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Cheezburger Network Blog
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Cheezburger Network Blog
first BAM.
Second BOOM
If the guy who made the call wasn’t a cop, he’d be tasered out of his trousers…
Third KEPOW. If I had watched the video, I’d know what you’re talking about.
Fourth SHAZZAM! the video is basically some cop phoning emergency services because he thinks he’s dying from a weed overdose.
Trend breaker here, doin’ my job.
God bless you, sir…
Talonsofpeace, you didn’t watch the video? Little too busy makin brownies, eh?
He didn’t watch the movie so I don’t think he will get your reference to it either.
Nice one *tips hat*
Tenth KERPLOW!!!!!!
11th!! WHAT THE FU..BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!
Twelve inches of twelve! Dyn-o-miiiiiiiiite!!!
I don’t know if it’s my lack of sleep or not, but the first 4 posters made me lol.
no, it’s the poy brownies you just ate…call 911
*pot
In Hawai’i, they bake their poy into brownies all the time.
In Soviet Russia, poy brownie bakes you!
Hahahaha I don’t know if its just me or what, but you just made me lol till I cried hahaha.
no its not just you. i laughed so hard i might have poo’ed a little
spoil sport!
soil sort!
what do you want to know? i’m quite apt at pedology
That’s a nice churt you’re wearing, loz!
thanks! …but chert is a type of rock.
*sigh*
I fail.
but somewhere in a parallel universe, you’re winning to balance it out.
You all suck.
I do not.
I do not suck but all of you do.
Your boyfriends must be so disappointed.
i do not suck, you are so far into the closet that you’re finding Christmas presents.
And the present is anal beads.
And you are NOT disappointed.
lol!!!
Teacher: “Where’s the ‘P’?”
Bobby: “Running down my leg…”
Bobby Con! Bobby Con!
God I remember that joke, from when I was in FIRST GRADE.
You could have just as well said ‘chicken butt’.
yes but… that wouldn’t have been relevant to the thread.
soiled short!!
shit pants.
Scheiße-Hosen für den Gewinn
I pantaloni di feci.
I shat’d.
I panted.
No shit.
But it’s really GOOD shit Mrs. Preskie.
your avatar looks like the shit of a creative autistic child.
In Soviet Russia brownie bakes you?
You fail. There’s no Soviet Russia.
Really?
I find your lack of Yakov Smirnoff disturbing. Random 80s
FAIL!
“lack of yakov”
mellifluous tryptych… me likey
Fifth kaplunk lol im this vid made me lol and i think the cops ga
LOL epic comment fail
my avatar is better then youras tho :O yah i kno epic fail but what eva son lets all go to russia stick aan old tortilla down a random guys throt then make out with him
Just stop talking. You’re the f*cking George W. Bush of retards.
i live in mexico o.o…..
Now I see why most American politicians make border control such an issue, they don’t to import foreign retards if their own country is already Retardia.
Yeah, we’ve pretty much met our quota.
i agree
lol are you russian i just had to ask
…and?
Wait…so you are not too busy to comment, but you ARE too busy to watch the one minute video?
yea.. right… you’ve never been caught have you?
WOW……funny as hell
wow that cracked me up, i just heard 96.1 radio making fun of this.
you ate those brownies, didn’t you?
Classic marijuana induced panic attack. If he wasn’t an idiot, he could have opened some windows, drank some water, calm the hell down and not bring SHAME and FAIL to his family and his precinct.
seems to me like it was probably his first marijuana experience and he probably had happened upon some especially potent stuff.
aside from the shame and pathetic fail it’s damn hilarious!
Hail to marijuana expert.
oh well, ykno, such experience
Sadly my first marijuana experience involved mucho vomiting and visualizing a funeral procession on the porcelain tank of my parents’ toilet while a friend stood loomed over me eating a pot noodle and asking, as slow as humanly possible: ‘Aarree yyoouu aallllrriigghhtt?’
Good times.
Similar for me, except my “friend” shot me in the back with a pellet gun, kinda was a buzz-kill.
Ah, yes. With friends like those…
Who needs enemas?
dude, you’re good.
