Burn of the Week
About the Burn of the Week
Every week, we will be highlighting a retort and one or two runner-up retorts from the comment section of failblog posts. To nominate a comment, email failpictures+burn@gmail.com
Burn of the Week
In reply to Gift Fail, where a store display suggests you purchase condoms as a Mother’s Day gift.
Runner Up
In response to Grocery Fail and referencing a thread in Service Fail.
Grammar Fail of the Week
In response to Entrance Fail. Nominated by Simon.
To nominate a comment for the burn of the week, email failpictures+burn@gmail.com.
Grammar fails are so great
That’s better than the winner. Don’t taze me bro.
these are all absolutely retarded
so’s your mom
NO U.
So’s your face.
ETC
NO U !
NO U!
NO ME.
NO I.
NO ALL OF US!
NOM!
BVZZZZT!
Buttsecks
No denying the power of buttsecks
Tentacle buttsecks > buttsecks
dude thats grody
buttsecks=tasty
cake=LIE
mudkipz>slowpokz
charlie t3h yoonikorn>charlie bit me
screaming britney girl<rickroll
are we done yet?
I doubt it.
up your ass
that doesn’t make any sense!
dumb
Like your mom.
you guys are all trying way too hard to make a funny comment so YOU can get into the burn of the week thing
At least they are keeping with the spirit of the site, and likely failing..
Ironic don’t you think?
pee pee vagina
wha?
Well that was just idiotic and stupid… I didn’t make any mistakes like saying the wrong you’re did I?
yes
Masturbation!
good ta know…
Haha, mum jokes are to good.
This burn is certainly a win.
BVZZZZZZT!
Homestarrunner.com is based almost entirely on grammar fails.
Hey, thanks. I’m betting no one noticed that when homestarrunner was popular… five years ago.
Well excooooze him. I’ve never heard of that website.
That’s because you FAIL.
And it was still popular five minutes ago.
Nah. It only gets updated once a week, which is generally too slow for the short attention span of most internet goers.
I still wish SBCG4AP would hurry up and come out.
XKCD. Your move, sir.
Yes! XKCD wins!
XKCD.
hey!
let’s all take trend advice from ‘lord dragon claw.’
maybe i will change my name to ‘lady fairy wing.’
So is FailBlog.org.
Why yes it is my good sir
no.they are not.some are, but most are just people being smart asses.if i had any grammar mistakes, please let me know…..not!additionally i could not be bothered with pressing the shift key so if you wanna tell me off for my caps (or lack there of) you can sod off.thank you.
Grammar fails IS so great.
FIRST! Next is gay!
You are gay.
Lucky guys! Live happily ever after!
Except for Simmo33, who died two weeks later
Charles will get cancer weeks later.
but the spot lived on
you are gay and got pwned at being first.
I am gay! No wait… no I just like baking. Although I’d quite like to try it. Wait….3…2…1….NOW I’m gay.
I LOVE BEING GAY!!!!!!!!!
Everyone who comments on here should try to be as GAY as possible!
Ooooh! That idea sounds FAAABULOUS!*
*With the swishy wrist and whatnot**.
** Is whatnot a word, or should it it be notwhat***?
*** Is notwhat even a word?
Well hello there DAHLIING, what a PLEASUURE I’m SUUURE! Kisses! Mwa Mwa!
That ok for you?
*has mansex*
I think I out-gayed you all.
Dude, YOU’RE gay for posting “first”, you freaking childish idiot.
im sick of people calling each other gay. there is nothing wrong with being gay for gods sake
Nope. nothing wrong with being happy!
lolz
Drugs make you happy too
As they fry your brain.
Logical conclusion – frying your brain makes you happy.
Conclusion fail.
I think that’s more logic fail.
so does that mean to be happy you need to be gay and have drugs?
No, but it helps =)
Maybe the people are gay, and it’s more a point of fact than an insult. Like, “hey, you’re gay”, with a response like “yep, I’m gay”
I dunno, you’re probably right, they’re just being jerks.
I was under the impression that god was not incredibly happy with gays.
So being “gay for gods sake” seems unlikely.
Or perhaps “gay for gods sake” is limited to alter boys.
I bet any “alter boy” ( I assume you mean “Altar”, you homophobic asshole ) could easily kick your nerdy ass out on the street.
Wow!
You’re correct, I did mean altar. My bad.
I would suggest that you schedule a visit with a psychologist to deal with your anger issues. The psychologist would also be able to help you to deal with being sexually used by a priest, as you obviously have been.
if you ever went to Mass which I no longer do, you would learn that God hates homosexuals. I heard that if they accidentally try to walk through the pearly gates instead of go to hell, he curbs them…..hard.
Oh yes, because God is a judgemental homophobe in the sky who can’t even control his own creations and so created a toasty warm naughty corner for all the galavanting, man-humping naughty boys to go to.
