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Ah, good ol’ fashioned “Getting hit in the face with a coke bottle” fail.
Life is grand.
What “getting coked up” means if you’re a D.A.R.E. graduate.
Although I know this to be not true as at least one guy I went through 5th grade with is in jail for cocaine possession, comment WIN.
I don’t think you can declare your own comment a WIN. So by default, you lose.
You said “lose” therefore you FAIL!
Reading comprehension fail.
You paradoxically win at failing to understand the concept of replying to a comment.
whaaa who said lose???? There is only fail !! Kill the none believers
belief FAIL ^
“non”-FAIL. (Reverse Psychology)
double plus un-fail. new speak is upon us!
this is so funny i almost shit myself ohhhh yeahhhh!!!!!!!!!
iFail, i thought he was gonna recreate the sprite commercial and do a front flip into the tennis court and seriously hurt himself to give me a cheap laugh at slapstick comedy.
i wanna learn how to aim those properly @ objects… that would b so cool…
More like coke win, punk kid fail.
Punk? Punks aren’t the same here.
punk = baby elephant
punk = youth in a homosexual relationship
in other words woodsrider = punk
Making fun of homosexuals=deep seated self hatred and inability to admit own sexuality
thanks for not tolerating homophobic comments
You WIN!
ummm… i thought punks were just a fashion group from the 70s … so now your telling me they’re all gay …. ok that’s fine by me i never lived in the 70s
You’ve got the cart before the horse – “tough guys” in the 50s used to use “punk” interchangeably with other epithets for gays. The punks picked it up later as something to call themselves in a sort of tongue-in-cheek, self-effacing way.
nope = peanut sized brain, life spent under rock, a burden to socitey
In other words = Homo georgicus
He’s one of those things you use to light fireworks?
A flaming idiot?
no a flaming gay… fail i think?
This furthers my reasoning for why Eugenics should be allowed to continue.
Nah… Eugenics is for bureaucratic suckers. Being sucka-free, I would rather support the widespread sale of grenades as a darwinian measure, because close still counts with them!
oooh, they could sell ‘Coke’ in hand grenades… But, ya know, coke flavoured
It would be tasty, caffeinated death.
“Wait, Timmy, that’s not a Coke bottle, that’s a grenade!”
“Cherry Coke, Grenade Edition… pop one open and enjoy it!…for three seconds…”
“Try Grenade Coke Zero… not only is it zero calories, it will reduce your overall calorie count to zero!…in three seconds…”
yeah.. not funny
you have no sense of humer
Add some Mentos to it first
Exactly. People who drink diet Coke should not be allowed to breed.
This is not about drinking Diet Coke, it is about idiots who THROW Coke bottles not being allowed to breed. Also, most celebrities being castrated, I.E. Tom Cruise and Britney Spears.
And all Scientologists.
How the hell would you castrate Britney Spears?
britney can’t even be castrated..
Clearly you should be, though.
Castration is defined as removing of the genitalia, most commonly the testes or the ovaries. It is quite possible to castrate females. It’s called an “egg beater.”
Ovaries are not genitals, genius.
genitalia is the generic word used to describe reproductive organs of both males and females.
genius fail, genius.
Looks like you’d call a spayed a spayed and nothing but a spayed.
There are, nonetheless, usages for “genitals” and “castration” that apply to both sexes.
“Genitals” often refers to external genitalia more or less exclusively, but it can also find accepted usage in reference to the sexual organs more globally, i.e., including ovaries:
___
American Heritage Dictionary
gen·i·tals pl.n. The reproductive organs, especially the external sex organs.
____
As for “castration”:
cas·trate
1. To remove the testicles of (a male); geld or emasculate.
2. To remove the ovaries of (a female); spay.
3. To deprive of virility or spirit; emasculate.
_____
(There is also, of course, female circumcision, but we don’t need to get into that sick travesty. )
“Genitals” and “genius,” incidentally, share the same etymological root. And since you felt it ok to be mean to JD despite not having passed your own sex education classes, I’ll allow myself to say I hope you’re on better terms with your own genitals than you appear to be with genius.
*applauds*
Win.
Without a doubt that has to be the burn of the week.
Brilliance.
Quite frankly, brilliance.
not only is that a grammar win but also a work citation win i applaud you fine sir for keeping the world civalized by correcting one fail at a time
Plus, that is one of the best Shakespeare quote/puns
I’ve had the privilege to witness. My thanks, m’amuse.
