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Cheezburger Network Blog
i love hand jobs
AAAAARGH ALMOST FIRST!
AAAAARGH… Almost a tw@!
What’s a tw@?
a tw@ is almost a tw@t…
No, ‘tw@’ IS ‘twat’ because @=at, so tw+at=twat.
yes but “random comment” adds 2+2 and makes 3.
poor guy.
Ah, well that explains it. Poor fella.
Only for very low values of two.
If you insist on spoiling the fun with maths, I’ll have to reply that tw@ =/= tw@t, as, by your logic, tw@t = twatt… Way to burn down the bush I’m beating around, pal
er, no one said tw@ = tw@t. you were the one who said that.
fail.
Whatever, I just want the hand job.
Don’t we all.
*raises hand*
Could do without, thanks!
No beating around the bush for me.
Um…yeah. I’m with Sara. That sounds painful.
beating around the bush? new form of masturbation? *is intrigued*
*mutters*
damn women don’t know the power of a handjob…
could do without the soap though lol
I said a tw@ is almost a tw@t – reading fail, so long and thanks for all the fish… *shrugs and leaves*
err. whatever.
tw@ tvam asi
(and I mean that it the classycist way)
I know thou art, but what am I? :p
a burning bush
Oh, you have NO idea…
*mind reels with the implications*
*readies his … mmm … thermometer*
she is a redhead after all…
(redheads will most definitely cuddle below this level)
*cuddles*
*cuddles Dragonwriter*
Get a room!
this has to be in the uk. when i was in england last summer i saw this on one of the gas stations and someone that lived there had to explain that it was a self-done car wash. actual hand jobs over there is called “bashing”.
It’s also called a hand job in the US too.
There have been cases almost yearly of churches trying to sue car washing places for vulgarity when its been called a hand job for decades.
Well, I know where I’m going for MY birthday.
You’re going to give hello a hand-job on your birthday?
Yes. Yes I am. Does he pay?
I have no idea. How about you ask Captain Bratwurst?
i sometimes pay but it depends on the quality
I’ve always gone for quantity over quality in this particular instance. But that’s just me…
Did i tell you guys about the -worst- handjob i’ve ever had?
..It was AWESOME!
One can get “finished off” at any number of massage parlors, with prices ranging from very cheap (Tiamat’s mom) to extremeley expensive (Talonsofpeace’s mothers, group orgy). It all depends on how deep your wallet(s) go.
WIN
that’s because you’re desperate
This looks like a WIN to me, not a fail….
Hmm… exactly what I thought when I first saw this pic.
I would argue that’s a WIN personally…
Probably good for business though…
I wander if that car-wash has japanese girls cleaning the car’s windows with their breasts soaked in detergent and water… *sighs*
Blonde japanese girls, apparently.
You wander if?!?!?!
Engrish – FAIL!
No, he was saying he was going to wander if it does.
actually that would be an Engrish Win
only it’s just misspelled not poorly translated
Thank you, you are my new favourite hero. <3
Wonder fail.
*favorite
Unless of course, you’re from the U.K., in which case you’re my new favo(u)rite.
*or Australia or Ireland or pretty much any other english-speaking country :p
how dare you correct a perfectly normal and lovely word?!
silly americans coming along and messing with our language. hrmph. :p
Damn. Gotta hate those Americans. >.>
You said it!
I had this realiSation that our language is very coloUrful and is my favoUrite.
Point of Information: Ireland and Scotland are in the U.K. As Australia was once a English prison colony, my comment is correct. You don’t give “Americans” enough credit. (As we speak French, Spanish and English as well. See: North America, Central America, South America).
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
Northern Ireland is part of the UK. The Republic of Ireland is its own sovereign state.
i LOVE you. i think you may be the first american i have come across who actually realises that i, being northern irish, live in the UK.
.
although to be fair, we can have dual nationality and i have both passports.
.
have some *uber cuddles*
Ooo!
Sharp shooting Dragon, you have found today’s Waldo.
Now now, let’s not get pedantic about using the word ‘American’ to refer to someone from the United States. That’s an old argument.
