Frailty= 2.5 hours of “Dad, they’re people dad, they’re not demons. No son, they’re demons, they’re not people. Dad, they’re people dad, they’re not demons. No son, they’re demons, they’re not people. Dad, they’re people dad, they’re not demons. No son, they’re demons, they’re not people. Dad, they’re people dad, they’re not demons. No son, they’re demons, they’re not people. Dad, they’re people dad, they’re not demons. No son, they’re demons, they’re not people. Dad, they’re people dad, they’re not demons. No son, they’re demons, they’re not people. Dad, they’re people dad, they’re not demons. No son, they’re demons, they’re not people.”
Well, my dad was a schizophrenic who actually told me at one point that there was an unseen battle raging between good and evil and that we had to fight for the side of good.
….
I’m sure that contributed to my appreciation of the film. (No joke.)
Actually, I liked the film too, but only because of how much they kept on yammering on about who or what was actually a demon. Fun stuff, demon killin’.
Actually, I think it’s a pretty widespread belief that there is an unseen battle between good and evil. I don’t think it really has anything to do with schizophrenia (though maybe the way he presented it did).
yeah I know, It sucked. it felt like the movie was made 100 other times.
But that joke is pretty funny. Im gonna use it when someone uses a “someone called” joke on me from now on.
they are based on acceleration sensors. and this “acceleration” is nothing in comparison with a car crash… its impossible to open an airbag with this kind of “penetration”!
=> fake
This comment is monumental fail.
Mercedes Benz has spearheaded pretty much every safety function in modern vehicles, starting with the seatbelt, and working up to modern curtain airbag and stability management programs.
just the M, the GL and the R are produced in the USA cause they have the same platform, so no matter how unimportant this is, you failed, cause the car in the vid is a CLK convertible
Actually, Ford first introduced the seatbelt as standard equipment in 1955 but it was Volvo that designed and patented the three point safety system (that is the seatbelt as we know it today) in 1959. But Saab were first to use the current design as standard and my home state of Victoria, Australia was the first place to make it mandatory for car manufactures to install this version of the seatbelt in all cars.
Merc may have one of the best safety records but they didn’t pioneer the seatbelt at all.
Well isn’t that the reason this might actually work? If it were based on impact sensors you would have to give it a car crash force to make it blow up. OTOG, if it’s based on accelerators, if you hit the sensors dead on and move even for a fraction of a second with enough speed, it might work (still, very few chances). As others said, the video seems to be fake for other reasons too but I’d like it to be true because it means a douche-bag got what he deserved.
it is technically possible, if she hit the sensor dead on with enough force.
The sensor is equipped to go off if the car is impacted while at a standstill.
However, there is no definitive answer until an engineer or mechanic from
Mercedes comes on the forum and definitively states weather or not the
sensor is there, or if she used enough force in the swing to trigger the sensor..
you can tell it’s fake by the sound editing. from that far away the video camera couldn’t pick up the horn that clearly. also it’s fake because of everything else – the lady falling asleep, the man revving his engine, the airbag. we’ve been had.
most modern vehecles have a thing which means the airbag won’t go off unless the car is travelling faster than 15mph, because this used to happen too often
Wrong! Your airbag will go off just fine, even if you are stock still. Why? The airbag still needs to work if somebody, say, hits you head-on if you are waiting at a traffic light.
It *might* be a fake, but it also *might* not because he was revving his engine at the time of the “impact”, so it’s totally plausible that the airbag would go off when the engine was going so fast and something hit it.
Airbags are NOT self contained devices with the accelerometers built into them. The accelerometers are located else-where in the vehicle (near the front bumper for example) they send a signal to a computer control unit that collects a number of inputs (vehicle speed, decel. rate, etc.) that determines if the the bag should be deployed. If so, the computer sends voltage to the airbag to deploy it. However- this video is FAKE! Airbags are VERY loud, (much louder than the horn in this vid) and leave a lot of chalky residue (dust cloud) it’s highly unlikely it went off with such a tap.
ow yes, I always wait for someone to cry out “photoshopped”, and when it’s a movie, there is always a nerd who cry that it’s a fake. relax men, imagine a nerd like u making such a good fake…. it’s hard isn’t it??
Don’t believe it’s fake? Look at the camera zooms. They try to make it look real by all the zoom ins and outs at first, but the camera is in the exact right places at the right time, at the right zoom level and everything.
Don’t worry. He didn’t really mean it. Women are not “up there”, as they evolve, they will indeed develop matresses on their backs and Cosmo is an intelligent, informative expose on what all women really think.
I thought the whole “screaming-about-your-penis contest” thing would clue you in to the fact that I was kinda joking around. Apparently, those actually exist, or else you would have found that funny.
He probably used the word “look” because you can’t grab a Failblog entry and play with it, or anything else you can do with a gigantic fake breast for that matter.
Their Quoting a Song Idk who sings it, but it was parodied on
Family Guy when Peter wanted to be 18 again.
Peter killed the guitarist and Brian filled in and said “This song’s
By a Gay Guy!” and plays a song that says “I’m never gonna
Give you up, never gonna let you down! I’m never gonna
Run around, and hurt you!” I hear that song a lot at work
Seriously, Kroger Needs a New radio station!
my friend actually was shot in the ass with an RPG. lost three fingers, but kevlar did save him, so i guess it can work…We called him SGT Stubby after that..
1: Your friend lost 3 fingers when he was shot in the ass… I thought I understood human anatomy better.
&
2: How the kevlar saved his life. There’s no butt plate on kevlar. There’s a crotch plate. If he really got shot in the ass, dead on, I doubt he would have only lost some fingers. More like the lower half of his body. Unless it misfired and didn’t explode right away.
well there is this thing called shrapnel, kevlar stops shrapnel ( depending on size/ speed/ etc ) and it was not a direct hit, but enough to leave major burns and missing fingers and pieces of metal lodged in the base of his
helmet. it explodes, and having been a medic, i know enough
to know that things that explode rarely follow the rules…
Yep. :] We all want to be first, but scream at whoever manages it. No one wouldn’t mind so much if whoever is first can think of a more intelligent post than “1st!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Gotta go with Lightsaber! Question though:
If a Jedi gets his or her (or its (seriously, how do you tell the ailen species’ genders apart?)) arms/legs/tentacles/whatever severed, then couldn’t the force be used to float?
