Submitted by Robin
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Cheezburger Company Blog
FIRST!!!
I’m sorry it won’t happen again, but it was my first first and I just wanted to bask in the glory.
You may decide to slate me if you wish.
I will decide if I want to decide to slate you or not…I have decided I shall stone you instead while you bask in your unashamedly shallow “achievement”
Too late, I’m already stoned
Cannabis WIN
Smoking Mariji-wam-bam-thank-you-pot is a great way to get stoned. Then there’s committing adultery in IRAN FTW. Public stoning! Everyone looses!
Misspelling “loses” WIN
If ya catch my meaning, everyone “looses” stones at the public stoning. So spelling “looses” correctly win.
Sorry, loosing was not an option.
Reference to previous fail WIN!
Referencing a reference to a previous fail that has become
a Win WIN!
Dows Win?
You fail. The previous fail you’re referring to was “loosing is not a option”.
Here’s a first. Killerwit gets busted for correct grammar, and claims to have misspelled a correctly spelled word.
The world is suddenly scary…hold me!
Just saying that you fail if you misspell a spelling based fail
And I’m just saying that, for you, losing is the only option.
You’re clearly showing you’ve got nothing left to counter. You, once again, phail.
doesn’t one person gain stones?
Epic re-burn win!
Reply win!!!
Walk in today…to our second story showroom.
Then roll your new wheelchair down our scenic flight of stairs!
But beware!!
A smiling, hungry, croc is lurking near the bottom!
And failblog comes full circle…
Past reference combo win
Fatality!!!
in sovi- you know what? no. in fact, in soviet russia they said no more soviet russia jokes or theyll send the spetznaz to come kill your ass. and they will.
Assuming they always make it out of the croc’s mouth and need a new wheel chair they would have to walk back up the stairs and roll back down into the croc’s mouth again.
Endless loop WIN!
Chris taking on an escalator to the center of success.
But he stopped at S____ucks on the way.
Well, he had to have something to drink before watching Harry Potter Knocked Up Evan Almighty.
And then going to buy a guitar for -29 dollars off.
While munching on gummy lighthouses with Tyler Cannon.
And listening to SHit radio while trying to shoot a mouse with a .44.
Before turning on his Wii and getting mounted by his dog.
But years after advertising the Breast in Bed on live TV.
And then going on a weather report that calls him a child molester.
Because he got kids to sit in his massage chair.
While he went to Wal-Mart to buy his mother some condoms for Mother’s Day.
an Martin & Co. America’s Guitar, made in Mexico!
so he can use the power of rock to kill afro ninjas doing backflips.
Back first amitrite?
They see me rollin….they hatin…
(comments will nest below this level)
Stating the obvious win?
…but if you didn’t reply would you nest? No. Would I have had to sacrifice myself to the same doom as you? Yes.
All aboard the failboat! Would the last one on, please hoist the anchor?
didn’t I tell you that the boat’s out of gas?
nevermind, it’s the failboat anyways
set sail for fail!!
Who needs gas or sails for where we’re headin’?
Wouldn’t matter anyway, we’re stuck on this sand bar!
If a bird nests in a forest, and the tree falls down, and nobody is there, would you ask the obvious question?
What’s the obvious question? I ask
Does it fail?
(comments won’t fail below this level)
a winnar is me then?
actually.. you’re a spelling failure
He’s a condom failure
LMFAO!!!!!!
oh, as the last one on, “all hands on deck, raise anchor, hoist sails, hard a starboard and away we go”
You men. Always talking about your hard starboards.
What about the poop deck? You forgot the poop deck.
I’ll bring the port. Do you like the red or the tawney?
Ooh, red please. I’ll bring the Chips Ahoy (more than one chip each this time, I promise, K!).
We’ll have a girl’s party! I think the guys are still playing with their mizzen masts, anyway.
If we have a girl’s party they certainly will be playing with their mizzen masts!! They have such dirty minds!
Though they may object if we keep saying that their masts are mizzen.
I’m old school — any cute dental hygienists on board, I’m prepared for some mouths-moistening mast-o-dontics. But it’s not all about me, gals — N.B. the plural form within that initial “m.-m.m.”
____
TMI Service note: “N.B.” is the Latin abbreviation for “nom bene.”
Condom fail and chromosomal fail, either way it’s a downer.
Hehe, I got that.
….
Down’s Syndrome, that is.
Okay… Let’s play the thankful game! You first, talons.
I’m thankful for life going on, and on, and on, and on. . .
I’m thankfail for low self-esteem and/or roofies.
I’m thankful I’m almost halfway through this thread and I haven’t seen DrFailgood yet.
I’m grateful for the beauty bestowed to our world by the heavenly Graces, and for great gratifyingly gratuitous buttsechs.
… oh and for the fact that I only had Down’s syndrome one time.
I’m thankful that dragons have built-in *FOOM!* abilities.
And that I know the difference between “your” and “you’re”.
I win!
(birds will nest under this tree)
(Comments won’t nest above this level)
Disasterous FAIL, of course they will
About six or seven more FAILS will certainly nest below my level…
See? Proof positive!
*looks at talonsofpeace’s AIDS test*
Are you sure you want to do that?
