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Jump Fail


Submitted by Alex M

Incorrect source or offensive?

» 523 Failures in Communication

  1. Unept says:

    Jump Fail. Groin Pain Win.

  2. Psychopoak says:

    AND I FLYYYYYYYYYY….or not… that should hurt…

    • Animolly says:

      hurts real bad when you do that

      • GainesWorthy says:

        No shit Sherlock, that’s why it’s here at failblog. Ever use your brain before you post?

        • salohcin says:

          Use your brain? But it hurts real bad when you do that.

        • Actually, a Failblog user would have to use their brain throughout the posting process. Neurons fire constantly, and in order for his brain to make the necessary commands to move his fingers to type, he would have to “use” his brain whilst posting, not just before.

          It’s elementary, Watson.

          • me says:

            you know, none of the sherlock holmes novels say its elementary may dear watson…just thought it was interesting

            • Kevtheconquistador says:

              No, you’re right. NONE of them say “its elementary may dear watson”.

              The commonly accepted Pop Culture reference is
              “It’s elementary, MY dear Watson”

              Being a dick WIN
              Grammatical FAIL

              • wheelman says:

                Well, if you’re going insist on being the grammar police, I feel I would be remiss not to slap your hand for “NONE of them say …” since the correct sentence would begin with, “NONE of them says.” Make sure you know what’s up before you talk shit.

                • Dragonwriter says:

                  *loud buzzer sounds in the background*

                  Sorry! You fail! “None” is a plural, and
                  so it takes “say” rather than “says”.

                  THEY say
                  WE say
                  WHO (singular) says
                  HE says
                  ONE says
                  NONE say
                  NO ONE says.

                  Thank you for playing and have a nice day.

                  • wheelman says:

                    That’s a neat little nursery rhyme you’ve developed to assist you in remembering how to fail miserably at using the English language. Also, your last sentence should have a comma before the conjunction “and” since the conjunction connects two otherwise independent sentences. You people are all retards. It’s almost as though I’m sitting here grading my dumbass students’ essays.

                    • fuzz on the concept says:

                      gee, wheelman, are you published?

                      • wheelman says:

                        Yes, I am published. Financial research and forecasting.

                        • the b.p. says:

                          and c0ck blocking as i can see.

                        • Vikedal says:

                          Wow. You’re published for, “Financial research and forecasting”. Congratulations. Unfortunately, those of us who have actually bothered to learn the nuances of the English language, which apparently you haven’t, instead foregoing your common English studies for finance, the correct wording of the phrase would be, “none say,” as opposed to your, “none says”. For, “none says,” to be correct, the proper punctuation would have to be, “none, says”. For example, “How much does one FAIL Blog poster ‘wheelman’ use his brain?” Wherein the correct answer from the second or third person would be “None, says I.”

                          Also, please shut the hell up.

                          Thank you.

                          R. Vikedal
                          United States Marine Corps
                          O-3, Scout/Sniper Platoon Leader
                          Scout/Sniper School, MCB Quantico, VA.

                      • Adoni says:

                        Being published doesnt prove much. ive been published and my grammar is wretched. but then again i did notice in Wheelman’s earlier comment of: if you’re “going insist on being the grammar…” there should be a “to” after going, or at least be lame like me and just say gonna. that’s at least correct in hick….

                        *Slaps Wheelman’s hand*

                        PS, if you are calling your own students dumbasses, what
                        does that say about the one teaching them?

                        Positive role model Fail

                        • Dragonwriter says:

                          A most excellent reply WIN! :)

                        • fuzz on the concept says:

                          i give the don an A

                        • *sigh* though I agree with you, there still exists the chance the teacher is a Failure role model Win.

                        • Adoni says:

                          Failure role model win indeed.

                          maybe Board of education Fail?

                        • JohnRose81 says:

                          Actually, no comma shall come before an “and” AND talonsofpeace, you forgot to capitalize your T. In reference to the “and” problem, think of it
                          as this; I went to the store today and bought milk, apples, bread
                          and a black dildo. Notice there is NO comma before and.

                          Fin

                        • prezbucky says:

                          While we’re at it, just FYI:

                          Everybody
                          Everyone
                          Somebody
                          Someone

                          …are all singular.