MikeW, i’m not sure how many times you have had your arms/legs/tentacles/whatever severed, but i think it may be a tad bit distracting and don’t think it would be all too easy to concentrate well enough to use the force effectively.
This is true, but what of Vader? With the exception of tentacles (I think), he’s had all his extremities severed. And Yoda’s able to lift a starfighter. One would think he could perhaps hover himself a few feet off the ground.
but 1. vader was also basically a cyborg by that point, so kind of ahrd to compare, and 2. yoda has all his limbs. 3. darth vader’s theme song would be sooo damn lame if he floated. it would really take away from his image
you know a man with a stick would easily beat a man with a nuke because the man with the nuke can’t shoot the man wtih the stick without killing millions of innocent civilians (for which just about every country in the world would declare war on him) so the man with the stick just has to stay near civilisation and slowly make his way to the man with the nuke whom he will easily beat up with his stick.
I used to have a Russian girlfriend. I mentioned a fondness I had for some of the Soviet Union’s Science Fiction. She said, “The Soviet Union IS science fiction” (she wasn’t smiling).
LMAO! That reminds me of a picture I tried to get on here. I was trying to play multiplayer Starcraft with a friend. It wouldn’t let me on Battle.net because it said that my CD key was being used by Barack Obama.
I have another question for y’all:
You all blast people for making typos, but you all keep messing up “Obama’s” name. It is spelled “Osama.” Why do you look the other way on this one, oh Grammar Gurus?
I notice that you forgot to abbreviate correctly
‘cant’ should be ‘can’t’. Before you make a comeback
questioning a person’s spelling, make sure you do so yourself.
etymology of “punctuation”:
M.L. punctuationem (nom. punctuatio) “a marking with points,” from punctuatus, pp. of punctuare “to mark with points or dots,” from L. punctus “a prick”.
____
source: Online Etymology Dictionary
You know that part in the ‘Hunt for Red October’ when they start singing the Russian anthem? There were several native Russians in that cast, and they flat out refused to sing that song as Americans. Flat. Out. Refused. Tell me, how hard would you work if today, tomorrow, and the next day you will be paid just as much as the lazy a$$ next to you that does practically nothing. No insentive to perform. Marxist theory even said there would be times when Communist economies will have to resort to capitalism to survive. Then the government has 20-50 years to revert back to communism. This is the perscribed cycle. Hmm…how many years has it been since the Soviet Union disbanded?
That was why many Russian-made stuff was so poor in quality. For many products, if you surpassed you daily quota, you would get a bonus. Inorder to pass that quota, many shoddy, or dangerous, products were made. For example, medicine bottles were often mostly water.
Also a doctor could be paid just as much as a factory worker. For some, there goes one huge incentive to work in medicine.
(By the way, it is “incentive.”)
Okay, next douche rocket to say “This is old…I’ve seen it…fail blog needs new fails…” is invited to STFU and go sit in the corner with the this-is-a-fake-tards. Secondly, go out and find something new then, and post it. That would be a much finer contribution than driveling about how fake or old something is.
That public venue your mom calls a snatch is old and fake, but I don’t hear your dad complaining about it.
LOL … à la française, no less
Black Mambos! Crocodile Ribs! Sheaths that are designed not only to protect, but also to enhance the stimulation of sexual congress…. for I am a Protestant.” ~ Monty Python’s Meaning of Life.
A completely real IKEA commercial with the end bit clipped off. I can’t believe all the people making up crazy scenarios to explain how this could actually happen…
This is an old video. I think it was actually an ad for something, or a PSA about stress or somesuch nonsense. They spent some money to make it look homemade.
Ugh I hate Nursing Home calls. They have almost no clue what they’re doing there. A paramedic comrade of mine once responded to a cardiac call at a home, but when he went to intubate the patient (tube down windpipe), the patient bit down on the equipment. The staff didn’t check the pulse of a sleeping woman.
I believe it puts the clip into context.
Otherwise you’d think someone was randomly filming some old biddy crossing the road who then happened to twonk a Merc and set off the airbag.
well she first takes a number of objects out of her bag.
firstly, a gas canister. secondly, a ligher. thirdly, a hand grenade. and finnally, a sub-machine gun.
then she uses the lighter and the methane from the gas canister to cause an explosion and set the car on fire . then she soots the man and then she uses the hand-grenade to blow the whole lot up
That guy deserved it! Honking at that little old lady. I wonder what happened afterward. I hope it ruined his day. Really, is he so important that he couldn’t WAIT 40 seconds. HAHAHAHA! BURN!
If this is a viral ad, its a pretty bad one. It would be saying that Mercedes owners are impatient asshats. Really the image they want to put out there.
My grandmother did that! (But that’s not my grandmother)
Dad answered the phone one day:
Cop: Is this Mr. Jones (names changed to protect those who don’t care)
Dad: Yes it is.
Cop: This is Officer Such-n-Such with the Marysville Police Department. We need you to come down to the station to pick up your mother – she’s been whacking cars with her cane again.
(If a car gets too close to her while she’s crossing the street – WHACK! I also approve)
I mean, sure, there’s some of that, but if you’d actually read the comments you’d see that there’s a really great group of smart, funny, witty folks here who enjoy each other immensely.
Erm…each other’s company, I mean. I know what you were thinking, you pervs! :p
it is in theory possible that the situation could be real (ie someone striking the front of a car hard enough to cause the airbags to deploy). usually an Airbag has multiple sensors which (as described in the wiki page) it uses to determine if there has been a crash or not and if it should deploy the airbag, I will reference this idea again in a moment
the situation in the Video (from the audio) is that a car came to a sudden skidding stop and then experienced a sudden impact to the front bumper. now without knowing the mass of the bag, the density/hardness of the contents, the acceleration, end velocity and the time that the impact acted over and also what type of sensors were in the front of the bumper we can’t prove anything but if say the lady was carrying canned items (so reasonably heavy and solid items) and got a good swing at the bumper And hit say an impact or accelerometer, she could produce a measure over the Threshold. Especially in a situation like this Because as far as the airbag ECU is concerned, there was a sudden skidding stop then a sudden front impact over a set threshold (assuming that she hit the sensor dead on with a heavy and solid load in her bag with a good swing) these characteristics (sudden stop followed by a front impact) are exactly the type of input the ECU would receive in a real Crash in which case it would deploy the airbag.
so in response to all thats been said: In theory it could happen in real life, if a car comes to a sudden skidding stop with the brakes on full and the wheels locked then experiences a sudden front impact from a pedestrian striking the bumper with rage and the pedestrian hits a sensor with all the afore mentioned criteria satisfied. it IS possible that this could happen.
