Burn of the Week
About the Burn of the Week
Every week, we will be highlighting a retort and one or two runner-up retorts from the comment section of failblog posts. To nominate a comment, email failpictures+burn@gmail.com
Burn of the Week
From the Cannon Fail post.
* Comments not crucial to the burn were removed to allow for smaller images. No content was harmed during this Photoshop.
Runner Up
In response to Track Fail, a video of a runner faceplanting into a hurdle.
* Comments not crucial to the burn were removed to allow for smaller images. No content was harmed during this Photoshop.
To nominate a comment for the burn of the week, email failpictures+burn@gmail.com.
Fuzz, WIN!
FIRST!
attempt to be self-fulfilling fail
attempt to be self-effacing fail:
FUZZT!
Your modesty was a self-aggrandizing WIN.
You’re observation was an observation WIN.
Your obviousness is an obvious win that is very obvious so I get an obvious award too.
Redundancy fail.
Redundancy fail.
Redundancy fail + Redundancy Fail + Redundancy Fail = Fail
mmmmonsterfail!
Redundancy win? I think so.
Dr. Obvious called he wanted his obvious back.
Oh, he wanted to tell you that there was too much semen in
your ass to tell if your prostate is cancerous. He also says
you need to stop writhing around with pleasure next time.
Therefore: it is obvious that you are gay. Congratulations.
How logical! With all the research to back it up!
UNREAL TOURNAMENT REFERENCE WIN
Holy Fail
can you guys stfu, and just masturbate?
WIN
Obviousely!
*Obviously!
pyramid
OVERFAIL. FAILING SPREE.
FAILLIONAIRE
Pun denied. Joke scoffed at. Fail. Have a nice day, failure.
you mean tridundancy right?
lol
Redundancy fail.
deportment of the department of redundancy deportment department for some winsome win
I’d like to have an argument, please…!
No you wouldn’t.
I just like to masturbate if thats anything
I’d just like to note that you just announced in front of
everyone that you’d like to have sex with yourself or an
inanimate object. Therefore: you managed to fuck yourself,
or get fucked by something without a soul.
Fuck fail.
LOL! Nice.
Deportment of the Department of Redundant Deportment denied: Form 09042-A required.
Send him to the Department of Redundancy Department
woot
Failblog is like the lottery. If you comment over a million times you will become a winner, and if your old. Fuzz on the concept must be old too.
Not too old to be turned on by you, sweetheart (’specially whenever you say “your” — you so know what I like). Wanna join Dragonwriter and the rest below?
*ahem*
*stern look*
…
Oh, who am I kidding, I couldn’t even type that with a straight face. C’mon down!
I like going down!
……..sorry to sexual.
*IS SHOCKED!!!*
…
Oh hell, I still can’t keep a straight face. My poker face sucks.
(And you can make of THAT what you will!
)
heh heh … you said “poker”
No…..I will keep that between you two boys.
SUCKER!
Hey! I’m not a boy!
That’s what she said.
Who’s she!
I told grandma to stop commenting on failblog shes crazy
yes, yes it is what she said.
to
/tu; unstressed tʊ, tə/ [too; unstressed too, tuh]
–preposition
1. (used for expressing motion or direction toward a point, person, place, or thing approached and reached, as opposed to from): They came to the house.
too
/tu/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [too] Show IPA Pronunciation
–adverb
1. in addition; also; furthermore; moreover: young, clever, and rich too.
grammar fail
I knew that it would. *wink*
If my old WHAT? Don’t leave us hanging like that.
“If my old WHAT? WHAT?!
Didnt’t you see the PBS special?
No……I stopped watching that channel at around age 10. Big Bird
would never talk directly at me…..so I had to drop that channel.
Ha ha ha… PBS is for babies.
As one of the hosts of that special, I am appalled that you didn’t even bother to watch it, and I’m sure my co-hostess Dragonwriter agrees.
Hmph.
I am not at all gruntled, and am looking for some umbrage to take.
For all the people who don’t understand her big-girl words, she is very angry and wants revenge.
Big bird rapes
A personal experience?
i hav a shirt that proves the cookie monster snorts lines of cookies
Great job ^^
FAIL
Phail.
FAIL!
Being first FAIL
ORLY!
first!!!!!
thats pretty much a fail on your part
Pi-th
3.1415926535
That’s not pi.
it’s pretty fucking close.
Actually, if you wanted to end it there, you’d have to round it to:
3.1415926536
Because the first digit eliminated is an 8.
i 8 a pI
(π test)
You didn’t eat the whole (integer) though. Put those leftovers in the fridge!
and the difference is 0.0000000001
like i said, pretty fucking close.
