Click to see G-Rated Pics and Movies Only
« Previous Gender Fail | Exit Fail Next »
» 523 Failures in Communication
Daily Shipments of Fail via Email
Our RSS Fail
-
Recent Comments
Phil Collins on Passenger Seat Fail Borat on Passenger Seat Fail Arthur Eld on Passenger Seat Fail mouse remains a noun… on Passenger Seat Fail Phil Collins on Passenger Seat Fail Nerdilicious on Passenger Seat Fail General BondFan4518 … on Passenger Seat Fail Phil Collins on Passenger Seat Fail Arthur Eld on Passenger Seat Fail Hasabrain on Passenger Seat Fail
Jump Fail. Groin Pain Win.
Jump win, landing fail.
also self castration win
able to rejoin the boys choir win
Getting to tour the world with Rome’s Castrati win
Sancto Dominus!
I was there watching this dude FAIL. He actually ends up with the bike falling on top of him in the end.
K?? Is that you??
Nooooooooooo!
(I was there, though.)
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
Yeah, but it’s actually “K-Y” now, not just “K”.
My dad gave me KY, once. It was awkward.
I remember that.
first nested comment fail!
notice they do not so much fly, as plummet
Badpheasant joke.
Wow, i missed that completely obvious thing. Thanks.
O, rly?
Lmao you are EVERYWHERE… all the pics and videos have a comment below from you saying you’ve been there though when someone asks where that place is exactly you just don’t answer… hmmm… PHAIL x2 with spelling
Jump fail. Male soprano win.
darwin WIN!
would that make it a “Dar-Win”?
You need to check for kids before you give him a Darwin Award.
old news, seen this before. Probably on here. ah well
Next week, we get to see the Hindenburg explode. Oh the humanity!
Older than the internet win
This has been around so long, even the Amish have seen it.
HA. Amish.
They don’t believe in Bikes.
Or vibrators.
….
Only dildos.
dude, they dont even believe in black people
Dude! Those stone-agers don’t even believe in modern buttons?! It’s the truth. They think it’s a creation from the devil.
It’s not the truth. Read more.
Are black dildos okay?
SO badass. thats awesome, except for the part where it didnt work.lol
AND I FLYYYYYYYYYY….or not… that should hurt…
hurts real bad when you do that
No shit Sherlock, that’s why it’s here at failblog. Ever use your brain before you post?
Use your brain? But it hurts real bad when you do that.
WIN
God did your mother let you out of your cage again? God you’re a damn idiot I cannot believe someone actually let you on the internet. That right there is a fail.
You have a strange grasp of religion.
I think whether he has a grasp on anything is debatable.
but he’s still no Buddhist
Don’t worry. I got how you were poking fun at his sentence structure there.
Who let the gods out? Who? Who?
some holy mother, ‘parently
Actually, a Failblog user would have to use their brain throughout the posting process. Neurons fire constantly, and in order for his brain to make the necessary commands to move his fingers to type, he would have to “use” his brain whilst posting, not just before.
It’s elementary, Watson.
you know, none of the sherlock holmes novels say its elementary may dear watson…just thought it was interesting
No, you’re right. NONE of them say “its elementary may dear watson”.
The commonly accepted Pop Culture reference is
“It’s elementary, MY dear Watson”
Being a dick WIN
Grammatical FAIL
Win!
Well, if you’re going insist on being the grammar police, I feel I would be remiss not to slap your hand for “NONE of them say …” since the correct sentence would begin with, “NONE of them says.” Make sure you know what’s up before you talk shit.
*loud buzzer sounds in the background*
Sorry! You fail! “None” is a plural, and
so it takes “say” rather than “says”.
THEY say
WE say
WHO (singular) says
HE says
ONE says
NONE say
NO ONE says.
Thank you for playing and have a nice day.
That’s a neat little nursery rhyme you’ve developed to assist you in remembering how to fail miserably at using the English language. Also, your last sentence should have a comma before the conjunction “and” since the conjunction connects two otherwise independent sentences. You people are all retards. It’s almost as though I’m sitting here grading my dumbass students’ essays.
gee, wheelman, are you published?
Yes, I am published. Financial research and forecasting.
and c0ck blocking as i can see.
Wow. You’re published for, “Financial research and forecasting”. Congratulations. Unfortunately, those of us who have actually bothered to learn the nuances of the English language, which apparently you haven’t, instead foregoing your common English studies for finance, the correct wording of the phrase would be, “none say,” as opposed to your, “none says”. For, “none says,” to be correct, the proper punctuation would have to be, “none, says”. For example, “How much does one FAIL Blog poster ‘wheelman’ use his brain?” Wherein the correct answer from the second or third person would be “None, says I.”
Also, please shut the hell up.
Thank you.
–
R. Vikedal
United States Marine Corps
O-3, Scout/Sniper Platoon Leader
Scout/Sniper School, MCB Quantico, VA.
Being published doesnt prove much. ive been published and my grammar is wretched. but then again i did notice in Wheelman’s earlier comment of: if you’re “going insist on being the grammar…” there should be a “to” after going, or at least be lame like me and just say gonna. that’s at least correct in hick….