But highly unlikely as a lot of variables would have to be satisfied and the chances of that happening are very small
This is one of my favourite clips EVAH!! It doesn’t really matter whether it was made as a commercial or actually happened, although I heard from reputable sources when it was first sent to me many moons ago that it was real, it still has a great object lesson. I have it on my computer, and watch it whenever I need to cheer myself up.
I didn’t read all 500 comments before mine… But for the record, this was a setup and a fake.
Airbags work with an accelerometer that only measures G-force. That’s why they don’t deploy half the time if hit from the side or rear in a high speed collision. They are designed only to measure front-end collisions. (Side impact airbags are a different matter entirely)
They also don’t deploy in parked cars…. Or cars that are revving their engine but sitting still.
Just thought I’d bring some science into the debate.
It a completely obvious fake based on production values. The sound quality is too good. The framing and editing are too good. This did not happen by accident.
Anybody who thinks for 2 seconds that this is real really ought to be institutionalized for their own protection.
FAKE!
So is your penis.
You must be so disappointed.
not as disappointed as his unlucky love partner
Not likely. His unlucky love partner has a real penis of his own.
“Captain Ron” is the most under-rated film of all time.
You forgot “The Last Dragon”, “Tron”, and “Frailty”.
Frailty= 2.5 hours of “Dad, they’re people dad, they’re not demons. No son, they’re demons, they’re not people. Dad, they’re people dad, they’re not demons. No son, they’re demons, they’re not people. Dad, they’re people dad, they’re not demons. No son, they’re demons, they’re not people. Dad, they’re people dad, they’re not demons. No son, they’re demons, they’re not people. Dad, they’re people dad, they’re not demons. No son, they’re demons, they’re not people. Dad, they’re people dad, they’re not demons. No son, they’re demons, they’re not people. Dad, they’re people dad, they’re not demons. No son, they’re demons, they’re not people.”
pleh
Well, my dad was a schizophrenic who actually told me at one point that there was an unseen battle raging between good and evil and that we had to fight for the side of good.
….
I’m sure that contributed to my appreciation of the film. (No joke.)
so he was catholic?
Schizophrenia and Catholicism are closely related.
U forgot Masturbating
Go ‘way, ‘batin!
Evil and Catholicism are closely related, too.
But you told me you weren’t Protestant!!
You went to the U of Masturbating? Me too! What was your major?
Ever see a picture of the Pope? He looks similar to Uncle Fester of the Adams Family, no?
Idiocracy FTW
major cramps in my hand
mine was strangerlogy
Actually, I liked the film too, but only because of how much they kept on yammering on about who or what was actually a demon. Fun stuff, demon killin’.
Wait a second… You’re a demon, aren’t you! *grabs axe*
-shifty eyes-
(Comments wont nest below this level) placement FAIL!
Axes won’t behead below this level
win
you can’t kill demons with axes you need somthing a lot more powerful …. like a fully automatic nuckelear missile launcher
u jum u need the warhead 2 go wif it u cant just have the launcher, so da axe is just as good as a launcher
I see your fingers moving, but all I can read is “blah blah blah.”
“you can’t kill demons with axes you need somthing a lot more powerful …. like a fully automatic nuckelear missile launcher”
You’re right, you can’t kill demons with axes but I’m pretty
sure you’re spelling will do the trick.
Maybe YOUR spelling will summon angels! No?
so what. there is. he was right.
*takes lithium*
Actually, I think it’s a pretty widespread belief that there is an unseen battle between good and evil. I don’t think it really has anything to do with schizophrenia (though maybe the way he presented it did).
As proof of the battle between Good and Evil, look what Evil did:
evil=succesful businessmen, governments & China
good=everyone else
remember: power corupts and absolute pawer corupts absolutly
pawer how did i type that? o and a are nowhere near each other
I wouldn’t worry too much about a simple typo.
With all the other spelling errors you made… Pawer fits right in!
There are no such ting as good and evil. It’s all subjective. No white and black, just grey area.
With that said, the only thing that can be accounted for is purity and corruption of purity.
*ting….. Yes, I know.
Hey…………. stfu
hey, show him how.
Drag your point out to long fail
all of you are forgetting “pootie tang”. sa da ta!
WIN
yeah and you would know all about that!!!1 hahaha
That was freaking awesome! XD
The First Grade just called, they would like their train of thought back.
Curses, foiled again! I was so sneaky as well.
Maybe your mom can help with that train. I heard she pulls them.
Didja hear that from yer Dad?
Perhaps we’re related!
Suggesting we might be related=Burn of the Week
Yeah…. yer right.
I feel terrible…..burnin’ myself and all….
Yeah, and for picking on such an easy target.
Sorry to have done that to ya.
You zero.
Got me there, Killerwit!
Now you sound like your mom.
You mean yer my Dad?!?!
….Yes. We done here?
But yer on FIRE man!!!
ON FIRE!!!!
Keep those “killer” replies comin!
That’s no way to talk to your father.
I did NOT set him on fire! I didn’t do it…it’s not my fault!
*paranoid look*
He had me at “Didja” … yearning to bayonet my corneas.
Kudos, man; that is some killer long-suffering.
World’s longest comment thread with only two commenters.
Someone call Guiness.
I reached for Guiness a while ago.
(no joke!)
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…. Guinness….
*drooooooooooooooooooool*
Someone say Fire?
[Grabs emegency first aid burn kit]
ummm are you talking about alchohol or records
mmmmmmmmmmmmm…………
records…….
*drooooooooool*
pwnt
The first grade called again, they want their joke back.
Yeah, that looks like a bad movie
yeah I know, It sucked. it felt like the movie was made 100 other times.
But that joke is pretty funny. Im gonna use it when someone uses a “someone called” joke on me from now on.
ComeBack Win!
In fact, it probably is fake, there is no way in hell a tap is going to set off the airbag.
not true……airbags are based on impact sensors…..if hit ‘just right’ it is very possible….but its a 1 in a million shot.
even if it is fake though, its still funny as hell
wrong…
they are based on acceleration sensors. and this “acceleration” is nothing in comparison with a car crash… its impossible to open an airbag with this kind of “penetration”!