My friend can do the first fifty digits of pie correctly biznatch
I never thought there are digits in a pie…
Only if the baker is really bad with their knife.
good job WINtermute,
that one’s nice and sharp
so is my dick
you have a dull wit
Here’s the next burn of the week.
There are digits in pie when you don’t have a fork or spoon.
“he stuck in his THUMB!…and pulled out a plum.” Thumbs count as digits.
Can toes be to? Yeah stick your toe in it… oh thats warm!
Nice! ^^
your friend doesn’t see you much, then, do they?
Having a life FAIL!
:/
You can as well round pi to 3, in order not to check it in wikipedia
less time wasted 
I like the runner up better than the winner.
I agree: The winner was a more thought-out, detailed PWN, but the runner-up was more of an EPIC WIN that deserved a LMAO.
actually, i thought the winner just sucked.
Totally love the runner up… I think brinnann totally nailed its win on the head!
Totally nailed its win on the head? ::maturbates::
winner fail
Ditto. There are WAY too many of those for it to really be funny anymore. *disappointed face* :/
the winner did suck, but the runner up gets a cookie. =)
likewise, i’m noticing that this is a common trend.
An administrator for a blog about failing IS GOING TO FAIL.
Agreed. That was fantastic.
I agree. The runner-up was hilarious!
the masturbating one is best…made me practically blow soda out my nose…
I think that would be doing it wrong.
Ahh, the last minute push to get the top spot, eh Fuzz? Still a great comment either way (and I think you should have won BTW).
I think Cee Cee’s laid claim to that spot.
Where does anyone get off talking about masturbating, blowing, and laid anything?
Sheesh, really, come on!
You spelled cum wrong.
Heh heh…he said “get off” while he was yelling at us for…well…getting off.
^
^ I’m assuming it’s been a while for you. If you’re frustrated just use your other hand.
Having problems with your sexual life?
That’s because I do all my best work from there.
And I’m happy to support a working girl
And you’re a good bottom supporter and the top, and the front, and the back, and the side, and upside, and……
Right, shouldn’t you be blowing soda out the Pope’s nose?
heh you said “blowing”
Does that mean you were you rubbing your throat, then?
I did blow soda out of my nose…at least, I think it was soda.
Blow coke out your nose??
Yea so you can drink it again
I lol’d!
I masturbated!
I masticated!
I masticated, then expectorated!
You failedicated.
I rastifated.
I put my finger in my p00per.
I’m having pretzels
I’m having anxiety problems!
my father touched my butthole. that’s why i’m on your penny!
lol
MR. Show win!
I’ll be in my bunk…..
Sounds like an invitation…I’ll take it.
bow-chicka-wow-wow!
Damn straight!
Damn…quote recognition fail. Now I got myself a reputation!!
You know you like it!
Could be a quotation win – (if its Jayne from Firefly)
“….so this is what going mad feels like….”
“Dear diary…today I was pompous and my sister was crazy…Today we were kidnapped by hill folk, never to be seen again. It was the best day ever.”
I got that quote…and lol’d. Ah, the master of public relations that is Jayne…
Worrrrnnstrom…..
Hey-chika-bump-bump
Caboose!
brown chicken brown cow!
You’re sisters? – bow chicka – Twins?! – wow wow!
Keep an eye out for talons — you might, um, put an eye out.
*Takes an eye out* Oh really? Not if he can’t find my eye! *Stashes eye somewhere seclusive*
I can’t wait to bomb some dondongos!
… and as they were contentedly leaving the brothel, promising to return soon, the young woman with the glass eye replied, “Ok, I’ll keep my eye out for you.”
I am soooooooo not in my bunk anymore….
Get back in. I’m on top!
Bend over and I’ll…ohh, never mind…
Skullsex WIN!
Is there any other kind of Skullsex that ISN’T win?
Just ask the Tooth Fairy.
Finding eyeball fail.
The quote is from Jayne in Firefly, of course
Theng-kew, Natalie!
Jayne was always my favorite character.
Kaylee is my favorite
that’s not fucking funny.
dude, it happens all the time
I agree. Fuzz should be the winner.
there must have been a hanging chad or some shit.
Not again!
I think the failblog mafia hanged him.
Nah, The sniper club is playing for keeps…
What about me being literally burned on Spelling Fail?
*sigh….*
You’re never going to let me forget that, are you…?
Hell no.
Fuzzy, EPIC WIN =]
damn, seems that my comment was one of the ones deemed “irrelevant” to this burn. i was THIS close to getting recognition! ::composure fail::
Fuzz got robbed. Winner isn’t that impressive.
Or did he?
runner up – much funnier.
Fuzz shoulda winned!
No. Fuzz should’ve won.
No, Fuzz should have won.
You can say should’ve.
