Submitted by Erica K
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First!!
Dargh! /drool
leeech
tiiiiick
MIIIIIIIITE
FLEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAA!!!
MOOOSQUIIIIIIITOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSS!!
It took me awhile to figure it out, but you guys are describing how you live AND how you date. Like a parasitic loser.
unnecessary and really obnoxious. do not insult other people unless insult you or something you love so sayeth the lord of internet commentary amen
c-c-c-c-combo breaker
HEEEEEAAAAAAAARRRRRRTTTTTWWWWWWWWWOOOOORRRMMMM
cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeetaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
a cheetah is a parasite? that’s news to me. XD
too many kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk’s!
Racist Fail
you fail…
you first
epic fail.
not sure if anyone noticed but just by judging how far back it is in the background…but thats one big goddamn wave
its actualy the other side of the shore i belive
Otherwise known as ‘island’.
Observation fail
i usually save this for my inlaws…but…MORON!! it the SHORE!! u-FAIL!!
You fail you nasty sock slob
*tazes*
Almost first . . . damn.
It’s ok, there’s plenty more room at the back of the short bus.
Wow, I got like 4 words into that and stopped reading. Epic brevity fail.
Anyone who read the entire post above this one, here is your silver lining:
At least you aren’t the one who took the time to post that, even if it was pre-written and posted after a search and replace.
looks like someone needs to get a life, that’s a huge post!!!
I got to about 5 words and glazed over. Please, Captain Canuck, never become a writer, it’s so not your calling.
i got as far as mudsling reaction … whatever that’s supposed to mean
Writing? no, not his calling.
Politician? Could be.
Captain for President!
yes, it’s perfect! he’ll be the next president, and all his speeches will sound good because nobody bothered to listen to what he was actually saying!
Canadians can’t be president of the United States. Fail.
Anyone of any origin can be president of the United States. All they need is for their parents to have come to the US to give birth to them, and than go back to their own countries when they are done. For example a Kenyan Muslim who was born in Hawaii…
User name win!!!! Art Vandalay!!!
I made it to 7 words! Couldn’t stand it a bit longer.
I got to about the second or third paragraph. Though I still have no idea what this “back of the short bus” thing he kept referring to is.
I lol’d because I skimmed the first couple of sentences and stopped.
Lie! Plagirist!!
I used those 14 paragraphs to get my wife to marry me!
Of course, she was DRIVING the short bus….
die.
that was the epitome of tl;dr
i found the words ‘back of the short bus’ in there. I mean, really! what in the world was that idiot doing when her wrote that!this is probably the longest post on failblog. definately too long to read
I’ve never seen more fails in one post…
A) WTF were you doing looking for the words ‘back of the short bus’ to begin with? I hope you didn’t look too hard to find them.
B) I’m not sure “what in the world was that idiot doing when her wrote that!” But what in the world were you doing when YOU wrote that?
C) “This is probably the longest post on failblog” is blatantly false. By using the word “This” you were clearly refering to your own post which was only three lines and many time shorter than the rediculous “Short bus” post above.
D) You DEFINITELY can’t write much better than whoever made that obnoxious post, infact I think you might be the same person.
E) And to everyone else on this site, how did all of you all fail to call out happyegggirl on her sloppy fails?
this is rediculous
looks more bluediculous to me, maybe a shade violeticulous.
no, no, those wavelengths are many time shorter than the rediculous
whoa, how about sense of humor fail.
Trying to get burn of the week fail.
You fail at being able to properly spell “ridiculous”.
Oh man, you guys are so naive its CUTE! Its almost like you’ve never been on teh Intertubes before. This entire site is derived from a meme sprouted
in the well fertilized fields of 4chan, I would think more people would have a clue.
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For the complete n00bs, the above is known as ‘copypasta,’ as in copy and paste. Specifically, it is a type of simple troll where someone takes a rant on a completely different topic and replaces the main phrase with something relevant to the thread. This particular rant is rather famous, and has made the rounds on dozens of forums.
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You may also have noticed other common Intertubes phenomenon displayed here such as ‘First Post.’ Eventually, this will become ‘Frist Psot’ and from there it is only a small jump to ‘Frosty Piss.’ And for those of you who are wondering, no, no one else has found a way to stop them yet either, so its best to ignore them.