Oh, and how can you ‘accidentally’ walk through the pearly gates? I’m pretty sure you’d know what they were, because:
a) they’re pearly;
b) they’re gates; and,
c) you just died.
xD I think I love you.
Nah, just the priests.
No, he really does hate the gays, but he thinks lesbians are the shit.
Because lesbians aren’t gay at all.
They’re really not ^.^
There’s no penetration, just… Something akin to bumper cars.
Well maybe if God had been concentrating more when he was making stuff, instead of playing Wii, he wouldn’t be so annoyed about making the gays. He’s only got himself to blame.
Win
Isn’t “sake” a nice plum based wine from Japan?
So wouldn’t “gods sake” be the sake of gods? It’s not possesive so it’s like the difference between “cats food” as opposed to “cat’s food.”
And then if one were “gay for gods sake” wouldn’t that make them “really chuffed for that excellent sake?”
culinary fail.
sake is rice wine. while plums DO look like little bums, we’re not gay for little bum wine.
lol@we’re.
*waves a rainbow flag*
Win.
so now were bringing god into this? man people are screwed. good thing im an atheist. if your god hates gays, why did he make them? isnt god like not supposed to hate to begin with? being gay isnt a ‘choice’ its just how some people are. maybe i seem prudish but if you go around calling people ‘gay’ and one of your best friends is gay but you don’t know it, they will never come out and may hate themselves for being gay. not only will that lead to low self-esteem, but then they could end up living a lie, which is one of the worse things to do to yourself or anyone. sry if im screwing up failblog here, but this is an issue i feel strongly about. ur stupid insults could maybe kill someone you know and love. think about that plz
would you like some cheese with that whine?
american apathy strikes again
Yeah, uhm, my grandfather killed himself because he grew up in the 50’s where it was thought that being gay was immoral and wrong, and because of some of you pigs and little 12 year olds who like to throw that word around, my grandfather is dead. So I would like to personally thank every little kid and immature young adult that goes around flinging the words “gay” and “fag” around. You’ve sure helped my life and I bet you’ve helped a lot of others too.
not because of me, i wasn’t around in the ’50s
), i had to get through that as part of the process of growing up, and i survived. if a person kills him/herself because they are too thin-skinned to shake off derisive comments from others, i’m sorry, that person has solely him/herself to blame.
for the record, let it be known i have no problem with gay people. the thought of the act of sodomy repulses me, but then again, i don’t like mustard, and you don’t see me calling for more condiment controls. i am not opposed to gay marriage either, the state sanctions marriage because it has a stabilizing effect on society, if 2 people decide to pair up, each of them are less likely to engage in risky and destructive behavior because they are no longer the only one who would be hurt by it. I don’t think it makes a difference whether the pair are m/f, m/m, or f/f.
on the other hand, i will call something gay if i think it’s stupid. this does not imply that i think gay people are stupid, its just a figure of speech. i think most gay people understand this, and can tell from the context that i am not intending to be hurtful. if it offends you, sorry, but you can’t control those around you, so get used to it. growing up, people called me creepy, weird and a freak, geek, nerd, whatever (still do in fact
Sympathy FAIL!
It’s ok, we forgive you! I say more gay jokes than most heterosexual people I know.
so true.. haha the best gay joke i ever heard came from this lesbian i went to high school with..
self-confidence win
Jacob, The Little kids weren’t around in the 50’s. Neither was I. We contributed in no way contributed to your grandfather’s death. Think twice before
you say things like that.
Honorable DrPwnage,
Looks like you’ve contributed once too often. You should probably think twice before ytou say things twice like that.
metou, mebbe!
Actually, if your grandfather would have thought that it
was okay to be gay his whole life, you probably would
have never been born.
It’s okay, you gay fag.
Is there another type of fag other than gay?
There are kids dying in Africa and fat women getting pissed off that McDonalds has crappy customer service. Nobody cares about your grandfather.
Jacob, if it weren’t for the “oppressive society” telling your grandfather to no be gay, You Wouldn’t Be Here! Is that what you really want?
yes
Woah, cool the jets. Calling someone “gay” on an internet comment doesn’t mean that they are homosexual. For that matter, it doesn’t personally reflect on them at all. It’s someone else expressing their opinion, albeit in a simplistic and fairly low-brow way. It’s similar to being called a bitch. You’re not really a female dog, but that isn’t what was intended. It’s a figure of speech. Treat it as such.
I can only guess that by “Growing up in the 50’s” means he was about 15-20 years of age by 1960. Now, hiding his gayness means he got laid with a girl and spawned one of your parents (something you owe YOUR life to). Now, being 15-20 in 1960 would imply that, had he not topped himself and failed at life, he would be about 68-73. Last time I checked, people can die of natural causes at this age and earlier. Or he could’ve been hit by a bus. So don’t blame us you cockbiting fudgepacker!
