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Implying you’re condoms don’t work is funny…..
Like you are grammar.
His grandmother doesn’t work?
No, she are retired.
she’s retarded?
no, Benny, you’re
no – your retarded.
sorry eric, you’re not mine
don’t bother, i AM retarded
stop makin’ fun of me
ASKJDHASDOASOK! sorry, i had a spasm…
All of you. All of you people, they’re so much more to the world than busting people on there grammar fails. Seriously, your out of line. I quit.
In that second to last sentence, it’s actually “you’re.” Just a grammar heads up.
You found Waldo! But you also missed “there”. Should be “their”. Grammar Fail Bust Fail.
i found waldo!!! they’re should be there’s
Victory for you!
It seems that the only person here who really is mentally handicapped actually duped two people into eating the grammer fail worm. Mmm…
Thank the powers that be that it wasn’t a grammar or spelling worm…
I agree… grammar wars are stupid and make failblog not fun.
grammar wars – attack of you’re clones
Lmao, possibly the best response I’ve seen on here.
AISDIQWAJDO!)==)()=)(/&%¤#¤%&/()!
srry, another spasm…
Gesundheit. Bless you.
Bend over and I’ll show you a….. wait a sec.
You, know the retired, grammar.
i dont understand why people keep bitching about grammar when this site is made by ICANHASCHEEZBURGER. Yep, really great grammar there!
This would be called irony. Some people find irony funny.
People who make fools out of themselves are also funny. It’s cute
when a cat has poor grammar, but its not cute when a human
with an “education” has poor grammar.
i personally find irony very funny. that may be the only reason i am reading these comments/commenting myself
Overcompensating your “you’re” ftl…
Missing the obvious joke WIN
Now now…maybe her/his aim will be better next time.
it was an off day! DON’T JUDGE ME!
But your work is funny.
( And, yes, I’m implying your condemn has used Nwabby, right here it the good ol’ USA. )
I condemn you to life in condoms.
You must be one of those for choice for lifers.
( But I sense you should choose to get a life for yourself. )
A “get a life” joke? I’m a little disappointed. That’s not the witty, original humor we know you for, Fuzz.
leave fuzz alone hes amazing! and my hero!
Yes, I have fans in low places.
i don’t appreciate the implication that i am an unemployed condom.
nor do i find it funny to make fun of the down and out condoms, just because we are known for repressing people. we have feelings too you know; ultra ribbed and studded. if you prick us, do we not ooze?
we are all polymer microparticles in an aqueous medium my friends!
I will sleep well tonight simply for the energy that I burnt off laughing at this.
Okay…usually I just roll my eyes at the stupidity of the comments. This one made me actually laugh out loud. Well done!! (though explaining the laughter when I was in the room alone was a tad difficult!) Thanks for the laughs.
Are you in the condemn industry?
This comment ruled.
Oh but,
Who’s pricking your prick?!
Wouldn’t it be more like who’s getting pricked by his prick?
(Don’t say nobody. That’s not original enough.)
hopefully no one. as that would mean i’ve turned into a guy and i haven’t
noticed. which i guess makes me a gay guy with moobs. wow there goes my social life, at least as a condom i was getting some.
i wonder how they collect the used ones..
Its a dirty job but someone has to do it
On the bright side the pay and benefits package is good, and my pension wont be too bad either.
pension? Don’t you mean penison?
Is that like penal venison?
Is “penal venison” deer meat served in prison?
yep
Sounds more appetizing than “rectal vermillion”.
Fucking rofld.
It’s like recycling. I do know that once they get them back, they shake the fuck out of them.
highfive
condoms
*masturbates*
Girlfriend Fail.
If you say so
you probably buy the condoms just to say that you use them.
virginity fail
Hey look, its a nerd sexuality battle!!!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, FIGHT!
virginity win :p
Like you’ve never masturbated with a condom on? Tchh…
naw man i put it on a dildo than use it on my girlfriend. safe sex right?
why waste it with my hand! ya gotta think ;]
Actually, it was your girlfriend that said so.
That’s safe to say.
Haha.. “safe”
I get it…
Yes, I almost have a fan in high places.
[Tian-shan = 天山 = Heaven Mountain]
sheep win.
you don’t have to use condoms to masturbate
i heard you get blind if you don’t
No, a splat in the eye only causes temporal blindness.
Thats why you aim away from yourself.
Although that then causes the problem of getting it off/out of wherever it landed
Keep a box of tissues handy.
You have a problem getting it off? Then this thread is moot.