And, as Dragonwriter pointed out, Ireland is not in the UK. UK = England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland.
Oh, and Australia was a British prison colony, not just ‘English’.
Glad we cleared that up
Me too. *Enjoys some hagus*
It’s spelled “haggis”. Ye gods.
Borges would be appalled.
I am you’re spelling/grammar shadow, Dragon. Please do not hate, my sordid leavings give new lessons to the wurld.
‘Ireland’ is not in the UK. The six counties which form Northern
Ireland are but the other 26 counties which form the Republic
of Ireland are independent and have been since 1922.
And Portuguese, you insensitive clod.
WHO FORGET MY MOTHER LANGUAGE?! DON’T FORGET WE F**** DISCOVERED YOUR SO CALLED LAND (or kingdom, as it looks like from Bush’ words!
um or everyone’s favourite, little known country, Canada.
your anal grammar/spelling cool-on-the-internet points have been removed. your new balance will appear on your next statement.
thank you for banking with FIRST!!!11!1!1 National Bank.
Actually it’s not misspelled, it’s the wrong word entirely. So technically it’s a grammar fail.
Did you type this one-handed by chance?
Translate server error.
One-handed? *masturbates*
*masturbates*
Look! No hands!!!!
*Summons back remote controlled Orangutan masturbators.*
Yeah, I don’t think that’s a fail at all…just good advertising. My guess is that they put it that way on purpose, knowing the innuendo.
Acutally thats an epic WIN
grammar fail.
conclusion win!
INDEED
++win
Yeah, how is this a fail.
= Win!
Acutally, you’ve failed.
Looks like someone’s mom’s reputation is in danger
look at the bikini girl washing the car…. subliminal advertising WIN!
I still think it is intentional.
“What kind of billboard were you thinking for your new carwash?”
“Oh, throw a double-entendre and a bikini-clad blonde on the sign, that will bring in the suckers hoping a hot chick will wash their car!”
“But you stand to lose interest with the female demographic…”
“Screw them. They never get their cars washed anyway. Pandering to men’s baser instincts is the quickest way to get rich.”
I think there marketing has worked. I want to go there.
Obvious…
I, too, think that there, marketing has worked.
Reworking grammar fail with punctuation WIN!!!
I’m with you, Joey, not a fail. This was intentional.
Yup, we get guys to clean our cars. If they take it here to do so, so what? This car wash wins all around.
Nothing subliminal about it. Pretty blatant.
Me likey.
How happy is the ending?
It’ll cost ya to find out.
It’s probably intentional. Advertising WIN.
Indeed. I’m certain this WAS intentional, and therefore NOT a fail.
haha agree it was likely intentional! WIN!
I actually heard about this on my local radio station. I don’t remember where it happened, but the city shut down the car wash because of it.
aww… *sad face*
now THAT is a fail.
where is this place? I see a road trip coming up very soon!
This is in the town of Goole in Yorkshire.
I live there.
The valeting is done by guys only :S!
“Wash, wax, w*nk”. I think I just sorted out their strap-line.
why did you self-censor the word wink? Wink isn’t naughty. It’s subtle & clever.
Much like your name.
unless that was an ‘a’ not an ‘i’. still lame but more understandable.
lol. joke-understanding FAIL.
Now what other word may it be rather than wink… What may it be? Suggestions anyone? I’d like to make clear that w*nk is the word you’re trying to find, Capt’n, what do you think is the missing letter? Can’t be “i”, I’ve already failed you for it, then what is it? Here’s a clue, the letter is a vocal.
I don’t think you’re displaying enough humility.
Maybe he just misspelled “Humiliate”.
You mean it’s a vowel?
Straps?? *masturbates*
Wait a minute…they wash your car as well?
Looks like it!
Get a hand job while they wash your car.
…
genius
That’s a win, absolutely!
Even cars like happy endings.
Management Fail. Their valet driver was obviously geting free samples on the job: see Parking Fail.
People need to stop submitting deliberate things like this as a ‘fail’. They use the word ‘hand-job’ to cause a buzz — and I am guessing it worked.