GAY
Excuse me, but weren’t you the one who just said
“Sympathy FAIL!” a few comments above?
Erm, my DAD wasn’t even alive in the 50s… ANd if he killed himself, how are you in existence. I don’t know much about necrophelia, but I’m pretty sure they can’t mate
fag…
Wait.. you freak. What was your grandpa doing to a bunch of 12 year olds to make them call him gay? Maybe your grandpa wasn’t so much gay as he was a freaking PAEDOPHILE.
personally I use “ghey”… I find it less offensive and much more 1337
“ghey” and “gay” as it is used in parlance on the interwebz, has nothing to do with homosexuals.
Dunno about you, but whenever I call something ‘gay’ there’s buttsex involved somewhere.
1337 win
THE UBER FAIL the nerd drops of the deep end on his path to getting laid
…Except for the FAIL at perpetuating the human race…
Yes, I am very happy thank you.
Blast! You beat me to it.
I’ve seen worse…
Simmo33 needs to stop projecting his feelings on to others.
Originality fail, man. Be original and don’t copy the same phrase that has been written here by others
Originality fail, man. Be original and don’t copy the same phrase that has been written here by others
Originality fail, man. Be original and don’t copy the same phrase that has been written here by homos
Originality fail, man. Be original and don’t copy the same phrase that has been written here by teh lolcatz
Originality fail, man. Be original and don’t copy the same phrase that has been written here on teh interwebz
Originality fail, woman. =]
lol WIN
Playing along with the joke fail.
sheep
mongoose
ALBATROSS!!!
Chicken???
pre-op tranny is confused by this statement
Originality fail, man. Be original and don’t copy the same phrase that has been written here by others
x
FIRST fail
The best part is that “maybe if you’re learning” is pretty questionable, too. “Maybe if you were to learn”, perhaps?
Sara J obviously built that sentence to contain that “fail”.
Thank you, Nwabby. Finally, someone got it.
Everyone else = recognizing ironic continuity fail.
Oh, I got it. If it makes you feel any better. I just have too much faith in humankind and assumed everyone else would get it too. After reading through the comments on here, I have reconsidered my position. People are dumb. End of story.
True enough, ND.
isnt’t it you’re instead of you´re?
*sighs*
*facepalm*
umm wots the diff? its probably super simple… mebbe being blonde duz make u more confused
another thing that is “PRETTY QUESTIONABLE” is why you sent that comment in the first place.
Your sexuality is pretty questionable.
Your face is pretty questionable.
you know what’s questionable? YOURMOM
or is that you’remom….
You have no idea what’s truly questionable so I’ll enlighten you: Your DICK is quesionable. (I dare you to try to find a grammar fail in that…)
Your spelling of “questionable” ^ is questionable o.o
Your sexuality is pretty FABULOUS!!!
how do you get the “burn of the week” to show up? all i see is the “click to view” picture… or is that a fail in itself? XD
burn of the week is the screenshot of comments that were wack.
using the word “wack” win.
me thinking they only said phrases like that in the movies fail.
me not living in America win
Wiggity-wack win.
Wiggity-wack win. Fancy that!
Wiggity-wack. Fancy that!
T’would be a fail
To lay on train tracks!
understanding fail fail
——————–> go home.
she’s there. failblog is home of the fail.
i fail.
.
superfluous period win.
All. periods. are. superfluous. periods.
Tell this to my vagina.
ROFL!!!
that’s all i an manage, thx >.<
Do I need to schedule an appointment? Or is it available anytime?
^ Fail of the week
Maybe if you’re Mario
Maybe if you’re… oh damn.
First!
Heh. You guys crack me up.
That’s what she said.
life is short … play more
The grammar issues win out of these 3, hands down. Hilarious how correctors are incorrect as well…
Sigh.
your making Sara sad … (wait for it …)
… is brought on by you’re not learning the irony of your failing.
… as in the fact that you ain’t.
You are win!
Am I the only one who saw your irony?
Now you’ve learned your lesson about joking over people’s heads.
“your learning” is also correct because the learning is in someone’s (your) posession.
FAGGGGOTS.
the rest of the sentence matters too, man. .
Actually, green_guest is completely wrong. The word “your” does not fit with the preposition “which”. Also, without the contraction (you’RE), the verb is wrong because “learning” is in gerund form and needs the “are” as the auxiliary verb. The possessive “your” contains no auxiliary verb for the gerund.
/complete geek moment.
Sara, I got this.
Understanding of the joke fail.
WIN!
