Laughter Control Fail
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More sweet, sweet diabetic death.
You poke the pie, you gotta pay for it. What happens in Vegas…
…requires a prescription to treat.
Ohh ty I get it now xD
stays in vegas…
I SMELL A SITCOM
I’m fucking dis custard
Second sign should have been, ‘You laugh- You pay double.’
:[
They are serious.
dead serious…
im scared! :[
I’m shakin’ in my boots
I’m looking for some sugar to calm me down.
*hmm … when I find some, it will be a win*
*hmm … but that win might fail to calm me down*
*hmm … and that fail would be a win*
Did you just, in essence, say, “Gimme some sugar”??
WHY do you have to make things so complicated?
Because Dragonwriter is female. Duh!
*ahem*
Fuzz…you might wanna duck….
*stokes the fires*
Don’t waste your breath on this ever-consistent jackass.
(jackasses wont nest below this level)
I poked. And paid.
i know me too i might have to pay 3 whole cents
They are vampires.
*coughdonotpokethepiecough*
coughyoupokeyoubuycough
*coughstopcoughingonthepiecough*
*coughpenisss*
*youhaveadickinyourmouthgoaaheadandchoke*
*coughyoufailcough*
*coughyousuckcough*
*coughbutnotforfreeunlikeyoudocough*
*coughsoyouchargeforyoursrvicescough*?
*cough3.50cough*
*coughthepieisabetterdealcough*
*coughmesuckysuckycough*
*cough*
This is some killer chronic. *cough*
This is like some killer chronically coughing. *wit*
*coughlolololcoughsnortgigglecough*
have you guys thought about robitussin for that cough? it does sound serious, don’t laugh.
:[
You know, bonocat, the spiritual clown, Wavy Gravy, is a social activist who sits on the board of a number of progressive organizations. And he always brings a box of Groucho Marx glasses to the meetings, with the understanding that anyone who uses the word “serious,” must wear a pair of those glasses for the remainder of the meeting.
In this case, though, I’m afraid we’re going to have to get medieval on your ass.
dude i already wear glasses, bring it on!
*sneeze*
*coughthepieisaliecough*
*couchitmighbeaterriblecasaeoftuberculosiswhoknowsmaybeyouhaveemphysemalikeamywinehousebecauseyouspentallofyourfortuneoncrackwhichissillyifyou’reapopstarwithassloadsofcashcough*
RICOLAAAA!!!!
FINALLY a breath of fresh mountin’.
So… Ricola? I see.
TLDR
*see above*
:O clearly not! why you rude person… FAIL
*coughthecakeisaliebutyoupokeyoubuycough*
:]] ha ha ha. ha ha ha. I laugh like robot cause i have square jaw. ha ha ha. ha ha ha. :]]
This just in:
A man has been fined the total amount of one pie because he poked it. Officials say that he is a serious offender and he is what you would call “a serial poker”.
This is not the first time first time this has happened; last year a man from Soviet Russia pied a poke and was eat to forced the pie whole and plate the metallic.
Back to you Fail Reporter Shoobey Doo WAP
That story is a lie. We all know that in Soviet Russia, Pie Poke You!
Reading your comment, I feel really happy that I refrained from writing this joke.
refraination win
(refriednation’s to the south)
VieuMove refrained, but the pokers did not.
Bunch of savages in this town!
Yeah, what Fuzz said.
Yeah, laconic wit.
Damn. I have yet to frain ONCE, and here people are refraining already.
You missed the ‘frain. But meet me at the station. I’ll reserve your refraination. And I won’t be slow. Oh no no no.
(*fraining = lolmonkeespeak)
Sorry…can you translate that into loldragonspeak for me? :p
Seems my comment was really funny. Hope i can understand it one day…
This is all i found:
1. frain
To cease. What you ask someone to do before you ask them to refrain.
When the annoying fat girl says something she thinks is smart but is just stupid and fat, tell her to “Please frain!” When she continues, add “Refrain!”
Merde. This guy speaks English better than we better-than-English Americans do.
(Your original statement was neither unfunny nor ungrammatical. We just like to make noises.)
Please see comment on other thread re: people taking our punning just a weeeee bit too seriously.
(puns wont nest below this level)
they cant
:[
This just in:
Fail reporter fails to report anything.