Aww…look, someone’s jealous of the person who took this picture. Not getting enough action?
That doesn’t make any sense at all. Why would I be jealous of who-ever took this picture, or added the caption on it? The former simply got to see a sign in person, the latter cannot tell fail from win.
Failing to see the joke FAIL.
Exactly.
Even HaveUTheenMaWeena saw this one. But I guess I have to spell it out for you. You’re jealous of the person who took the picture because if they saw that sign, then I’m assuming that they went there and you haven’t. Meaning that they got a hand-job and you didn’t…
Naw, I have a discount card and get a ‘hand-job’ for my truck about every week. Anymore and it is absurd.
As to sex, my fiance and I enjoy that often enough to have no need to pay for it.
Someones wading in the Nile.
GAH! HavU, gimme back my apostrophe!
I love it when people brag about how they get sex.
And by “love it” you mean “imagine a pimply guy in his mom’s basement eating Doritos and wanking off to the Elvish girls in World of Warcraft”, right?
Hey, leave Tiamat’s mom out of this!
I don’t see why anyone should leave my step mom out of any insult. I mean, Dragonwriter thought up the perfect description for it.
Yes but how often do you do it together?
That was supposed to be a joke? Wow, joke fail!
That was supposed to be a joke? joke fail!
That was supposed to be a joke? joke fail!
I’m jealous of the person that took that picture!!!!
I could go for a good “car wash”.
how bout’ a drive thru? ;]
You…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………Perv!
i scrolled for my own insult!
that was out of jelousy i know it!
*jealousy
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE! (Scroll to the right please) ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..Thanks.
No, I don’t wanna.
I’ll play the back nine.
Fail hell! This is brilliant marketing.
Looks to me like it was intentional. I’d say this is a win, not a fail.
this is an outrage. i see no fail here.
Maybe not, but I do see your girlfriend.
she told me she quit working at the car wash.
Well, I can see her “washing” a “car” right now. My “car” that is.
And by “car” you mean your penis, right?
BTW, I gave your mom the money I owed you… while I was getting my car washed.
And by “car” I meant penis.
Ahh good, other loyal customers to Tiamat’s mother.
and by “washing”, you meant rubbing the “car” all over with a hand inside a furry, warm, soapy glove…..
Suburu – right???
Toyota!
Then parked it on a Ferry and tied it to the dock.
Subaru*
Sbarro*
Get some pizza pie!
Poked or unpoked? I’m serious. :[
Poked, naturally.
And don’t laugh, I’m serious :[
As opposed to an un-natural poke?
bend over and i’ll show you an unnatural poke
lean over and i’ll show you an unnatural poke.
How many different ways are you going to kick that horse?
So what you’re asking is paid or unpaid?
If you like your pizza with mold on it, then yes Sbarro is a good place get get it. Otherwise, you might want to avoid Sbarro…
oh, that’s what you meant. that’s cool, we have an open relationship. but if i ever catch her at that car wash again, it’s over.
btw, your mom makes the oddest face when she’s gagging.
This is Madness!
Are you crazy?
Or possibly Sparta.
no, there’s not enough slow motion for this to be sparta.
Stompin grapes?
There’s some Sparta!
Just love the Pamela banner on this site!! GO PHONY !!
are you a robot?
If so, what kind of powers do you have?
I would assume he runs on direct current
I hear he can make 2 dozen cupcakes every 5 seconds.
yes just as I produce and pump 2 litres nice white liquid every 5 seconds into yo momma’s …
By the way, Pamela is still looking awesome on these banners!
all you ever want to talk about anymore are those stupid banners. where’s this relationship going?
I’ve actually seen an “exotic car wash” like this before…. it was attached to a strip club and the dancers came and washed your car. I saw it on a school trip actually, but we were unsuccessful at convincing our driver to run the bus through.
Gene Simmons Bikini Car Wash is branching out and diversifying, it’s just good business.
plus everyone knows silicone leaves a nice sheen on the paint.