                          Therefore, they need to be coupled with singular pronouns like:

                          He
                          She
                          Her
                          Him

                          …or their possessive counterparts:

                          His
                          Her

                          So we end up with sentences like this:

                          - The person gave his dog to a neighbor.

                          …rather than:

                          - The person gave their dog to a neighbor.

                          There is no unisex singular pronoun (standard or possessive) used to refer to people… perhaps something we should change.

                          …or we could continue winning at offending the PCers who are offended by the grammatically correct, but PC-taboo, practice of referring to people as “him” or “her”.

                          hehe (and no, I’m not editing this. If there are typos, so be it.)

                    • Dragonwriter says:

                      *sigh*

                      Okay, okay, I’ll explain, sans silly smartassiness.

                      In 1983, the Head Honcho grammarians changed the rule about this pronoun. They decided to change to rule to reflect how people actually use it. So…”none” can be either a singular OR a plural indefinite pronoun depending on the word to which it is referring.

                      Kev used it to refer to “they”…therefore, “they SAY”, not “they
                      SAYS”.

                      To be fair, I was a tad reductive before.

                      You are wrong, however, about the comma. A comma CAN be used before a conjunction between two independent clauses, but it is not required.

                      • Dragonwriter says:

                        *ahem*

                        *sneaks into last post and changes “they” to “them”*

                        *facepalm*

                      • Dragonwriter says:

                        *snork*

                        *changes superfluous “to” to “the”*

                        I really shouldn’t post about grammar when I’m tipsy…!

                        • fuzz on the concept says:

                          Maybe I should retrieve the bottle you’ve been keeping for me.
                          It’s fun to learn a “definite” thing or two and share drinks at the same time
                          … and perhaps a post or two?

                        • Dragonwriter says:

                          Oooooooooh…cheeky!

                          I’ll be in my bunk.

                      • Curious about these ‘Head Honcho Grammarians”. Are they armed? Do they kill upon seeing an improper placement verb? What are these beings?

                      • Random Person says:

                        Dragonwriter – I don’t think it’s based on the word, is it? Wouldn’t it be based on the meaning? If you are saying “no one of the books says it” then you would need singular. This is more formal and traditional, and it is how I remember the rule: none=”no one” or “not one.” I think the use of the plural comes from the idea that you’re really saying “all the books fail to say it.” Or maybe from contexts where the number, if NOT none, is likely to be plural: “How many of the cats have fur?” “None of them do.”

                        It couldn’t be based on the number of the word “them,” could it, because when would you use a singular there? In referring to ACD’s books collectively, even if you’re being formal and using singular, would you say “none of it says…”?? I think you are right: grammar + alcohol = less grammar. :-)

                        (If it sounds like I think about these things far too much, all I can say is that I have been editing legal scholarship for two years, so I’ve had to think about them, so yes, far too much.)

                        • Dragonwriter says:

                          Erm…I do believe you just made my point for me. My point was that “none” was being used as a plural rather than a singular pronoun.

                          At least I think that was my point. Last night is a little fuzzy.

                          (HAH! I said…oh, never mind.)

                        • Koncept, Fuzz On Thee says:

                          Erm … you didn’t say it was little last night.
                          But I guess fantasy can entail a lot of subjunctivity.
                          (HAH! I said entail)

                        • Dragonwriter says:

                          (HAH! You also said “junc”!)

                        • Random Person says:

                          I think what I was trying to say was: you said the verb should be plural because the sentence was “none of them say” and “them” is plural. My point, the main part of it anyway, was that that can’t be how you decide, because what singular word could you possibly use there? By this rule, it would ALWAYS be plural, but the traditional rule is that it’s singular and you’re saying it could be either, depending… um, anyway, I think I had a point but… well, I wrote that when I hadn’t had my caffeine yet, and caffeine deficiency for me has pretty much the same effect as alcohol… so never mind.

                        • Dragonwriter says:

                          I dunno what you just said…I lost the thread of this thread some time back, and I think I dropped a stitch and missed a row and got all twisted around. But this is what the dictionary has to say on the subject:

                          “Consider none as singular when you want to emphasize a single entity in a group, but consider none to be plural when you want to emphasize more than one. Examples are: None of the books is/are worth reading. / None of us is/are going to the banquet. However, when none means ‘no amount’ or ‘no part’, it must be singular: None of the debris has been cleared away. / None of the forest is deciduous. So, if your meaning is ‘none of them’, treat the word as plural; if it is ‘none of it’, treat it as singular.”