Excellent! Correct use of the dictionary, English language, and the internet FTW!
epic, yeowch…
American Heritage Dictionary
Win
INTRANSITIVE VERB:
1. …..
2. To achieve success in an effort or venture:
yeah… but Oxford and Collins are more respected names
Agreed, definite burn of the week!
I’m in awe. Burn of the week for sure.
You actually did it:
http://xkcd.com/406/
Given the frequency of pictures of her vagina on the Internet and the fact that Kevin Federline has been there, I can’t imagine access to her not-so restricted area, for any purpose, would be all that difficult.
Now THAT’s epic win!
Meh, taking pot shits at Brittany Spears? Not so epic. South Park had her head blowed off within the first 5 minutes of her episode. Now THAT was epic.
“Pot shits”, while itself is a fail, is in this case a strangely appropriate win!
Paris: Oh my God, it’s so gross! Let me out of here! [a light comes on in front of her - it's the Frog King] What the fuck is that?
Frog King: Paris, you must find the way out of this place or you’ll surely die.
Paris: What?
Frog King: Make your way to the small intestine. There you will meet the Sparrow Prince, who can guide you to Catatafish. Now go, Paris Hilton. Make haste! [disappears]
That was EPIC
very carefully…
RogueThree WIN!
I don’t know, but I’m sure the YouTube video would get a million hits.
leave britney alone!
Oh, thx for reminding me.
**washing down my birth control with Diet Coke**
Comment WIN.
(Troll thereby proven FAIL.)
The Diet Coke is to prevent having to use a scooter.
I only take “the pill” to prevent diseases
pregnancy diseases? i hear they are having a sale on those.
site familiarity win
On DBZ Diet Coke is used to prevent using a Scouter. How do
you think they know each others power levels?
Ahahaha. I do that too.
Eugenics is only necessary if you don’t think evolution is true.
Let these guys weed themselves out.
If you haven’t seen Idiocracy, go rent it… you’ll be singing a different tune.
Please, society protects the momos who should been dead long ago. Since we won’t allow nature to take it’s course, we should do something to clean out the gene pool…
Serves him right for making a mess of a tennis court.
That tennis court has no “love”.
*groan*
First!
You failed at failing.
So he’s a success?
That if the fail failed, then it’s a win. Or it could be a fail FAIL. Anyone else? Brainy Smurf?
Two wrongs don’t make a right… do they?
No, but three lefts do.
Orientation WIN!
Nope. But two Wrights make an airplane.
And one Wright makes a hell of a good DS series.
Or PC game series, whatever floats your boat.
One Wright is a game character, while the other is a game designer. Both are Wright nonetheless.
Yes, I know. That’s why I made the joke.
you.fail.making.a.joke.
You fail at making a sentence. Yours is much worse in my opinion.
You fail it (”it” is not being a loser)
idiot
Owned by a soda bottle…
Coke ownage FTW
Coke ownage FTW
ah crap! doubled, but i put that in like 20 minutes ago?
Virtually everything fail.
Great observation on the failure of virtually everything win
Virtually or “in potentia” ?
.
Any pun related to male ability to procreate is (un)welcomed.
Er-actus interruptus?
Er-actus interruptu : Your mom ?
.
(Sorry, nothing personnal)
so everything software-related is a failure … well that sucks!!!
well that’s odd i should have replied to Anomnomnomymous’s comment
Server fail?
That’s what I’m thinking
Yeah, that’s more likely.
I think we should leave a note in ketchup for the server to clean up.. that will show it
“WAITED 20 MINUTES, NO POST SERVICE” eh?
They have great videos of stuff like this on YouTube!
obvious win!
Obviously!
thanks, Captain Obvious!
You said “Thanks”!
Did someone call for me?
Few, Captain Obvious is here. Reiterate everything so we can really get the point, please
Apparently I am the real “captain oblivious” for not noticing the”li”. Reading name fail.
no need to worry, we were looking for Captian Obvious.. you can zone out again. thanks though
Of all places…
doh!
Coke Fail? It looks like the Coke won…
Indeed ^_^
it’d be funnier if it had hit him in the balls
That’s not a Coke fail, that bottle got revenge!
Star Trek: The Wrath of Coke
William Shatner: PEPSSIIIIIIIII!!!!!!
Nicholas Meyer (Director): Uh, Bill… you’re an idiot. Let’s try it again, people!
