disappear in the deep pool,
The whole world would shine
With dazzling pureness.
~ Hakuin
___
This is a great image. The monkey = our thinking; the moon = the living truth. Hakuin is saying we need to let go of our manipulative figurings out and let life’s beauty really have us. (I’ll post a url next for a picture of Hakuin’s monkey.)
The moon that pulls the tides along,
And sings her sweetest moonshine song,
Can soothe the heart whilst it cries “What!”,
Unless that moon is fuzz’s butt.
~K
You little monkey. (Monkey posts are on the way; they haven’t shown up yet.)
Shall I bang out a poemlet about your being a monkey, then?
I’ll let go my branch for you any time, you little banging Erato nymph.
I was just pointing out that your synonym generator seems to be broken.
What’s another word for synonym?
I don’t really think there is one.
*pins a “Captain Literal* button on Rogue’s lapel*
*looks up ‘thesaurus’ in the thesaurus*
*Googles “Google”*
*reflects on reflexivity*
although, as we all know
if you type google into google it actually breaks the internet!
ARITHMOQUINE
looks up dictionary in the dictionary
dictionary noun (pl dictionaries) 1a book giving the words of a language in alphabetical order, together with their meanings 2 any alphabetically ordered reference book
of course a dictionary would say that! … but how well do you know the dictionary? should you trust an alphabetised reference book you just met? you should meet this ‘dictionary’ in a public place to begin with. take things slowly and get to know this ‘meaning giver’. i hope you find love, but never judge a book by it’s cover.
[[quotation needed]]
(quotations won’t nest below this level)
“”
Quotations nested below this level n_n
Captain Literal? I didn’t know Lieutenant Literal was promoted. Congratulations!
*thinks it is incredibly thoughtful and useful of dragonwriter to wonder outloud*
*despises whoever thought that ‘thru’ should be given a place in a dictionary, along with ‘donut’*
(thankfully they’re not in my british one)
Nobody I know uses “thru” without the word “drive” in front. It’s just a commercial misspelling, like excessive use of “Z” or “X”.
That’s the scary thing, I’ve seen it used in a few other contexts as an accepted variant.
is ‘thru’ actually in the dictionary =|.
*Loses another bar on his faith-in-humanity-meter*
How many bars do you still have on that meter? Mine lost all bars long ago
You visit failblog and have any faith in humanity? o_O
i like shiny things … especially shiny red things
There is a tiny spot in my vision, and I am trying to chase it to see where it comes from.
You know, cars can be a whole lot shinier than bikes.
Yes cars can be shinier, and they hold more people. Then again having a shiny bike is a lot more athletic, and entertaining but actually having to peddle everywhere you go. Which is why you’ll never see me owning a bike… ever.
well, one can have a bike without having to pedal everywhere you go, can’t one ?
Also, bike = athletic (but highly possibly poor).
car = rich (and not necessarily not athletic)
(now pick one)
thppbpbpbpbbbtttt! I was richer when I didn’t have a car! And in better shape too…
i like to shine my helmet
let me give you a hand.
that would be lovely *masturbates*
*masturbates furiously*
Now now, Loz…don’t masturbate when you’re angry! It’s not good for you!
Oh yeah, I forgot about my blood pressure.
*masturbates in a calm manner*
Here. Towel.
Herhando Furioso
*groooooaan…*
(and no…I’m not faking it!)
Yourhando innamorato!!
I’d enjoy these operas more if I could understand what they were singing about…
*claps so others in audience won’t think I’m uncultured*
It’s pretty much masturbatory sillinesses all around, so clapping yourself is right in keeping with the story line.
nice job, sherlock!
wrong. you don’t drive a bike, you ride a bike. So there! take that. Omg Omg I so pwned your ass, hahaha w00t!
gloating like a half-w00t = self-pwn
Well, how can you expect to pwn others if you don’t first learn to pwn yourself…
Wait…that was “love” not “pwn”…
Nevermind.