=> fake
imported vehicles fail
This comment is monumental fail.
Mercedes Benz has spearheaded pretty much every safety function in modern vehicles, starting with the seatbelt, and working up to modern curtain airbag and stability management programs.
Using the term “Spearhead” when referring to safety = Fail
And they aren’t imported anymore, are they?
just the M, the GL and the R are produced in the USA cause they have the same platform, so no matter how unimportant this is, you failed, cause the car in the vid is a CLK convertible
insignificant.
learn to take a joke = fail
Actually, Ford first introduced the seatbelt as standard equipment in 1955 but it was Volvo that designed and patented the three point safety system (that is the seatbelt as we know it today) in 1959. But Saab were first to use the current design as standard and my home state of Victoria, Australia was the first place to make it mandatory for car manufactures to install this version of the seatbelt in all cars.
Merc may have one of the best safety records but they didn’t pioneer the seatbelt at all.
people who think american cars rule only drive in straight lines
Earnhart!
you are so wrong
Well isn’t that the reason this might actually work? If it were based on impact sensors you would have to give it a car crash force to make it blow up. OTOG, if it’s based on accelerators, if you hit the sensors dead on and move even for a fraction of a second with enough speed, it might work (still, very few chances). As others said, the video seems to be fake for other reasons too but I’d like it to be true because it means a douche-bag got what he deserved.
it is technically possible, if she hit the sensor dead on with enough force.
The sensor is equipped to go off if the car is impacted while at a standstill.
However, there is no definitive answer until an engineer or mechanic from
Mercedes comes on the forum and definitively states weather or not the
sensor is there, or if she used enough force in the swing to trigger the sensor..
Care to explain what exactly the weather had to do with this?
Why is this still debated ?
It’s a Norwegian commercial, get done with it and move on ^_^
you said “penetration” heh he he heh
you can tell it’s fake by the sound editing. from that far away the video camera couldn’t pick up the horn that clearly. also it’s fake because of everything else – the lady falling asleep, the man revving his engine, the airbag. we’ve been had.
most modern vehecles have a thing which means the airbag won’t go off unless the car is travelling faster than 15mph, because this used to happen too often
Wrong! Your airbag will go off just fine, even if you are stock still. Why? The airbag still needs to work if somebody, say, hits you head-on if you are waiting at a traffic light.
She could just be freakishly strong. ._.
Or carry bricks in her bag for these sort of happenings.
SuperGran win!
I wish my gran was SuperGran. Then she could use her X-ray vision to find her own damn glasses!
I LOL’d ^^
I agree! Fake or not-this is a WIN for grans everywhere!
airbag fail then? failbag?
Not a fail, the only thing failing is the set-up.
It *might* be a fake, but it also *might* not because he was revving his engine at the time of the “impact”, so it’s totally plausible that the airbag would go off when the engine was going so fast and something hit it.
Not at that level of impact. It is a complete fake.
Faking it is difficult when you’re hitting it that hard. *evil grin*
*groan*
See what I mean?
wait… what *kind* of groan?
Dayum.
thats what she said
If the sweet spot was hit its possible, not easy to hit but most airbag systems have a spot on the bumper that is more finicky.
That’s what she said.
You know, I expected the double entendres from the rubber fist fail post, but I never expected to get it in the grandma post. Wow. Kudos!
Airbags are NOT self contained devices with the accelerometers built into them. The accelerometers are located else-where in the vehicle (near the front bumper for example) they send a signal to a computer control unit that collects a number of inputs (vehicle speed, decel. rate, etc.) that determines if the the bag should be deployed. If so, the computer sends voltage to the airbag to deploy it. However- this video is FAKE! Airbags are VERY loud, (much louder than the horn in this vid) and leave a lot of chalky residue (dust cloud) it’s highly unlikely it went off with such a tap.
ow yes, I always wait for someone to cry out “photoshopped”, and when it’s a movie, there is always a nerd who cry that it’s a fake. relax men, imagine a nerd like u making such a good fake…. it’s hard isn’t it??
Don’t believe it’s fake? Look at the camera zooms. They try to make it look real by all the zoom ins and outs at first, but the camera is in the exact right places at the right time, at the right zoom level and everything.
Who the hell cares, IT’S FUNNY! It doesn’t matter if it’s real or not.
That’s how I feel about gigantic fake breasts.
Exactly. FAILBlog entries are like gigantic fake breasts. Who cares if they’re fake? They’re fun to look at.
Fun to LOOK at?!? Dude, you need to explore your options more.
I’m not going to fondle some strange woman’s fake breasts. That would just get me slapped.
Or laid.
What universe do you live in, exactly? Women are individuals, not prizes you win in a screaming-about-your-penis contest.
Have you even ever given fake breasts a squeeze?
Not as fun as the real thing I can tell you
Liar.
Fake breasts squeeze back. Creepy.
Damn.
So… what do they do in a large formerly socialist Asian country?
Explode?
WIN
in communist russia…
In Soviet Russia, fake breasts, um, still squeeze back?
WHAT??? You mean we’re NOT just mattress-monkeys to be used for your pleasure and amusement?
*head asplodes*
*squeeze*
*asplodes b.p.’s head*
Don’t you mean assplodes?
Don’t worry. He didn’t really mean it. Women are not “up there”, as they evolve, they will indeed develop matresses on their backs and Cosmo is an intelligent, informative expose on what all women really think.
What’s that say about Maxim?
Not taking FailBlog too seriously FAIL
I thought the whole “screaming-about-your-penis contest” thing would clue you in to the fact that I was kinda joking around. Apparently, those actually exist, or else you would have found that funny.
I’m the Michael Phelps of screaming-about-my-penis contest.
So you’re saying you “elevate” it to an Olympic event?
Pfft. Hubris fail.
:p
*hands Killerwit eleven gold medals*
So you get other people to do all the hard work then claim all the glory yourself? I don’t see that as being something to boast about….
“Screaming-about-your-penis contests”?? XD
Almost makes me wish I had one to scream about. hmm. *eyes rubber fist phone number*
You’re married aren’t you?
Huh? I won my wife in a screaming-about-your penis contest.
mail-order bride win
Was it hers you were screaming about?
the above commet is made of epic win! ^^^^^
not you fuzz
playing the im sensitive card = FAIL
Oh no…that was most definitively a win.