*Slaps Wheelman’s hand*
PS, if you are calling your own students dumbasses, what
does that say about the one teaching them?
Positive role model Fail
A most excellent reply WIN!
i give the don an A
*sigh* though I agree with you, there still exists the chance the teacher is a Failure role model Win.
Failure role model win indeed.
maybe Board of education Fail?
Actually, no comma shall come before an “and” AND talonsofpeace, you forgot to capitalize your T. In reference to the “and” problem, think of it
as this; I went to the store today and bought milk, apples, bread
and a black dildo. Notice there is NO comma before and.
Fin
While we’re at it, just FYI:
Everybody
Everyone
Somebody
Someone
…are all singular.
Therefore, they need to be coupled with singular pronouns like:
He
She
Her
Him
…or their possessive counterparts:
His
Her
So we end up with sentences like this:
- The person gave his dog to a neighbor.
…rather than:
- The person gave their dog to a neighbor.
There is no unisex singular pronoun (standard or possessive) used to refer to people… perhaps something we should change.
…or we could continue winning at offending the PCers who are offended by the grammatically correct, but PC-taboo, practice of referring to people as “him” or “her”.
hehe (and no, I’m not editing this. If there are typos, so be it.)
*sigh*
Okay, okay, I’ll explain, sans silly smartassiness.
In 1983, the Head Honcho grammarians changed the rule about this pronoun. They decided to change to rule to reflect how people actually use it. So…”none” can be either a singular OR a plural indefinite pronoun depending on the word to which it is referring.
Kev used it to refer to “they”…therefore, “they SAY”, not “they
SAYS”.
To be fair, I was a tad reductive before.
You are wrong, however, about the comma. A comma CAN be used before a conjunction between two independent clauses, but it is not required.
*ahem*
*sneaks into last post and changes “they” to “them”*
*facepalm*
*snork*
*changes superfluous “to” to “the”*
I really shouldn’t post about grammar when I’m tipsy…!
Maybe I should retrieve the bottle you’ve been keeping for me.
It’s fun to learn a “definite” thing or two and share drinks at the same time
… and perhaps a post or two?
Oooooooooh…cheeky!
I’ll be in my bunk.
Curious about these ‘Head Honcho Grammarians”. Are they armed? Do they kill upon seeing an improper placement verb? What are these beings?
They are armed with big f-ing dictionaries!
Dragonwriter – I don’t think it’s based on the word, is it? Wouldn’t it be based on the meaning? If you are saying “no one of the books says it” then you would need singular. This is more formal and traditional, and it is how I remember the rule: none=”no one” or “not one.” I think the use of the plural comes from the idea that you’re really saying “all the books fail to say it.” Or maybe from contexts where the number, if NOT none, is likely to be plural: “How many of the cats have fur?” “None of them do.”
It couldn’t be based on the number of the word “them,” could it, because when would you use a singular there? In referring to ACD’s books collectively, even if you’re being formal and using singular, would you say “none of it says…”?? I think you are right: grammar + alcohol = less grammar.
(If it sounds like I think about these things far too much, all I can say is that I have been editing legal scholarship for two years, so I’ve had to think about them, so yes, far too much.)
Erm…I do believe you just made my point for me. My point was that “none” was being used as a plural rather than a singular pronoun.
At least I think that was my point. Last night is a little fuzzy.
(HAH! I said…oh, never mind.)
Erm … you didn’t say it was little last night.
But I guess fantasy can entail a lot of subjunctivity.
(HAH! I said entail)
(HAH! You also said “junc”!)
I think what I was trying to say was: you said the verb should be plural because the sentence was “none of them say” and “them” is plural. My point, the main part of it anyway, was that that can’t be how you decide, because what singular word could you possibly use there? By this rule, it would ALWAYS be plural, but the traditional rule is that it’s singular and you’re saying it could be either, depending… um, anyway, I think I had a point but… well, I wrote that when I hadn’t had my caffeine yet, and caffeine deficiency for me has pretty much the same effect as alcohol… so never mind.
I dunno what you just said…I lost the thread of this thread some time back, and I think I dropped a stitch and missed a row and got all twisted around. But this is what the dictionary has to say on the subject:
“Consider none as singular when you want to emphasize a single entity in a group, but consider none to be plural when you want to emphasize more than one. Examples are: None of the books is/are worth reading. / None of us is/are going to the banquet. However, when none means ‘no amount’ or ‘no part’, it must be singular: None of the debris has been cleared away. / None of the forest is deciduous. So, if your meaning is ‘none of them’, treat the word as plural; if it is ‘none of it’, treat it as singular.”
You talk purdy, Dragonlady.
I’ll make just this singular observation — that if none of it are true, of it none will I have.
(And don’t get me started on dangling prepositions — that’s another thing up with which I will not put. But if you want to dangle a proposition, you know where I’ll be practicing my linguistics.)
Not…gonna…make…obvious…linguistics…joke….!!!
NOT NOT NOT!!