It’s up against the tough competition across the street from Richard Simmons Bikini Car Wash – Washing and waxing your “car” one calorie at a time!
I fap to Richard Simmons every night.
Who doesn’t?! It’s the short-shorts that do me in.
You’re all just sweatin to the oldies, huh?
Who the hell wants to see Gene Simmons in a bikini?? Besides Peter Chris, that is.
also, what happens if you bring your hummer in for a hand wash?
You show the world you’re a giant d-bag for driving a Hummer outside of the military.
Then you go fill it up with gas for the 6 time that day.
So, fuel efficiency FAIL?
Givin’ yourself a little pat on the ego there, are ya?
more trying to make a joke that a hummer is (also) a sexual term.
i just wanted to be like all the other cool internet perverts
more importantly, will the wax my crotch rocket?
Might as well have called it Hand Relief
I went there asking for a hand job, it was very disappointing. So I went to a store that sold leaf blowers that promised the best blow job in town.
I found a restaurant like this. I asked the girl working up front if she was the one giving hand jobs. She said yes so I told her to go wash her fucking hands and make me a sandwich.
Seems deliberate fail to me.
Seems photo-shop fail to me.
moran.
moron*
meme fail
I beg to differ.
Cranberry juice will help your period
Does this really qualify as a FAIL? I think I agree with mystrdat and others.
NOT a fail.
This is actually a Win, not a fail.
PLEASE don’t stop building those rockets to point out that which has already been mentioned!
That woman on the billboard is so greasy, she almost looks like she’s made of metal.
Oh, my bad, of course, she’s WET, not greasy. Still looks metallic though.
*RogueThree making love*
“Oh my gosh, we better stop, I think you have an oil leak!”
Okay…you definitely need to find a REAL woman and stop playing with those Fem-bots of yours!
But… but…
Oh, who am I kidding?
Fembots?
*Masturbates*
wanna masturbate together?
*masturbates*
I fail to see the fail. It’s not like that double-entendre was unintentional, judging by the picture on the right. Just because something is “obscene” or “not family friendly” doesn’t make it a fail. It’s only a fail when it was unintentional.
Richard Herring anyone?
I’m not going to risk getting Herring AIDS from Dick
I think that they noticed they did that… It looks like something done on purpose
Mega Tycoon Wash for me, thanks.
Personally, I found in my junior high days soap + fondling the genisexuals = OW
Nothing like having a trusty valet to park my car when I get a hand job.
makes sense. Valet parking and an added bone-us
I fail to see how this is a fail. If anything, “best hand job in town” is a win!
You can’t fucking stamp FAIL on what are obviously JOKES
FAIL!
*obligatory rubber fist reference*
Oh snap! Your mom is going to be pissed, doesn’t she have that slogan copyrighted?
Eeewww…
This is not a FAIL, this is a WIN!! Where is this car wash?
This billboard fails just for using the horrible font called Sand.
Font Nerd… AWAY! *whoosh*
That’s not a fail, that’s a succeed.
Happy Car.
Failblog obvious ribald reference FAIL
Happy Ending!
I don’t think this is a fail. I think it’s meant to say “Hand Job” as a joke.
Unless they have carwash boys, i think it’s a WIN
Obviously not a fail.
Oh my!
Oh my my my!
Well how-dee-do!
Representative Sqeezy McFeelpants WIN!
uh that was def on purpose.
Win.
So that’s what you get if prostitution is officially illegal in your country, no fail here…
The new training school for lady assassins everywhere…
the car-wash with a happy ending.
Marketing win!
It can’t fail if it’s on purpose.
and the council made them take the sign down, the twats
that’s a win if ever i saw one.
This is a WIN.
Not fail.
It’s not really a fail when that was the point of the advertising….
Referenced by Hot Chick In Bikini Soaping Car:P
Fail submission fail.
isn’t that the point of the ad?
mmmmm.. hand jobs
Shut up, girly.
haha, this is in Goole, where I live!
i wish i was a car
Nothing fail about this. It is clear that this advertisement is using the terminology legitimately, catering to a male target gropu.
Yes, spelling fail I know.