Actually, human beings are members of the “Great Ape” family. This “pregancy disease” as you call it, would be the result of intercourse with “apes”, not “monkies”.
yo dude, i believe that God made us all and that we ain’t evolved from apes and all that kinda madness. How on earth did the joke go from pregnancy being a disease to a discussion about apes and humans and evolution? That’s just weird and bizzare
It even releases the same chemical that parasites do to prevent the mother from from rejecting it like a transplanted organ.
So not technically, it is actually a parasite.
I have never been pregnant, I read this in New Scientist. The magazine that scares you out of becoming pregnant, old or addicted to anything.
Just because youve never been pregnant doesnt mean it wont happen man.
The government just wants to get you, and if it means “spermiciding” you while you sleep, well, they’ll do it.
Lucky for the men though, we dont have to worry about it, unless the guy enjoys the rush of feeling like an inmate. ^.^
Not planted, I see three books on that shelf about infertility, which is the main subject of the book in question. I wouldn’t say infertility is a “disease”, but it is a medical condition for sure, and bookstores tend to have very broad categories.
You guys are a bunch of idiots. The books next to it say “Infertility” so obviously its about HELPING ppl to get pregnant. The comments are more fail than the picture.
uhh…lets see “Childfree win?” how is that not related to infertility misrepresentation? Plz make sure you’re right before ripping on someone else. kthxbai.
all have some sort of symptoms. or else they wouldnt be a disease. but true, many STDs ( or STIs as they are now called, infection, not diseases ) you might be thinking of HPV tho. that one if i remember right affects women solely.
Yes, it does have a symptom: infertility. And it’s a good thing: those too stupid to have unprotected sex without getting their partner tested, are too dumb to raise a child.
Not that Failblog is some sort of STI fact center, but…
Many STIs can be asymptomatic. I think chlamydia is asymptomatic in 80% of women.
The wart-causing strain of HPV is evident in males, but the cervical cancer-causing strain isn’t, on account of males not having a cervix. Most strains of HPV can be asymptomatic as well, though.
It’s hard for me to acknowledge something when it’s my favorite, Ms. P.W. Girl.
No, wait, no it’s not.
Hmm. I’ll just have to get back to you on this — I’m plunging to my death just now.
brb
Well, I was really sick every morning of my pregnancy. And now, almost three years later, I’m convinced I’ve given birth to the Antichrist. I don’t know if that counts as a disease?
My little Jeff likes ripping apart exorcists. He learned that from me. We do not like God’s little helpers, and neather does God.
And I like Revelation, nice fairy tale.
Ah, Hastings Entertainment, your systems are really something else. What they haven’t shown you yet is that the Sex Addiction work books are facing the Porn.
You know who else liked avatars?
TIBETAN BUDDHISTS!
You know who else had swastikas?
TIBETAN BUDDHISTS!
So why don’t YOU consider getting yourself some enlightenment, YOU NAZI-HATING AVATAR-NAZI!
——
Message shared with you free of charge, with loving kindness, sympathetic joy, compassion and equanimity, by the failblog TMI Service. (Donations will be accepted by your local chapter of the Foundation to End Screaming at Individuals Who Were Just Trying to Ask a One Simple Fukking Question..
if i make a donation can i get a lordshipor an earldom
(for forien people who don’t get this joke, it was a Brittish politcal scam about a year ago where some rich people made donations to the government then suddenly got really high titles and positions of power)
Yeah. Like we have so much friggin’ access to healing in this country ‘cuz Bozo Bush Boy & company have done such a remarkable not job on healthcare in this part of the world.
I’ma moving to Canada … or Spain … or England … or Japan … or, or, or …
where a national priority is really taking care of one another.
But since this is comedy fail blog, let’sa make it funny:
*cough I cough Loves cough cough Me cough Some cough cough Syrup cuz cough cough I cough can’t afford no coughing frigging health care*
(demo’s do, though, share muchly in this fail)
now I am happy *coughs*
let’s have a baby
“Hi, Mr. Smithers? I can’t come to work today. I’ve caught a pretty bad case of baby. I don’t want ot infect anydoby else with baby, so I’ll just stay home and take someting for this baby. Thanks!”
The book is “Being Pregnant,” not “Getting Pregnant.” You, obviously a boy, need only stick it and be done. If a woman intends to be pregnant then there is quite a bit more involved.
The “Fail Club” is a sandwich a coworker of mine made at a restaurant I used to work at. He got the toothpicks right, got the three slices of bread right, then BOOM. Enjoy your Fail Club, all five sections of it.
Yeah, that’s how I got pregnant that one time. Then, when it was time to have the baby, that woman was nowhere to be found and I had to go through the whole thing by myself.
said like someone giving a fatal diagnosis
your bedside manner tho could use some work –
predicting a fatal std on the first date may be doing it wrong
A few years ago, a class I was in was required to do a survey. One of the questions was: “Have you ever had a STD?” I raised my hand to ask for clarification: “Does that include pregnancy?”
Reminds me of a friend who had pictures taken of the birth of her baby — but the photo-booth developers refused to print them: not only is having a baby a diseased abnormal bodily function, pictures of their birth are obscene.
What’s fail about it? I can’t think of a worse disease than having a parasite growing in my gut and then crawling its way out. If I accidentally got pregnant, I’d count it as being just about as bad as getting some other nasty disease that requires prompt surgery or massive amounts of pills.
Please. Such obvious and unsubtle attempts to start a flame war are unworthy of the attention. This is not even an uncommon attitude amongst women, so it’s unoriginal as well.