*dunks head in bucket of water*
be, is, am, are, was, were, been, being, have, has, had, do, does, did, may, might, must, can, could, shall, should, will, would..Seii, I remember elementary school too….WIN!!
Conjunction Junction, what’s that function…?
The answer to your question would be: hooking up words and phrases and clauses.
Conjunction junction, how’s that function?
I’ve got and, but, and or; they’ll get you pretty far.
Like: out of the frying pan AND into the fire,
You cut loose the sandbags BUT the balloon wouldn’t go any higher,
Let’s go up to the mountains OR down to the seas,
You should always say thank you OR at least say please!
“None [of the books] say…” Correct.
“None [of the books] says…” Incorrect.
And stuff…
“None of them says” (not …say) because negatives are conjugated as singular, not plural.
Ponder it.
*pondering … pondering …*
I guess what you aren’t not saying to us, is that people like Fundamentalist Mormons are positives.
Yes, yes, I’d like to think about that some more.
And I don’t suppose none of them may says negatives no more.
nope
my word that’s a petty and patronising comeback..
does your mom know you’ve been using grammar to make people feel bad?
Just liek pooping!
Hit a building? Yeah I’d say so. . . reasoning win.
Gravity win.
more like roof win
stoopid biker who thought he calculated right distance-air-speed necessary to perform huge stunt without breaking a few ribs FAIL
“distance-air-speed”
Space-time Fail.
nerds
YAY! FIRST!
Anyway, definite photoshop.
Bend over in Soviet Union and bike photoshops you!
In Soviet Russia, bike fails you!
In Soviet Russia, all bikes are red.
In Soviet Russia, fuck off.
gayest username on faiblog WIN
unless you’re a girl
that just makes you.. GERMAN
gayest user on failblog WIN
i think that makes you French
I do believe that to be A BUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRNNNN!!!!
in reference to lower posts:
Jerk store called….
Yes. Epic indeed. Just look at that witty remark. Makes you laugh instantly.
Bend over and I’ll show you a burn.
Win and French in the same sentence? Fail.
Sweet! i want to jump on the bandwagon too and hate the French based off of what someone else said. I love taking other people’s opinions and making them my own to fit in!
I agree completely.
I dunno, Bunny in full metal jacket was pretty mean..
Congrats on your “gay who just thinks of rabbits” WIN
You still have bunny from Sailor Moon which is…. Hum…. More than gay…
you watched Sailor Moon?!?!..
*rolls eyes… moves to the next post*
kiddin’
ICH BIN DEUTSCHE!!!!!!!1!!!!1!!!!ein!!!1!!!!ein!!!1ein!!!1!!ein
Gender fail – “ich bin Deutsche” would make you a being without a penis. At least
conceivably (judging from the picture) you have one. Maybe mistaking.
The right phrase you’d want to use from now on is “ich bin DeutschER”
I am without a penis.
I am a jelly donut.
Et tu?
I am a meat popsicle
5th Element ref. FTW
hi-5 to you on the ST fail.
Woo =)
LULZ
I can see my house from hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
*coffee-out-the-nose-snort*
*hands-you-a-hand-towel-hand*
lmao
i feel for the guy driving the van. He didn’t see it happen
The world’s worst roofing contractor reporting for duty as ordered!
FIRST!
Bend over and I’ll show you the lolz.
5th!!
He hit the building!
Elvis has hit the building!
… sort of …
You must be Captain Obvious in disguise!
Its his son
Chief Palpable???
Then he got up and said “I meant to do that.”
i wouldn’t be surprised if he wasn’t able to get up after that.
He suffered a spinal. And his dog raped him.
“Ughn. Ughn. Ughn…. Good boy.”
Loosing was not a option.
Ability to spell ‘losing’ FAIL
FailBlog pundit FAIL
not catching a reference fail.
Recalling the reference win.
take a look
http://failblog.org/2008/07/30/spelling-fail-2/
I know, maybe spending too much in this Blog
More like
“Missed it by THAT much…”
Next time just bring a ladder… Srsly.
Next time try jumping over open space rather than a building. . might make the landing less fail.
Yeah right, the landing would hurt.
Not if the landing hurt.
i don’t know how much of a fail this actually was, i’ve seen this on multiple reality shows, so in a way, its a win?
only if he got paid. I’m guessing he didn’t. Makes it a Fail (capital F).
Yeah, being at the right place at the right time with a video camera win. Sell that shit.
Its a fail for him, but hopefully its a lack of reproducing Win for future generations.
reasoning fail
Pointing out his reasoning fail win.
Maybe this is the same guy from the ladder fail below?
E-FAIL Knie-FAIL?
After sounding that out about 7 times, I determine that you sir, have a clever comment on your hands. Also, love the username.
I couldn’t sound it out. I’m still waiting for my copy of Hooked on Phonics.
My phonics are off the hook.
Awesome response WIN
Well, you’d better put them back on the hook, or no one will be able to call you.
