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how about “Fart”?
You wanted to be funny. You FAILED.
Anyways, that is a french van, I guess, so for them that’s NOT a fail.
Yeah we’ve already established that.
Gonorrhoea’s fail was pretty hilarious though lol.
Being French is a FAIL!
Being a racist is a FAIL!
being French is a fail.
Omg.
Being told I’m a fail by a double poster sure is a fail.
Ohh, I get it now! Thanks!
We all know you eat your own farts!
Hows that even possible O_o
When you call Ass’Air, they’ll fart in your general direction.
And then taunt you a second time.
Watch out for falling cows!
Silly English connnnnnnnnnnnnnnniggits.
Fetchez le vache!
(This comment substack is made of pure win, btw.)
First by the way
First to fail, fart buster.
I thought it smelled like cracked ass in here…
It’s ok Sara, I’ll shield you from it. C’mere and nestle in my bosom.
(Saras wont nestle below this level)
That was below the belt!
*drinks*
You shouldn’t be drinking in your current state!
*grabs litre of whiskey from Sara*
*has a virgin daiquiri instead*
I read that as “vaginal daiquiri”.
I read that as “angel come over here and let’s have a drink and do you live around here often, hm?”
Show me a person who tends to NOT live somewhere often.
Hm, doesn’t quite work for me, but buy me a drink and maybe we can discuss it further.
Navy brats don’t live somewhere often.
the “by the way” was just extreme failage
in french, it sounds like “usefull” (ça sert => ass’air)
it’s supposed to be “funny” :p
Like BJ’s and Dick’s?
40’s and 9’s?
Thanks for trying, but it’s “assurance air”
+1
sorry to piss on your parade but it’s not a fail if it’s a french company.
still funny, but not a fail
Exactly. You can’t expect a company to think about what their name might mean in every other language on the world. I don’t know about French, but in German, Ass means ace. Nothing wrong with that.
I think you can expect a big company to check out what its name means in other languages. It is really not asking too much in this day and age.
Iz funny, Iz fail
An international company, yes. This is obviously not one of those.
coca cola- find out what that means in chinese
http://www.snopes.com/cokelore/tadpole.asp They found out BEFORE they marketed their name in Mandarin.
BTW, “Cola” in Spanish means ass… so.. it’s the same situation here.
Isn’t that “Culo”? “Cola” is a completely different thing entirely.
“Cola” is Spanish for “tail”.
The children in some Spanish-speaking areas have a thing where they tap your head and say “Co” then your back and say “Ca” then smack your ass and say “COLA!”. They seem to get hours of enjoyment out of this, or as some of you would say “they find it lolarious.”
However it is also used in a similar way to how Americans use the word “tail” as in “Chasing some tail.”
I apologize for my first post on this wonderfull site being so informative. In the future I will strive to add more humor, wit, irony, sarcasm, paridox and possibly some unintended enuendos.
mais le oui! c’est le french!
you fail at french, clearly. :p
Vous failez!
Je faile, tu failes, il/elle/on faile, nous failons, vous failez, ils/elles failent?
The new phrases for failblog!
win.
oui. vous failez? oui.oui.
please ensure you use the facilities provided when you need to oui oui.
I think our enceinte friend is using them…
Where is Sara, anyhoo?
probably pissing in a completely inappropriate place, knowing her.
You are so very right. Well, I brought an entire pile of pregger-pants for her, should she need them.
nice conjugation
nice jugs
If it’s a French company it can’t possibly be a win
Francophobe.
Make way for the FRANCOPHONE!
*ring ring*
Allo
Oui bonjour
bonjour monsieur! j’aime votre téléphone!
Je voudrais acheter une baguette… xD ça faile
Comment peut etre possible que je suis un ‘francophobe’ si je parle francais? Fous le comp.
tu ne parles pas le français très bien. désolé.
“I have a Volkswagen Cabriolet — it’s French.”
~ Paula Poundstone
Oooh! I’ll have a glass of Cabriolet, if you’re pouring!
*holds out wineglass*
jus’ don’ drink and drive at teh same timez
It’s “Assurance Air”, I don’t see any fail!
You seem to have an air of assurance about you.
mais, oui, c-est Francais
mais oui, c’est le français*
“c’est français” is correct.
It means “it is French”, like it was intended.
whaaat there is another language than English on this planet???
Yeah, only one though.
Wait, I thought it was just English and English sign language!
English sign language lmao.
a French assignment
Is that anything like an asse-ignment?
the real Sara J would resemble that remark,
at least by assignation
Hilariously, it is a cleaning company, it seems.
