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Reference Fail


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Submitted by Kristján P

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» 207 Failures in Communication

  1. Me says:

    Well, you don’t get a much more credible reference than that.

  2. shoobeydoobey says:

    and i am second

  3. MrDan says:

    And yes I’m over-posting, but I thought I might be helpfull with some vocabulary :
    .
    HAUSE CLEANING : Cleaning the hoes (notice how hoes are misspelled)
    .
    PLEASE COLL : Meaning “Chill Out”, “COOL” being misspelled as “COLL”.

  4. Cash-- says:

    Please be sure to include a god reference in your resume

  5. K says:

    I find God references to be particularly helpful when applying for a clergyman position.

  6. Lord Dragon Claw says:

    I need my Hause cleaned. I only need you to be referenced by a God, is all.

    • Klaus says:

      Gozer: Are you a God?
      Dr Ray Stantz: No.
      Gozer: Then… DIE!
      Winston Zeddemore: Ray, when someone asks you if you’re a god, you say “YES”!
      Dr. Peter Venkman: All right! This chick is TOAST!

      • Winfail says:

        Epic Ghostbusters quote WIN (going from memory at least)

        • Fahzbehn says:

          Yet another Bill Murrey quote about God, from Groundhog Day:

          Phil: I’m a god. I’m not *the* God… I don’t think.

          • fuzz on the concept says:

            (Yet another Bull Murray’s buddies reference about God, from his ‘Brothers — )
            “We’re on a cleaning mission from God, ma’am.”

  7. Winfail says:

    Darlio Ruiz (if that is your name?) we salute you, for your enlightening and funny advertisement. I would offer you the poistion of “hause” cleaner, however I’m unable to contact this “god reference” you speak of. Hence please proceed to the pie shop (where it is a serious matter of not laughing at the sign warning you to not poke the pies) otherwise you will pay…

  8. Roo says:

    I don’t think I’d want my house cleaned by one of God’s messengers. Everything they touched would warp into a world of fiction, then my goldfish would die at Easter then claw their way out of the tank and float away 3 days later.

    .
    Isn’t it supposed to be ‘good’ reference?

  9. Lol says:

    Definitely not 6 years experience in English that’s for sure.

  10. Bo says:

    If she really had a God reference, she would at least be able to spell ‘house’ right.

    I’m going to send the guys after her that failed earlier with: ‘respect are country, speak English.’

    That could become an interesting discussion.

    Personally, I have a Goddess reference.

    • MrDan says:

      As far as I know Darlio is a guy’s name.

      Probably 6 years experience in sex change.

      • Winfail says:

        Thank you Dan San, I too thought it was Darlio but was corrected by someone saying it was Darlin

        • MrDan says:

          The truth is : You cannot be sure with this font. The misspelled “coll” is surely not a “cnll”. But Darlio VS Darlin…

          But don’t listen to the big meanie. He’s a big meanie.

    • joojifz says:

      “I’m going to send the guys after her that failed earlier with:”

      I made my point…

      He didn’t…

  11. NeoApocalypse says:

    With god on your side, you are bound to FAIL!

  12. DrFailgood says:

    in soviet russia, house cleans you!

  13. DrFailgood says:

    doesn’t God (isn’t it spelled Gawd?) love everyone, so shouldn’t we all get the God reference? Or she she speaking of the ONE TRUE GOD that you have to go to a specific church to know?

  14. SanSan says:

    I like how he managed to spell a words like “experience” and “reference” correctly.

  15. Bo says:

    If we follow the Bible (not really worth a capital, is it?) we’ll have to realize that the one true God is a sadistic piece of shit who created us solely to punish us. And according to the church, he cannot handle his money very well, and needs us to give him loads of it. If we don’t pay, he’ll punish us. Sounds like nothing more than a school bully taking milk from the smaller kids, just because he can.

  16. Bo says:

    Hope my avatar works

  17. Bo says:

    O crap you have to click on my name in order to see it

    • Art Vandalay says:

      Yeah, that would be God’s payback for your comment about him being a “sadistic piece of shit.”

      • Bo says:

        I think you’re right. And it proves my point, doesn’t it?
        He’s still a sadistic piece of shit. Even more so after his little avatar-trick.
        When I die (which could be in the next few seconds given his reputation) I’ll throw his almighty ass out and rule heaven. And I promise that I won’t do the burn-forever-in-hell-for-thinking-for-yourself-thing. That should be a relief.

        • Bo says:

          And to the got-late-last-night-not-entirely-awake-people: Please do not place a serious comment on what I just said. It was a sin…. I mean joke

        • Rissa says:

          Oh, i dunno.
          Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
          In place fo a Dark Lord, we’d have a BO!

          • Bo says:

            Looking at history, you could very well be right.
            So therefore I should not be the one with absolute power in heaven. Then i’d be calling myself a sadistic piece of shit and God is the last person (or whatever he is, but he appears to be very human) I would want to be like.
            Therefore, I call for a democratic heaven!

            So be it!
            Although it does hurt me not being able to change things towards what I see as just (like God so violently… I mean effectively did).
            What the hell am I gonna do? Vote? Haha!

          • Jim says:

            Bo is really basement cat!!!!! Quick! Everyone flog themselves for reading his posts!

          • Dragonwriter says:

            LOTR (sorta-kinda) quote WIN!!

        • GK says:

          Another pointlessly-fashionable Christian-bashing fail! We’re on a roll!

          This particular trend really took off after the Americans voted in that Bush guy. I blame them for this tedium.

  18. Sorsha says:

    That would be an ecumenical matter.

  19. Lambwithwings says:

    “Sorry, but when I called your reference, he told me that you need to learn better English before you get a job as a hause cleaner.
    No, srsly. He did.
    Go away.”

  20. jinx says:

    It wouldn’t be so bad if it was written by hand, but the fact that it’s typed means they neglected the spell-check, and that makes it so much better.

  21. fuzz on the concept says:

    Look again at that first letter: she meant “Mouse cleaning” — a euphemistic way of saying she refers them to their Maker with a .44.
    (And when a Mause survives, she writes a polite graphic novel about it, with Jewish devotion.)

  22. Carroll says:

    God’s in the hause!!!

  23. Mldjstd says:

    Good God !

  24. chicpea says:

    cleanliness is next to godliness. unfortunately not for spelling…

  25. Miss Lynx says:

    I’d be kind of scared to hire God’s housecleaner. They’d probably take one look at my apartment and then the sprinkler system would switch on for forty days and forty nights, while my pets and I had to float somewhere up near the ceiling on a mini-ark hastily constructed from Ikea shelves and bungee cords.

  26. K says:

    The gods must be crazy.

  27. Jeremy says:

    In his hause, God cleans you.

  28. marissa louise says:

    i want my “hause” cleaned by someone who was referenced by god.

  29. Allegra! says:

    hahaha! reference INDEED win!

  30. OMG says:

    I like to suck children’s penises.

  31. Bo says:

    So you must be a priest of some sort?

  32. Unianimously Fail says:

    that’s one hell of a language barrier right there.

  33. Styx River says:

    Well…

    There’s a really good referral. Only problem is that contact information is hard to come by.

  34. allegra says:

    well at least he doesn’t charge

  35. ProdiG says:

    “Well you seem experienced enough for this job. Do you have any references?” the homeowner asked.
    Maria just smiled and answered, “You have no idea.”

  36. kevinxito says:

    they spelled house wrong so its a fail and a win


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