I’ll go ahead and give myself a lame joke fail.
sounds about right
My version of the lame joke fail: Better get back on the hook, or you’ll wind up talking like a laugh-out-loud-cat the rest of your life.
sounds pretty bad
I lol’d a little.
I almost went there.
But I’m kind of into the whole brevity thing.
No “El Duderino” for you then?
kuddos to your username too..
oh, that Kramer and his weird friends
You know my friend Bob Sacamano? He owns a condom factory in Edison…
“Come on, Elaine. Here, take half a bag.”
You’re just like George. He had a funny joke, but he just couldn’t stop there. He HAD to spoil it by trying a 2nd time.
And you’re just like Elaine’s boyfriend, Tony, in that I hope you fall of a cliff.
Damnit, I had to have a typo in there… crap, I’ll fail myself before anyone else has to…
FAIL
You fail at failing him because he failed himself first.
Yeah. Everyone hates you now.
We don’t HAVE to. We enjoy pointing out the shortcomings of others in order to raise our own pitiful sense of self-worth.
Likewise…I had it coming though by misspelling amidst an insult.
So Art, what do you import?
potato chips..and something else…
I FARTED!!! SNIFF, SNIFF!!!
Agreed…I would label that a great post…but…you know…
Seconded, that was brilliant.
I don’t get it.
Vagina? Well, obviously, but the daredevil reference, did you get that?
His made me laugh obnoxiously loud at work and almost snarf popcorn through my nose.
BOTW!
Wow, Epic win…
say ink and ice repetedly getting faster each time
ha ha you said “i stink”
“dolt” – accurate name win.
I sink? What, like a Failboat?
Maybe you should say these words really fast over and over until you realize that no matter how fast you say ink and ice, T’s shouldn’t be coming out of your mouth at any point:
i
am
sofa
king
re
tar
dead
spell icup.
Look down and spell attic.
ICUP: I-C-U-P, ICUP
He said “attic”, dude. Spelling FAIL. ::)
I was replying to david. Accusing me of fail FAIL.
Realizing I knew you were replying to david (as emphasized by the emoticon, ::)) FAIL
Repeat this chant to achieve nirvana:
ohwa
tahna
siam
faster and faster, of course.
oh what a nas i am?
i don’t feel any closer to nirvana.
Nirvana isn’t around anymore, lead singer killed himself. Life fail.
*tips hat*
So “achieving Nirvana” means blowing you’re own head off with a shotgun? I’ll stick with Samsara.
You should try out seppuku.
What’s “gime” in pig latin?
YOU. Fag.
ive done wosrs, i landeded on a cat by mistake
Landing on a cat is worse than hitting going from 30kph to 0 instantly then falling two stories? At least he was wearing a helmet. : P
well, if the cat was on the roof, then it would’ve been hell worse!
And, if it was a hot tin roof the cat was on, it would’ve been a strange way for a wife to express her dissatisfaction.
Hell, you got to live with it, there’s nothing else to live with except mendacity, is there?
Life is important. There’s nothing else to hold on onto.
Dad’s on the roof and we can’t get him down….
fiddlesticks
The cat was wearing a helmet?
The other half of the house was a cat. Aim FAIL.
Took me a minute. Much applauding
I still don’t get it. That makes it a WIN for sure.
Previous fail reference win!
Mega WIN!
Jon’s aim is true.
I believe this qualifies as the clever prior fail reference of the week.
Spelling fail. “I’ve done WORSE, I LANDED on a cast by mistake.”
By the way, you fail for failing on a cat.
spelling fail. Cat not cast. Unless it was the cast of “Cats”. Hmmm.
Change the bicycle to a big-ass Harley and I would pay good money to see that.
With a side-car. Don’t forget the side-car.
I can’t believe I had a spelling fail whilst correcting a spelling fail. Double fail. I lose.
It’s a law of the universe. This will always happen.
isn’t supposed to be lound not landed?
Isn’t that supposed to be “Isn’t THAT supposed to be…”
isn’t lound not a word?
It once was “fost,” but now …
Was siiiind….but nooooooooooooow I bleeeeeeeeeeeee!!
Did DragonMiLady get posted? I can’t blee.
Umm….nope. Just singing in the shower.
*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh*
Dragon in the shower?
::Masturbates::
Two pence for j00. RL LOL kudos!
that was amazing…
you’re gracious
Wow… your sentence reads like this “is not lound not a word?”… It should be “Lound is not a word, correct?”
I would write it, “I’m pretty sure lound is not a word.” Making it a statement in which you make your uncertainty known.
(I sure hope I’m not making a grammer fail whilst correcting someone elses grammer fail.)
i don’t know, maybe it’s bad form, but “is not lound not a word?” makes logical sense.
except lound isn’t a word, which nobody seemed to notice.
or rather, take note of.
With all of this bitching about grammar it sure would be nice to
stop using ‘FAIL’ or ‘WIN’ as nouns. As you are
no doubt aware of, these are actually verbs. For example:
instead of saying “I sure hope I’m not making a grammer* fail
whilst correcting someone elses grammer* fail,” as First! did,
say “I sure hope I’m not FAILing at grammar* whilst correcting
someone else’s FAILure at grammar*.” This way you can still
highlight the title and main point of the page in your sentence,
while using good grammar.
