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» 234 Failures in Communication
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Just so no one else can say it.
Thats a very subtle way to say first
How’s this for subtlety,
The Cap sounds like a bitch!
The brat makes ya scream like one
lol!
Just be sure to wrap that wiener before you dip it in the mustard, ya herrrrr? Play safe, everybody.
*Puts on football helmet*
*Prepares condom*
*pees her pants*
Fortunately I remembered to bring another pair for you today.
*hands over pants*
*shimmies into new pants*
You’re a lifesaver.
Oops, forgot to change my fake name back to my real name. Now everyone knows that I made my name Frank to make fun of Frank on another post.
Snap!
Oh snap again, my “Frank” post didn’t even show up, so now I’ve revealed too much information!
*places duct tape over mouth*
*OM my my!*
two frank admissions in a bush are a posting revelation for me
Om hell yes. Now if you’ll excuse me while I put on my party dress.
a parting dress
a duct taped mouth
I would have thee gone no farther than a wanton bird
Oh, don’t get your gyves in a twist.
blessed be the ties that bind
*plucks silken thread back again*
*makes the beast with two backs*
Oops, wrong tragedy.
*changes name back to Sara J*
Oops, wrong required name.
This shalt thou answer…I know thee, Fra…erm, I mean Sara J.
Know thee?
::flabbergasts::
Geez, whoddathunk you’d be so…so biblical?? :p
Soiled pants… condoms… new pants… duct tape… gender switching… party dresses… wieners in mustard… Shakespeare… damn. I picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue.
SNIFFING GLUE!!!!! ::masturbates::
::masturbates:: GLUE SNIFFING!!!!!
haha lol not a rapist
Felching is a sexual practice in which semen or other fluids are sucked out of the anus of a partner. The semen is ejaculated into the anus via anal sex. The act of sucking the semen and then passing it, through mouth-to-mouth or open-mouth kissing, is referred to as “snowballing”; although the latter is typically associated with semen ejaculated into a mouth from fellatio.
Felching can also mean the licking or sucking of another person’s anus, may involve the use of a plastic straw and is similar to the act of a rimjob (anilingus) [1].
MASTURBATION?! :masturbates:
i know its a reused joke but it never gets old…
Remember, kids, felching is a sexual practice in which semen or other fluids are sucked out of the anus of a partner. The semen is ejaculated into the anus via anal sex. The act of sucking the semen and then passing it, through mouth-to-mouth or open-mouth kissing, is referred to as “snowballing”; although the latter is typically associated with semen ejaculated into a mouth from fellatio.
Felching can also mean the licking or sucking of another person’s anus, may involve the use of a plastic straw and is similar to the act of a rimjob (anilingus) [1].
maturity WIN
Awh, I was just about to type that.
How the hell? And without visible damage?
I call set-up!
i hate to be ‘that person’ but it almost looks photoshopped…
however, it’s entirely possible for something like that to happen so i don’t know.
Gona have to agree with loz on this one.
It would have approached from the rear, so the damage wouldn’t be visible from this angle
my witty response won’t post :’(
Never visible until you pull out, but I don’t have to tell YOU that Gorgo
gasman-related posts are not allowed anymore, remember? :p
Lean over and I’ll approach from the rear.
thank you for saying that, i tried like 4 times to post and it wouldn’t work
*cuddles*
*cuddles* It just likes me better is all. But I like you, so it’ll be okay.
*joins in on the cuddles for no particular reason*
*sets up the camera
not now, lolcat! *boots*
*shoos oaway lolcattus with large broom*
Oh hello there little snugglers! I brought lubricant in case you didn’t make it to the car wash!
Awwww!! Don’t worry, lolcattus, you can haz cuddlez.
*cuddles lolcattus*
Golf!
Actually no, the Honda’s wheel drove up the corner of the Dodge’s front bumper, and continued up the A-pillar before slipping down and smashing through the window. You can see the tire marks on the Dodge’s bumper.
there is glass from the driver’s window on the ground.
obviously its fake broken glass…
*pondering two posted responses that have disappeared* Apparently there’s a cliché filter.
This is an outrage, we must march on city hall!
I mean, think of the children people!
Those clichés seemed to work.
A cliché on blog is worth two in the bush.
Now THAT would be a tight fit.
might burn
The burning bush bit worked for Moses…
Did it get him two birds? LUCKY Moses!
it got him I AM’s in a bush, actually
I call your mum. (Yesss..)
What do you call her?
my cumbucket.
My love boat (beta).
Tuna Town
Sugar Britches.
I like yours the best.
Naw, this is what happens when you give your car too many of the “Best Hand Jobs in Town” at Soapy Car Wash. They start mounting other cars.
Comment win!