Well I already have a space-saving shelfload of doppelganger spirits and Wrigglinglies Double- AND Spear-mint Gum references to go, any time you need some Y chromosomes to play wishbone with.
( heh heh … i said “wish” )
Y chromosomes are welcomed. A little less estrogen around here might be a good thing. I introduced them to the guy I’m interested in yesterday. Luckily, he survived.
I’m sorry…my comment wasn’t pointed at you, though I can see
how you might think so (since I, um, replied to you). I was talking
to Elvira, though. SORRY SORRY SORRY!
Wow, miscomunication all around!! The estrogen I was referring to is in my apartment!
Hey Fuzz, this one’s for you *sends kissses via interwebs to Dragon*
Nope, just expressing my opinion. This is failblog… I didn’t realize I had to hold back like it’s a CuteBabyOverload board. Pregnancy squicks and disgusts me. It always has. I don’t care if it’s natural. Just the idea of something growing in me and then crawling out through my unmentionable place, causing screaming agony in the process, fills me with a kind of horror generally reserved to having a gun that’s only got one bullet in it pointed at the back of your head and the trigger repeatedly pulled. I realize some women think the whole thing is wonderful and beautiful and natural, but I… will adopt, thanks. However, I do love flame wars, so if I start one I’ll be quite gleeful about it.
Um, this may seem to be missing the point, but, why pull the trigger multiple times unless it’s a revolver? One pull should be sufficient for anything else. And you didn’t specify the type of gun. The word “gun” is kinda vague, and we have no idea if you’re talking about some little .22 pistol or a big fat 12-gauge. But yes, even though I’m a guy, I highly suspect you have never had a child. I’m told that it’s kinda rewarding, you know, passing on your genes. Of course, if you were never to reproduce, that may be one less flame-war-stoker in the future.
“a kind of horror generally reserved to having a gun that’s only got one bullet in it pointed at the back of your head and the trigger repeatedly pulled”
Your family must live in a shotgun shack down by the river with a mouse.
Someone place a bazooka next to the point of this rockhead and try not to miss it.
Otherwise, I’m sicking McAvoy on his ass.
Nothing against children (babies included). You’re right, I don’t have any, but I have nothing against them and will probably have a few in the future. Just not by getting pregnant and giving birth. Pregnancy and motherhood are two separate things. It’s proven every time some psycho b*tch kills her child, buries it in the backyard, and goes out partying as if she hasn’t got a care in the world.
Woops! Sorry I misconstrued your intent there. Most folks who say such things are looking for a fight…but I’m all in favor of the freedom to air opinions…popular ones or no.
I’m too much of a wuss to say this stuff in real life. Gotta love the Internet, where fighting is made more fun by the fact that the opposition doesn’t know where you live.
No, this makes sense, especially seeing that book on PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) on the same shelf. There are many conditions that can prevent a woman from getting pregnant.
Due to a massive back surgery for my mom and a motorcycle accident for my brother resulting in getting a plate in his leg, both are legally handicapped.
One day they were going to the drugstore. A girl, perfectly capable of walking, illegally took the handicapped spot. When my brother confronted her she stated “I might be pregnant therefore I am handicapped!”
Well, my brother called the police while she was in the store buying a pregnancy test. When she came out and saw the cops she tried to run away and deny the car was her’s.
I hope she wasn’t pregnant. In fact, I hope she’s sterile.
Yes, she’ll take the lift to her flat, so to speak.
Plus she thinks she’s in a Jane Fonda workout video from the 80’s. What’s with those leotards?
Madonna, how do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways.
I loathe thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
Anyway, that guy who’s making $10,000 off of tying a red string around peoples’ wrists isn’t a real Kabbalist. He’s just a money grubbing putz. Any Rabbi worth his salt will tell you that what he teaches isn’t anymore real Kabbalah then Scientology is a real religion.
Technically, a parasite is never expected to become independent of its host. So I was never a parasite, but I think my little brother who lives in Mom’s basement still is.
Depends how cute its ears are, I would think.
I mean, I wouldn’t want some diseased-ear looking dog-baby-child.
I don’t know. What do you think?
*ears perk up*
You could so easily, EASISLY put the book there take a picture then put the book back so this is the fail here: There stupid enough to put the book there and take a picture, then they think that we’ll believe it. But it seems that some peaple do believe it. So there is a lot of failures in communtication al right!
Pregnancy IS a disease, so are babies, and so it life in general. Before replying to this, kill yourself, do us all a favor. You were probably too damn retarded to do the world any good anyway.
Actually, in medical coding, pregnancy IS treated as a disease. If you think about it, it is a foreign substance, growing inside the body, that can cause serious problems to the woman’s body.
disease (n):
: a condition of the living animal or plant body or of one of its parts that impairs normal functioning and is typically manifested by distinguishing signs and symptoms
Pregnancy: condition of living animal? Check. Impairs normal functioning? Check. Manifested by distinguishing signs and symptoms? Check.
Well, I guess TECHNICALLY it’s a disease, seeing as it’s feeding off of her and living inside her… I guess it’s more of a parasite, then. Either way pregnancy is damn creepy. Another reason I’m happy to have a baloney pony.
That’s one hell of a disease
Congratulations, you’re first!
Congratulations, you found someone who doesn’t care!
You’re the kind of pregnancy disease that happens when you have sex with a Cheap Monkey.
Actually, human beings are members of the “Great Ape” family. This “pregancy disease” as you call it, would be the result of intercourse with “apes”, not “monkies”.
Would that mean that you got pregnant from a species of canine?
A canine is a dog, not an ape :O!
Say it with me. Dddddoooooooogggggggg.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaapppppppppe.
So what have we learned today?