How many pots have you smoken?
what’s a pot noodle
what pisses me off is that they didn’t arrest them. police should be held to a HIGHER standard, not lower. the good ol’ boys club strikes again. welcome to america. it’s not what you do or how hard you work. it’s who you know and that’s no lie.
And i know krackle.
snap krackle mitch and pop
Repeat that over & over again!
Wooo, that sounds funky!
2 hedberg wins
Guys, guys, guys….OBVIOUSLY this is
-fake
-photoshopped
-old…seen it before
-the result of American stupidity and therefore not really a fail
-the oposite of what would happen in Soviet Russia
-all of the above
How could you be so dumb?
shush. shush.
ok, you do not put “all of the above” at the end of a list.
The point of a list is to LIST THINGS that are meant to be understood as true.
It’s not a multiple choice thing.
Of course it’s all of the above. We just read all of the above and we still think you’re an idiot.
oh shush you pedant.
Ooh, good word of the day!
Pedantophile
Someone who gets turned on by ant larvae?
COMMENT WIN
Ha!
Man. You are so killing my buzz.
Dave?
He’s not here.
Please leave a message after the tone.
but dave’s not here.
We read your 2 posts and we still think
-you’re a twat
-you’re too dumb to get irony
-it’s redundant to post 2 responses to one post
-your parents were mean for naming you laura michelle
-someone peed in your wheaties
-all of the above
hahaha high-five
well then fail on me.
ok *fails*
who is “we?”
This isn’t photoshopped, or fake… or any of the above (P.S. It’s also not a multiple choice quiz.)
This happened and was reported on in my state by WZZM 13 news.
http://www.wzzm13.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=75185 enjoi
Good to know you’re versed in the combat of pot-induced panic attacks. Where’s the shame and fail now?
If his fellow cops weren’t arseholes, they could’ve charged him for committing a misdemeanor (charging someone for a CRIME?! what an INCREDIBLE concept!) and not bring further SHAME and FAIL to the precinct.
Acutally it’s only a misdimeanor to have weed not to be high.
Good point 420 – Im glad he lost his job. I hate when cops confiscate my weed and then smoke it. Selfish bastards.
Had he done that his failure wouldn’t have been shared with the world. Thank you police officer for your pot induced hysteria.
“I think we’re dying” …come on, that has to be the best thing i’ve heard in a while.
First BAM? no… its First BUM
Getting one of the news anchors to snort!!! Priceless!
then she said, sorry.
she probably smokes a lot of chronic, too.
That made the whole newscast. “Sorry!”
i’m guessing someone isn’t going to make Anchor this year…
i don’t get all this ‘anchor’ talk. does it just refer to a news reporter?
You didn’t notice the ship in the background?
Admiral Loz Nelson for the Victory (HMS)
haha, i approve of the ‘admiral’ title, i feel it suits me
No. Sometimes anchors are used to keep boats from floating away. I havent quite figured out how to keep them from drowning though.
boats drown?
oh, anchors, i get it…
*hits self*
*puff*
*puff*
*pass*
What’s up with the pinner?
Don’t bogart that thang!
Bogart’s not here, man!
Oh wow man. It was only an ambulance.
These schnozzleberries. . they taste like. . . .
Wow. Simultaneous Super Trooper quotes. Coolness FAIL for me. ::)
Shoot the moon!
(psst. it’s the person anchoring the newscast, they do the lead-ins for the actual reporters. Mainly hired for their good looks and not their reporting abilities.)
oh i see, how very american. we don’t have anything like that here.
Really? Where are you from then? I watch the Russia Today, BBC,
and DW-TV on our Public TV Channels and they all have news anchors.
(I like to get an idea about what is going on in the rest of the world since the US newscasts are pretty USA-centric.)
the UK… although i don’t watch BBC news. pretty sure i’ve never seen a ‘presenter’ as such, only the newsreaders. unless that’s all an anchor is.
I think you’re catching on. The anchors are typically based in the
studio, read the news, then sometimes will switch over to an on-location reporter for more info or an interview.
Switch over to token asian reporter Trisha Takanawa?
Wait, the reporter was tokin’ too?
Didn’t you see her bloodshot eyes, and how she couldn’t stop giggling??
I suspect there’s a bag of Doritos under that table, too.
That’s one token tokin’ over the line, sweet Jesus.