We chicks LOVE that sort of thing.
Then why do I not have a beautiful, loving wife yet?
Oh wait, that’s right. I’m a college-aged loser…
in reality, im very much a romantic type, so sure, that would be great, but this was a bit much for a place like failblog… haha.
He probably used the word “look” because you can’t grab a Failblog entry and play with it, or anything else you can do with a gigantic fake breast for that matter.
comparison win
huge fake boob win, too.
but much like a faked video, faked breasts dont jiggle as much
Aha! Obviously you’ve never printed out a FAIL and had your way with it!
Strange fetish you have there…
Fingered prints.
Copylation.
More like copying a feel.
It’s all about the oragasmi.
Paper “tigers”.
Concopypiscence.
Ryu-zin
(check it out via Google images)
DRAGON ORIGASMI!!!!!!!
wantwantwantwantwantwantwant!
Aren’t you worried about the paper cuts? Or maybe that’s part of the attraction,,,,, *shudder*
Worst circumcision EVER.
“Paper cuts”….
Unintended euphemism WIN!
try it with a lolcat.
SOOOO FAKE. The airbag senson sits on the crank case and only goes off with about 5,000 nm of force or more. Realism fail
who cares, fake or not its funny as hell.
That looks like my great-grandmother.
I’d hit that.
You’d hit anything
He has a lot of bottled-up rage. Something about a chromosome.
Y?
Because it’s an anger issue.
Is there any other way?
——
You’d better not poke it. I’m serious. :[
Don’t laugh at this comment.
*laughs*
I f***ing said not to laugh!
-pulls out an RPG-7 and blows away Tiamat-
*laughs more* This would be why I wear a bullet-proof vest when I leave my house…
I’m sure that a bulletproof will keep you safe from an RPG…
arguing one’s point FAIL.
Seriously, what is this? an… RPG?
Shoot me with your missile, right here, right now.
If you can make my computer explode, kudos.
I hate getting Rick on a lame ass roll.
Face it, Fuzz. He’s never gonna give it up, never gonna let you down.
Never gonna run around and desert you either.
Or make you cry, or say good-bye, or tell a lie and hurt you.
or dance well
Oh Fuzz, you naughty rube. I’ve been thnikka-ed!
I have no earthly idea what you are trying to say.
Do you want me to blow you up, too?
Their Quoting a Song Idk who sings it, but it was parodied on
Family Guy when Peter wanted to be 18 again.
Peter killed the guitarist and Brian filled in and said “This song’s
By a Gay Guy!” and plays a song that says “I’m never gonna
Give you up, never gonna let you down! I’m never gonna
Run around, and hurt you!” I hear that song a lot at work
Seriously, Kroger Needs a New radio station!
Perhaps, as your name suggests, there is no “song” at the place you “work.”
Would you like some “happy pills?”
Nah… I’ll have to agree with P M…. the music at Kroger stores is pretty lame, even for someone raised in the 80′s. Good lord, I’m getting old.
Noticing which comment I’m talking about FAIL
my friend actually was shot in the ass with an RPG. lost three fingers, but kevlar did save him, so i guess it can work…We called him SGT Stubby after that..
I’m failing to understand how…
1: Your friend lost 3 fingers when he was shot in the ass… I thought I understood human anatomy better.
&
2: How the kevlar saved his life. There’s no butt plate on kevlar. There’s a crotch plate. If he really got shot in the ass, dead on, I doubt he would have only lost some fingers. More like the lower half of his body. Unless it misfired and didn’t explode right away.
well there is this thing called shrapnel, kevlar stops shrapnel ( depending on size/ speed/ etc ) and it was not a direct hit, but enough to leave major burns and missing fingers and pieces of metal lodged in the base of his
helmet. it explodes, and having been a medic, i know enough
to know that things that explode rarely follow the rules…
That’s the clarification I was looking for. Thanks, Adoni.
Explosives protection FAIL!
i think she looks like the Queen
Oh noes, so close yet so far from winning the “first award”.
What is this “first award”? It sounds dubious.
Indubitably.
sounds Dubya-ous.
O rly? What do you get for being first? The hatred of the entire Fail Blog?
O that coveted award!
Yep. :] We all want to be first, but scream at whoever manages it. No one wouldn’t mind so much if whoever is first can think of a more intelligent post than “1st!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Jerk. Old Lady WIN!
Agreed.
Mercedes-Benz collision sensor confusion FAIL!
FIRST!
I call sloppy seconds!
Shotgun!
Anti-personal mines!
Purely business mines!
Claymore!
Plasma-rifle in the 40-watt range!
Large. . . gun. Yeah, a really great, big, gun. One with a scope. Yeah, that’s the ticket.
A twig I found in my backyard that I pretend to shoot at passers-by with! =D
A killer wit.
really, REALLY lame puns. that no one laughs at. except me.
My trusty flamethrower.
The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.
no … shit no … i’ve seen the way you count
One! Two! Five!
Three, sir.
Three!
Just remember, crossbows need no silencers, and swords don’t need extra ammo.
you can still hear the air friction of the arrow…
until its lodged snug in your skull
Bolt. Not arrow. Bolt.
BFG
for those who dont know what that is…
play Doom
and the 9k is still pure ownage
Portal gun!
a pointed stick!
And one cheezburger to rule them all . . .
Gotta go with Lightsaber! Question though:
If a Jedi gets his or her (or its (seriously, how do you tell the ailen species’ genders apart?)) arms/legs/tentacles/whatever severed, then couldn’t the force be used to float?
i’ll use my Love Gun
MikeW, i’m not sure how many times you have had your arms/legs/tentacles/whatever severed, but i think it may be a tad bit distracting and don’t think it would be all too easy to concentrate well enough to use the force effectively.
This is true, but what of Vader? With the exception of tentacles (I think), he’s had all his extremities severed. And Yoda’s able to lift a starfighter. One would think he could perhaps hover himself a few feet off the ground.
but 1. vader was also basically a cyborg by that point, so kind of ahrd to compare, and 2. yoda has all his limbs. 3. darth vader’s theme song would be sooo damn lame if he floated. it would really take away from his image
you know a man with a stick would easily beat a man with a nuke because the man with the nuke can’t shoot the man wtih the stick without killing millions of innocent civilians (for which just about every country in the world would declare war on him) so the man with the stick just has to stay near civilisation and slowly make his way to the man with the nuke whom he will easily beat up with his stick.