:[
stupidity win/inyelligence fail
y u didnt’t u’s t?
why didn’t you spell out words?
why didn’t you yell inyelligently?
Yeah, Y?
“Why you didn’t you is t?”
WTF?
Comprehension FAIL
Yep, me too. I totally cannot comprehend that shit.
Commentor notice fail ¬_¬
u misspelled “i’m clueless” ( .) (. )
typo
burn of the week nominee right here guys
i lold my ass off
You Poke
You Pie
How come 98% comments on this website are absolute shit?
Seriously, are you guys trying to be funny? You’re all just wasting your time. What’s going to happen when the internet gets full-up because a bunch of smug bastards wanted to twitter on using about 5 words over and over again: win/fail/lol/roffles/soviet russia.
And that’s without even beginning to mention the oh-so-funny wank jokes.
NOT cool. You need to take a long look at yourselves in your webcam.
webcam? ::masturbates::
Mr. Doughball-lina?
::pities::
ANOTHER HUMOR IMPAIRED TROLL! SOUND THE ALARM!
*aaooOOOOOOoga…aaaooOOOOooogaaa*
Someone from the National Association for the Humor Impaired (click my name!) will be along at any moment…just hold tight!
*ahem*
NOW click my name.
*goes off to fail some more*
You’re playing the doctor wrong.
Now you’re doing some healing.
*cue Marvin Gaye*
*bow-chicka-oooooooooooohhhh…..*
some sexual healing?
sure, why not
More like HAY-ell yes!
Roffles!
yeah…”Roffles plaza” … Hyuk Hyuk !!
In Soviet Russia, plaza roffles you!
don’t forget their loud rock and or roll music and the shaggy hair. get a job you bunch of hooligan hippies!
back in my day, the internet what a respectable place you could get all your glittering emoticons, dancing babies, rapping grannies and hot mails all in one place. we had to use icq and we liked it dag nabbit! it took you a half hour to download one pirated song and you paid $40 to do it. you whipper snappers today flying around in your roflecopters, buzzing on the redbull and the cheetos. we didn’t use Google, we spelled out all our words and we walked those tubes, up hill, both ways!
you tell’em old timer!… so what are you now, 20?
Win.
This is the best comment ever !!
um perhaps you missed the fact i was being SARCASTIC, and you might have figured that out if you actually noticed i was replying to someone before your eager need to reply.
and no i am not 20, considering that would have made me all of 7 or 8
and that demographic is not exactly known as the internet pioneers.
learn to read before you write.
You mean IRC, right?
Memory fail.
Knowledge of early IM platform fail.
sir. those are 6 words. ;O
“Fail”.
another fukking math genius FTBurn
(Genus insanus)
Subgenus annoyus nolongerus
ummm…subgenus…you mean species, right…….BIOLOGY FAIL!!!
sub·ge·nus
Pronunciation:
\ˈsəb-ˌjē-nəs\
Function:
noun
: a category in biological classification ranking below a genus and above a species
I think we have a sub-genius here.
damn public education system failing me again…….i should go to dragonswriter’s school of teh internt, then i will be teh 1337…
wait a second, subgenus needs to be enclosed in parenthasies and can be no more than one word…umm fail correction fail…so his scientific name is as follows…
Insanus annoyus nolongerus
once again…i return to glory!!!!
o dman
wait…
fail…
Insanus (annoyus) nolongerus
following own guidelines fail…damn…
Beating a frivolous joke into the ground until it’s no longer even remotely funny fail?
Maybe it will be funny at the Olympics.
“WIN”
6 words…. not 5. Telling us off FAIL!
another fukking reading skills idiot
(Subgenius lookupandreadsomethingwhydoncha)
might want to take some valium there, fuzz, you’re taking this whole thing waaaaay too seriously…
*nods compassionately … reaches across and hands stfu a copy of Get a Life magazine … and helps him see the friendly people there who have learned to read and count to six*
Fuzzy WIN ^_^
*hands back dog-eared ’self help’ magazine from fuzz’s collection and says ‘the pages are stuck together’*
You really got through to me, dude. *signs off forever*
forever is long time in a webcam
Why are you complaining? You just added to the 98%.
That’s 6 words, mister man.
You poke
You die!
You poke the pie
But pie is a lie!
In the end there will be cake
there really was cake
Cake is a lie.
Pie is a truth.
Take the red pill!