Munchies. That is the big problem with magic brownies. You eat one, get munchies, so eat more, continue…
Did I say problem? I meant advantage.
Holy Crap. “Tarkio” reference? Obscure folk song FTW.
hey fuzz!! nice new avatar….it suits you….(tee-hee)
hey anchors are people too.
let them giggle.
If it were me, I would have peed my pants laughing.
Then again, I pee my pants all the time.
*pees*
water sports win!
*nudge-nudge* Is she a sport?
does she… does she ‘go’? is your wife a ‘goer’? eh?
i love it when anchors fuck up. I actually watched a live news cast with a girl who had just started the job. And she messed up BRUTALLY. At the end, after painfully saying her name with a forced smile on her face, she thought the cameras were off (they weren’t) and she started swearing her head off.
“GOD DAMNIT fuck! I fucked up! Oh fuck. DAMNIT you sonofabitch. FUCK!!!!”
t’was hilarious.
No you didn’t.
Fifth? Fail.
That’s the nature of the beast, raccoon.
Very rocky, raccoon.
Time is like wow and stuff…
what’s the word for the bits between the pointy bits on a comb…
Dandruff.
ew, sorry to hear that.
’s ok. I just tell everyone that it is just snowflakes. Then I remember we don’t have snow here.
double whammy
Sweet….that is only a few cities away from me =D No wonder we have bad cops! Maybe it is a disease.
since when has ‘city’ become a standard measure of distance?
New metrics.
50 streets gives you one city.
50 cities gives you one state.
50 states gives you one lousy president.
That’s not fair, Barack Hussein Obama hasn’t even been elected yet.
Unless you were talking about Jimmy Carter…
Yer jest not payin’ a-taynsion RG. Ah s’pose ah gots to reminds ya’ll ov da currant awficial in cherge of da yew-ess-ov-a dat barley haz da EyeQueue of a anus mite.
NO-BAMMA…KEEP THE CHANGE!!
you’d rather have mccain? ::shudders::
hmm, but is it transferrable to countries other than america?
Nah, Disney probably holds the copyright.
Mickey Maus WIN!
And 250 lousy presidents gives you the UN.
Knowing how many presidents are in the UN fail.
Geography WIN
Ya, I actually was doing a search to see if anyone else commented on the fact that its michigan. as if admitting to live in michigan wasn’t bad enough..
Wow. What a loser. Seriously, has the dude never been high before? You can’t OD on pot, moron.
Cop fail, drug user fail, sanity fail.
technically you could overdose, it would just take a shitload of pot to do the job.
and let’s face it, no one has that sort of stamina. or money.
SHITload? Sounds like WIN when talking about weed
But the only result of the “overdose” is you pass out. You might also get sick. But you will NOT die. It’s never happened. Yet it’s still illegal. Sigh
Interesting that the infantry in the War on Drugs knows so little about the “enemy.”
.
Ergo, all cops should sample all the usual recreational pharmaceuticals before they’re sworn in. I think I’ll run for mayor…
We have met the enemy and it IS them.
BTW: When I first heard of the “War on Drugs” I vowed to fight back.
they make them experience pepper spray and tazers…
Exactly! So a little perk to the job would be nice.
pot is pretty cheap. I think you would fall asleep or collapse a lung before you OD’ed.
I’ve never laughed so hard! “and I think we’re dead.”
That was either some really, really, REALLY good stuff . . . or he was a complete moron. (I’m thinking the latter.) Either way, it was hella funny.
I was wondering if his evidence for that conclusion was “time is passing really really really slowly.” Sounds like a workable definition of death.
first BAM.
Second BOOM
If the guy who made the call wasn’t a cop, he’d be tasered out of his trousers…
Third KEPOW. If I had watched the video, I’d know what you’re talking about.
you ate those brownies, didn’t you?
Classic marijuana induced panic attack. If he wasn’t an idiot, he could have opened some windows, drank some water, calm the hell down and not bring SHAME and FAIL to his family and his precinct.
Getting one of the news anchors to snort!!! Priceless!
then she said, sorry.
Fifth? Fail.
That’s the nature of the beast, raccoon.
Time is like wow and stuff…
it’s even better the second time around. thanks!