Understanding the joke FAIL!
I’m sorry, your name just sounded so stupid I assumed you must be a moron.
Coming from someone with the name “Lol”?
Is that better kind sir?
ur name makes his name look like a steaming pile of RaptorJesus doo-doo
lol
I think that has burn of the week potential right there.
Tiamat Ruler shows signs of ruling.
In Communist Russia, Tiamat rules you !
But who cares about Communist Russia?
You are clearly NOT in Soviet Russia
Tiamat is from D&D…
While I don’t curse, I am also sooo frickin’ tired of the Soviet Russia jokes.
Please, just stop.
Wait guy over yonder i think that this should be one you would accept
in soviet russia YOU WOULD BE KILLED FOR BEING SUCH A STUPED MORON FOR USING THIS JOKE TO BE FUNNY!!
Did you just call him a “stuped moron?”
irony
Did you just put the question mark WITHIN the quotation marks? Stuped idjot.
In soviet Russia, jokes are tired of you.
i believe you meant ‘in pre-patriarchal babylon, tiamat rules you’.
Primates dude, primates
People still don’t understand my joke?
dont worry i understand it
Good, at least there’s someone out there who knows what I meant.
I thought it was kind of bitchin’, son.
Maybe now others will understand it thanks to you, fuzz. Thanks man! xD
I don’t think it’s an “understanding” issue so much as a “not funny” issue. I’m here to help! You’re Welcome.
Agreed
You guys just don’t appreciate the jokes that you have to think about to understand. Oh wait, I forgot. That’s because you can’t do the thinking part.
The
is a lie.
this whole god damn comment set of comments is a fail.
oh… sorry we are not ‘Worthy’ of your ‘Gayness’
That’s a good joke, except for the fact that bitches don’t do the impregnating (x
That’s why I said they got pregnant from a species of canine. I didn’t say that they impregnated a species of canine. DUH!
If he’s a weeaboo and Inuyasha fanatic, then yes.
I only see one human around here that looks like he came from an ape family.
Humans = apes.
End of story.
*contemplates Hominidae-cide*
yes, but what is the beginning of the story?
my penis is very huge
We don’t care for your e-penis, dork.
Which is funny because “dork” means “penis.” I am completely serious. All those years of being called a dork… -shudders-
now, why would you be looking up acronyms for penis???
NWWYNKWAAI?
( = now why would you not know what an acronym is? )
*shakes head sadly*
you should have looked it up
shit good catch, synonym…damn its almost midnight…somewhere in the world… which isn’t here…
I do it for a living. After all, someone has to.
Note to idiots- I’m being sarcastic here.
To be annoyingly specific. A dork is a whale penis.
Oh great, I placed a period where a comma should be. FAIL.
A colon would have been more appropriate.
cue them to 2001
*surreptitious ‘d’oh’*
erm, also clue theme to 2001
or perhaps *cue* *theme* to 2001?
or perhaps the monolith didn’t work for everyone
WIN!
yo dude, i believe that God made us all and that we ain’t evolved from apes and all that kinda madness. How on earth did the joke go from pregnancy being a disease to a discussion about apes and humans and evolution? That’s just weird and bizzare
/\
l
l. Idiot above
Google search says “Did you mean: ‘monkeys’”
You’re the result of Cheap Monkey incest in your Great Ape Family, Talonsofpeace.
Truer words have never been said
don’t you mean “monkeys?”
spelling FAIL
It’s not my fault my dad had weird fetishes.
It is your fault to make him your dad… You should have read the prospectus before accepting him
i agree with this dude^^^^^^
Well, technically it is a parasite – living off your nutrients and whatnot.
*Disclaimer* I have been pregnant, I know of what I speak.
It even releases the same chemical that parasites do to prevent the mother from from rejecting it like a transplanted organ.
So not technically, it is actually a parasite.
I have never been pregnant, I read this in New Scientist. The magazine that scares you out of becoming pregnant, old or addicted to anything.
Just because youve never been pregnant doesnt mean it wont happen man.
The government just wants to get you, and if it means “spermiciding” you while you sleep, well, they’ll do it.
Lucky for the men though, we dont have to worry about it, unless the guy enjoys the rush of feeling like an inmate. ^.^
Congratulations, your right
Hahaha, owned
yay!
No he wasnt, if you look closely at the books, there is already a book commenting it. (Inconciveable)
omg ^^
This is clearly planted. fail.
Not planted, I see three books on that shelf about infertility, which is the main subject of the book in question. I wouldn’t say infertility is a “disease”, but it is a medical condition for sure, and bookstores tend to have very broad categories.
This book and surrounding books is on infertility. It’s a horrible situation to be in and to see people making light of it is hurtful.
Ahhh, yes. The most common STD.
especially if your a man
is the prescription for that disease more cowbell, or does that only work on fever?
You fail to make me laugh….
Long epic bass solo will take care o’ that.
the prescrition is rolling down the stairs
just don’t be pushy about it, Rhett
But can he be a pulley?
i just tried, it didn’t work…any other ideas???
Wait, would that mean that you’re pregnant?
Childfree win.
Nobody to pay for your nursing home fail.
Being able to have a carreer and save for your own nursinghome WIN
Sitting on your lazy ass your entire life and then expecting your poor kids to pay for your nursing home WIN!
smart lookin’ mama lookin’ more mama smart every day
I know, right? I gots me a plan.
You guys are a bunch of idiots. The books next to it say “Infertility” so obviously its about HELPING ppl to get pregnant. The comments are more fail than the picture.
What do you mean?
Replying to a comment that had something, anything to do with your rant FAIL.