I love that one of the tags is ‘fail’. I would’ve thought that goes without saying lol.
I think the combination of the name and the logo together are quite amusing.
maybe it’s just because it’s late, but the logo looks like abstracted penetration
My friend, you have watched way too many pr0n films.
wtf is pron? is it anything like porn? but maybe its themed to the movie Tron?
i don’t watch much porn, i’m just an artist.
wow. you REALLY think bondfan Accidentally put a Zero after the R??? no it was on purpose. I’m a proud EXPERT in “pr0n” spelling styles, and that spelling is way cooler than t’other one. (any pr0n themed toward any movie is SUUUUCKKKY, the sucky without happy endings)~~~~~
I’m pretty sure Adoni knew what BondFan meant :p
But I’m sure he appreciates that unnecessary lecture.
But who is the bigger llama: the man who knows -nothing- about pr0nz, or the man who knows -everything- about pr0nz?
Definitely the llatter.
I’d llike to agree on that point.
um, here’s where you’re wrong. It is not “pr0nz” it is pr0n. pr0n is singular and plural. (remember, i’m the expert here) Also, why are we arguing about the size of our “llamas”?? If that’s what we’re calling it, then my “llama” is bigger. Mine is usually bigger than most men’s.
oh, sorry, I was using old3 sch00l l337 sp34k.
I don’t expect you young’uns to understand it all, don’t worry
0I-I, 1 5p341< 73I-I 1337 5p341<, //V\ ‘/ 900D //V\4I\I.
(Translation: Oh, I speak the 1337 speak, my good man.
*tries hard to read 1337 5p34k* {ah!!!}
*sees translation* {oh… just got put in my place didn’t i…}
Im not much a fan of “leet speak” but it looks like you spelled THE wrong.
that’s teh point
lol, your 13337 5p34k was severely messed up.
01d 5ch001 1337 5p34k would be much better.
dont go around trying to be all cool and leet…..especially
when you dont even do it properly…
The man whose in the pr0n is the ‘biggest llama’
yes, bigger “llamas” usually get them INTO pr0n vids. Again, I don’t see why we have to use that silly animal’s name when referring to man’s meat.
im glad you are cool enough to know “all about pr0n” but i could care less. i know what he meant, but that has nothing to do with the fact i think its too close to Tron.
and i never saw the movie, but how can a movie called “Edward Penis Hands” be bad???
*googles “edward penishands” * *eeuuuuhh* *hahahahahah* *eeuuuww*
yeah, apparently it CAN be bad!!! Thanks for the reference. I am the MASTER at spellings of pr0n, but I have a very limited history with Actual pr0nographic material.
Well, as you are supposedly the “expert” you dont seem to have anything to back it up. as for credentials, I used to work at a “pr0n” shop, as well as fetish conventions, fetish parties, bondage balls,rope bondage classes, etc. and one, to try and brag about the size of your wang online, leads me to assume you are lacking. and even if you arent, the HUGE ones arent good for average girls. most girls like GIANT penises the way i love GIANT boobs, they are cool to play with, but usually not what you want for long term. ( by giant i mean over DD )
wow, can i come over for some lessons? wait… are you a guy or girl? ’cause sex lessons from a guy would be a little disturbing. Also, what do you mean by the long-term needs? I am joking about the monstrosity I say i have, but what is the “perfect” size then? *conferring all titles of EXPERT, MASTER, #1, to Adoni with shame*
%%% and just for the record, i don’t think the van logo resembles any sexual activity. HAHAHA. the email address is Ass.Air@free.fr.
wait, someone’s sticking their ass out in the air and it’s free?? What are the rules and regulations here?
THANK YOU!!! (you finally spelt it the “right” way)
for the rest of you, DONT google edward penishands. it’s disgusting.
Adoni, I’ve come to expect better of you. “I could care less”? *rage*
I don’t understand why I hear so many Americans saying that these days when they mean ‘I couldn’t care less’.
but see, i truley could care less, if i had cared less, i wouldnt have wasted me time writing in here haha. ( so still true
)
[ nice to hear you have expectations from me tho ]
wtf is too much pron?
What you have when you spend all your days infront of your computer jacking off and you lose your job and your friends because of it.
And no, it’s not your mother.
It was a rhetorical question.
Really? Didn’t sound like one. (Or Look like one)
haha yeah!
It’s more like the moment just before penetration….
You know – actually was going to write something quite nasty here but my christian upbringing has just prevented it! I am a people person!
Borrrring! Failblog is no place for religion! Be nasty, go on!