Yeah…kinda the way my dog barfs and then eats it again. HE seems to enjoy it.
And to think I was about to go to lunch. Oh well, good time to start the diet.
my dog seems to prefer to retaste his food after it has made the whole journey… *gags a little*
Funny that, you eat a load of Pot Brownies(Tm) and then time moves slower XD
This is Epic Fail territory. This is High School crap.
One of my dumbass friends came into school both high AND drunk. It didn’t help that it was finals week. She was FUCKED up. This story kinda reminds me of that.
Good times.
I won a grand prize (yay, a basket of macadamia nuts) by calculating what time the half-way point of the plane trip to Hawaii was. What makes it hilarious was I was blitz, plastered, seeing-double drunk when I did it.
The doubled-expression on the flight attendant’s face made the moment perfect. As he carried the basket to my seat (I was off by a respectable 1.2 minutes), his expression said, “how the hell did you do it? You must have guessed.”
/math teachers, FTW.
lol, i was about to say ‘wow, a grand prize for dividing a number by 2′ until i realised the accuracy had to be down to the second.
this is sparta?
this is madness?
this is CNN?
more like FOX, they’re the maddest of the lot. as far as i can see.
for stupid white people, by stupid white people.
This is Spinal Tap?
this is Art Attack
This is Jack Kerouac?
I AM THAT I AM?
Wow, that draws a straight mental line from point A
to point A. Classic. Everyone should have one of
those thoughts!
This is failblog.org
this is no Big Sur
This is NOT my beautiful wife.
you are not your f*cking khakis.
“I think we’re dead” He said. GOSH
I saw this on the air, oh man!
Were you with K?
I promise that they had a conversation about who was going to call. “no no! I’m too high right now!” “but we’re dying!”
Yeah, imagine all the agony that must have preceded the call! I bet they were already suffering for at least an hour. And time was moving really really slow…
But hey, it hit the right guys. Taking the good stuff off of people, scare them to shits, get them into trouble and then get high on it themselves, wtf?!
“it stings in the hearts of the wicked”
You weren’t the only one who thought that! I wondered how they made the decision on who should call. I’m thinking the wife said, “Honey, you’re a cop. You know how to talk to those 9-1-1 people better than I do.”
hahaha george bush’s IQ is 100
George Bush’s bush has a higher IQ than the rest of the man
He still has an higher IQ than you have though.
thankfully, you’re wrong.
Um…EPICALLY wrong!
*highfives loz*
*high fives and goes for a hug… realises that is inappropriate and runs away*
It is not!! Get back here!
*HUGZ!!!!*
*masturbates*
ok NOW i’ve crossed the line.
Nah…now you’re just part of my posse.*
*when I first typed this word, I made a very humorous typo…
haha, oh you. let me guess, possum?
*snork*
Um…yeeeeeah. That was it.
*hugs…then masturbates*
GROSS
I think I’m dying. Time is going really, really, really, really slow here too.
No wait…I’m just posting comments on blogs. That’s why
“I think we’re dead”… How the fuck can you speak if you’re dead, dude!
Exactly.
ever been REALLY REALLY REALLY high before?
I’ve never thought I was DEAD before, but you’re thinking doesn’t exactly flow in the logical direction of “dead = not speaking”
I was walking down the street the other day, and I didn’t think it was me.
But now you think it was you. What made you change your mind?
I experienced a retrograde déjà vu.
Mind blowing.
last time i changed my mind, i should have gotten a better one
Mostly Maui Waui man, but it’s got some Labrador in it.
bahahaha. classic.
Now just how well do you know that freak with the basketball?
Chong: Hey how am I driving, man?
Cheech: [looks around] : I think we’re parked.
Sorry, got my Cheeches mixed up with my Chongs.
Oh wow man, for a minute I thought you said you got your cheeks messed up with your thongs. Man that’s some gooood shit!
Man, I don’t wanna be touching that thong…
turn the other thong.
That was a thong? I thought it was butt floss.
turn the other cheech
cheers.
UBER FAIL!! even a cop should know you can’t OD on weed!! XD!!