Excellent observation!
farfignookie!
It’s not photoshopped, although I sometimes wish it were–I was the driver. Here’s a link to a series of pictures as the tow truck driver unmounted my Honda…
http://www.pugsnet.com/index.php?q=gallery&g2_itemId=1416
Wow, spectacular! Congratulations! *hi five*
We’ve got to know. How did you do that?
You suck at driving because you’re a woman.
Yes, How did you do that?
Not fail, car sex! Next big thing in automobile manufacturing!!!
Cars have wangs?!?!!?!?9!!?!
no, penises.
penii.
you fail.
I think that’s just the exhaust pipe, guys. :\
Some cars have balls, some don’t.
great, we try to develop cheap cars through natural reproduction, and there’s already a movement for car neutering.
.
“Fix your car–it’s the responsible thing to do!”
“Help control the GM population; have your car spayed or neutered”
Or be a hippy and go plaster “Stop” signs with “Driving” like they do all over hippy ass california hippy. Damn hippies.
My car’s wenis is changing the environment… ask me how!
HOW?
(Car wenises wont nest below this level)
Lean over and I’ll show you a wenis nesting.
It had to be said.
And I luv you for it!
We must do something to curb (ahem..) this wave of car reproduction running rampant in the world, or soon we’ll be overrun with go-karts! Also, someone should really put some sort of filter on all this auto-erotica..
Peni for your thoughts?
ask your mom.
Mounting fail.
Looks like a mount WIN!
Perhaps the driver of the car is a big Wii fan….
Maybe it’s time to put hydraulics on the Honda.
LOL. this is what happens when people like Elvira get distracted by their road rage for cyclists. (see Bike Fail).
i lol’ed. she is a scary force behind the wheel.
Yeah, that’s her in the picture, muttering “Damn! Missed another one!”
I belly-lol’d.
It happens all the time. Swerve to avoid the bastard wobbling on his bike and narrowly avoid running the car in the next lane into a ditch. Sad state of affairs.
Honda rock crawling suburban adventures win!
I drive a Dodge Stratus!!!!
FAIL
HOW… did…happen?
Ugh, my fail-sense is failing!
so is your grammar-sense! noooo!
But that’s probably beacuse of failboat radiation.
as long as your spider-sense is still ok.
Sorry, loz, but you fail. I believe it’s called “spidey-sense”.
Sorry,Timat, I believe it’s called “WHO THE F**K CARES”
I should really go to those anger management classes……
sorry, Tiamat. you fail for knowing that.
I fail for having a 4-year old nephew who watches Spiderman all the time?
No, you fail for watching it with him.
I don’t see how that is a fail, either. When someone babysits three kids, a five-year old, a four-year old, and a two-year old, they pretty much have to sit down and pay attention to what the kids are doing. I love my nieces and nephew, so I don’t want them to get into trouble or get hurt. Not to mention the fact that he wants me to watch it with him sometimes. I don’t want to hurt my nephew’s feelings…T_T
What? You actually monitor the children’s media intake? Parenting (babysitting) win; Americanism fail.
No, really, just let them play GTA4 off by themselves for a while. I am sure it will be okay.
TV show != cannon.
It IS “spider sense.”
Parenting WIN but correction FAIL.
It depends on which TV show you’re watching, I’ll assume. But the original was “spidey-sense”
I spiderman my kids all the time. Just give em a clean rag and tell ‘em to wipe if off and quit crying. They’re turning out fine, kind of. . .
Just toss that web around, huh?
Mommy, what does it mean when my spidey-sense is tingling?
Stay away from you Uncle Howie!
Methinks he protest too much.
uh huh, a “4-year-old nephew”.
pics or it didn’t happen. lol.
I could get pics if I felt it was worth proving. Except for the fact that I’m going to be about nine hours away from my sister.
4-year-old nephew? *masturbates*
(too far?)
Too far? *masturbates*
*feeds the next poster the cracker from the center of the room*
Awww, come on! Who says I wanted the ookie cookie?
Yes, its not your own offspring therefore you failed.
Well, what should it be then? “My fail sense fails?”. Help a foreigner, UNLESS YOU FAIL AT CORRECTING?*
*-probably a grammar-fail
Somebody set up us the bomb!
All I can really say is “huh?” because I can’t figure out what the hell you are trying to say.
it’s part of the ‘all your base are belong to us’ thing
I feel bad for knowing that too
woman driving skillz WIN!!!
Sexism WIN!!!
Although I’m told sexism is bad, so you FAIL.
zip it, you male chauvinist. or i’ll trample all over you in my 5″ stilettos.
Some people will pay good money for that sort of thing!