I call it a JIZZ-ue (tissue)
Your friend is masturbating wrong.
Yes, I have a friend in the wrong places.
“Temporal blindness” ?
Yeah, I hate not knowing what time it is…
Comment WIN!
Temporary blindness. Vocabulary fail, ololol.
Soooo..I’ll never see the space-time continuum again???? *sobs*
Inability to see through time?
then every man on this planet would be blind
Except Bill Clinton. In his case, all his secretaries and interns would be going blind.
Thats why they built the Washington Monument…
naw, you get hairy palms.
If that was true, mine would look more like paws.
I lol’d.
I swear the last weeks fails have all been up before. failblog is beginning to fail.
Have you been looking at the “Vote” page, maybe? They are moved to the main page from there.
Failblog beginning to fail…
>_>
How unexpected?
FIRST!
Have you noticed noone did a “FIRST!” comment? ^^
Its the happiest day of my life!
actually, i did two
Guaranteed fail.
Did you wash your hands afterwards?
Although you did by mentioning “FIRST!”
You may have possibly ruined it, hmmmmm.
I must ponder upon this….
Upon this? ::ponders::
I’ll give you something to ponder upon.
Ponder? Damn near killed ‘er!
Which is good…so long as it’s just a little death.
From like, a quarter of a pounder?
1/4 a pound of juicy meat.
Show me your O face?
Example: drowning. That’s a little death.
Being blown up by an old French land mine after delivering a monologue near the beginning of a comedy war movie that came out yesterday is a big death.
(Pssst…Rogue…google “little death” (with quotation marks) and see what you find!)
…Dangit. I pssst-ed again. Sara’s disease must be contagious!
Actually there was secret pact that the first person to say first would be decapitated using a cucumber. That’s been down a fat guy’s Speedos.
And then stuffed into a used condom.
To then be used the beat the next guy who mentions it to death
I feel sorry for that guy, indeed.
FIRST!
I assume that it is so vile in the fat guy’s speedo that the cucumber has now become a pickle, and since I love pickles being slammed into my throat in attempts to remove my head, I said first. Please. Proceed with decapitation via pickle.
Nope, we replace the cucumber when a group of highly qualified scientists, with too much time no their hands, declare it to be pickled
Lowly qualified scientist reporting for duty – 20th
Wallflower enjoying cucumber with pickle being slammed into his throat FFAIL
How do you know Wallflower isn’t female?
well, somehow wallflower sounds quite male, doesn’t it?
Well, if you separated the two words in the name so they were like so: “Wall Flower”, then I would have to say no, it doesn’t at all.
I assume his father used that condoms.
Pretty specific there.
Who’s noone?
I saw no one post a “first” comment.
:]
big deal??
I’ve seen Alastair masturbating, but Wallflower pretends to be first. Maybe Wallflower’s nick name is noone. Maybe noone had a lot of fun with your mom.
Not even his dad.
You break my fukkin heart, killer.
FIRST!!!111!eins!!uno!
i wonder what these condoms were used for?
If you don’t know, I ain’t telling ya.
water balloons!
who the hell would pay that much for condoms??? damn.
Planned Parenthood / Free Condoms FTW!!!
wealth fail
Actually being quite wealthy myself, I would rather find the bargain (in this case the product being free) and save even the small amounts of money. It all adds up. I didn’t become wealthy by spending frivolously.
it’s an ‘economy pack’, there are 36. quite the bargain!
Damn It’s still not enough!
$20 for 36 , or a bag of them ( they gave me like 30 last time ) for free? i felt rather good about myself them having given me so many, figured they must think i keep busy. then realized its probly cause they just want toi be real sure i dont reproduce…
haha
ps, i know i spelled a bunch of shit wrong, but its 6 in the fuckin morning here and im bout to get out of work.
Do you really trust the condoms that come from a place called “Planned PARENTHOOD?” add the fact that they are free.. and well…. yikes.
I could leave this alone, for the joke it is, but i feel the need to point out: planned parenthood is one of those militant Christian Pro-life anti-abortion groups. They give out condoms as part of their charity mandate.
Ummmmm, no.
“Planned Parenthood is the collective name of organizations worldwide who are members of the International Planned Parenthood Federation (IPPF). The Planned Parenthood Federation of America (PPFA) is the U.S. affiliate of IPPF and one of its larger members. PPFA provides reproductive health and maternal and child health services. The organization’s status as the United States’ leading provider of surgical abortions has put it in the forefront of national debate over that issue. Planned Parenthood Action Fund, Inc. (PPAF) is a related organization that lobbies the U.S. political system for pro-choice legislation, comprehensive sex education, and access to affordable health care”
TL;DR
I will also add that Christian pro-lifers believe only in abstinence, there is no way in hell they’d give out free condoms, they don’t even want children learning about condoms in schools.
nutters.