*washes hands*
In Soviet Russia, comments nest YOU.
And then then fry your genitals.
The ad isn’t for wheelchairs, it’s for mobility scooters which are a means of transport for lazy people
Fighting Obesity FAIL.
True and obesity claims the “winmedal”
…and then Obesity promptly ate the “winmedal”. NOM NOM NOM!
Lmao obesity trait observation win
Did somebody call me?
That is actually Isn’t a scooter, but a power wheelchair. …not that it matters, still funny.
“That is actually Isn’t”
then WHAT THE HELL IS ?!!
dude.. you’re making me dizzy..
you fail at humor
This comment I am making is actually “isn’t true.”
you fail at dishonesty
you guys fail for no telling me the inside joke on all of this
I WANT IN!.. dang..
All of our inside jokes are automated. The database cannot be accessed at this time.
The good news is no spywares were founded.
But a few foundations were spied wearing suspiciously-placed drinking straws…
… but my lust is so sincere.
it’s beyond me
Walk in and roll out today
)
Roll out like Ludacris.
What…short and annoying but rich?
Works for me. I have 2/3 of that so far.
Let me guess, it’s the short that you’re missing?
Well, it’s either short or rich. Clearly the third has been proven already to be there…
Self-knowlege win
and that ain’t bad
Um… penis? (Rich with ho-made BBQ sauce, yum yum.)
walk ‘n’ roll hoochie coo
*shoobeydoobies*
PETER GABRIEL!
STING
SINEAD O’CONNOR
BONO
THE ARTIST FORMERMLY KNOWN AS PRINCE
DETHKLOK
NIRVA-*bang*
This round of Soviet roulette obviously has a winner.
(Anybody want to ask Killer Cobain if he’s willing to go for two out three?)
I’m willing to try that 66.666 (bar) percent of the time.
But he SWORE he didn’t have a gun!
But Janie does.
ROFLCOPTER. I shall refer to the band formally known as “Nirvana” as “NIRVA-*BANG*. Also, DAVID BYRNE!
I love talking head. Wait, that came out wrong… (and maybe I just did, too.)
Psycho Killerwit…
FA FA FA FA FAAAA FA FA FA FA F AAAAAR BETTER
Insanely good call.
you rock!!
CAPSLOK
that was so funny i almost shit my pants
I’m excited to see how horsegirl is going to kill this one :p
hahahahaaa
I see that you hafta walk in for an appointment, but I don’t think it’s funny.
WHY SO SERIOUS?
Like a Leper.
I think you mean, “Like a Leger.”
I think you mean, “I think you mean, ‘Like a Ledger.’”
Why not take an accidental overdose?
This time we won’t cry.
( R.I.P. fine actor, would that we had known thee better. No joke. )
No kidding. Tragic. (Still, no joke.)
Maybe it goes back to the time when my dad took me to the circus, and a clown killed him.
Ya wanna know how I got these scars?
You ate my cookie.
Cant see a fail there.. As its a wheelchair for seniors, and not a usual wheelchair for people who are paralyzed. Seniors use it due to the fact that they are to tired to walk, not because they cant!
unless that wheelchair for seniors turns out to be freakin’ Optimus Prime.. i don’t see any older people walkin’ any stairway
hehe.. comment win!
There are plenty of bed ridden, fork lift needing fattys out there that chase their delicious cake in these… NOM NOM NOM!!
WHAT?
They misspelled Walken.
Next time he make an appearance, you should catch him if you can.
( Bring your cowbell. )
I’ll bring my weapon of choice, not the cowbell.
Best video ever!!
Not all weapons of choice have the medicinal value of the cowbell…
Darlin Ruiz works in the hause across the street from there. There, you roll in and walk out!!!
Sexist seniors make no sign of welcome to senioritas.
Discrimination against diseases does not welcome senioritis.
i would have just assumed they break your legs upon entrance.
building customers through hard work and crowbars since 1980.
Roll in today lmao
FAIL
Read the other posts first and how the hell would they roll in they don’t have the wheelchair yet
69TH !!!11!!!111!!!
That comment should be 86′ed.
I’ll call in the 187.
Now that’s gangsta.
Mafia beats gangsta, I’m gonna have to have ya wacked.
*Gorgonzola spits into his own hand*
…and then wacks?
I was hoping he would beat it.
Looks like a good time to discuss the comma sutra,,,
Is that the ancient Indian text where punctuation procreates in peculiar positions?
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
More like
¬|
masturbatesmasturbates : masturbatesmasturbates
Good training for disabled ppl to go to the toilet
That or newspapers.
If you come in with a god reference, you might be able to walk OUT.
Or maybe you walk in first and THEN you need the wheelchair…
I don’t get it…
Hysterical LOLZ at the expense of handicappedness WIN!
So, has anyone else notice that the pic changed?
yeah
a glitch in the failblog fails again matrix
watch out for r-….never mind.
It’s an obvious fail! the sign didn’t sprout out it’s legs to run away from the falling rocks!
*says in a sarcastic tone*
Dude… That looks IDENTICAL to a rock slide that I almost drove into years ago. Where was this picture taken? Anywhere near the California counties of Mendocino and Sonoma, only further inland?
safety fail