I”m a Christian, too. I can handle it…!
they are calling your bluff
now that you say it, absolutely.
“ASS Air, Delivering dreams”
in a big van with very tiny wheels
you’d do anything to distract from the size of your wheels, too, if they were *that* small.
I think the wheels are a completely adequate size….
Low standards!
Maybe the tires are just dwarfed by the sheer enormity of the van…
Hahaha. So your “van” is so enormous that it dwarfs (dwarves? haha) your “wheels”? Impressive!
So long as the “wheels” get the job done, and there aren’t too few or too many, I think they are sufficient. The focus should be on the “van” anyway… that’s where all the magic happens!
You should take your van to ‘Soapy Rides’ when it gets dirty
I hear they do a very good job there.
I don’t think it would fit in their “facilities”….
In that case I suggest you wash it by hand in the privacy of your own home…
Well, I still need help… I can’t quite reach the top part on my own.
I have a step ladder if you would like to avail of my services.
I’m cheap, too!
Are you thorough? Making sure every last square inch is covered is VERY important to me….
Oh, extremely. I’ll even polish the bonnet for you and clean out the tubes in your engine. If needs be, I can bring in an assistant.
You know what they say… many hands make light work!
But too many cooks spoil the broth…
Damn these contradicting clichés!
This thread is innuendo WIN.
Oh, but three’s company, four’s a crowd! So long as you only have one assistant we should be ok!
Oh, good point! But if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen!
…er…
Damnit, I can’t see the wood for the trees.
I think all you can see is the wood, actually…!
It’s obscured by the trees though… I think you need a spot of deforesting…
I can help you out in that area, too!
*whips out jumbo sized razor*
don’t worry, i’m professionally trained.
Five of the scariest words ever written.
I have a rule about sharp objects coming in close proximity to my prized possessions….
You’re professionally trained? In WHAT?
*smiles*
don’t you worry your pretty little head. just lean back now, this won’t hurt a bit.
Oooh, I just can’t watch.
*closes eyes*
*peeks through fingers*
I hope this isn’t an attempt to “slash my tires”….
If it would make you more comfortable, I can opt for the use of wax instead. More painful but I find it does a better job.
I think we have finally stepped out of the innuendo category…. I can’t think of a way to effectively remove trees with wax….
Oh, oops. Erm. *tries to think of a way to redeem herself*
You dirty minded minx….
I was talking about vans and trees! Honest!
I suppose enough wax could kill a tree, but that would take FOREVER(and a lot of wax)!
loz is a girl..lol!!
*facepalm*
Now don’t be too hard on “abstract”,
probably a Chinese Gymnast.
Wait, who has 4 wheels? That’s freakish.
In French, ‘van’ can be pronounced like ‘vent’ (=wind) which is another word for ‘fart’.
Looks like the Frenchman is providing General fart directions!
(ça c’est une référence du film de Monty Python, mon émouvant ami venteux)
It looks like they stole them off a golf car
theft fail.
kay… usually when -I- have ass air, it is delivering nightmares… to all my room mates >> … *evil laugh*
you sure those are dreams being delivered there?
I’m too lazy to write a decent comment.
that’s been clear for some time
Porka, ur an asse.
A small foxlike animal prized for its fur?
from South Africa.
I appreciate your honesty, I guess… But are you sure it’s really laziness? Maybe you’re being too hard on yourself and it’s just intelligence.
ass’ means here “assainissement” (sanitation in english) but indeed it’s quite funny in english
*wonders if they use windbreakers when they take their ass’air assailing*
*wonders if they use stealth when they take their ass’air assassinating.*
*doesn’t even want to think about S.B.D.’s and ass hair on hashish*
Wait, so even though its completely understandable in another language, it can still be funny? I thought that was against the humor rules of failblog. I don’t feel so guilty for laughing now. Perhaps I can get on with my life.
I agree with porka.
Have you noticed the subtitle ? It’s “Cleanliness”.
What a coincidence. I’m subtitled cleanliness too…
Do your subtitles come in French though?
Well, Adoni, your name would imply you are next to godliness.
(as opposed to being godliness itself, I mean)
im very well aware of that thank you for informing though
which would be an interesting way to describe something with the word ‘ass’ in it wouldn’t it?
FIRST!
THIRD!
SECON… wait, what?
2^2
πth!
Well played Mashirafan.