Pscyclist–pwn thyself!
maybe shopping carts shall drive there through
You know, the car is probably supposed to pull up next to the door and the worker comes through and brings you your stuff. It’s supposed to be like McDonald’s drive through. You pull up next to the speaker to order and then you drive up next to the window to pick up your stuff. You don’t actually drive through the window where the guy is working.
djspacey — the drive-thru car bay is to the right in the photo. Someone either hung the sign in the wrong position or there’s been a visit to ye olde photoshoppe.
Overanalysis fail
nopes … it’s an under-(and too far to the left)-analysis
You can never to too far to the left, comrade!
Ok, from the perspective of the “Mega-cleaners’” door, the drive thru bay is
indeed to the left. Alors, vive la révolution.
…who the fck is cheeseburger?
In case you’re really asking, ‘I Can Has Cheezburger’ is the name of the main site related to Failblog.
Bourne needs an identity, and a clue to remind him where he is.
I
’ed
’ed for a little while.
.. even
I 8===D~
K, K, … and after quoting all those Japanese Zen poems for you … you call out more Japanese:
Sara has become an inari (a shape-shifting fox), and now here you go looking like a futanari (I guess that could be considered another sort of shape-shifting “fox” — look it up).
Damn morphodites.
I s’pose you’re just happy to see people smile.
But [sic] it’s time to put this here moon to bed.
*hugs and raspberries, monkeyshine*
The shame is I didn’t have to look up futanari. ^^
I saw the phrase “enlarged clitoris” and I’d seen enough.
Are you giving Bourne an ultimatum?
Well, he does have supremacy, after all.
An ultimatum matt be an unreasonable damon’d.
I don’t wish to be a cheesy failblog supremacist.
(My posting bunkmate here is overly gracious; “supremacy” goes too far — I merely aspire to have my position be an occasional male superior. And I am fine with her being graciously over me betimes, as well.)
Darn tootin’.
My car fits there…if a bicycle counts!
What I want to know is, with this drive thru fail, how can Mega Cleaners expect to compete with Soapy Rides?
So sad, there was no PhotoShop involved. I’m too simple for that fancy shmancy stuff!
It just shows how smart people are(n’t) in Oklahoma! I’ll be posting an even better one soon, so keep a lookout for it!
It’s a moped drive through, of course.
Nicefake
It pretty much sssuuks, Sssaam.
And yes, your posts here are some sssuuky ssspaaam.
You are doing a quite horrible job.
I’ve got three words for you: Shut the fuck up!
Consider Talonsofpeace, it’s friends, members and affiliates, ALL of whom will make a point to not visit your little site.
And how!
*s*
(Reminds me of the saying that the Buddhist teaching of impermanence boils down to just two words: “Not always so.”)
You know, a realised Buddhist would never view “fails” in such dualistic terms. The Buddhist version would be like “Photos of things happening in consensus reality” and that would be all.
*ker-POW!*
Oh shit.
*waits for little talon-gobbets go flying around the blog*
well, there’s doing stupid shit that impairs your likelihood of seeing past relative constructions (also know as karma)
and there’s opportunities for learning, at the relative level
and then there’s a final realization that there is a miracle going on — there really really is — and it’s everything
_()_
Okay, that sounds dirty! O.o
Talon-gobbets sounds like an STI.
I do not like cstarr.wordpress spam
I do not like it, Sssaam I Am!
I would not, could not visit your site
Would not, could not day or night
LOL!
Maybe THAT’s the age-appropriate level of talk Sspam man might understand.
I see a Burn Of The Week in your future.
Failure and win all at once!
Curiosity made the Failblog user check out a Fail-site. Nooo! How fail was it? On a scale of 1 to FAIL?
Arrrrgh! I keep waiting for him to reply right back to you so that your icons can say SOS.
*Spews gobbets*
It was a 0.5i
Not sure I’ve heard non-dualism described so, um, talond’ly.