*Grammar is spelled with two a’s.
You fail. Linguistics experts the world ’round expect to see neologisms enter common parlance, particularly on the interwebz. As such, FAIL and WIN are not only verbs but also nouns in the context of Failblog. You have made an over-reaching observation fail.
Indeed and O’LAY!
They’re even in the dictionary of urbanity.
couldnt it be comparable to: ” im going to make a grocery run.”
and “You made a pretentious Fail.” ?
putting spelling aside, take: “whining failyour” … both words can be “noun nouns” or “adjective nouns” … though I wouldn’t care to “name names” (I wonder, though, about whether to make a grocery pirouette)
Rechtsschreibungsstasi win.
Landing on a cast…now it’s gonna take forever to heal
Must be nice to have health insurance.
Yeah, I’d say he’s just rubbing it in, isn’t he?
Though, there is something refreshing about a total lack of self-preservation. It gives us something to comment about and the doctors a few limbs to set.
I LOL’ed at all 3 of those comments, nice
Looks like he got used. But you were there, right, K? Was the rubber used?
Let’s hope so, or his idiot children will be trying to ride their bikes over buildings for many years.
And should the materials in those bike tires fail, they may leave this world the same way they came in.
“walk it off”
Seen a lot.
by the way, the van who’s pulling bikerman is outrageously awful.
Next time just leave “I’m a douche.” as your comment.
Seriously.
you have to admit it, that van is simply horrendous.
It looks like… a normal van. With some lettering on the side. ??? Is that what qualifies for “outrageously awful” and “horrendous” these days? Wait a sec… I bet y’all are the type of guys that notice when chicks get new haircuts, huh? Or when someone’s wearing a brown belt with black slacks?
You can’t wear a brown belt with black slacks? Oops!
::Changes belt::
i guess that’s a too subtle sarcasm fail on me then.
Now that’s funny.
that van needs a motivational speaker
…blasting out “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida”.
. . .or my grindcore rendition of “Highway to Fail”.
5 year old video fail
I think that dude is older than that.
Saying “5 year old video” is a pedobear fail.
old shit is old
Yes, but good shit, as it ages like fine cheese, becomes shittier and more replete with fail. As does this video.
as a cheese aficionado and a native american lesbian, that is deeply offensive to me.
Funny, I’m a Native american lesbian too! So I’m offended at myself, self fail fail.
unless you’ve devoted your life to cheese the way i have, you have no idea what i’m feeling.
dear david,
It appears this was one of the last failpages on which you graced us with your sardonically beauteous wit. Months have now passed, and, since you may never read this, you may never have any idea what i’m feeling.
You were of the best of us.
Good life sailing, beloved.
~ dave
and dried out, hard and brittle.
Old shit is as old shit does. It happens.
Run Forrest!!
You and I
Travel to the beat of a similar drum
Oh can’t you tell by the way I run
ARRRGGGG!!!! Earworm!!! It’s an endless loop!!
earouroboros
clever pun, a little shoddy on the execution, but points for the effort
*bothsidesoftheheadpalm*
of course, should have been EAROBOROS
* (credits the don for the orthographic orthopedia) *
YAY much better haha.
omfg oldest video on the internetz
NO. JUMP WIN. LANDING FAIL.
then the jump doesn’t count…. what’s the use of getting lots of air if you land on your head?
Failness FAIL
No, it’s a jump win.
So you suffer an “accusing someone of failness fail FAIL”.
Which means I fail for the same reasons.
true.
the big FAIL here is letting someone else who wasn’t the designated driver for the stunt actually drive the car that’s about to pull you..
(i’ve seen the entire video on lots of channels.. he said that another guy was driving..so)
huh?
this is OLD!
and that is a comment
and this is a reply. to that comment. about this old video. on the failblog. on the internet. on earth. in sol. in the milky way. within the universe. around the omniverse. right behind ultimate power…
. within Chuck Norris middle finger nail.
EXACTLY!
it would still be “within” the omniverse. i would think it hard to be “around” the omniverse since it would include everything. it would be like saying your blood cell is around your body, instead of within it.
you fail to grasp multidimensional physics
how so? explain it then…
I will not! I made my point.
you made no point, all you did was say i dont understand it.
so id like to hear what you think i fail to grasp.
What I think ‘molested an ant’ is trying to say..
Is that the theory that my comment is based on is that universe sections itself into certain ‘parts’ these parts are ‘around’ the omniverse. Not ‘outside’ just ‘around’ (Edges etc etc etc)
well that makes more sense, since it would still be within. ok, good times. all better
as mentioned on previous post, my grammar is wretched, but i like my sciences…. haha
my point really was, who in the world grasps multidimensional physics? True, there are a few theories, but being that we can only experience 3 dimensions (4 if you believe Einstein), do any of these theories have any hope of being tested/proven? but what ButtheadBonzai said works too…
i still LOLD!
thanks, david, laughter makes me feel young again
Laughter makes my ribs hurt. Lol OW!!!!1!!1!!