{{Duplicate comment detected; it looks as though i’ve already said that}}
What do you mean?
What do you mean?
The sum of the numbers, by dividing by the number of their number.
And since I’m an average guy, it turns out to be extra medium.
What a coincidence, that’s my favorite salsa variety.
ooooh
moded!
uhh…lets see “Childfree win?” how is that not related to infertility misrepresentation? Plz make sure you’re right before ripping on someone else. kthxbai.
Infertility is not a disease.
its a blessing
Hear hear
Yeah, I was gonna say that.
O Rly?
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/disease
You lose. You get nothing. Good day, sir.
Mindreading win.
Y’know I heard pregnancy could be fatal.
no, only fetal
Oh, I must’ve misread the book.
First you misheard it, now you’re saying you misread it. Verb agreement fail.
Hey Dragonwriter, is Talons subbing for you on Grammarian corner tonight? if he is tell him not to bring the flame thrower.
Nooooooo! My sub will know that verb agreement is not merely the substitution of one verb for another.
My sub will also know that “heard” and “misheard” are not the same.
Rogue! Where are you? We need to script another show!
Sorry, I was at the zoo, high-fiving the orangutans. What’s going on?
For some, yes it can.
garrink!!
good comment douche nozzle
Could be a warning…?
Children. The Ultimate STD.
Reminds me of health class in high school.
If you have sex, You Will Die.
(oh yeah, and drugs are bad too.)
Really? My health class teacher told us that masturbation was a healthy thing for guys to do… *masturbates*
I dunno. I’ve heard of guys breaking their noses doing that.
You sound a bit fuzzy on that.
Your palms are a bit fuzzy from that.
(I know, I know, that’s not true. Everyone knows your penis just falls off.)
All the misinformation now everything seems to feel fuzzy and I can’t see a thing
As long as you know it’s yours that you’re feeling when they turn out the light.
It’s because your thing’s not there. A moment of silence for his thing.
What would think if I sang out of tune?
(just tryin’ to get by … )
We won’t stand up and walk out on you. At least, not intentionally.
I think they were masturbating wrong…
Pee Wee Herman was busted masturbating,
“If masturbation is a crime, I should be on death row” Gilbert Godfrey
So is that what you call it?
Gilbert Gottfried.
He Gottfried when he was masturbating? That mustave hurt.
Not sure, mighta been a good burn.
Can I has Friez ?
Stop me before I kill again! hahahahahha!!!!!!
you Know i heard clamidia doesn’t have any symptoms, it just makes women infertile. The Ultimate Contraception!!!!
You know, I heard chlamydia was not spelled c-l-a-m-i-d-i-a.
I like my seafood baked, not chlamyd.
Have I ever mentioned that you are a total asshat?
Just wondering.
prone to bolts of dolt
all have some sort of symptoms. or else they wouldnt be a disease. but true, many STDs ( or STIs as they are now called, infection, not diseases ) you might be thinking of HPV tho. that one if i remember right affects women solely.
Yes, it does have a symptom: infertility. And it’s a good thing: those too stupid to have unprotected sex without getting their partner tested, are too dumb to raise a child.
*stupid enough. Spelling fail…
Wrong. Some men do get symptoms, including oozing green mucousy stuff, as well as warts. Thre’s also a link between HPV and anal or penile cancer.
The more you know…well, the less good it does really, you’re still going to tap it anyway.
Not that Failblog is some sort of STI fact center, but…
Many STIs can be asymptomatic. I think chlamydia is asymptomatic in 80% of women.
The wart-causing strain of HPV is evident in males, but the cervical cancer-causing strain isn’t, on account of males not having a cervix. Most strains of HPV can be asymptomatic as well, though.
Anyone else notice it says “What you need to know RIGHT NOW.”
Is that before it gets malignant?
I’ve heard of baby fever before, but this just takes the cake.
baby fever? More cowbell!!!!!!!11!!
Your comments are absolutely terrible.
I think you fail to see the importance of cowb….. no actually i agree with you now.
no it just takes the chocolate chip cookie
The cake is a lie.
I’m making a note here: Huge success!
Cheeky makes note of being cheeky.
Except for the one ones who are dead.
…from masturbating.
The cake is a lie my friend
Apparently prevention is not a part of treating this malady
in soviet russia, baby impregnates you!
in soviet russia you impregnate baby
oh that sounds so bad
So why did you say it?
compulsive russian disorder O.o
Tourettnikov’s.
exactly >.>
Comment WIN!
Soviet win
why NOT say it?
On second thought, bonocat, I think we’re going to have to kill you.
(cf. previous thread for your penultimate clown act)
oh i’m sorry i didn’t know you were the fail police
Looks like someone wants to be the Burnt of the Week.
He does keep asking for it, doesn’t he?
Now you do.
I’ll be your huckleberry.
?
That’s what I thought, bitch.
On second thought, I got lost in the thread and I’m a total dumbass. My apologies.
in Imperial Russia the King’s butler inpregnated the sun and it gave birth to the moon!
imperial? thats like contradicting everything anbout communisim D: dam u
history fail, before the soviet union, russia was an empire
and before that it was nom noms for the Gold Horde
meant to type “Golden Horde”
my Mongolianism makes me think of talonsofpeace and that makes everything that much more wrist-cuttingly nom noms
mogoloid he was a mongoloid
give me a razor
and Tartar sauce
coughcoughcough
I think I’ve caught a baby.
o.O …I do not want to catch pregnant.
My mom caught pregnant, look at what happened to me :[
self-deprecation-via-parents win. Nicely done, emo kid.
At least I’m not pretentious about it.
You’ve really gotta drop the angst act. It’s not becoming on anyone, least of all you.