                        • fuzz on the concept says:

                          You talk purdy, Dragonlady.
                          I’ll make just this singular observation — that if none of it are true, of it none will I have.
                          (And don’t get me started on dangling prepositions — that’s another thing up with which I will not put. But if you want to dangle a proposition, you know where I’ll be practicing my linguistics.)

                        • Dragonwriter says:

                          Not…gonna…make…obvious…linguistics…joke….!!!

                          NOT NOT NOT!!

                          *dunks head in bucket of water*

                  • abstract says:

                    be, is, am, are, was, were, been, being, have, has, had, do, does, did, may, might, must, can, could, shall, should, will, would..Seii, I remember elementary school too….WIN!!

                  • Homer says:

                    Conjunction Junction, what’s that function…?

                    • FabHckyBbe says:

                      The answer to your question would be: hooking up words and phrases and clauses.

                      Conjunction junction, how’s that function?
                      I’ve got and, but, and or; they’ll get you pretty far.

                      Like: out of the frying pan AND into the fire,
                      You cut loose the sandbags BUT the balloon wouldn’t go any higher,
                      Let’s go up to the mountains OR down to the seas,
                      You should always say thank you OR at least say please!

                • Lis311 says:

                  “None [of the books] say…” Correct.
                  “None [of the books] says…” Incorrect.

                  And stuff…

              • Freeman Z says:

                “None of them says” (not …say) because negatives are conjugated as singular, not plural.

                Ponder it.

              • roller says:

                my word that’s a petty and patronising comeback..
                does your mom know you’ve been using grammar to make people feel bad?

          • Nwabby says:

            Just liek pooping!

      • Hit a building? Yeah I’d say so. . . reasoning win.

  3. em dashing says:

    Gravity win.

  4. nignog says:

    Woo =)

  5. the b.p. says:

    I can see my house from hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  6. Bill says:

    The world’s worst roofing contractor reporting for duty as ordered!

  7. The Lolz says:

    FIRST!

  8. ooooooooooooooh says:

    He hit the building!

  9. First! says:

    Next time just bring a ladder… Srsly.

  10. mode evader says:

    i don’t know how much of a fail this actually was, i’ve seen this on multiple reality shows, so in a way, its a win?

  11. Vexor says:

    Maybe this is the same guy from the ladder fail below?

  12. Art Vandalay says:

    E-FAIL Knie-FAIL?

  13. kirby says:

    ive done wosrs, i landeded on a cat by mistake

  14. Avis says:

    Must be nice to have health insurance.

  15. Dropt says:

    Seen a lot.

    by the way, the van who’s pulling bikerman is outrageously awful.

  16. Tyler says:

    5 year old video fail

  17. Captain Canuck says:

    old shit is old

  18. atom says:

    omfg oldest video on the internetz

  19. Cknarf says:

    NO. JUMP WIN. LANDING FAIL.

  20. h4x0r_over_9000 says:

    this is OLD!

  21. nsa90029 says:

    I’ve seen this before too. It has always been reported that this kid died as a result. Sad.

  22. Cloral says:

    Seriously, what causes someone to look at a setup like this and say, “Yeah, this looks like a good idea. Let’s go for it!”

  23. mecagoenvuestraputamadre says:

    Hola Hamijos, estoy usando el internet

  24. Puking in Pickering says:

    the building was in the wrong spot

  25. shoobeydoobey says:

    Classic… it’s been around for a few years now. shown on loads of tv shows as well.

  26. GainesWorthy says:

    Leep of FAIL!

    Also old video D: But still epic enough to show here.

  27. hayguise says:

    this video is years old and stupid – get some new material already. idiot.

  28. Tsuki says:

    D: Owww

    Though this is more of a failure due to the lack of enthusiasm the crowd has to go help him.
    “Ohh! If we keep yelling ‘Ohh!’ maybe he’ll get up and be okay! Ohh!”

    D:

  29. Hamst3r says:

    That guy is lucky he landed in some bushes and not on a rod iron fence. I want to know what would have happened if he had made it up there though.

    Hypothetical situation: He actually gets enough elevation and lands on the building.