Irregular verb fail.
w00nt?
I think you mean woont’t.
i think w00t is closer.
runner up owns winner. i almost came when i read runner up
Wow. Just wow.
I’ve heard of someone laughing so hard milk came out their nose, but that takes it to a whole new level.
The level where milk issues forth in a wide and painful torrent from all of your orifices at once, making your urethra splinter open and eyeballs melt? I WANT TEH EYEBALLS INTACT!!!1!!
So is this ur tantric thingy then? Aiming for absolute pain?
(see how i sidestepped the effing your/you’re issue? learn from my greatness!!!)
kek
WTB Spell Check
No tantric thingys, I just want you’re eyeballs.
Oh! And WTS spell win.
Exclamation point FAIL “!!!1!!”
It’s not as bad as soda.
I love the burned person trying to be all serious and teach us a lesson in empathy. Holy crap! Engaging in any physical activity can lead to physical harm? Especially dangerous activities like jumping over things at a dead sprint? Who’da thunk it?!
The runner up actually made me laugh loudly…which was a bit bad, as I am currently typing this from the “throne”….ah, the joys of wifi….I remember the days when you had to lug an entire service cart into the bog to do this, complete with powercables and ethernet…now it’s as simple as, if you’ll pardon the expression, dropping off a..no, I can’t, too awful.
Man that went on for a while! Sorry for those of you reading it looking for some meaning. There wasn’t any.
Did you have a No2 with extra corn?
Nah, coulda had that at McDonald’s
A number 6 with egg noodles…don’t even ask…
I want a fun pack. Just a fun pack. :]
Runner up… amazing
Winner… pretty lame.
you got that right. winner sucked balls (sry winner)
wooohooo! go me! My masturbation skills win the burn! Ooooh.. O_o
Well, I was in the first burn of the week. Sure, the one you were in might be funnier, but I’m still better.
But Your name sucks balls… Wait! Ball sucking? ::Masturba… ; ]
looks like somebody needs to help Nowhereman finish
As well, i totally lol’d at the runner up but the ‘winner’ barely got a meh.
As well, I totally mastu…wait…fuck!
As well, I totally mastu…wait…fuck!
(My computer fails if this is a double post. Shows some posts right away and others like 15 minutes later.)
Good, I’m glad that one guy that was like ‘Please tell me you’re a hot british chick’ and wrote billions of sick jokes about his mom was just wrong.
Headache after no blood on my mind
Blood pressure fail.
Wow, it’s not a spelling/grammar fail.
Last!
fail
O rly Frith Ra?
i thought the burn was literally like, a kid getting burned, i failed myself
understaing posts on failblog FAIL
Understanding your posts on failblog FAIL. It helps to spell all of you’re words correctly and to always use correct grammar when your writing comments. ALWAYS!
It also helps to use the proper “your” when you’re correcting someone.
*rests on Sara J’s desk … like a broken-hearted baby watching PBS*
Win.
But RogueThree and I really appreciate you watching.
Tune in next time for a controversial look at the “there/their/they’re” debacle!
I appreciate you’re watching.
watching? he’s writing the stuff.
I appreciate you’re appreciation!
I appreciate that you appreciate my appreciation!
so i guess then.. fuzz shoul’ve won?
fuzz FAIL!
somebody shoulve the b.p. down the escalator, lessee how fit s/he is
I think they should pick three burns and let us vote on the winner.
Idea win
I think they should pick three critters and let us burn ‘em crispy.
oh shit, no offense, UnluckyFried!
LOL, that’s too great — I didn’t see your post before I made my suggestion, in clearly bad taste
(but, wait, crispy critters taste kinda good … oh now I’m sweating again)
Fried kittens taste like chicken with a little zang to them.
*Mmmm tasty fried kittens* Also great with beer.
Mmmmm….the OTHER white meat.
meat? ::masturbates::
kitten tenders! savory meant wands!
I love this burn.
yes, yes, feel the burn … just don’t break his nose
*feels*
Gier moar fails, instead of burns ; )
Gief * (spelling fail)
Spelling * (gief fail)
how come every week the runner up is a lot funnier than the winner ??
Because the winner is sleeping with the admin.
Did you just call the admin ghey?
No, just bi.
Bimosexual transgender?
bi people are just as normal as you, prolly more normal
twice as normal
two times as normal, prolly
guess you didn’t notice his comment either?
every post below this fails
*waits patiently for original poster to reply to this, thus creating an awesome paradox*
I just got back from being laid, can anybody else who posted here say that?
Of course anyone can say “I just got back from being laid”. The real question is: how many people can say that truthfully?
wow. a typing egg.
HAHAHAHA!!!!