( you have trying hard not to be weird AT ALL mail, sort of )
Hmm, where?
My family is immune to pregnancy. but we caught the mutated virus. now we bud.
Nobody acknowledging Red vs. Blue reference fail :/
Red vs what?
Green, I think. I dunno.
You could pretend.
It’s hard for me to acknowledge something when it’s my favorite, Ms. P.W. Girl.
No, wait, no it’s not.
Hmm. I’ll just have to get back to you on this — I’m plunging to my death just now.
brb
It’s not a toomah!
Epic win! I was just thinking that.
Kindergarten Cop + Junior WIN
Well, according to health insurance agencies, pregnancy is a pre-existing condition and a reasonable excuse to reject you for insurance coverage.
America is so backwards with some things.
When did she say this was in America, hmm? Did you just make that assumption? God, I hate that some people think all Americans are morons.
Well you really just made your country look a lot better, good job.
Well, at least those people are right for the majority…
i hate that some ppl think all Americans are the best thing ever
then u must hate me the must
err *most* hehe
SPELLING FAIL!!
It’s only HMO’s that consider pregnancy a pre-existing condition.
We have talked and talked about throwing homophobic comments into the mix.
Please stop.
Homophobic? WTF? HMO stands for Health Maintenance Organization…an HMO isn’t a homo, it’s a health care plan. Understanding health care fail.
Well, I was really sick every morning of my pregnancy. And now, almost three years later, I’m convinced I’ve given birth to the Antichrist. I don’t know if that counts as a disease?
Just wait until adolescence. You’ll be calling an exorcist!
My little Jeff likes ripping apart exorcists. He learned that from me. We do not like God’s little helpers, and neather does God.
And I like Revelation, nice fairy tale.
heretic!!! you’re welcome here!!!
That’s more like re-re-make of Rosemary’s baby. Thanks for sharing your Revelations.
maybe the dingo ate your baby
maybe the baby ate your dingo?
In Soviet Russia, you eats dingo. (with mushrooms, and potato salad)
In British Isles and North America, Yakov Smirnoff is ripped off by you!
In space, no one can hear you scream when Yakov tells his jokes.
A baby ate my dingo
Saves you money
It would be considered a disease fer some of us!
ya, like the males
Ah, Hastings Entertainment, your systems are really something else. What they haven’t shown you yet is that the Sex Addiction work books are facing the Porn.
I’d certainly like to do the ‘homework’ in a sex addiction work book.
I object to all this sex on the television. I mean, I keep falling off.
So, you don’t have the hair on the palms thing instead?
I only had terminal pregnancy one time.
Those airports get crazy someimes!
Sometimes (I) FAIL
As if that can be.
Nothing like a C-section at the C gate.
jesus christ, sounds like something out of airplane…
Puta mierda de FAIL
Language fail.
Is that avatar a swastika?
You know who else liked avatars?
TIBETAN BUDDHISTS!
You know who else had swastikas?
TIBETAN BUDDHISTS!
So why don’t YOU consider getting yourself some enlightenment, YOU NAZI-HATING AVATAR-NAZI!
——
Message shared with you free of charge, with loving kindness, sympathetic joy, compassion and equanimity, by the failblog TMI Service. (Donations will be accepted by your local chapter of the Foundation to End Screaming at Individuals Who Were Just Trying to Ask a One Simple Fukking Question..
if i make a donation can i get a lordshipor an earldom
(for forien people who don’t get this joke, it was a Brittish politcal scam about a year ago where some rich people made donations to the government then suddenly got really high titles and positions of power)
no amount of money is going to qualify you for a lordshipor
Getting “Nirvana’d” isn’t all that cool, just ask Kurt “Blowed up head” Cobain
I assume you mean ‘blew up’ or ‘blown up’?
Been blowed lately?
No, you offering?
what a doll
Loved this one.
(wooooooohohoho
Yes, it looks like a swastika!)
Buen FAIL!
Is your handle something you learned after opening the Ark of the Covenant?
Looks like a huge WIN to me.
ditto
Remember…babies cause cancer.
can youn get baby cookies?
I’s can.
Yes, and prostate cancer cookies too.
1. i must agree epic win.
2. Does a parasite count as a disease?
Typically yes, parasites count as “diseases”— such as the trypanoplasma “sleeping sickness”
They especially count as diseases if they are Democrats.
Yeah. Like we have so much friggin’ access to healing in this country ‘cuz Bozo Bush Boy & company have done such a remarkable not job on healthcare in this part of the world.
I’ma moving to Canada … or Spain … or England … or Japan … or, or, or …
where a national priority is really taking care of one another.
But since this is comedy fail blog, let’sa make it funny:
*cough I cough Loves cough cough Me cough Some cough cough Syrup cuz cough cough I cough can’t afford no coughing frigging health care*
(demo’s do, though, share muchly in this fail)
now I am happy *coughs*
let’s have a baby
Considering the awesome debt of my French healthcare system, please consider visiting really fast, before it all implodes.
At least you have our freedom fries.
“Hi, Mr. Smithers? I can’t come to work today. I’ve caught a pretty bad case of baby. I don’t want ot infect anydoby else with baby, so I’ll just stay home and take someting for this baby. Thanks!”
“I just found out I have baby, so you might wanna get yourself tested.”
I lolled.
isn’t it pretty compulsory with your name…
No, he said he lolled. He didn’t say that he lol’d or loled.
ruler on a loller roller
Seen on hospital form:
Q: Where did this accident occur?
A: In bed, and it was on purpose.
How much instruction do you need to get pregnant? Stick your dick in some woman’s hole and your done!