    Outcome:

    A. He goes off the other side of the building and gets impaled on a rod iron fence.
    B. He brakes, launching himself over the handlebars, face first in to an air conditioning unit made out of a rod iron fence.
    C. He tries to “skid stop” and goes off the side of the building, landing in the back of a truck transporting a rod iron fence.

  30. ReTARDIS says:

    Perfect-reason-to-use-the-word-KERSPLAT-in-a-sentence WIN!

  31. Predu says:

    Ahhh an old classic!

  32. Failuritis says:

    Haha, it’s like ZOOM! (oh my gawd he’s gonna make it!) BLAM (no, no, never mind.)

  33. Uhtred of Bebbanburg says:

    Pee Wee Herman’s short-lived rebellious phase.

  34. james says:

    This has been around for a LONG time.

  35. tschuessikowsski says:

    old like my soxs

    can I has chezburger nauw?

  36. dogma says:

    Current internet content fail.

  37. ninjaphysics says:

    they play this one a lot on G4

  38. anonymous1234567890 says:

    I really hoped he could reach the top of the house.

    Hopefulness FAIL.

  39. Roo says:

    Driver’s inability to accelerate to correct speed fail.

  40. Robo says:

    Oh my gosh, this vid is over 7 years ago!

  41. Caz says:

    Stunt jump not completed.

  42. the guy says:

    Ahah, the proof that Darwin was right. When your too stupid, your castrate yourself so you don’t have kids…

  43. GoDHoRuS says:

    old shit

  44. Carroll says:

    Oh so close. He’s lucky those bushes were there.

  45. ayejay says:

    can you all stop trying to get burn of the week

  46. sligermc says:

    I would have made that jump

  47. fasfan says:

    Missed it by THAT much.

  48. Mazda says:

    Evel Knefail

  49. Omega says:

    I imagine he speaking:

    “Now without one hand. Now withou TWO hands!!! Hey mom! Look at me! Now without … CRASH… without some teeths…”

  50. Omega says:

    I think he speaking:

    “Now, without one hand… Now without twooo hands! Hey mom!! Look at me!!! Now without CRASH… without some teeths…”

  51. diandra128 says:

    The only thing that comes to mind is…what an idiot!

  52. Mec296 says:

    Also, stupid planning without knowing the gravity laws fail.

    This comment is a fail.

  53. Guy Over Yonder says:

    OOOOOOOOOOH

    That HURTS, man! X_X

    …. and yet it’s still funny.

  54. Leost says:

    And I quote: “older then the internet”

    But still great.

  55. artslover says:

    you jump you fail..jump + fail=pain + stupid

  56. looptz says:

    watch this:

  57. Elanthiel says:

    Next up: Him singing “I believe I can fly” in a very high pitched tone.

  58. Homer says:

    420th!!

  59. Tear Here says:

    Where’s Bicycle Repair Man when you really need him?

  60. ClickClick says:

    You know, I kinda like the comments section on this site. You can get everything on one web page, provided you’re willing to sit there and wait for everything to load. And that you’re willing to scroll scroll scroll.

    Now, if only they’d implement the YouTube ‘vote’ mechanism where you can give thumbs up or down on a comment, or even report and have it blocked.

    Useful thing, that blocking mechanism.

    • ClickClick says:

      Note – when I discuss ‘blocking mechanism’, it is NOT in reference to the 1 or 2 dozen posts above mine (and I didn’t read further up). It’s just musing in general. Maybe I should have saved it for a real flame fest. Maybe I’ll just repeat the whole thing when it’s more relevant.

  61. Soulcrun says:

    I said not to submit painful fails again God damn it.

  62. PloCoon says:

    Wow… so close… would’ve been awesome if he made it.

  63. Rigo says:

    Half a meter higher and it would have been a win. That is the distaance between a fail an a win. Half a meter. Kind of makes you think right?

  64. letmecomment says:

    well at least he jumped and at least he landed…

    i dont even know what that means

  65. Viktor says:

    Failblog fail, this is old =/. The guy even appeared in a TV program, he broke some bones doing that

  66. bob says:

    i love failblog.org

  67. skilletette says:

    general hypotheses:he meant to do that. he wanted to join the the romani concerto choir. the van driver was a student (obviously) who is willing to do what this high-singing stud wanted.

  68. neverhadfaith says:

    At least the trees broke his fall. That’s a win, right?

  69. adam says:

    i remember this one, it was on destroyed in seconds.



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