So you’re telling us that if we sever limbs off of jedis (or sith) that we could then easily finish them off?
5 is right out!
an african swallow carrying a coconut!!!
A hot chick with huge boobs!
dirty spoon!!!
The sword or the explosive device?
If the pen’s mightier than the sword, then what does that make fire?
*BLAM!!*
Dammit Dragon! Everytime you fire your gun, a mattress monkey bursts into flames!
Luckily, you are, much like myself, firing blanks.
Window Seat!
Bet you sleep in the wet spot, too.
pop-shuvvit attempt fail…twice!
First one landed – counting FAIL
Second attempt looks like a varial heel – identification FAIL
I can’t wait to see your second attempt.
playing Tony Hawks with your little sister doesn’t make you an expert on skating…
No, skateboarding for 13 years does though. Insult fail
First attempt landed – counting FAIL
Second one looks like a varial heel – identification FAIL
lack of delete button win?
i’ve thougt of that a lot lately…
failblog did this on purpouse so other ppl can tear us apart with more fail-comments
With your spelling I don’t think you need any help from Failblog. Do I need to say it? FAIL
O-hohohohoho.
Pwn’t by a granny.
stand back super granny is slooooooowly walking through
authenticity fail.
probably fake but very funny (i’m from France, forgive my english:D )
Compared to some native English speakers on this site, your English is pretty good.
Yeah, he writes very good.
In Soviet Russia, your French forgives!
*shakes head in disgust*
In Soviet Russia, head shakes you!
In Sarkozist France, people now try to look american.
In planet Earth, Soviet Russia jokes are lame.
On planet Earth, Soviet Russia IS a lame joke.
Dang it. I knew I did something wrong.
Just kidding, Russia. Don’t disappear me.
In Georgia Soviet Russia isn’t even a joke.
Amen, brother
I used to have a Russian girlfriend. I mentioned a fondness I had for some of the Soviet Union’s Science Fiction. She said, “The Soviet Union IS science fiction” (she wasn’t smiling).
Gotta watch out for those Russian hands and Roman fingers, my dad always used to say.
On planet earth, people learn when to stop leaving replys
on planet earth, people know when to stop replying on the same comment
No need to be all adverbsarial toward the foreign guy.
Now we’re just mincing words….
At least it wasn’t volga.
(oops, my bad — i thought you said minsking words. )
That’s what you get for puntificating. I’ll be contemplating your punishment.
*grooooooooooan*
Definitely not faking it.
*loooooooooooooooooool*
better than you. it should be ‘he writes very well’.
don’t feel too bad, in soviet russia the grammar corrects us all.
In Soviet Russia, we use capitals.
In the U.S.A., we don’t constantly use the same old joke time and time again.
Is that because you are all prudes?
No, it’s because we have people here who actually have the brains to think of something new for a change.
I notice that you haven’t though of anything…
I notice that you cant think of how to spell “thought”.
Cant? Change the vowel and there u are.
Now, if I wasn’t on a five year old laptop that my dad let me use until he got me a new one for college, mistakes like that wouldn’t happen.
Funnily enough, I made a typo and you slated me,
but when you make a typo you are void of blame.
Nice consistency.
I didn’t say that I was, I was merely stating the fact that my computer is a piece of shit.
Better watch out DrDr. Tiamat is actually Obama and everyone knows that you can’t make fun of Obama.
LMAO! That reminds me of a picture I tried to get on here. I was trying to play multiplayer Starcraft with a friend. It wouldn’t let me on Battle.net because it said that my CD key was being used by Barack Obama.
No, Jim. Tiamat is actually David Hasslehoff.
And no one Hassles the Hoff.
And I’d also like to mention the fact that you’re calling Obama a multiheaded dragon…
That’s the weirdest racial slur I’ve ever heard…
And I live in North Carolina. I’ve heard plenty.
go heels
I have another question for y’all:
You all blast people for making typos, but you all keep messing up “Obama’s” name. It is spelled “Osama.” Why do you look the other way on this one, oh Grammar Gurus?
I just set an entire colony of orangutans on fire.
Sorry ’bout that.
*facepalms one last time*
Its ok Dragon, PeTA (People eating Tasty Animals) understands the urge to BBQ.
I notice that you forgot to abbreviate correctly
‘cant’ should be ‘can’t’. Before you make a comeback
questioning a person’s spelling, make sure you do so yourself.
An apostrophe is not spelling. That, my friend, is punctuation.
I’m glad y’all are friends now.
etymology of “punctuation”:
M.L. punctuationem (nom. punctuatio) “a marking with points,” from punctuatus, pp. of punctuare “to mark with points or dots,” from L. punctus “a prick”.
____
source: Online Etymology Dictionary
Someone’s being a little punctuation.
LMAO!
simpsons already did it
In Soviet Russia, capitals use you!
No, in America, capitalists use you. The Soviet Union was a workers paradise.
You know that part in the ‘Hunt for Red October’ when they start singing the Russian anthem? There were several native Russians in that cast, and they flat out refused to sing that song as Americans. Flat. Out. Refused. Tell me, how hard would you work if today, tomorrow, and the next day you will be paid just as much as the lazy a$$ next to you that does practically nothing. No insentive to perform. Marxist theory even said there would be times when Communist economies will have to resort to capitalism to survive. Then the government has 20-50 years to revert back to communism. This is the perscribed cycle. Hmm…how many years has it been since the Soviet Union disbanded?
That was why many Russian-made stuff was so poor in quality. For many products, if you surpassed you daily quota, you would get a bonus. Inorder to pass that quota, many shoddy, or dangerous, products were made. For example, medicine bottles were often mostly water.
Also a doctor could be paid just as much as a factory worker. For some, there goes one huge incentive to work in medicine.
(By the way, it is “incentive.”)
(Why does it put a Smiley? I didn’t even put in the correct punctuation! )
Well.
WELL!!! DAMN YOU
WTF?
(I’m English, forgive my French…)
i’m pretty sure I saw this on stupid videos a looong time ago. Freshen up.
You’ve seen it! Well done!
Many of us have not seen it, so it is fresh to us.
Anyway “I’m pretty sure I saw this”?! How can you tell FAIL Blog to freshen up when you need to freshen your memory!