William Shatner: KHAAAAAAAANNNN!!!!
Nick Meyer: I have an idea! Remember that Khan Noonien Singh from “Space Seed…” Instead of Coke, it should be Khan!
[And that's the story of how "The Wrath of Khan" came to be]
THE END
Think about music.
Awesome!
Did it hit him?
No. That’s the fail.
Not for lack of trying though, LOL
It made him fall over… that’s a win!
It definitely hits him. Not in the face in the face or chest for maximum fail mind you but it certainly clips his arm/shoulder. you can see it hit him and then the spray changed directions to aim at the ground at the end.
Coke rocket – Win!
Agility stat – Fail!
It definitely hits him. Not in the head or chest for maximum fail, mind you, but it clearly clips his arm/shoulder at the 7 second mark. You can see the foam spray completely change directions and pinwheel around until it’s aimed at the ground at the end; it must’ve hit something to change its direction.
Newton’s First Law of Motion – WIN
Remembering to train his agility attribute – FAIL
I watched it it totally hit the fence and just barely missed him.
If it had hit the fence the spray from the impact would have been below the bottle. As it happens the bottle flips the opposite direction, which would be impossible the way it was angled at the fence. It must have hit his arm as he dove away, knocking the nose down and spinning it like it did.
Pedantry win.
*Removes mask and lays down +16 sabre of engineering physics education*
Touché
Ummm… you guys know this is fake, right? Not reel phyzicks.
In Soviet Russia, you hit the bottle! (Seriously. Vodka’s HUGE over there.)
You know what… I think that’s the first “Russia” comment that wasn’t an utter failure. Gorby was known to take a shot of vodka and two aspirin every morning. Of course, being allergic to aspertame, the whole idea of having a bottle of flying diet coke heading at my head makes me ill. Coke fail is that it missed the shmuck.
Hmm, mixing aspirin an booze is guaranteed liver fail FAIL. Perhaps this liver fail FAIL is what accounted for Gorbie dying. . or maybe it was the mole. Or the furniture vodka. Or the radiation in Moscow. Or being poisoned.
Or maybe it was ALL of them. o.o
That and heart failure fail.
So little body, so much fail.
Gorbie (AKA Mikhail Gorbachov) is still alive. Today he wrote a Washington post article.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/08/11/AR2008081101372.html
On the otherhand, maybe you were refering to Gorbie the hamster:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwMzeQXaTRc
who is claimed to have died of reasons unrelated to asprin and vodka, probably outside of soviet russia.
Actually thought he had died. But as a true story aside, I had a Siberian hamster as a kid. His name was, in fact, “Gorbie”. My cat ate him when we were on vacation. Cat win, hamster fail.
Gorbachev is still alive!!! Fact checking FAIL
Maybe you were thinking of Yeltsin…
Coke win!
No, this was a Coke WIN – it totally pwned that idiot
Originality fail
Seeing as I posted that comment when there was only three other comments, then it took about half an hour to post, during which time apparently everyone had the same idea.. yeah… Attempt to burn fail.
Middle!
LOL majjhimā paṭipadā! for the lulz.
Also, I think this took place in Soviet Russia.
I have heard that in Soviet Russia, bottle hits you.
Activities that may lead to laughter are not permitted in Russia. Unless you count the invasion of former Soviet Union states as humour.
What doesn’t take place in Soviet Russia
The political process.
zing!
killerwit ftw
In Soviet Russia, politics process YOU!?
Yeah, that sounds right….
Enter politics = Get poisoned by former KGB and “Disappeared” to a gulag somewhere in Siberia. That or forced marched over into the furry hat/vodka factory where you spend your final years working your frail, cancer ridden body to a skeletal corpulence.
Corpulent is fat
Skeletal…well, not so much
Mixed metephor win?
I don’t know, Dread’thro, you’re going pretty easy on that oxymoronicism.
Usually when talons says something stupid, it’s easy to make something funny out of it, but I’m afraid “skeletal corpulence” nears beyond the fail territory.
Maybe, just maybe, talons is simply big boned with an unusually thick cranium.
thick cranium.
oh that’s just great — now I can’t appear to get talons’ fat skull out of my head.
You and your mizzen could always stop by the girls’ party for some…distraction.
ch ch ch ch ch ch. . . .ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Well it isn’t ‘invading other countries’. That definitely happens.
win
Georgia, we hardly knew ye.
Now where will the midnight train go?
Anywhere
Journey win…
Gladys Knight and the Pips fail?