Genius. Pure brilliance! They should win some sort of baked goods for the sign. What? No, not pie, it’s too good. Maybe a slice of pie. Maybe.
Ninth! FTW
Fail hardly? Or hardly fail? Or hard penis?
Penis? ::masturbates::
I sincerely hope you are of the female persuasion.
Whenever I’m in the midst of some good poking, I laugh.
That’s what she said?
PILF: pies i’d like to… poke
*PILP
getting the point fail
sounds like the pie gets the point…
Failing to notice his acronym fail FAIL
Failing to realize that the acronym fail was intentional and part of the joke FAIL.
Fail to realize that acronym fail had failed, was not funny, oh, and I liek mudkips.
Mudkips? ::worships::
Winning at being a big damn PIL–
no wait … then that would mean …
STOP IT DON”T LOOK AT ME ANYMORE RIGHT NOW
*sticks his plum-soaked thumb in his mouth*
What a good boy you are.
That’s what the plum said.
A real plumdinger.
Best comment I’ve ever read. * * * * *
Couldn’t possibly be true fail
talon could you please refrain from posting right before me from time to time ?
somebody should cut off your internet connection! You’re, like, stalking my posts…
:-S and that face: Something’s not right about that face.
I cut off my internet connection and it grew back. And the face? Don’t worry, it’s just a plasticine mask I use when out butchering defenseless creatures.
Reading often FAIL
MOM!!!
tikikisila, etc, won’t stop tickling me with his PILP!
it’s making me laugh funny, and i don’t think i don’t like it.
*all confused about laughter control fail*
they were asking for it
I don’t see a question mark.
but it’s obvious from the skimping, asking-for-it-way they put on dressings
That emphasized the question mark.
*sees a great business proposition prospect*
So, let me get this straight [sic] — there is “pay” when “you poke you”. So all I’d have to do is poke myself a few times, morning, noon, and night.
Wait, what time is it?
:::pokespokespokes:::
(whoa … do it too many times and wheels start spinnin’)
Shut your piehole.
Quick, before the manager comes out.
Don’t you worry, I can handle a menager.
:::wink x 3; nudge x 3; poke x 3:::
Specially if that menager is coming out bi.
I’m not sure we can find one of those for you. We can tri though.
And when you succeed, we can tri and tri again.
triathlon … for the gold … and the silver … and the bronze …
and then we can practice the pentathlon …
and then they will put up a sign about too much poking …
and then we will laugh and try out for the decathlon …
and then they will put up another signs …
and then it will just be one big happy perpetual marathon …
COME ON EVERBODY,** WORLD PIECE!!
[ **not necessarily in that Japanese way]
Suddenly the words “pie hole” takes on a whole new meaning for me…
m’you 2
*sneaks into previous post*
*steals superfluous “s”*
There’s a shortage of those yanno…gotta conserve ‘em.
*surreptitiously gooses fuzz on the way out*
oh my m’ews
THAT…was brilliant.
i like the way your kitty sounds, too
*purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…*
Hurry up and fuck each other already, this online toing and froing is sickening me.
Aw. I think someone’s intellectually frigid.
You can get help for that, yanno.
(poke toy reference … you pay … like it’s a stylus going out of its pocket monster)
(there’s a longage on those you know, gotta get ‘em all)
I GET it, I GET it!!
*lobs a Poke-ball at fuzz*
Go, Charizard! Charizard used Flamethrower!
FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
It’s super-effective. Not just effective, but super-effing-effective. That’s something only Pokemon can offer you.
Go, Psyduck! Psyduck used Hypnotize!
RogueThree is dazed…wait…what the fuck is going on! Psyduck’s using his Pokeballs on RogueThree! O.O
WHY SO SERIOUS? LETS PUT A SMILE ON THAT FACE
3 cents?!
thats what she said..
No, she said “Oh my god I can’t believe you’re poking a pie with you’re penis”
*your penis
that’s not what Cameron Diaz said
(though she might have said you’re dickish)
I hear she’s fluent in dickish.
I taught her everything she knows about dickish.
a proud paedagoggy
*pets the goggy*
*wonders now who’s teaching whom’s*
(Comments wont catechist below this level)
chain chain chain the concatenated fools
down in the cattycombs
*pets the catty*
*catty’s the bones*
3 cents a poke?!?!?