Okay, next douche rocket to say “This is old…I’ve seen it…fail blog needs new fails…” is invited to STFU and go sit in the corner with the this-is-a-fake-tards. Secondly, go out and find something new then, and post it. That would be a much finer contribution than driveling about how fake or old something is.
That public venue your mom calls a snatch is old and fake, but I don’t hear your dad complaining about it.
i’ve had this video on my myspace page for almost a year now…
and you don’t hear my dad complaining b/c he divorced my mom 25 years ago
jeeeah I did this video myself 1380198 years ago. It’s really old fail. OF course it’s fake too.
that’s quite impressive where did you get:
A) a road
B)a car
C)a skateboard
D)clothes
E)an airbag
F) a pedestrian crossing
G)shopping bags
really i want to know where to buy things which have yet to be invented, i could really do with a teleport
I nominate the snatch comment for burn of the week! gg sir!
Epic , as it once was
I love this one
Old video! Saw it ages ago.
Would you like your congratulatory pat on the back before or after you f*ck yourself?
Tee-hee.
KookyKiwi, your free bottle of aloe vera is on it’s way.
I would’ve hit it. Yeah, I would’ve banged that granny hard.
So you’d hit the Old Bag over the Air Bag?
Hmmm… priorities, priorities.
I woud have had hours of juicy sex with the granny.
You woud have? I have wood!
I think you’re delusional…
When you do your banging, you may want to use a new air bag, preferably the kind with a reservoir tip.
I ^^’ed
you went Chinpokomon after reading the joke???
SWEET!
You always give us a good ribbing for our pleasure.
Chatouillement, chatouillement!
LOL … à la française, no less
Black Mambos! Crocodile Ribs! Sheaths that are designed not only to protect, but also to enhance the stimulation of sexual congress…. for I am a Protestant.” ~ Monty Python’s Meaning of Life.
Be careful, females, he might give you splinters.
Or Donatellos.
kawabonga
Or Titians.
*squeeze*
No, I think you’re thinking of the Reubens.
Now that’s the way to pique an appetite.
The only juice coming out of that thing is the blood you draw when you rip open her tissue-thin skin while you’re holding her hips.
Looks like you could use with some punctuation, darlin’, to get your mind on something more amiable and maybe raise an exclamation or too.
Two, kid. Two.
Eh … tu … ya brute.
Nah, it’s fine just the way it is, thanks.
Careful, don’t break her.
Double hip replacement coming up!
it is in fact FAKE. air bags do not stay inflated after they are deployed. it is, however, a clever and funny video. staged or not.
Correct. Win.
No, it is completely REAL!
A completely real IKEA commercial with the end bit clipped off. I can’t believe all the people making up crazy scenarios to explain how this could actually happen…
Real commercial != not fake
ancient, AND fake. failblog FAIL
Sooooo the PERFECT example of instant karma!!
This is an old video. I think it was actually an ad for something, or a PSA about stress or somesuch nonsense. They spent some money to make it look homemade.
Finally, a nice young person who respects their elders. Now could you please bring me some prune juice?
GERROFF MY LAWN!!!
Damnit, you just made me pee my pants. Young whippersnappers…
*hands Sara some Depends*
Hope you still feel that way when you turn 69.
They shouldn’t die, but they should definitely start taking driving tests again.
Ugh I hate Nursing Home calls. They have almost no clue what they’re doing there. A paramedic comrade of mine once responded to a cardiac call at a home, but when he went to intubate the patient (tube down windpipe), the patient bit down on the equipment. The staff didn’t check the pulse of a sleeping woman.
Hardly worth posting – much less being featured on Failblog.
Am I the only one who saw ‘Honking Fail’ and assumed it was about Amy Winehouse?
No no no.
brilliant … now get back to rehab
I love it!
German engineering FAIL. They never have been good with electricity.
But they’re killer with gas.
Zing!
“Zyklon B!”
Good game, Jews. Now hit the showers.
Especially when it is in a blimp
Could the editors please edit? The 15 seconds with the skateboarders was unneeded.
I believe it puts the clip into context.
Otherwise you’d think someone was randomly filming some old biddy crossing the road who then happened to twonk a Merc and set off the airbag.
Stupidest Comment Win.
Aaawww. I wanted to see what happens next :[
Quick! People who’ve seen this ages ago: what’s the granny gonna do to mean angry corporate guy next?
Savage animal sex?
well she first takes a number of objects out of her bag.
firstly, a gas canister. secondly, a ligher. thirdly, a hand grenade. and finnally, a sub-machine gun.
then she uses the lighter and the methane from the gas canister to cause an explosion and set the car on fire . then she soots the man and then she uses the hand-grenade to blow the whole lot up
It is an IKEA commercial, with the end removed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=deF2NI5s634
FAIL indeed.
Old Lady WIN!
This looks more like an owned video than a fail one. Sure the dude fails, but only after he’s owned by the old lady.
This was an advert for a british TV station called Bravo.
That guy deserved it! Honking at that little old lady. I wonder what happened afterward. I hope it ruined his day. Really, is he so important that he couldn’t WAIT 40 seconds. HAHAHAHA! BURN!
Well that’s what you get for honking at old ladies.
Gotta be a viral ad of Mercedes, seems fake. And BTW: First! (hehe)
If this is a viral ad, its a pretty bad one. It would be saying that Mercedes owners are impatient asshats. Really the image they want to put out there.
To be fair, they are only asshats of the highest standard.
That’s what he freaking deserves for acting like such a donkey’s butt.
Note to driver: PATIENCE IS A VIRTURE!
airbag win!
I think its funny! I don’t care if its real or not.
Wasn’t this on “world’s funniest commercials” like …. two or three years ago?
Shit, I’m surprised that cartoons aren’t being posted as evidence of real life fails…
whoever posted this has just found the internet because it is as old as the arc.
photoshopped!
editing program fail
My grandmother did that! (But that’s not my grandmother)
Dad answered the phone one day:
Cop: Is this Mr. Jones (names changed to protect those who don’t care)
Dad: Yes it is.
Cop: This is Officer Such-n-Such with the Marysville Police Department. We need you to come down to the station to pick up your mother – she’s been whacking cars with her cane again.
(If a car gets too close to her while she’s crossing the street – WHACK! I also approve)
I’m confused, is this another reference to savage animal sex?
Clearly.