Well for some people there is A LOT more to it. (Compatibility, ovulation times, etc…)
Damn smiley!
anyone else notice the irony of someone called ‘poof’ complaining how difficult it is to get pregnant?
hahahahaha
The book is “Being Pregnant,” not “Getting Pregnant.” You, obviously a boy, need only stick it and be done. If a woman intends to be pregnant then there is quite a bit more involved.
Damn it! I fail too. :’(
Damn it! Now you made me fail.
We should make a club
The Fail Club…sounds like something you would get from Quiznos.
The “Fail Club” is a sandwich a coworker of mine made at a restaurant I used to work at. He got the toothpicks right, got the three slices of bread right, then BOOM. Enjoy your Fail Club, all five sections of it.
I fail. And I lose the game.
Failure is contagious, ON NOES!!!!!!!
Failure to remember that the title of the book on the picture really is “Getting Pregnant.
Yeah, that’s how I got pregnant that one time. Then, when it was time to have the baby, that woman was nowhere to be found and I had to go through the whole thing by myself.
So aptly named. I always love your comments, Fuzz.
Thanks. Will you have my baby?
You have to make sure it’s the right hole tho.
What do you mean ?
Life is a sexually transmitted disease, and it’s always fatal.
That is a WIN, sir.
That is a quote from R. D. Laing. Hate to break it to you, but your not that creative. Give the credit where cedit is due.
bad cedit is always doo
Yes, but what is bad credit?
i thought the question was where credit is given,
and apparently it’s where cedit is expected to be any minute now
cedit is being bad lately
What did they do this time?
I didn’t know K. D. Lang was a doctor AND a lesbian!
R-D-harr-harr
I didn’t claim that it was mine, just that it was appropriate. I actually willingly admit that I had no idea where it came from.
Hate to break it to you, but you missed the point.
said like someone giving a fatal diagnosis
your bedside manner tho could use some work –
predicting a fatal std on the first date may be doing it wrong
I accepted your point and raised you another. A little more effort on the legitimacy front please.
Take one hanger and call me in the morning.
But doctor, I’m qq;a.,e {unrecoverable translation error: this word was lost} in the Terminal.
I know I’ve seen the phrase “sick with baby” somewhere, just haven’t a clue where. Alas.
Pan’s Labyrinth. Awkward translation for the English subtitles. Or at least that’s where I’ve seen it before.
Nope, they had it right. That sorting is epic win
Pregnancy is a disease god gives you to make you pay for your poking.
Reference to previous fail WIN
I will use a condom next time I poke-a-pie.
(you can poke a pie out with those things, you know)
A few years ago, a class I was in was required to do a survey. One of the questions was: “Have you ever had a STD?” I raised my hand to ask for clarification: “Does that include pregnancy?”
Pic isn’t necessarily a fail….
The class was required to do a survey?
nothing like admitting to a room full of people “Yes, I’ve had an STD.”
Have you experienced this before?
No, I think that book IS in the right spot.
Agent Smith would agree.
Finally got it positioned just right, hm?
Not a fail… a disease is defined as anything that changes the normal function of a body, and pregnancy indeed does that.
Reminds me of a friend who had pictures taken of the birth of her baby — but the photo-booth developers refused to print them: not only is having a baby a diseased abnormal bodily function, pictures of their birth are obscene.
That’s why you gotta use the digital! *charges batteries*
Well pregnancy IS a disease – the title is exactly to the point.
But you should check on how Mae’s doing, to be sure.
What’s fail about it? I can’t think of a worse disease than having a parasite growing in my gut and then crawling its way out. If I accidentally got pregnant, I’d count it as being just about as bad as getting some other nasty disease that requires prompt surgery or massive amounts of pills.
Are you troll hunting? Because this will surely cause a frenzy.
We’ve got bait over here!!
Please. Such obvious and unsubtle attempts to start a flame war are unworthy of the attention. This is not even an uncommon attitude amongst women, so it’s unoriginal as well.
I call fail.
‘Twas merely pointing out the obvious. I was not trying to offend.
Would y’all just go on and get to the making out part?
I already have two lesbians in my apartment right now. Joining them, in spirit, might be construed as overkill.
Well I already have a space-saving shelfload of doppelganger spirits and Wrigglinglies Double- AND Spear-mint Gum references to go, any time you need some Y chromosomes to play wishbone with.
( heh heh … i said “wish” )
Y chromosomes are welcomed. A little less estrogen around here might be a good thing. I introduced them to the guy I’m interested in yesterday. Luckily, he survived.
Noooooooooooo! Avis!
I’m sorry…my comment wasn’t pointed at you, though I can see
how you might think so (since I, um, replied to you). I was talking
to Elvira, though. SORRY SORRY SORRY!
Shall we make fuzz happy and kiss and make up?
Wow, miscomunication all around!! The estrogen I was referring to is in my apartment!
Hey Fuzz, this one’s for you *sends kissses via interwebs to Dragon*
Nope, just expressing my opinion. This is failblog… I didn’t realize I had to hold back like it’s a CuteBabyOverload board. Pregnancy squicks and disgusts me. It always has. I don’t care if it’s natural. Just the idea of something growing in me and then crawling out through my unmentionable place, causing screaming agony in the process, fills me with a kind of horror generally reserved to having a gun that’s only got one bullet in it pointed at the back of your head and the trigger repeatedly pulled. I realize some women think the whole thing is wonderful and beautiful and natural, but I… will adopt, thanks. However, I do love flame wars, so if I start one I’ll be quite gleeful about it.
I think I love you.
shes MINE damnit
I think I’m paranoid.