Laughter makes me pee……I have a weak bladder.
In Soviet Russia, pee makes you weak
THAT’S WHY ALL RUSSIANS ARE SO SERIOUS!!
But I’ve never been to Russia……why is my pee so weak?
I’ve seen this before too. It has always been reported that this kid died as a result. Sad.
No, actually I’ve researched this stunt and the kid is alive and well in Sacramento, California. He has two little girls, Erica and Jessie, with his wife of two years. He says he’ll never forget driving the van that fateful day. ….The kid on the bike? Oh. He’s wormfood.
Do you know what flavor wormfood?
I know that absinthe makes the wood grow warmer.
. . and the ears more cut off!
Avis may have need of your razor witlessness.
Pardon? I think not. Let me rephrase that, DO NOT WANT!!!!
sry, my mistake; I felt you’d made an artistic impression below the ears before
*sings his apology*
“Now I understand what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity”
They didn’t, they’re not listening still…
This is what happens when you try to type as fast as you sing. They didn’t LISTEN.
Sry, did you say something? *k*
Nothing of any great importance. Just muttering, as per usual.
HAHAHAHHAHA
u jus been MURKEDDDDDDD
kinda like princess Diana
but ears cut off are then given to women who then make wood grow warmer
makes an impression
One can only hope. Darwin was right.
If he died from that, he is a fail.
Seriously, what causes someone to look at a setup like this and say, “Yeah, this looks like a good idea. Let’s go for it!”
the fame, the women, the joy that comes from riding a bicycle for a living?
the lulz go round and round –
my man, you make a career of winning
The movie Hot Rod starring the incomparable Andy Samberg?
this was actually the first thing that popped into my mind when I saw this again
Excitebike.
Hola Hamijos, estoy usando el internet
Trying to use other languages FAIL
“HAMIJOS” it’s not a word.. and I should know…
try AMIGOS next time..
why should you know, hamijo?
cause i’m from south america…
spanish is kinda like the BIG THING over here.
hamijo.
So is poverty.
*inappropriate lol*
dude, poverty is all over the world..
…who am I kiddin’.. been poor sucks donkey dong
Some poor saps can’t even afford to spell these days.
HAHAHA! funny as hell. jsut the right amount of innappropriate.
Amigos o caralho. Espanhois de uma figa, ladroes do nosso rico império! Sois a desgraça da Peninsula Iberica! Lusitania para sempre!
English failo
i have my english to fake spanish dictionary right here, and it has hamijo in it. it’s like amigos, but with more ham. and a j.
but seriously, google hamijo. it’s all over the place, so maybe a dialect thing?
must be… or maybe it’s a spanish (from Spain) thing..
I had three Hamijos for lunch today.
sounds like a sausage fest to me
I have my “sausage fest to english” dictionary here… fuzz is true about this one
now, why da hell do I have this dictionary, i dunno..
fail’s on me you guys
SAUSAGE FEST??
::masturbates::
Why is it that nobody remembers the name of Johann Gambolputty de von
Ausfern-schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dingle-dangle-
dongle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-
ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer-
spelterwasser-kurstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-ein-
nurnburger-bratwustle-gernspurten-mitz-weimache-luber-hundsfut-
gumberaber-shonedanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm?
Babelfish calls it a “translation server error”
Babelfish? That guy owes me ten bucks!
I thinks it’s a Spanish form of kitteh called “gatoh”.
It’s Gato, not Gatoh. D:
¿Te crees que no lo sé?
Unicamente trataba de hacer mención a los llamados “HOYGAN”, muy habituales en estos foros
the building was in the wrong spot
and a few feet too tall. poor design choice.
If it was a bank drive-thru canopy it would have toppled over for a double fail.
Classic… it’s been around for a few years now. shown on loads of tv shows as well.
Leep of FAIL!
Also old video D: But still epic enough to show here.
spelling FAIL!!
this video is years old and stupid – get some new material already. idiot.
NO U!
Are you volunteering to go off that ramp next?
oh oh! i will! i will!
Go make one…be creative, gangster.
D: Owww
Though this is more of a failure due to the lack of enthusiasm the crowd has to go help him.
“Ohh! If we keep yelling ‘Ohh!’ maybe he’ll get up and be okay! Ohh!”
D:
That guy is lucky he landed in some bushes and not on a rod iron fence. I want to know what would have happened if he had made it up there though.
Hypothetical situation: He actually gets enough elevation and lands on the building.
Outcome:
A. He goes off the other side of the building and gets impaled on a rod iron fence.
B. He brakes, launching himself over the handlebars, face first in to an air conditioning unit made out of a rod iron fence.
C. He tries to “skid stop” and goes off the side of the building, landing in the back of a truck transporting a rod iron fence.
It might be funnier if he lands on a WROUGHT iron fence.
no, sorry arnold, rod iron is definitely funnier
hehe thank you.
Wasn’t “Rod Iron” a 70’s porn star?
As if you didn’t know.