It might be fake but…
OLD LADY WIN! =D The expression on the guy’s face was priceless.
Agreed, granny win!
Fail @ being funny viral video?
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-934445185124354618&q=road-rage
Win. XD
yeah cuz you would know all about that!!!! hahaha
Woot! go old guy!
Gender fail.
Old lady win.
That guy got totally owned, WIN XD
Not only fake, but OLD FAKE, saw this what, two years ago…
I nominate this for a fake Oscar win!
Little Old Lady WIN!
Indeed, I applaud you for agreeing with many on this site.
What is with all the unrelated comments?If y’all wanna chat try a chat room…. I hear that’s what they were made for…..
Nah chatrooms were made for predators to pick up lil kids. haven’t you ever seen to catch a predator?
chat rooms are evil, not alowed on them, if you go on chat rooms bad people will come round your house!!!
FAKE + OLD
[insert witty mom joke here]
Technology understanding FAIL. Airbags don’t deploy if the vehicle is doing less than 10mph.
Its soo old. And realy a fake!
Was she asleep?
She seemed to jump a bit at the start…
you’d jump if a horn went of next to you for no imidiatly obvious reason
splelnig falirue!
Granny Win!
Granny *brick in bag* win!
Mustve been somethin pretty heavy in that bag.
Plus, the lady jumps before the guy honks his horn.
That’s what she said.
pedestrian win
it could be real with added sound effects…
whether it’s fake or not, he deserved it.
jerkface deserves it
So this is where all the self righteous internet megalomaniacs come to desperately try and discredit and get one over each other.
I guess if it’s going to be anywhere it should be Fail Blog. Respect for your fellow man fail.
“Hi, Pot…? It’s Kettle!!! How’re ya doin’???*
I mean, sure, there’s some of that, but if you’d actually read the comments you’d see that there’s a really great group of smart, funny, witty folks here who enjoy each other immensely.
Erm…each other’s company, I mean. I know what you were thinking, you pervs! :p
::enjoys::
Now when you say “smart” you mean..?
care fail!
Video gone
spelling FAIL. it’s video GAME, knumb-nuts!
KARMA! That’s what you get for honking at an old lady! LOL!
(as shown earlier it is a commercial that was made, so not gonna argue about being fake or not)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Air_bags#Triggering_conditions
it is in theory possible that the situation could be real (ie someone striking the front of a car hard enough to cause the airbags to deploy). usually an Airbag has multiple sensors which (as described in the wiki page) it uses to determine if there has been a crash or not and if it should deploy the airbag, I will reference this idea again in a moment
the situation in the Video (from the audio) is that a car came to a sudden skidding stop and then experienced a sudden impact to the front bumper. now without knowing the mass of the bag, the density/hardness of the contents, the acceleration, end velocity and the time that the impact acted over and also what type of sensors were in the front of the bumper we can’t prove anything but if say the lady was carrying canned items (so reasonably heavy and solid items) and got a good swing at the bumper And hit say an impact or accelerometer, she could produce a measure over the Threshold. Especially in a situation like this Because as far as the airbag ECU is concerned, there was a sudden skidding stop then a sudden front impact over a set threshold (assuming that she hit the sensor dead on with a heavy and solid load in her bag with a good swing) these characteristics (sudden stop followed by a front impact) are exactly the type of input the ECU would receive in a real Crash in which case it would deploy the airbag.
so in response to all thats been said: In theory it could happen in real life, if a car comes to a sudden skidding stop with the brakes on full and the wheels locked then experiences a sudden front impact from a pedestrian striking the bumper with rage and the pedestrian hits a sensor with all the afore mentioned criteria satisfied. it IS possible that this could happen.
But highly unlikely as a lot of variables would have to be satisfied and the chances of that happening are very small
You are one galactic-scale sack of flatulence.
For one thing, 12 seconds pass between the stop and the lady hitting it with her bag.
For another, your own link points out that airbags no longer trigger at low speed. (Zero is pretty low).
I would also add that airbags deploy much more violently than this, and the deflate completely in a few milliseconds.
L-i-v-e-s……
…. w-i-t-h-o-u-t … d-u-m-b … c-o-m-m-e-n-t-s … b-y … TG24.
^WHAT YALL NEED
i digress
COMMENT MODERATION FAIL
Who cares if it’s fake – it’s still f**king hilarious
Honking Fail, Old Lady WIN!!!!
This is one of my favourite clips EVAH!! It doesn’t really matter whether it was made as a commercial or actually happened, although I heard from reputable sources when it was first sent to me many moons ago that it was real, it still has a great object lesson. I have it on my computer, and watch it whenever I need to cheer myself up.
Asshat.
Go lady!
Revenge of the Granny.
That’s more like OWNED than FAIL. But, it’s cool anyway (and funny)
lol old lady power XP
POWNED! BY AN OLD LADY!
I didn’t read all 500 comments before mine… But for the record, this was a setup and a fake.
Airbags work with an accelerometer that only measures G-force. That’s why they don’t deploy half the time if hit from the side or rear in a high speed collision. They are designed only to measure front-end collisions. (Side impact airbags are a different matter entirely)
They also don’t deploy in parked cars…. Or cars that are revving their engine but sitting still.
Just thought I’d bring some science into the debate.
That lady is my freakin’ hero.
Old Lady obviously had her wheaties that morning. Sveeet. >XD
It a completely obvious fake based on production values. The sound quality is too good. The framing and editing are too good. This did not happen by accident.
Anybody who thinks for 2 seconds that this is real really ought to be institutionalized for their own protection.
Way to go granny!
lulz!
OMG ILOVE THAT OLD LADY NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PAWNED!!!
pwn shopped
go old people!
this is fake because it’s a clip from a swedis tv program called anders and måns
granny win =)
haha i guess grandma fell asleep can’t stop laughing
Pwnd. Honking at an old lady: fail. Old lady retaliating? Win.
Grandma WIN!!!
DoucheBAG.
XD win.
this video has been proved as fake video
–> FAILBLOG failed XD
fake.fake.fake.
laghf out loud!this is so funny i don`t know what to
say at all.just funny things in this wourld.
Lol gandma don’t take shit from anyone
Why does the driver of the car remind me of Nick from L4D2?
o.O
Granny win!
karma WINWINWINWINWINWINWINWINWin *huff* *huff* (exhaustion death)
Who cares if it is fake? it is funny as hell!
funneey!