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Failblog is like 1998 all over again, when this kind of crap was actually new.
back to plan /b/
(btw, Lolcattus hasn’t been using her ‘postrophes, if you need some)
Well Caption Canuck I see ur a Turd.
too…..many……words…….must….keep…..reading…….oh, look, a shiny..
wow..
haha you funny!
I heart you, you shiny bananaphone…
This post was an epic fail!
A true copy and paste WIN though.
Darn straight. Copypasta win.
Now, I don’t want to go on a rant here, but America’s foreign policy makes about as much sense as Beowulf having sex with Robert Fulton at the first Battle of Antietam. I mean, when a neo-conservative defenestrates, it’s like Raskolnikov filibuster deoxymonohydroxinate.
What the hell does rant mean?
What the hell does sense mean?
you’re having issues with the word ‘rant’ when he used deoxymonohydronoxinate. I’m just wondering what Beowulf’s sexuality has to do with anything, they make a cute couple if you ask me.
What the hell does “word” mean?
what the hell does “what” mean
What the hell does “hell” mean?
What the hell does “the” mean?
Double FAIL, nesting fail & Grammar fail, it’s
(Comments won’t nest below this level)
nesting level fail
Grendel_Tony, I think you misspelled “wont.”
that depends on what your definition of the word “mean” means.
that depends on what your definition of the word “mean” means.
you said “mean” means twice twice
Also depends on your definition of the term “double post.”
you wear some mean depends
No spywares founded!
respec are language
It’s a quote from Family Guy that directly follows george bush’s quote.
Geez. Did you honestly think I was that stupid?
It wasn’t george bush, it was dennis miller.
No, I mean the quote that the person with the username “george bush” typed.
Following a conversation fail
Definatly following a converstation fail.
Well done sir…a WIN to you and to MasterBlaze for a relevant, awesome quote and response. I nominate you for a Failie (or whatever award would be given for this).
You’re thinking of a Phaillus.
(and not to be confused with the award being given to the out-going Bush administration — that’s a Faillacy)
you win.
what’s deoxy-whatever?
This guy belongs on the short bus. He is retardedly smart!
Looks like Captain Canuck just learned how to use a thesaurus! Congratulations!
Win!
CAPTIVATING FAIL
You’re not trying to get into the weekly awards are you?
Wow, you took that long to write that, and everyone’s talking about how they
didn’t read it. You, sir, fail.
he obviously didn’t write that. he googled some generic review and did a find & replace for whatever and replaced it with “Back of the Short Bus”
go die
::dies::
Damn, that’s power!
Shall we raise an ale in memory of fepic?
Oh, here’s to other meetings,
And merry greetings then;
And here’s to those we’ve drunk with,
But never can again.
To fepic!
Maybe instead we should raise fepic and he buys the ale?
Maybe instead we should raze fepic and roll his body for the money for ale?
WIN
You torching rogue, you!
*blush*
I think he would prefer an “ail” to be raised.
Wouldn’t he still be ailing then?
yes. yes, he would.
in Misquamicut, we raise VODKA!!
note: i had NOTHING to say about the inane ramblings of the canadian what’s-his (or her)-name…so just kept hoping for something better on down the page…and VODKA always wins in my book!!
wow considerably shorter post this time
Get a life.
Many words, nothing was really said. You should run for president!
He didn’t write it.
Just the same, you’re seat at the back of the shortbus is reserved. Your probably going to want to bring lots of MADLIBS and FRITOS, because the journey to Epic Brevity Fail is a dangerous one, replete with lots and lots of endless chat from other folks intoxicated with their own verbosity.
Could you say that with more words?
I’d rather have more curds than more words.
No whey!
Exactly!
It’s just a common curdesy.
*bows gaily*
Social life EPIC FAIL.
Someone needs to up their meds.
biggestest post ever win. Look how long the box thingy is!!!!!!1!!!!one!!
cheese.
You apparently fail as a human being.
That’s already been done. It was called the Kama Sutra.
WIN!! made me giggle thanks
Classic fail: Tl; dr.