Christian pro-lifers, or the folks having this argument?
( I hear Sara J’s being a pee nut these days. )
(let’s go pee-can on her and see how she’s doing!)
Alright guys, I’m here… don’t get your panties in a twist.
Yes.
Christian pro-lifers are happy to hand out free condoms after they personally poke pinholes in each one. (It feeds their absexual frenzy.)
Planned Parenthood is not Christian or Pro-Life or anti-abortion. Massive fail. Their clinics perform abortions.
all you fucktards need to actually look it up and quit assuming what you dont know. they offer abortions, they offer sterilization, they offer all forms of birth control , testing for diseases, etc. and often to those who cant afford it elsewhere. and for another example, im getting my vasectomy done there for free. so, get your damn facts straight.
So let me get this straight. You’re responding to someone who just said pretty much the same thing as you and you’re telling them to get their facts straight. Maybe you should ask Planned Parenthood to teach you to read while you’re there, since they do so much for you.
actually it was a response to the others. it was placed there so it didnt end up half the page down. but agreed. placement could have been better.
Um, planned parenthood gets PICKETED, BY militant Chrstian groups. Information FAIL
( appears Planned Parenthood wasn’t able to help glory’s mom. )
hahaha, aww
it’s ok, c’mere, i’ll fuck you.
hahaha aww
it’s ok, c’mere, i’ll have sex with you.
Aw, MAN! LOZ gets to be double posted…!
*pouts*
aww wow! i feel so privileged to be double posted
….
does this mean you will have sex with me twice! sweet… haha
hahaha, aww
it’s ok, c’mere, i’ll dip my ladle in your vichyssoise.
Hell that’s a lifetime supply for me.
poor guy
lololololol.
failst!
Who the hell would use a condom
Abortion FTW
I lol’ed. (I’m a sick puppy.)
C’mon, Killerwit…we’re going to DISNEYLAND!!!!
*locks car doors*
*heads to the vet*
’cause used condoms are a lot easier to tidy up. srsly, ew.
actually a girl swallowing leaves the least amount of clean up. and many ive met love to do it.
Marla to Tyler, “I want to have your abortion.”
Unforgettable.
That comment hit me as hard as it could!
who used those condoms?
Your mother and I.
That’s not what his dad said.
his dad a gag in his mouth. ever tried to speak like that?
gags rule. they’re funny. and this isn’t. so don’t complain about used condoms, they’re much cheaper, at least if all bacteria and sperms are definitely dead.
I can swim.
Grammar mistakes, however, are HIGH-larious!
I’ll pass, thanks.
I don’t want a condom with someone else’s spunk in it.
Really? I thought you liked that sorta thing
thats what she said.
Yes, it is
That whore.
Scandalous.
I take that as an insult and blow your head off with a rocket launcher. And now you are dead. Because I killed you.
But I remain, to torture you in your dreams
Freddy Krueger WIN
Rogue, darlin’, methinks you’ve been hitting Half Life and Bioshock just a weeeee bit too hard.
What? Are you crazy? Bioshock doesn’t have a rocket launcher! It just has a grenade launcher that can fire rockets for some reason.
But yeah, I think I need to put the controller down.
Just one more Big Daddy….
Haha, you said you’d blow his head.
haha double fail
he’s offering 2 for the price of 1 ?
-reloads-
Say that again while I lock on.
youre going to lock on to his head while blowing him? thats not going to be comfortable for anyone. your not going to get a tip that way.
*FWEEEEEEEE- BLAMMMMMMMMM*
*Little Adoni chunks rain down on everyone*
*SPLUD!*
…ewwwwwwwwwww.
yepp he sold it.
someone bought it?
wait, first of all, who was searching for condoms online, anyways?
DRUG STORE.. der.
laziness fail.
They wanted them in bulk
Big weekend cuming up.
Hmm, wonder if I can think of a better preposition than “up”…
it gives a new meaning to sloppy seconds
do you think they will actually sell those used condoms?
No, my PayPal is all messed up.
If you’re going to pay your “pal”, then you should treat her better.
rimshot.
and what he was doing in my pajamas, i’ll never know.
*wriggles eyebrows*
I’m guessing by “used” they mean the box was opened.