Lets get it ON!
I think a few days later they will have another sign telling you not to laugh at the 2nd sign, eventually creating an perpetual-pie-shop-angry-sign-chain-reaction.
Correct indefinite article failure!
*high fives self*
Roo rootin’ for Roo!
And in a few weeks it will be a sign shop. And it will fail, and everyone will need something to eat. And they’ll make some pies. And then …
they’ll become a success center and have that go out of business?
precisely … then a picture of their center will be on failblog … then a “how they got their start” picture will get posted of their restaurant… then you will make a comment on that … then I will get into some insanely idiotic never-ending comment, forgetting to be careful around double-meaning recursively reflexive plural singularities … I assure you, you do not EVEN want to see that doppel gang banging around heedlessly … so please don’t bring it up with so much precision … because then a picture of their center will show up on failblog … and … then will it fly high like a bird up in the sky … then a post will BEGIN with a footnote … then Jaques Derrida will just quote unquote die with a line drawn through his texture … then I’ll tell you the rest before I get even started …
then a rook will sit atop his steed and soar
a rooky observation
I hope the pie had Facebook. I’d SuperPoke it… and all of you guys.
I’m sure we’d all be very gargarkinky grateful if you did.
(may the SuperPoke force be with you)
Would a visualization of SuperPoke be an index finger wearing a cape?
One pie is 8 cents and the other is 3. If I were to poke-a-pie, I would choose the 3 cent pie. Not because im cheap but because I could get more than one poke for my dime. But I gotta wonder why the other pie is over twice the cost of the cheap pie? If I poked it instead would it FEEL like I had poked twice? Then I wonder about the buns in the background. If I poked the cheap pie I might have enough to poke a few buns. crap. All this pie poking and buns is getting me all randy and stuff. I need friends. With pie and buns. Coughboobiescough.
I’m not sure that’s a 3. I think that’s the pie for tea-bagging.
The 8 center** may be the only one for poking. But you still might be able to afford it, since when if the pie realizes it’s you, it will feel cheapened instantly and you might get to end up with your five-fingers discounted.
_______
** relationship between the 8 center and “success” is discussed ad absurdum in a previous poke.
I like poking
I like masturbating too, thank you.
you sound like a very nice and highly-cultured pooter
you may pirouette
Rain down on me pie goodnesssss!
I’m not entirely sure why they had to make the first sign in the first place.
It’s a stab in the dark this, really, but I’m guessing it was to stop people poking the pies.
I mean why were people stabbing the pies. Why would you do that? OCD??
Urge to bang pies? See: “America Pie”
I would assume that the pies pictured in this fail are cold. If you want to fulfill a necropheliac fantasy and bang one of them, by all means, have at it.
It’s a custard pie, not a corpse.
Custard pies are the corpses of apple pies.
Spelling a simple movie title FAIL
It’s fun and it feels nice.
Poking = Serious business
It’s not just for breakfast anymore.
Now you can even have it right before going to bed.
You can even get one of those little tray things and have poking in bed.
I love the little :[ they have on the second sign.
It’s like they’re going emo over being laughed at.
“Hay guiz I’m srs :[”
What if you got the pie’s consent?
then, by all means, consomméte
Eight cents for a poke is a better deal than a lot of people could get.
But I wouldn’t buy a pig for poke.
But would you look a gift poke in the…
…nooooo. I’m not going there.
come on face it
I like pie.
I like â•¥.
Looks right to me but this is probably an ASCII FAIL
I’m seeing it … oh you fukker!
Looks like that pi is going down just right.
brilliant
(I remain unclear as yet, however, if this is the ASCII A signification or has shifted 2 an M)
*lobs pi at fuzz*
Why can’t you be rational?
i can’t be.
Proof it.
Looks like I gotta go now.
Would someone please prove to me that you cannot prove a negative.
Found some nice reading on that question:
We will prove that pi is, in fact, a rational number, by induction on the number of decimal places, N, to which it is approximated. For small values of N, say 0, 1, 2, 3, and 4, this is the case as 3, 3.1, 3.14, 3.142, and 3.1416 are, in fact, rational numbers.