Georgia on my mind
Ride the midnight train there
And make lights go out
Put Putin’s lights out
Sounds like much better idea
What’s aggression earn?
OK, Keats scholars:
“Beauty is truth, truth beauty…
All ye need to know”
What did you expect
Except some Ode favorite puns
From me, your poet
Look on Dread’s works, ye mighty, and despair!
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
______
pace Shelley
Not overused jokes.
…
Humanity saddens me sometimes. )’:
Sometimes? You must not be paying close enough attention.
Misanthropy WIN.
I hate you.
“If you’re not outraged that kids are wasting soda trying to abuse tennis courts but then get owned by an errant flying coke bottle, you’re not paying attention.”
You’re not trying hard enough, I hate everything.
That’s what she said.
Ah but you must like bleu cheese? Oui ou non?
I think I might try that..
Getting ideas for activities from FailBlog WIN-ish
Yeah, but almost definitely a FAIL in the end
Nono !
With some luck, the bottle may manage to hit him.
be sure to post the video after you do for some future failness
Kinda like going out and buying a trampoline after watching an episode of American’s Funniest Home Videos.
xD
Be sure to tape it while uttering things such as “Hey dude, watch this!”
sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!!
Better than drinking it.
This video reminds me of college:
Some of the guys in the dorms were doing the same exact thing with a 2L and the bottle ended up propelling itself through a window on the first floor. Just so happens that the window it went through belonged to the kid who was tossing the bottle.
That sounds like a karma win!
Chakra Cola WIN
Diet dharma WIN
“tossing the bottle”
If that was a euphemism, the story would be much funnier…
Lol! Yeah, I bet they were spending the entire evening tossing their bottles together!!
First! (Yeah.)
You fail more then me O.O
If you fail on a fail blog… does that mean you win?
No it means you failed, and you, sir, are FAIL
FIRST!
No. Last…at this point.
A fail? Perhaps… but a boring one!
Yeah i suppose it is pretty boring, seeing as I witness killer coke bottles every day. (sarcasm for those of you too ignorant to get it)
I wanna say stunt win :p
Never fear, FAILBOY IS HERE!
Keep it up and the nitwit may require a visit to a mentos hospital.
I was scrolling down to to mention a lack of Mentos, you bastard!
Outwitted again.
fuzz & killerwit: ULTIMATE FACE-OFF
Ultimate FAIL-OFF
Take a mint -shaken -in -a- bottle -of -diet -pepsi, Gorgonzola, your cheese is stinking.
*applies some FAIL-OFF to keep the Gorgonzolas away*
Looks like, instead of facing off, we’re tag-teaming! *slaps Fuzz’s hand*
Sounds like a killer-concept combo to me. *fist-bumps back*
Anybody messes with us, they can expect some quality off-with-their face double-time.
And when we mess with one another, we can get John Woo to direct us to some cheesy ass references to a Nic Cage and John Travolta movie, you bastard!
*pop corn for everybody*
*cue doves flying in slow-motion*
Also, intentional slow motion image from a fast motion picture thereby making a commentary on the day the earth stood still and moved under my feet = TRANSCENDS CHILDISH GARBAGE AND GETS OSCAR OUT OF IT.
Also, intentional space in “popcorn” thereby making a commentary on today’s cinematic standards=EPIC WIN
This boy shows moving potential.
nah, just the mentos morgue
is it just me, or does it look like the bottle goes through the fence after it pwns the kid’s face?
Is it just me, or does it look like the bottle doesn’t hit the kid or go through the fence?
The sissy-running at the end of the clip really made the dot over the “i”.
He didn’t even get hit but still he is bitchin’.
li3k 1n tha’ wor1d – w4a7 wa5 7hat.
Decrypted: Lik’n tha’ word – WaWaHat
Comprehensibility FAIL.
Yeah I don’t even understand it
Yeah, sorry. Trying to type an understandable comment while being bothered by sleeping deprivation is hard… Luckily I have no such thing.
But seriously, one of my many good friends wrote that comment while I wasn’t paying attention. Unluckily, I have no such thing as friends.
Well, really… My imaginary friend(hypochondriac) with sleeping deprivation, because he has brain cancer, wrote what comment while I totally didn’t pay attention. Fortunately my imaginary friend died of his imaginary disease while I wrote that comment of mine… Ohh, damn, you got me there…
.
.
.
How’s that for a non understandable comment?