It is a rather large box.
Stop looking for a reasonable explanation!!
LET US HAVE OUR FUN!!!!
lmao, why he didnt sell all used condoms? THEN IT’S NOT FAIL!!!
I think it’s reproductivity EPIC WIN!
Must be a box being sold by John Bobbitt…..THANKS LORENA!
BAHA. ahahaha.
that side-lopped wanged assface.
Hahahahaha.. dickless wonder ftw!
We are all trying to think green now a days, everybody needs to recycle. oh and the ad for the used condoms was originally printed in penis magazine by the way.
You also get free ones if you buy the lickable ice cream
Failblog-addict FAIL
failblog-addict WIN. failblog ftw. communication failure WIN. short-sentence WIN.
Rather, sentence fragment WIN.
self-reply WIN
Failblog NONaddict (just a dick) FAIL!
If somebody sold me used condoms, I’d call 999.
Good luck with that. Better not use that fail-e-phone.
don’t mean to spoil the fun…but obviously it’s simply a default link by amazon….I suppose it’d be interesting to click through and see if they actually list any as ‘used’….
they don’t, the 2 listed are ‘new’. i guess it’s not really a fail at all then.
And yet you did. *sigh*
“Cover of box slightly dented. Name written on inside of lid: Richard Longfellow. Some highlighting. Satisfaction guaranteed.”
Double entendre win.
You can use the used condoms as balloons, well that’s what we do in Soviet Russia…
In Soviet Russia, balloons use YOU as a condom!
Luckily, they still have that “new-condom smell”.
Aaaah, I LOVE the scent of lubricant in the morning!
“Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought: a Slightly Used Rubber Fist”
hahaha
Epic win!
Amazon.com/Failblog.org mashup win!
I hate to point out the obvious, but I’m pretty sure amazon ALWAYS says used or new. It’s just a link that lets you buy from other people instead of from amazon. With other products where it doesn’t matter it’ll give you a listing of sellers and the condition it is selling in. Probably if you clicked on it you’d only get new options.
stop. seriously, just stop.
shut up bitch.
You’re right, I shouldn’t have said that. I forgot that in order to comment on failblog your knuckles have to drag the ground. Carry on with your masturbation jokes.
No no…please! Stay with us. We LOVE it when folks bring in some verisimilitude and explain why things we enjoy aren’t actually funny. I come here to be reminded of stark reality, after all, not to get a giggle from something amusing.
that was hawt
You know Dragon, I like to consider myself a fairly intelligent guy, decent grasp of grammar and a fairly large (hehe) vocabulary. But “verisimilitude”? Wow. Just wow. Brilliant post, well phrased and made me lol and google a word.
*ogles wonder mutt’s vocabulary*
Jane you ignorant slut!
I don’t drag my knuckles on the ground and don’t really joke about masturbation much.
So I was watching dirty videos last night with my unit in my hand…
I see my fame precedes me.
no need to be rude to her. seriously, ok, i said stop because shes the voice of reason (as on every board) which is appreciated. No need to go calling names.
you doo-doo head.
Dude, this is no place for a voice of reason. srsly.
HEY. no need to get rude, buddy.
Jane is a very intelligent lady, the voice of reason on many of these comment pages.
Playful banter is cool, but seriously, calling names?
you doodoo head.
*snork*
And despite my facetious little comment above, I agree with you here. “Sadly, Klaus is limited.”
Now is the time of Failblog when we dance!
Touch my monkey!
Love my monkey!
who sells that online anyway?
103 comment WIN!
104th comment WIN!
nobody gives a shit epic fail!
actually, you did!
Lolz pwned win
Chase and Chase know how to cunt Win! Or is it count….
are there minimal stains on the used condoms as well?
fail, this Tim G guy buys condoms online
New and used condoms?! I wonder if this had anything to do with the slightly used, minimally stained rubber fist obtained at the Pink Taco.
So wait, buying used condoms is bad?! Oh shit…
In Soviet Russia it’s good!
Bonus: While cream
What qualified those condoms as “trojan”, i wonder? Did it have a bronze helmet?
It disguises the man’s penis as a horse so the woman won’t see him coming.
used ones are mine,
Used them for having sex with next commenter’s mom.
I’m more intrigued by the idea that AMAZON is selling condoms. Are we that desprete to get the free shipping?
wont free shipping make the condoms stretch?
second-hand condoms used by Babak. :O
Knowing how Amazon works fail.
Used condoms… eww… but $9.99 for used condoms? That’s just wrong.