To prove the rationality of pi by induction, assume that an N-digit approximation of pi is rational. This number can be expressed as the fraction M/(10^N). Multiplying our approximation to pi, with N digits to the right of the decimal place, by (10^N) yields the integer M. Adding the next significant digit to pi can be said to involve multiplying both numerator and denominator by 10 and adding a number between between -5 and +5 (approximation) to the numerator. Since both (10^(N+1)) and (M*10+A) for A between -5 and 5 are integers, the (N+1)-digit approximation of pi is also rational. One can also see that adding one digit to the decimal representation of a rational number, without loss of generality, does not make an irrational number.
Therefore, by induction on the number of decimal places, pi is rational. Q.E.D.
Note that this proof can be used to prove the rationality of other mathematical constants, such as e, sqrt(2), etc.
Rational reasoning on an irrational subject.
Factor fails.
.
.
Not PI but piE !
You’re too positive.
You’re not negative enough.
Prove it.
Wow. Have you guys noticed how some people take our punning WAAAAAAAAY too seriously??
Yes.
That’s because we’re pun-dits.
*punts*
*dights* my Middle English punter
bend over and i will poke yer pie
you poke you buy, thats what SHE said
do you think they put the same sign on their daughter when she started dating?
Notice the handwriting on the new sign is different between sentences. I think they had “Do not laugh at sign” first, had to add an arrow because it was too self contained, and then people thought it was a joke so they added the bit at the bottom
I think I’m going to need to not think about that some more.
Good thought.
Thanks, I was afraid you were going to call me a Fagin.
Nah, I noe you’re buy.
A man’s got a heart, hasn’t he?
Joking apart — hasn’t he?
I’m reviewing the situation
Can a fellow be a villain all his life?
All the trials and tribulations!
Better settle down and get myself a wife.
Lol three cents seriously??? lolz.
I can afford to poke a three cent pie =] hahah.
lol and after I poked the three cent pies – I’d laugh while staring at the sign.
Thank the Lord for you chaps, you cause me to chuckle, and wish that I had a pie to poke.
YOU LAUGHED AT THE SIGN
YOU PAY
SERIOUS POK’D PIEMAKER IS SERIOUS
Never laugh at a tart. Dangerous.
How about crossing the streams?
Haven’t you seen Ghostbusters? You must NOT cross the streams. Well, you can in Ghostbusters 2, but it was lame anyways.
Haven’t YOU seen Ghosbusters?
“You poke you pay” thats what she said! and now I have Herpies.
I like the Borg smiley…
[:-)]
When Bakers and humourless Internet users collide…
(When I say ‘humourless Internet users’, I do not mean to say all Internet users are humourless. Just the ones who can’t take a joke. Nor do I mean to say the Internet is humourless.)
I’d pay just to poke it, sure.
Hm. So they’re upset over pie-poking and sign-induced laughter. Then how about keeping the pies out of reach of the general poking public?
“Sorry for the inconvenience, we will be closed for the next two months to add a display case to prevent pies from being poked.”
Where can you buy a whole pie for $0.08… cheap pie win… or possibly future digestion fail.
Yeah, I hate these “no touching” rules. They seem to be everywhere….
Damn Anti-sex offenders laws! *shakes fist at sky.* I really hate the no poking rule at the strip clubs too. Although they ask for your money before you poke not after. Unlike this “bakery.”
I CAN poke my pie and EAT it, too!
too bad there isn’t any cake
Or pudding pie!
Why did that just come into my head?
LAST!
Failing to be correct about who posted the last comment FAIL.
ahhh… the old you poke u pay rule, gets u every time!
dont piss off the pimp!
HAHA!
Little Jack Horner wanted for questioning.
(No relation to Mike Horner)
The store is in Western Australia, and they are called custard tarts (so dont poke the $3 tarts!!). I know they are $3, cos it is my local bakery, I remember seeing the signs at the time. The store has since relocated, and all cakes are now out of poking reach! They are lovely asian owners who taking poking very seriously lol.
Even the =[ on the sign makes me want to laugh. It’s fun to imagine the employees in the back making =[ faces when I can’t help but guffaw for all the store to hear…
Did they really write $3 directly on the pie???? maybe its a licorice flavored marker!!!!!! that’d be fun I’d like color my tongue if i had markers like that!!! OMG im gonna patent that no one steal my idea!!!!! but if someone dies from ink poisoning then you can claim the idea…………………….
Hellz ya! custard for three cents!!!
I laughed so much i cried…
LOL how they put a angry face on second sign