You’re not paranoid. Everyone really is plotting against you.
No, that’s a song by Garbage. “I Think I’m Paranoid.”
No, that’s a song by Black Sabbath, just simple, plain bat-eating “Paranoid.”
They’re both good songs…
grasping to controoool
so i better hold on
…am i just paranoid, or im just stoned!
Um, this may seem to be missing the point, but, why pull the trigger multiple times unless it’s a revolver? One pull should be sufficient for anything else. And you didn’t specify the type of gun. The word “gun” is kinda vague, and we have no idea if you’re talking about some little .22 pistol or a big fat 12-gauge. But yes, even though I’m a guy, I highly suspect you have never had a child. I’m told that it’s kinda rewarding, you know, passing on your genes. Of course, if you were never to reproduce, that may be one less flame-war-stoker in the future.
Um, you may seem to be right.
How many bullets do you expect to need? (I trust you won’t miss this time.)
umm…she said one bullet….jez, reading fail!!!
“a kind of horror generally reserved to having a gun that’s only got one bullet in it pointed at the back of your head and the trigger repeatedly pulled”
i even quoted it for you…
Your family must live in a shotgun shack down by the river with a mouse.
Someone place a bazooka next to the point of this rockhead and try not to miss it.
Otherwise, I’m sicking McAvoy on his ass.
hey man, georgia (the state) is the land of illiterate children, i have to pedal a bike to run my computer…damn are my legs getting tired
oh that’s liable to lead to epidemics –
how are those children gonna read books about they’re [sic] diseased nature?
a sick [sic] situation
why the [sic]’s, i don’t see an error that you copied…
*sigh*
Shirley, cancel the rest of my appointments for the next several days …
Okay, but don’t call me Surely!
It was a reference to Russian Roulette. The dread people must experience, bracing themselves for the noise and the pain and death.
Nothing against children (babies included). You’re right, I don’t have any, but I have nothing against them and will probably have a few in the future. Just not by getting pregnant and giving birth. Pregnancy and motherhood are two separate things. It’s proven every time some psycho b*tch kills her child, buries it in the backyard, and goes out partying as if she hasn’t got a care in the world.
At least she’s trying to find some happiness.
Woops! Sorry I misconstrued your intent there. Most folks who say such things are looking for a fight…but I’m all in favor of the freedom to air opinions…popular ones or no.
I’m too much of a wuss to say this stuff in real life. Gotta love the Internet, where fighting is made more fun by the fact that the opposition doesn’t know where you live.
I would die to have that “disease.”
And I do, in fact, need to give myself injections and have surgery in order to “catch” it.
That’s not a fail, that’s a WIN!!!
No, this makes sense, especially seeing that book on PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) on the same shelf. There are many conditions that can prevent a woman from getting pregnant.
*Sigh* I wish i could read *sigh*
This reminds me of a story.
Due to a massive back surgery for my mom and a motorcycle accident for my brother resulting in getting a plate in his leg, both are legally handicapped.
One day they were going to the drugstore. A girl, perfectly capable of walking, illegally took the handicapped spot. When my brother confronted her she stated “I might be pregnant therefore I am handicapped!”
Well, my brother called the police while she was in the store buying a pregnancy test. When she came out and saw the cops she tried to run away and deny the car was her’s.
I hope she wasn’t pregnant. In fact, I hope she’s sterile.
Yeah, bet the skank didn’t know which dick was the dad, either.
Probably not. Anyway, pregnancy is not a handicap or a disease. She was just a lazy, disrespectful old cow.
Well, let’s be kind, she can park.
hmmm…you’re avatar is a swastika…must make you a nazi…
You know who else liked avatars?
HITLER. You Nazi.
My avatar is randomly assigned. I didn’t pick it.
And anyway, I’m Jewish.
You … you … Ashkenazi!
(no disrespect here; i’m perpetually grateful to the 42 hidden Kabbalists who keep the world from totally flying asunder)
Yes, those who are compelled to shudder at the thought of Madonna calling herself a Kabbalist.
Oh wait, that’s all of us.
oh yeah
*prays more fervently*
oh yeah
*doesn’t pretend to be a kabbalist when she’s not jewish… or a man…*
hey, you’re stepping on my prayer shawl
that was me hanging to the world by a thread
Don’t forget Madonna also likes to pretend she’s English.
Yes, she’ll take the lift to her flat, so to speak.
Plus she thinks she’s in a Jane Fonda workout video from the 80’s. What’s with those leotards?
Madonna, how do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways.
I loathe thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
*hands Sara J a Browning rifle*
Loch’d and loaded!
Or should that have been a Barrett-a?
Either will Werk.
Heh. None taken.
Anyway, that guy who’s making $10,000 off of tying a red string around peoples’ wrists isn’t a real Kabbalist. He’s just a money grubbing putz. Any Rabbi worth his salt will tell you that what he teaches isn’t anymore real Kabbalah then Scientology is a real religion.
I’ll take “Featured Titties” for $400 Alex.
Spitzer pays a lot better than that
Probably. I’m just a girl who failed at making a slightly obscure reference.
Well, if it makes you feel better — I don’t mind slightly obscure “features” on a gal one bit.
… they often make the Penis Mightier than the Sword, in fact.
Provided one has enough potent potables in them to help overlook said obscure features.
tell Alex I’m drinking to that
I pick Jap Anus Relations
Yay for random pointless SNL references
A lot of women treat pregnancy like it is a disease. This particular Barnes & Noble may have just been pandering to the market.
Children: a plague on humanity.
It’s a damn shame that the perpetuation of our species is dependent upon them.