When you’re on weed, do you even remember you’re a cop, let alone that you can’t OD on pot? Come on–the man thought he was dead, for chrissakes!
one time when i smoked pot i thought i was going to die… either it was spiked with something else, or it was some really good shit, i don’t know, my experience with pot is quite limited… my heart was pounding and i was having trouble breathing, totally not what i expected from pot, more like some ultra stimulant… i had friends with me that were real concerned, they were smoking the same stuff and none of them had any problem with it- they were just making me more nervous though, so i sent them on their way, much easier to calm myself down and relax when i’m alone… but i can understand how someone with no experience with drugs can think they’re going to die… still, uber fail, at least i wasn’t a cop when that happened
Epic fail at not enjoying the high.
Everyone responds to drugs differently, and the same applies to marijuana. It sounds like you had a panic attack. My ex boyfriend had a similar experience. There was nothing wrong with the pot per se, but his body had a bad reaction to it. Some people can’t smoke pot for this reason.
interesting… that was the only time i had that strong of a reaction, it wasn’t like that every time i smoked, that’s why at first i thought it was tainted w/ something- but a few people i talked to said i probably just had never had any so strong before that…
Studies have shown that you would have to smoke a joint the size of a telephone pole to officially overdose on pot. With the stronger stuff nowadays we’ll reduce that to the size of a pool noodle. Either way, we all know the person would never finish it because they’d either fall asleep, eat themselves out of house and home then stop at the 7-11 for more food before hitting Burger King or fall to their own stupidity before they would get anywhere near overdosing. However, the “laced” idea is possible and given his ability to formulate thoughts (albeit ridiculous ones) and speak without saying “Wait…what?” or “what was I talking about?” or being generally distracted every 35 seconds, I would think there was something other than pot in those brownies. The only weed-esque thing he said was “time is moving really really slowly”.
They should be calling Miracle Max. They’re just mostly dead.
Not likely to be storming the castle any time soon. Tsk.
lol never !
Think it’ll work?
It’d take a miracle.
my-favorite-movie-of-all-time WIN
I call photoshop. The shadows and reflections are all wrong.
I can tell you suck by the pixels.
My reflection sucks pixy sticks all wrong.
you suck by the gallon…
So does my large SUV.
ew.
guys, I think we’re dead.
HAHAHHAHAHAAH
Saw this when it aired on tv, it’s no fake. Anchor still has the giggles by the time the next story comes up and when they show the desk, she’d been replaced. Came back after the commercial break though. Fox always has some of the best stuff.
Fox has the “best stuff” and the anchor has the giggles….
hmmmmmm….
I always wondered about Fox News’ take on reality. This explains a lot.
I think the the cop had the best stuff.
I think you’re a fox.
Is that the Lucent logo?
Lucent stole it from Zen Buddhism, who have been painting it for centuries.
It’s a circle.
It’s a circle with some fuzz on it.
There you go…
The image in Fuzz’s avatar icon is an ensō (円相).
It comes from Zen and has a kind of indeterminate meaning.
It can mean the present moment.
It can mean eternity.
It can mean a kind of “zero” that is nothing special,
and it can mean a kind of nothingness that is everything that is.
It is often painted as a reflection of the artist’s state of mind at that point in his or her living.
It can mean enlightened experience.
It can mean “it’s a circle.”
Jennifer Cabala?
I’d hit her every day. And you should all know what I mean by ‘hit’ by now.
*masturbates heavily*
if by ‘every day’ you mean ‘if only i could get an erection’
I’m a girl jackwad.
A girl with a big penis though so this comment is pretty much useless.
ok, i feel i have trodden on a sensitive subject with my whimsy. i’ll leave you and your therapist to it. sorry. *backs away*
*masturbates*
You will mop the floor once you’re done won’t you?
Who would have thought that an officer named Ellis Dee would pull a stunt like this?
He was put up to the shenanigans by his partner Toad E. Venom.
I swear to God I’ll pistol whip the next guy who says shenanigans
.
Dammit. Killer’s on his period again.
Cursed again!
Hey Farva, what’s that place you like with all that shit on the walls and the big burgers?
no it’s ok now, he’s downscaled and transitioned to his menoPAUSE.
that was terrible, feel free to shoot me.
no, because you might not die, just slip into a comma
there, that was worse, do you feel better?