Hey, I was young…. I needed the money….
$$$ <—–cure for AIDS
*awkward pause*
why do all the outcomes have to do with rod iron fences?
why cant he just fall to his death, you know like a regular person and not some Final Destination type death.
Have you not seen the fences? They’re going to fucking get you, man.
Yeah, thy fences… The Demos itself… The core of the evilness in the universe… THE SONS OF SPARDA! OMFG!
I’m getting crazy. They are after Me. OH GOD SAVE ME!
I’m sure gasman will be pleased to explain to you why all the outcomes have to do with rod iron.
D. Makes the jump, falls through roof, and lands on TV.
God, I can’t stand it anymore… it’s WROUGHT iron fence.
LOL!! I just got soda all over my screen!!!
Learn:
“The beauty of choosing the rod iron fence is that the spear caps you choose will be attached to the rod itself, unlike the wrought iron fence which the caps need to be separately attached after the fence in installed.”
They are different things. Look it up on any landscaping website.
Just Googled it and you’re right. Never heard of a “Rod Iron Fence” before but it does exist. Criticism retracted.
But wouldn’t you think that that should be called an “Iron Rod Fence”? I’m just sain.
Sayin, even. Keyboard needs soda cleaned out of it.
I can relate. I’m just barely sane.
I really do appreciate all the research you guys did on the fence debacle. Armed with this knowledge, I can identify fences. I think I’m going to write a song. . .
Thanks for the warning. Fencers can be en garde.
AH! Foiled again!!
Just don’t repeeat that, okay?
never without your permission –
je ne suis jamais un rapier!
Nice riposte! That’s so clever, I may feint!
touche’, mon coeur!
Hee…right here, in the fleche.
Wait…what was the thrust of that joke again…?
you saw what i did there
“Foiled” again. I lol’d. Someone should make a “rapier” joke.
*facepalm*
skewed wits should be skewered on there own talons
or lack thereof
no joke this
Ancient Chinese secret, huh!!!
I agree. When said, “rod” and “wrought” sound almost exactly alike, especially if you’re speaking quickly. “Iron Rod Fence” would avoid confusion. I can just see the contractor ordering/installing a rod iron fence when the homeowner requested a wrought iron fence.
Oh, man, I just barely got over the hump.
I mean, I’m just sane.
I really don’t need to be gettin’ over rod.
I will spare you the incredibly dirty reply that first popped into my mind when I read this.
Instead….
*lobs another chou chou*
*gathers his overwrought wits … well, half of them*
Might I offer to assure you, milady, that there be no need to spare the rod, when ’tis a post of my honorable composition, if it so pleases you.
Though, mayhaps, we should get ourselves to a room, and there to sleep, perchance to fantasy.
Ohmigawd.
I have NEVER seen so much innuendo and inside joke-age in a single post before.
*applauds!*
I’ll be…oh. I’m already in my bunk.
Speak shall I no more this night.
Rather to bed shall I and post anon, and that your fancy realized be, anon anon, ’til it be some lasting time that a double posting thou shalt see.
Forsooth, and verily!
Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
shall I look upon thy offerings with
sweet folly and foolish laughings,
…Lord, what fools these bloggers be!
You guys are tanked.
And if, dear readers, we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumber’d here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream,
Gentles, do not reprehend:
if you pardon, we will mend:
As I am an honest Pfuck ….
NOT a Pfuck. After all…
“Nothing can come of nothing: speak again.”
Fuzz on the concept! Puck yeah!
Posting take two…(I just KNOW this is gonna double post….)
Not offended. Indeed…
“Nothing can come of nothing: speak again.”
it now appears a double posting was ever destined for to thee
’twas here was meant the post above thine lowered eyes to see
The quality of double posting is not strained…
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest:
It blesseth him that gives and [she] that takes.
Shakespearean nasty talk….EWWWW!
I laughed and then I laughed harder at myself for reading “rod iron” repeatedly and not giving it a second thought. I just imagined a fence composed of rods welded together.
Perfect-reason-to-use-the-word-KERSPLAT-in-a-sentence WIN!
Not using kersplat in legible sentence fail. Also, bonus too-many-dashes-fail.
Wait-now-I-fail. ;(
No, I used it correctly.
And I LOL’d!
So we’ll just stick out our tongues and make rude noises at him, okay?
Gnnnsgrhh!!!!1!!!!ein!!!1!ein
I KNOW, RIGHT!?
right.
I’ve heard some English not using the tongue correctly.
Trust me…I know how to use the tongue correctly.
(Ye gods…could someone please get my brain out of the gutter?)
A lass, a lack, a lick.
*goes to his bunk contemplating conjugations*
Conjugational visit?
Sure, come on over.
Ahhh an old classic!
Haha, it’s like ZOOM! (oh my gawd he’s gonna make it!) BLAM (no, no, never mind.)
Pee Wee Herman’s short-lived rebellious phase.
I love that story.
This has been around for a LONG time.
So has you’re mom.
Yeah, but your mom has just been around.
p.s. It’s YOUR, Corky. Y-O-U-R
YOUR mom does too. stfu
Son, dad is saying for you to go to sleep.