::reaches for wallet::
new avatar! no more poo! woohoo! for this occasion, your trample is on the house
I know, I hated that thing and some kind soul pointed me to the gravatar site so I could change it. And please use the black stilettos, they are so…
je ne sais quoi?
Exactly!
some guys really like that
i know
gotta love a dominant woman…. haha.
You know, this does kinda look like a sexual fetish, now that you mention it.
A petite mini-SUV (CR-V) trampling a good reasonable sedan…
Hmm….
*tries on loz’s heels*
*towers over bloglits*
Hehehehe….
*stomples*
ouch! give them back! you don’t have a stomple licence!
Kinda looks like a dude behind the wheel.
Observation – FAIL!!
Just taking the car to get serviced?
innuendo WIN!
I had no idea that these SUV’s could actually go off-road.
What does that have to do with anything?
The fact that half of the SUV isn’t on the road anymore?
it’s a half-roader.
True, but it’s far from being off-road.
It was meant to be a small, witty retort. I’m sorry that you fail too much to appreciate that kind of thing.
I do, thanks.
Hey, what exactly is a spider-sense again?
It’s what happens between you and Spiderman every night.
Anti-SUV hippie fail
That makes no spider-sense!
And that ain’t webbing he’s shooting on you.
hump win! it’ll give birth to a hybrid!!! XD
i lol’d
I masturbated. *masturbates*
machine fetish? weirdo!
(*masturbates*)
Weirdo?
*masturbates*
masturbates? *masturbates*
kitty genocide? *masturbates*
murderous kittens? *runs*
Was driving back from the airport after picking up my brother. We looked over at the off ramp and some guy had managed to turn his car over and land it on its top in the middle of the ramp. Somehow he got his tires to get a grip on the wall of the ramp, it climbed it and turned over.
what’s an off ramp?
It’s the ramp that leads from off a highway. Where are you from? I thought everyone called it that.
Slip roads in the UK.
ah ok. still a pretty bizarre event.
Call 911.
999
damn you beat me to it lol.
Actually the new one is:
0118-999-881-999-119-725-3
I wouldn’t be giving out your phone number on here, Gorgonzola.
No, only suckers call 911. Here is the REAL number: 912.
stonecutters! *lifts top to Joey revealing my boobs…in a secret stonecuttes tee that is* ;D
Four! I mean five! I mean fire!
In the US, the new emergency number is 867-5309
But this phone only has a 1, a 2, and a 3…
Wow, that’s skill. What was going through his mind? “I’m Vin Diesel! [wha-BANG!] Oh crap, I’m upside down and there is no movie budget to pay for repairs.”
Is the guy getting out to see if he parked ok??? xD
it seems so
how was he even able to do that…omg…
And this is why you DON’T use your rubber fist while driving.
i just use the gear stick instead.
No worries! It’s slightly used, with minimal stains!
From pink taco sauce?
Shitbox damage WIN
lol wow. How would you even DO that unless it was intentional? LOL!
Did you get a chance to check out the Failwash?
I was asking the same thing…
It appears that the Failwash has broken down while you were in it. I’m sorry, but it won’t be back up and running for another week or so’
How did my period end up there? That’s really strange, not to mention that it elongated itself. Period with a boner!
reminds me of myself and your mother last night…
Sounds…dirty. May I join? *masturbates*
you are sick.
Only sometimes…only sometimes.
maybe it was a revenge attack ’cause the other guy slept with his bike.
Wow i heard of interespecies relations, but that is just a new way of freaky xD
ohh logic win!
Lucky for the other person he’s not driving a Hummer.
lol, I’m not very good at parallel parking either! (I’m not that bad though)
not parking fail, vehicular reproduction win!
You get off on this, don’t you?
I know I do.
why, do you?
Actually, that would take a lot of skillz….
Are those Texas plates? Nice!
the women are at it again with their parking skills
No no nooo, not park my car–I said PAKE my CARP. But I understand how you might get a little confused.
Parking in window. WIN
The car has Texas plates, no wonder the other one mounted it..
Yeah, I don’t see any horns…
Oh…so THAT’s where Kias come from…
My car seems to like your car. Maybe we should park together more often.
Honda USA’s latest response to the claim that GM SUVs are better in off road handling
Someone on the street yelled at me the other day for almost running him over w/ my Honda CRV while parking.
There’s parallel parking, and then there is skew parking
How does that even happen
Well, when two cars fall in love…
how is this even possible…
“CHEWING BRANDO GUM IS LIKE HAVING SEX WITH A TRACTOR TRAILER IN A PARKING LOT!!!!”
See? It’s not just the women drivers!
Seriously, how the frick did he manage to do that?
WOW xDDD
It’s not the driver’s fault, his car was just needed to mate.
whats so fail? I personally always park like that…