Writing? It’s not even typing.
is it a novel? is it any good? should i buy it?
or perhaps i should rent it
It’s $9.99 at the Amazob Kindle store, and free at Project Gutenberg….or you can d/l it as a PDF from googlebooks, but that 10mb of disk space that you will never get back
Just can it. Waste of comment space much?
YEah,… i think im going to save myself the time and just wait for the movie….
So, as you can see here in section F, subsection Q…
Your entire paper on using short buses for mass transportation is brilliant! However an acordion bus powered by natural gas is by far a better substitute. Oh and also you have typo in paragraph 3, 4, and 8. Happy hunting!
I got as far as “An uninformed populace is easier to control and manipulate than an educated populace” before nodding off
Every other word is “Back of the Short Bus”
Dude, you are a tool. No one wants to read your god damned essay, who the hell are you trying to preach to?
You in yourself are an epic failure. There, go right an essay about that.
Copy-Paste FTW
Props to the 40-year-old about six or seven “kids” in from the front straddling the pipe. Way to set an example.
Good call. Parenting example FAIL.
leading from the front WIN.
Perhaps these kids are not playing, nor climbing.
Then it’s fine. According to the sign, that is.
Maybe they are pooping on the pipe, at least, that is wat it looks like. The pipe may function as a sewer. Keeps the sea clean!
Understanding concept of runoff/leaching fail? *jumps back into the pool with the first graders*
hooray for swiming with poo!!!!
Uhmmm…PedoFail?
Oh, it’s fail of many variety.
The Heinz 57 of fail
then, they’re swimming in crappy waters?
i’d sit in a near bench.
Lol’d
old post reference WIN
Outfall playground.
But the children are on/around the pipe. It would seem that they are in direct violation of the signs orders. Who knows? Maybe your right! Maybe you’re interpretation is win!?
Does the sign say you cannot be on or around the pipe?
It just says one may not play or climb there.
Obviously mine right. And I’m interpretation is win.
I agree. You’re interpretation is win- but it actually says one may not play or climb on AND around, so you may play and climb as long as your not on and around the pipe at the same time.
I’m interpretation of course is building of off you’re interpretation.
Understanding Failblog Win!
Since it doesn’t really make sense in English as it is, I say alter the punctuation so that it does. New sign: Do not climb. Play on and around pipe.
They’re certainly following that rule. I don’t see anyone climbing. Now, if only someone would get the rest of those slackers in the water to start playing on the pipe, we’d be all set!
Actually if you look at the puctuation it says:
Do not climb, play on, and around the pipe. Therefore it describes the order of things you do on this beach. 1: you do not climb 2: you play on 3: You around the pipe. I am still searching for the meaning of this part. It must be what all the people are doing on that big black tube. I am not sure what “arounding” is, but it may involve something sexual. Anyway I am calculating about 5 FAILBloggers to help me out on this one considering the late hour, and that I only look at FB from work, I guess the rest do so too.
For those who do not like to read so much, the summary: Rofl, thhtels, rpleg, wow. Fail!
Conjuction/disjunction? ((and) and (or)) or ((and) or (or))
Maybe your wrong, Talons. Maybe you’re use of your/you’re is faulty!
Talons and Bongo… are you doing this on purpose?
If so, Sara J not being in on the joke fail.
Or did you really both make the same mistake?
You’d almost think that usage of “I’m” instead of “my/mine” and vice versa would give it away.
..Almost.
On the other hand; BUMCHEECKS
Damnz.
It’s totally up to you’re interpretation
Freeeedoooommmmm!
God tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he’s pretty sure YOU’RE not able to comprehend the difference between “your” and “you’re”.
You missed the PBS special, didnt’t you, Khan? Will you PLEASE start coming to the meetings?
(Besides, hand to, um, God, I cut and pasted that quotation from IMDB, and that’s how it appears there; I know it’s wrong, so, so wrong.)
(I saw what you did there…)
Argh! Damned smilies!
Winky-smilie fail on me.
appears your writing’s just prone to being a little emo
(:oops:… I said “prone”)
aw shit … I see what i did there
… I said “shit” )
(
Ben Dover and I will show you shit. He adds it to casseroles.
Language, young lady! Do you need me to come over there and lector you?
as in hannibal lector? methinks you meant lecture.
Au contraire, mon anon’ami. Methinks I be a gentleman, with a nice Chianti in my paraphernalia, should the Ms. Dover honor the offer of being in her paraphilia.