Why don’t you go try to use a huge ramp to jump a bike on to a building, you meanie. While you’re at it, have a “outrageously awful” and “horrendous” van pull you to get up to the (almost) proper speed required.
why don’t you go hang out with the Prince of Bel Air??.. there’s a FailBoat wainting for you…
But anyway, like usual, back to your mom.
I did it with her.
You’re mom obviously never taught you how to use correct grammar. don’t be irritated, your not stupid.
It’s, “you’re,” this time, dickwad.
Man… I am such a faggot.
It’s okay. You were born that way.
Ah. Gotta love my little imposters.
You have to admit that they’ve got your mannerisms down pat.
Hey Down Syndrome boy….when you’re done with school at the age of 50, then please feel free to comment something without embarrassing yourself.
HAHA, thats the best name calling ive seen on this website so far
old like my soxs
can I has chezburger nauw?
Wrong wordpress blog fail. “Cheeseburgers” are located in the “Laugh Out Loud Cat” Department next door.
you say tschüß?
i say pfti to that.
I love that word…Tschuss (Essseeettsss).
Current internet content fail.
they play this one a lot on G4
I really hoped he could reach the top of the house.
Hopefulness FAIL.
Having hope in Failblog fail.
Having hope in Failblog win, being a good thing to do fail.
Driver’s inability to accelerate to correct speed fail.
Oh my gosh, this vid is over 7 years ago!
Just like the last time you had sex!
Ouch!
OH! you’re so funny. You’re talking to a guy who never had sex.
i could care less if you’ve never had sex, or if your a porn star, or if you fucked a gorilla, its just funny to belittle someone ive never met and probably never will. Hence being on this website instead of working like the pay me to occasionally do.
but sunce you call yourself a guy, im guessing you are old enough to have sex, so either its by choice, which is cool if thats your thing, but if not, maybe you could be doing something more constructive with your time than failblog?
PS im aware i spelled since wrong.
Stunt jump not completed.
Wait, it’s not done?
Ahah, the proof that Darwin was right. When your too stupid, your castrate yourself so you don’t have kids…
old shit
You’re helpfull !
Ditto!
Except for the extra “L” and space before punctuation.
(I know you bastards too well.)
Oh so close. He’s lucky those bushes were there.
can you all stop trying to get burn of the week
No kidding… it’s like watching a bunch of 5 year olds attempt to do a really crappy play on the zero tolerance policy. “No, you said this, so you fail”. But YOU said… no, YOU.
no.
bugger off
because your bitching about it is fucking hilarious…
I would have made that jump
last
Missed it by THAT much.
Evel Knefail
Reading previous posts before posting? Fail.
I imagine he speaking:
“Now without one hand. Now withou TWO hands!!! Hey mom! Look at me! Now without … CRASH… without some teeths…”
I think he speaking:
“Now, without one hand… Now without twooo hands! Hey mom!! Look at me!!! Now without CRASH… without some teeths…”
ECHO
acho
cho
ha
I’m pretty buzzed right now.
Maybe you should change your username for now, then.
killedthewit?
Oooops… Really it is because site delay in posting my comment… FAIL
The only thing that comes to mind is…what an idiot!
Also, stupid planning without knowing the gravity laws fail.
This comment is a fail.
observation WIN
OOOOOOOOOOH
That HURTS, man! X_X
…. and yet it’s still funny.
yawnz
are you feeling le tired??
*fans armpit hair*
And I quote: “older then the internet”
But still great.
you jump you fail..jump + fail=pain + stupid
Smart fail.
watch this:
Next up: Him singing “I believe I can fly” in a very high pitched tone.
420th!!
Where’s Bicycle Repair Man when you really need him?
You know, I kinda like the comments section on this site. You can get everything on one web page, provided you’re willing to sit there and wait for everything to load. And that you’re willing to scroll scroll scroll.
Now, if only they’d implement the YouTube ‘vote’ mechanism where you can give thumbs up or down on a comment, or even report and have it blocked.
Useful thing, that blocking mechanism.
Note – when I discuss ‘blocking mechanism’, it is NOT in reference to the 1 or 2 dozen posts above mine (and I didn’t read further up). It’s just musing in general. Maybe I should have saved it for a real flame fest. Maybe I’ll just repeat the whole thing when it’s more relevant.
I said not to submit painful fails again God damn it.
Get.
Over.
It.
The guy on the bike (almost) did.
Wow… so close… would’ve been awesome if he made it.
Half a meter higher and it would have been a win. That is the distaance between a fail an a win. Half a meter. Kind of makes you think right?
ow
well at least he jumped and at least he landed…
i dont even know what that means
Failblog fail, this is old =/. The guy even appeared in a TV program, he broke some bones doing that
i love failblog.org
general hypotheses:he meant to do that. he wanted to join the the romani concerto choir. the van driver was a student (obviously) who is willing to do what this high-singing stud wanted.
At least the trees broke his fall. That’s a win, right?
i remember this one, it was on destroyed in seconds.