.
.
.
Now where did I put my glass of pills?
Didn’t I see you at band camp that one time?
Ohh, yeeaaaah! Hey Jim, great to see you again. So how’s that rash in your buttock cleavage doing?
HEY ! The full stop to skip a line is patented by ME !
.
.
.
And I self-burn better !
Huh, well, I guess you’re a legend in your spare time then.
DODGE WIN!
You mean, DODGE FAIL.
no, he totaly doddged
Really? I thought he only partially dodged.
Yeah, he Dodged like Stephen King.
your comments fail
Nice, Coke finally rebels against humans
I don’t know what he was trying to do, but the result is pretty spectacular and his recovery into double birds at his friend is solid. Taking his age into consideration, I’m going to give him a win.
This guy is all coked up. I know, I know, horrible pun. Flame on.
DUDE!
That was awesome.
First!
Why no sound?
Because you touch yourself at night.
When I think about you….
I touch myself.
Aw, you shouldn’t have…
If you’re thinking about me, you better be using the shocker.
That’s why I touch myself in the morning.
It’s hard to get dressed without doing so.
Or maybe, it’s just hard.
No… Clearly it’s meant to be: putting dressing on yourself while getting hard….
Your efforts to look like a man in this forum failed. You won’t get hard; you will get “Humidity” near your anus.
Your name is near anus.
photoshoppped!
Photoshopping a video?
Something ain’t kosher with you, bub.
HaHa… very funny
P.S. No
That’s what she said.
(obligatory…)
More dangerous than the drug? Coke: the drink. Details at 11.
Oh, I wish this video came with sound. “Mommy! Mommy! Look at what I did! Did you see? Did you see? Tee hee!”
It IS cool to know you can actually launch a Coke missile. Well, I’m off to the store and then probably jail.
No coke. Pepsi.
Ahh, so THAT’S why it failed.
heh, takin’ it to the SNL, old shool.
I can has cheezburger, cheezburger, cheezburger, cheeps?
I’ve been watching from 4 seconds to 7 seconds over and over… and now I feel like having it in a gif animation. Can anyone deliver?
Another ad from Pepsi Corporation
XD
Coke WIN: smashing in the face of every single douche bag, one at a time.
1-0, Coke. Service: Douchebag.
Cheeky, Cheeky … where’s the love?
There is none, and it’s all his fault.
Scoring without love? The soda bottle seems so empty now.
Perhaps to a pepsimist.
(filth fail — fuzz can’t bring himself to make cheeky references to a bottle half filling or possible male-female differences in the realm of bottled love)
At least he looks happy…
Quit staring at my junk.
….
Just kidding. You may continue.
DANG! Epic win for the soda bottle!
lol
awesome!
That was TOO funny!
http://www.momstop.blogspot.com
Way to get your ass kicked by a coke bottle!
Way to get your ass kicked by a coke bottle.
Yeah, getting your ass kicked by an inanimate object!
Btw, Andy, how have you and your keyboard been getting along?
Wonder how many testicles he has left after that one?
Still just the one…
FAIL. That was obviously NOT Lance Armstrong.
Oh God, that was in bad taste, wasn’t it.
Question mark fail. God-f***ing-dammit.
Don’t take it too hard on yourself. We’ve all been there. Of course – with all, I mean everyone but people on this page – except you – obviously.
I like how the guy holding the camera is shaking from laughter.
This is a Coke win! Not many soda’s can dream of becoming a deadly projectile.
good thing the guy didn’t turn around when the bottle went back at him this could have been REALLY painful
i love reading the comment wars on here. thats basically why i come here
No one cares … but for some reason I managed to read your comment and start a war over it.
Still, no one cares. Irrelevant WIN.
It’s the simple pleasures in life, isn’t it?
Backflip win
BOOM! Headshot!
hahah
nice backflip.
a backfire rocket
niccceeeeee
See? Soda IS bad for your health!
So is sitting at a computer and typing comments about retarded little video’s.
Burn WIN.
Hypocrisy FAIL.
LAST!!!!!!!
*first* comment down here
Now that’s what I call accurasy. lol!
I bet pepsi isn’t cool enough to hit some retard in the face!
Wow this guy got sniped
It takes a real idiot to do something like that.
Kinda like me.
takes it to the face
actually, it was kinda cool, nice dodge
Thankyou Fail blog for muting that travesty. because that dudes’s laughter haunts me
Damn he’s accurate!