Hee hee…you said “honor”…
God tells me a lot of things too. He told me once that my parents contemplated setting me on fire when I was asleep. And he told me to huff glue and study English. We can have a grammar-off whenever your ready. :/
The grammar is already off enough around here.
Bahahhahahaaa!! Comment WIN!
He OBVIOUSLY wasn’t watching PBS at 9pm last night.
*snort*
No you’re use of “your” is right! I lose!
Your right. I’m the winner. Now give me all you’re money.
You’re never going to see an moneys.
Yes I am… exactly $1,20,000.
I don’t think that is a valid amount… maybe get rid of the first comma…hmm yes that should do….
all you’re base are belong to us.
not reading earlier fails FAIL
which one is the real talons of peace? the one with the creepy picture?
yeah, that’s me. Any other person portending to be talonsofpeace is fail.
Clearly, the sign says “play on, and around pipe,” just “do not climb.”
We should all write a book titled “On parenthesis”, subtitle: “and how they rule”.
???
Profit
Would it not be “On parentheses”?
Or alternatively, “and how it rules”.
Seems like they need a BIGGER sign.
(and maybe a couple of those auto-sentry paintball turrets or something)
has anyone found nemo yet?
Yes. He was delicious.
Poor nemo
did he taste funny?
The sign does not make sense!
Grammar fail!
I thought so, too. Should be “Do not climb on or play around or on the pipe”
You win! The sign is more of an epic grammar fail. The kids aren’t failing as hard as ths sign is. The sign SHOULD read: DO NOT CLIMB ON PIPE. DO NOT SMOKE THE PIPE. GET OUT OF THE DIRTY WATER AND GO READ A BOOK OR WATCH “LIFE GOES ON”. THEN KILL YOURSELF!
orly?
yarly
norly
Gnarly!
wai
tubular
Rhombus.
I can’t wait to bomb some Dondongos!
Trapezoid.
Phosphorous.
calcium decay!!!
Gamma radiation bursts!!1!
Radical
radicand
THE FIRE ZE MISSILES!
i thought so too…but then, in a moment of near genious i saw the “play on (and around) pipe” personally “on and or around” would’ve worked for me…but as for THEIR stupidity…even I GOT THE POINT!!! maybe they should ‘hot-wire’ it….that would stop the little bastards….huh? BWA-HA_HA_HA_HA!!!
is the fail…*do not climb, play on and around pipe*? and WHAT!?
OR parenting by example fail?
OR reading comprehension fail?
OR English as a second language fail?
OR ill-behaved children (and parents) win?
You’re correct. This can go a lot of different ways.
Since the sign is so poorly written, the children might be confused, allowing them to be immune to this failure……and so on and so on…
Taking the kids to the shore in New Jersey fail.
I think the pipe’s done a pretty good job of grooming all those kids.
The pipe gets a Parenting Win? Good observation…. I wonder how many teats it has…
its a tunnel to da centre of the earth!!~~
Horizontal…
It’s the scenic route.
Your mum is a scenic root.
doesn’t even make sense.
Clearly you’ve never had a root before.
And may we assume your mum is some kind of NutFace?
Grammar fail. How does one “around” a pipe?
Well, there was this cute little thing I met in Amsterdam one summer…..
LOL’D!!
I can tell ur a virgin
play with the pipe
First on back of the bus!
mutated genitals for all!
the new government sterilization is all DIY
It’s not grammar fail, it’s punctuation fail
It should read “Do not climb. Play on and around pipe”
The sign is perfectly clear. It says you’re not suppose to play on or around the pipe. This is the fault of the lazy parents who can’t punish their children properly.
That’s not what it says exactly. Douche.
The sign does not instruct parents to punish their kids if they are disobeying the rules as stated in the sign. This removes the parents from liability for the fail in the most immediate sense, as the children are the ones behaving in ways contrary to the sign’s requests. Furthermore, there are other clues that suggest this is not a fail after all, as the children are merely sitting on the pipe. Suppose all of the people in the picture walked out onto the pipe and sat down? This contingency is not stipulated in the sign.
This could be another “fail fail” which I believe constitutes a “win”!