::masturbates::
I just got back from Bin Laden, is that close enough?
to be fair, being laid is an action that you can get back from, and Bin Laden is a person that you can’t.
Redundancy win.
That runner-up for the burn of the week was hilarious.
OMG the runner up so shoulda won! That was great!
i know! runner-up totally made me ROFLMAO. runner up desurves a cookie!
my eyeballs hurt
did you check the freezer?
why the freezer?
Fuzz is a burn god.
Seriously
Master?
You have the most international hair i’ve ever seen
International Hair
Everything above the runner up is gay. I just made a gay sandwich (second time today (although methods varied)).
burnt hair internationaly aclaimed by someone called piffer.
What is this thing, hwo does it work. How do you knwo who wins. Guess I will go back to masturbating.
Or, You could get off of your computer and go find a real girl.
Who am I kidding? That would be too much work.
No, because he could get the girl to do all of the work.
Concept fail.
Tat second one was the best burn I’ve ever seen.
Can’t stop mast…ehrr laughing.
I am late to the party, but GRATZ FUZZ!!! You should have won!
ohaithnx!
you talk purrdy!
I read all the comments in this page, WIN!
investment of your time FAIL!
also, this is a new post.. so you haven’t read it yet!
runner up should have won
“runner up” concept understandment FAIL!
only just realised that this post wasnt part of the burn competition thing…i was like “this really isnt funny…”
observation fail, much?
i like cookies – WIN
is it wrong to have a french fry in my nose?
Inexplicably.
it’s a matter of personal taste –
do you generally like the cooking of the french?
no it aint, just make sure u snort it correctly
Read everything, totally cool. Hard 2 tell who’s male or female, so I figured I’d help y’all out. (Name)
Fuzz is hot & should have won, that’s obvious. aaaaanon is good at redundancy. Masterbation is the most popular comment, topic, and action here…or anywhere, I suppose. Omega needs an Alpha.
Summarizing fail.
These are all mildly funny post about nothing and everything at the same time. On this board it is partly stupid with a definite chance of FAIL…
I predict someone will post a “fail” under this post.
Can somone direct me to the Win section, or the bathroom whichever has more Men in it…
Can Some One direct me to the bathroom,
runner up is funnier, fuck grammar
Grammar fail
No, you mean “Grammar fail.”!
I think I’d rather just have a beer. Is THAT allowed?
I like redundancy… at least twice as much as everyone I know.
In fact, I found Failblog.org’s backup server and left two
messages there, just in case this one didn’t make it.
holy crap! thats alot of messages! like… 1…2…3…4… *continues counting, then falls asleep as he realizes that its really long, then! his head explodes as he tries for the 79th time! holy crap! this guy is crazy! i mean, just look at him! you see that glare in his eyes? that pure determination? this… is… EPIC! I mean… come on… thats one giant banana, and… JESUS! Jesus was there too, with… Mohamad Ali and they were singing, like… some song, in ALIENESE! I mean… come on! Jesus and Santa Claus?!? thats one epic win ^_^* REDUNDANCY FAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FAIL, Yorath. On SO many levels.
I was on SO many levels with your mom.
Win.
Holy Effin Failure Batman!!
Your mom only knows 3 levels. On her knees on all fours and on her back. However the latter only occurs in the rare instance where someone is completely intoxicated to the point they can stare directly at a deformed, hairy, retarded, orangutan with a grey bush(aka your mom) and maintain an erection. I myself have never been intoxicated to that extent but who knows. Maybe I just need to drink more!
redundancy FAIL! redundancy FAIL! redundancy FAIL! redundancy FAIL! redundancy FAIL! redundancy FAIL! redundancy FAIL! redundancy FAIL! redundancy FAIL! redundancy FAIL! redundancy FAIL! redundancy FAIL!
Repetition fail.
OMGWTFBBQ
The Runner Up should have won, it was so much funnier than the winner
I agree with you – otherwise we’d all be ‘ghey’
I fail at life.
You fail at life.
The world is just one big, fat, EPIC FAIL.
So go fail in a corner, cuz when 2 people’s fails mix, nuclear bombs go off, and no one wants that right?
Failed.
Failing.
Will fail.
what does “fail” mean?
you fail for not knowing. why are you on the FAILBLOG if you dont know what FAIL means?!?!??!?
Rhetorical question comprehension fail.
fail means to start again
NOt knowing what fail means is a fail
last
my man balls hurt
Failblog fail. The picture currently showing on this page is of comments on Aug 17 and 27, but this post is dated Aug 4. As are the first comments on it.
-
Time travel win maybe?
Great!
Last ^-^
Last fail
End of Fail.. ^^
wait where was the runner up?
wait… where was the winner (ending)?
wait… that gunna make a fail
… and another