Every human being was a child once. Does that mean all of humanity is a plague on humanity?
-BANG!-
Oops, I just made your head explode. My bad.
damn it you got some on me…
Finally! Someone agrees with me! Now I need a fresh shirt; I have exploded head all over this one….
Your aim is apparently improving yourself.
(my typing isn’t: didn’t intend final “yourself” there — but feel free to supply a fitting masturbation innuendo if you please … yourself)
So when I aim, I instantly become a better person?
Sweeeeet.
Damn. There’s an idea. Gotta look into that.
:::looks into it really hard:::
Only if you remember to put the seat down too
I’ll think about it.
Worse than any other STD, this one you have to live with.
For the REST OF YOUR LIFE.
Provided you care.
If not, you go to hell.
Everybody Loses!
No way! This is a WIN! Pregnancy is the most common STD in the world!
Never said it wasn’t the most common STD in the world. I didn’t even say it was a fail? Yet I somehow think you’re trying to argue >_>
BUT I REALLY CAN’T CARE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I’M BUSY MAKING MY NEXT SENTENCE GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT!
Was del hellz youz tlksin aboot slig?
Life – a sexually transmitted terminal disease
That pic is hilarious.
fetus = parasite = disease?
Technically, a parasite is never expected to become independent of its host. So I was never a parasite, but I think my little brother who lives in Mom’s basement still is.
Give him time. His worm is still growing.
I think he’s more concerned with the worm at the bottom of the bottle…
Well then, at least it may be a sterile parasite.
A sterisite?
For peristalsis enhancement.
The disease is PCOS. The book is about Getting Pregnant with PCOS… still funny though
I don’t think this is a fail… pregnancy IS a disease
I don’t get it. Pregnancy’s not a disease?
It’s whatever you want it to be.
I want it to be a boy AND a girl, but not at the same time. And a puppy.
And a puppy, but not at the same time also?
Depends how cute its ears are, I would think.
I mean, I wouldn’t want some diseased-ear looking dog-baby-child.
I don’t know. What do you think?
*ears perk up*
Would it be its own best friend, a la Spaceballs?
Beagle ears are cute, but I imagine the taunts from the neighborhood kids would be too much for your Snoopy-child.
You could always do that silly ear docking business that they do to Dobermans.
and if the kid was a doberman, it could beat up the neighborhood kids anyway
im pretty sure that is why it is here
Observation win!
not a fail… it’s a population control via scare tactic win.
Question: Would this still be a fail if it was on the next aisle over in self improvement?
Nah, but it might be fail if they shelved it under “Cooking”.
Yes, it should obviously be in the “baking” section.
Only if there was Dr. Phil books.
Finally, somone put it in the right section. Well, no, PARASITES would be more accurate.
well… eggs and sperm are germ cells…
that’s a damn witty comment for a zomygote!
Planted, obviously, especially since eagle-eyes went out of their way to use ascii arrows.
Pregnancy is a Sexual transmitted infection, so surely this is Win?
It’s an insensitive placement of books on infertility, and all of your are asses.
You could so easily, EASISLY put the book there take a picture then put the book back so this is the fail here: There stupid enough to put the book there and take a picture, then they think that we’ll believe it. But it seems that some peaple do believe it. So there is a lot of failures in communtication al right!
Failures in communication….
*counts errors in Hunter’s post*
*bites tongue*
Four at least.
how do i love thee in so many words
let me bite thy tongue
or maybe it is real and you are too cynical to believe it. dont get me wrong, i am quite cynical myself, but not too much to have a good LOL
Not really a fail; it’s in the right section since it’s just another book on infertility like all of the rest in that section.
It’s next to a book on PCOS, which is the largest cause of infertility. Funny though.
notice there’s ANOTHER getting pregnant book on there…. double fail
behind the “i”
Pregnancy IS a disease, so are babies, and so it life in general. Before replying to this, kill yourself, do us all a favor. You were probably too damn retarded to do the world any good anyway.
Actually, in medical coding, pregnancy IS treated as a disease. If you think about it, it is a foreign substance, growing inside the body, that can cause serious problems to the woman’s body.
Like YOU was for your mother, for sure.
YOU CUP OF FOREIGN SUBSTANCE ò_ó
WIIIN!
well…I liked the comic.
I don’t understand why this is a “fail.”
disease (n):
: a condition of the living animal or plant body or of one of its parts that impairs normal functioning and is typically manifested by distinguishing signs and symptoms
Pregnancy: condition of living animal? Check. Impairs normal functioning? Check. Manifested by distinguishing signs and symptoms? Check.
I win. Failblog fails.
Someone give me a link to the photo before the “Fail” was added to it. This is priceless.
The top wasn’t first. The book to the left in the picture clearly says “inconciveable” …
Pregnancy: a Sexually Transmitted Disease with a mortality rate of 100%
Be aware of this horrible disease.
Epic WIN.
WIN!!!!!!
fyi, unwanted pregnancy is the single most expensive STD to treat.
“i do not want to catch pregnancy!” lol caboose
Well, I guess TECHNICALLY it’s a disease, seeing as it’s feeding off of her and living inside her… I guess it’s more of a parasite, then. Either way pregnancy is damn creepy. Another reason I’m happy to have a baloney pony.
Well, it is sexually transmitted
it has been said that life is a sexually transmitted disease…
Hahaha, that’s what I kept saying before I got my abortion!! Just a parasite to be dealt with.
thats why you should drink pestacide
thats not a fail
I was made by a disease! Too bad…
wow goodjob picking up a book and putting it somwhere else
Congratulations! Its A DISEASE!
Liberalism win
I don’t want to catch pregnancy!!!!