If I were the government, I’d have the Ruby Ridge guys waiting about 100 yards away with sniper rifles, to enforce the rule.
@ MUFFles: What’s that about? Al-Qaeda style?
Using the reply link fail.
more like photo shop fail
why?
who could copy n paste so many kids in a stradling posistion like that?
I was yawning and your comment made me lol.
Incomplete yawn fail.
actually, if it was a photoshop fail, all the letters would look the same. the sign is bent, and therefore the letters past the bend should be thinner. and they are. the quality of shop’s we get around here doesn’t allow for anything more than clear textboxes pasted onto the pictures.
Why the hell is there a pipe there anyway?
The pipe is there to use sea water to put you out the next time Dragonwriter catches you on fire with the flamethrower. Who let her have that anyway?
No, I mean, seriously. Nothing seems to be running through it.
A river runs through it.
I’m living in a van by it.
the Farley Foley Failie
(hm, maybe there should be an award)
Not A Rapist will find himself living in a shotgun shack.
there is water at the bottom of the ocean
ack, already been done, i failed to read ahead
It came with my “big kit o’ badassiness”.
And RogueThree made a complete recovery! He’s a little twitchy, maybe, but still…
My big kit o’ badassiness came with a Minigun.
I will use it to take my revenge.
It removes the water at the bottom of the ocean.
Because that’s totally useful.
It’s because there’s water at the bottom of the ocean.
(You may find yourself in another part of the world.)
Same as it ever was.
Days go by……
Same as it ever was.
Same as it ever was!
It was placed there for curious people. If you hold your ear to the end of the pipe, you can hear the ocean farting.
It must be the Jersey shore!
Scan is finished! No pipes were founded!
In that case, my house needs a remodeling.
Illiterate herd – WIN!
why doesn’t the sign have a shadow? photoshop? plus, why is there a tiny patch of grass at the base of the sign. on a beach.
Um, being a native SoCal resident that lives near the beach, I can asure you, grass DOES grow on the beach.
Was this picture taken at Indian Lake in Ohio?????? It looks very familiar….
That sign is incoherent. Do not around pipe?!
Further, conjunction ftl. As long as you don’t do all three, you’re good.
Clearly photoshopped. Those kids were just shopped into the picture.
The kids and the water. And the boats. And the sign. And the pipe. It’s quite evidently clear to anyone who’s not a moron that that’s certainly really just a picture of sand.
Actually, it’s probable that just the sign is photoshopped.
You can clearly see how the sign’s shadow falls upon the pipe. It is not shopped.
Yes, the reflections are all wrong and the angle of the pipe does not fit!
The sign DOES have a shadow
There is no spoon, though.
Pipe credibility FAILS
Is it Michael Jackson’s pipe ?
Paedophile win.
Sounds like Cap’n Canuk needs to sit on the pipe!
Photoshop fail. Boring.
You can clearly see the sign’s shadow falling on the pipe. It’s not shopped.
Definitely not, I’ve been there.
It means “don’t play in the water on either side of the pipe, go someplace else ya putz.”
And the pipe band played on …
and around …
this looks like it was taken on the beach near my house…
Living near Crappy Beach fail.
umm no. i’m just saying i saw a similar occurrence on my beach. not crappy, funny.
more like sign grammar fail.
warning fail..it should be write ” please climb, play on and around pipe”
ok, did you actually reread what you typed here?
u so write!
This just goes to show that they do not hire English majors at the sign making places, or at the government department responsible for the production and placement of said signage. Besides, why not just remove the useless pipe?
The pipe may not be useless. In fact, it may be a major runoff for hazardous waste.
more than likely a pipe on the surface like that is more likely protecting from surface contamination, or as a breaker for waves. it is far funnier however to laugh at kids playing in sewage. makes me think of the Oblongs.
The girl in pink looks like an outcast
Do not climb.
Play on and around pipe.
Anyone else notice that the sign doesn’t even make sense grammatically.
I think there’s a kid inside the pipe too.. look closely…..
FAIL grammer
u having a FAIL spell … or did you mean Chelsey?
looks like that might not be the safest place to go swimming lol
Looks like a GRAMMAR FAIL, too.
hey look, a fail
uff. since when is “around” a verb. Syntax fail.
It’s an irresistable draw
FIRST