I think they would like clear the “error” of this ad
well, my farts smell like roses…
no, hun, your roses just smell like awful, skinky old man ass… I’m sorry to be the one to tell you -_-
31 means just man ass, not old man ass. *sniff*
oh, and is anyone else getting annoyed by the stupid ads popping up all over the place. ad-rage…building…
adblock plus
i get pop ups all the time, they can be really frustrating and it makes it uncomfortable to stand up.
do you get pop-ups because of the porn pop-ups?
all the time.
hahahahahahahaha. YESSSSS. The only way to stop a pop-up is to bang it down, again and again and again. Just keep banging until it isn’t a pop-up anymore!
Keep banging until something else pops up. In the style of ‘Drainage fail’ haha.
and hope the water sprays for just as long
This entire comment section is fairly bursting of sexual. Mmm… bursting…
You can whittle away a boring a very boring afternoon very enjoyably, if you go to random websites, then click on the first pop-up you see, and follow the ad chain. You discover some very interesting websites.
Damn it. *erases first boring*
You meant to say “a a very boring”??
Personally, I read “a boring a very boring” as kind of exciting.
(And then there’s those websites for boning a veritable boning.)
Yeah, totally. Mmmhmm, totally meant to say that.
My drainage only bursts like that when it has been backing up for DAYS…
hahahahahahah!!!!! Adoni, we need to say something non-sexual now. It’s beginning to sound as if i’m a sex-crazed little boy…
So…. um….. how ’bout them cowboys???
They give me pop ups ALL THE TIME! haha jk.
i dont watch sports.
what do you watch? i’m watching the olympics this week, but I keep wondering how far the athletes will push the limits on decency. Those gymnastics girls are fairly naked through those skimpy leoTards. O.o I’m sure some people have nominated gymnasts for decency fails… or see-through Wins!!! XD
honestly, i only watch scrubs and law and order. maybe the Ghost hunters show on sci fi. im not home very often.
and yeah, the gymnasts have been posted in a certain disgusting ice cream advertisement.
and how old are you? those gymnasts are like 12!
yeah, they’re definitely not ripe enough. I don’t care what the passports say, those girls are REALLY young. how old am I?? old enough, i guess. I pay bills and I can go to adult jail, so that means all i need from the gymnasts is parental consent, right? BTW law and order SVU is the best, and the only one I watch. I didn’t even know there were different kinds.
“Ass” doesn’t mean anything in French (usually it’s an abbreviation for the French words for “association” or “assorted”) but “cul” (pronounced like “cool”) does — it means “ass!” So what’s a French air conditioning company supposed to call itself?
What about “Climatisation Fantastique!”
The company can name it whatever it wants to name it. Since its a company in France, that name seems completely reasonable. We dumb old English speakers are still allowed to laugh about it.
you missed fr’s point/joke.
I guess I did. So sorry.
You missed fr’s joke.
/point
Here it’s “assainissement de l’air” (air cleaning up).
What is “ass air” in US : butts fart ? a pleonasmic tautology !
In fact it’s a laptop company….
ass’air = Acer.
I saw a car like this a few weeks ago.
But this one was some kind of cleaning company. (and it was in Slovakia)
ASS = absolut schnell und sauber.
I saw it too, naturally.
Good use of plural apostrophe. Singular – ass, plural – ass’. Oh… that thought just makes me want to puke!
Semantic fail ftw
Uhm, no. It’s not there for any grammatical purpose; it’s probably just for the look. The French don’t use apostrophes, EVER, to pluralize.
and you don’t see why this is a semantic fail? Meaning is derived from perspective… From my English speaking perspective, this is funny when it is not supposed to be. Don’t give a rats arse about French plurals.
how old are you? don’t you realise the plural of ass is asses?
apostrophes aren’t used to pluralise in english.
Eh, English doesn’t use apostrophes to pluralise either. EVER.
When you absolutely have to clear the room now, try Ass’Air!
It’s a french company, ass=assurance
Petit bonjour de France !!!
That’s a French van. Yeah, it’s funny to an English-speaker, but that doesn’t make it phail.
Oui, ce n’est pas comique pour une personne Francais.
Francaise*
Ah, oui monsieur. Car je ne suis pas Francaise – ah screw it.
Siiiiii !!!
That’s French! *smoochsmoochsmoochsmooch*
moi je le suis
bonsoir, je suis français et heureux de constater que ma langue vous intéresse tant *caresse mon llama*
so it’s “Donkey Air” is it…
at least they didn’t spell it Arse Air.. my then the fart jokes would really fly
Well if FAILS go across languages, then here’s one for you anglophones of the world.
“Sale” means “dirty” in French. Yet you guys hang that word all over in your clothing stores. Yuck !
And “gift” means “poison” in German.
Want more ? Learn another language.