LOL yes! thank you for that. i can sleep peacefully now.
i slipped into a semicolon once
::menstruates::
How difficult is it to leave the word “guys” out of a professional situation? PROFESSIONALISM FAIL!
Hey! We are talking about Fox News aren’t we?
No, they were quoting the 911 operator.
totally agree. it just comes across as ridiculous.
hehe someone i work with constantly says “your guyses” to her callers- damn near makes me snort every time i hear it
lol… baked. The brownies or the cop?
The other thing I find funny about that clip besides the cop thinking he is dead, but the anchor woman getting pissed at the other anchor woman(off screen) laughing so much during her shot.
You can tell that the main anchor woman was like “Girl if you don’t stop you laughing and snorting while I am reporting the news I will shove my heels up your ass. This could be my shot at getting out of this hell hole and on CNN tomorrow. Anderson Cooper here I come!”
The brownies were baked.
The cop was half-baked.
In a lot of jurisdictions, USE of a drug isn’t a crime, possession is/distributiuon/etc. That may be why no one was charged (if this was already said, my bad, I didn’t read all 170+ comments).
well he clearly possessed it? lol.
This is said about the country where people are arrested for resisting arrest.
How exactly does one use a drug he does not possess?
In paranoid stupor, drug possesses you.
Would this be in America or Soviet Russia?
WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME THAT??!!!
Weed heads. *sigh*
911-Fail. If its there to pass judgement and alert authorities about illegal activities, people will end up dying instead of risking penalization at work. God knows that eating pot brownies is kinda like torturing infants by cutting off their fingers one by one, so I suppose that the community is ok with the message this sends – if you do harmless drugs, you deserve to die.
Nice work, kids will know not to call 911 next time they actually OD on something, cuz they might get grounded.
Logic fail.
If I turn my head a little.. your icon looks like a reverse swastika.
Though I know I shouldn’t talk, my icon reminds me of old people. (It’s the gray)
BTW: 999 is the emergency number for the UK…
and also the number of the beast in australia
Maybe he should’ve followed the advice that was more than likely on the side of his Crown Vic…
“Say No to Drugs!”
They couldn’t arrest the cop, he admitted to it without having been read his Miranda rights. And he was altered at the time of admission. And its on tape, can’t prove it wasn’t a hoax.
I loved this blog everyone. I’ve laughed so hard, till crying. Thanks.
kisses,
tink
wow, nerdy comment fail, on myself
I don’t think it’s a nerdy comment fail. It’s obviously an idiotic comment fail.
doubledub
i would just tell the judge, yeah, actually i did have a fever…
fucking hilarious.
They had a fever but the prescription was NOT more cowbell.
Fedor by armbar
There’s a longer version out there:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrZLc9lqQM0&feature=related
The best part is around the 4:45 mark when he asks the 911 operator to tell him the score of the Red Wings game.
LOL…. ahh… The great thing is, his mother-in-law pulls up at the end… really makes you wonder if he runs out and tells her he’s dead.
Jeez, the americans are showing again really really big stupidness. Unbelivable, “We’re dead, send some rescue”
)))))
I don’t believe that you’re one to accuse anyone of “really really big stupidness”.
i’m praying for Arpad not to be british, please!!
Hey, I like that phrase! I think I will accuse a coworker of “really big stupidness” today.
Its not cause he’s american, its because:
1. He’s high,
2. He’s from michigan
Remind me to use official authenticate brownie mix before making brownies. X_x
Bad Cop! No Donut!
LOL stupid i think were dead
ROFLMAO, cant stop laughing and I havent eat my pot brownies yet XD
Hahahha xD I love how they’re laughing and LOL @ the snort.
That’s exactly what I felt like one time when I was on mushrooms. It was actually really amazing, frightening at times too, but cool as well.
Police officials have not commented… Somehow, I doubt that.
lucky for him the antidote is to eat 6 chocolate covered creamed filled donuts (krispy kream is the best in an acute situation) and have sex with an 7-11 clerk.
that was great. I was laughing as hard as the snorting guy lol!
pussies
why is this not funny?
This was one of the funniest vids I’ve seen in a really long time. For realz, “I think we’re dead.” I was dying of laughter.