Dragonwriter… baby you are sooooo hot! Someone bring me a Fan…And I am now Lightly perspiring!
how do you posess learning…isn’t that a verb like to do something…last i checked you can’t hold an action o.O but then again as an internet commenter my grammar sucks in the first place XD
stop laughing about Americans EPIC FAIL
)
they are always so inventive
I think we should quit trying to find grammar “fails,” and instead look for grammar “succeeds.” It’d be a much tougher search, I think!
yup! spelling doesn’t count in the grammer category, right?
oh and by the way, I LUFF YAOI!!
Yaoi FTW!
Not so.
You for the win.
there’s nothing wrong with gay people ^^ they’re and talk all cute and sassy.
insult fail!
“they’re and talk…” Huh? amira sloowww down before you post something. idiot.
Yes, but don’t hold down a letter for too long now- a little tooooooooooo slooowww there.
contrary to popular belief, we’re not all sassy, and no, we don’t want to take you shopping.
*watches girl’s head explode*
Contrary to hayguise’s belief, I will take you shopping.
If you buy me coffee.
yore all horrible grammarians
I’m trying real hard to resist this one.
Resistance is futile! However, Picard failed at resisting, so I guess it’s ok.
That’s what she said.
nothing gets me hotter than when she calls me a horrible grammarian from the days of yore
or perhaps, “really” hard…
Understanding sarcasm fale.
Yes, the horrible grammarians of yore. Those were the good ol’ days! ;-D
aw man is my face red…
i meant to say “yore awl horrible grammarians”
Aw, c’mon! You’ve still got the word “horrible” to work with! There’s always room for improvement! ;-D
You’re Harrible.
whoaribul.
whoreibull.
In America, epic fails you.
ha, no reason to resist this! “GRAMMARIANS” isn’t even a word retard!
Please tell me I’m just not picking up the sarcasm here.
Otherwise …
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/%20grammarians
FAIL
I love you!
Just don’t call me a philologist.
word retard LOL
Photoshop!
Yes, the ‘Burn of the Week’ banner was photoshopped.
Ok, that was epic win for you carroll. +_+
Thanks…I’m inspired by the commenting masters who’ve gone before me!
How about “grammaretards”? That ’bout covers it…well, at least until the bad spellerarians come to play.
Carroll, I think you are misinformed, there are no such beings as spelleraliens. Them, all their stupid spaceships, and their outer space spelling bees: all bullshit. Don’t watch so much television.
unintentional irony? WIN
hoo sp3llz b4d heer?
I like grammartards looking for grammarturds. Worst still would be grammarnazis looking for….. grammarfags! Oh wait.. I guess I fail at getting the whole point of the political correctness rant… I’m so terribly sorry… I now feel so dirty.
……
Spellerarians, come out and playeeay (a “Warriors” reference for you young pups!).
no. fuck up.
wow…”grammarians”…ha ha
I think jonathan’s “……” illustrates my surprise as well…or speechless gape.
well i guess it would be both? who knows. the only thing i am thinking is HOLY CRAP!!! THIS IS ONE OF THE LONGEST FREAKING BURN THREAD I HAVE EVER SEEN!!!
OMG i’m laughing my ass off XDDD
Now there’s a mental image that I could have lived with out.
FailBlog and y’all make my life!
I love you too family. <3 *Cries*
It always remember me: “All your base are belong to us”
\o/
You’re my familly too! For Great Justice!
2nd one = serious win. ’nuff said.
You too are my family! My brother! *cries a river*
Oh, I’m so proud-I need a kleenex, I’m tearing up here. Thank you God for providing me the stupidity to not proofread.
/was involved in epic grammar fail
Congrats! You have been identified as a grammatical idiot.
That’s great! And it’s only my first week!!! Imagine my potential!!!
I’m laughing so hard I can’t even think…so…
Last!!!!
This can’t be right.
Who did I burn? Sophocles??
Yes!!!
And he’s dead so he can’t do shit about it!!
also 10th grade English teachers needed to get burned.
(And +100 win points to you for actually making a witty and intelligent joke on the internet.)
…What? Are you trying to say Sophocles doesn’t deserve to be burned? You owned his ancient ass! Be proud!
Sigh. “Whom” did you fail? Direct object pronoun. If yer gonna be smart, try vein all the way smart.
grrr bein
I’m not sure which is worse. The fact that you used the improper spelling to begin with, or that you then corrected yourself with additional improper spelling. On purpose.
It’s ‘you’re’ and ‘being’. And if you really want to get picky I could mention your mangled sentance structure as well. But seeing as you’re obviously such a language purist, you’d know that already, right?
it’s “sentence” structure, akshully.
If you’re going to be a pretentious jerk and correct someone else’s grammar, try using spell check.
spelling “sentence” correctly fail…
*headdesk* Accepts the fail. Should use spellcheck myself. Touché.
geez…does anyone really say WHOM anymore?? I mean I know it’s technically correct….but I never use it. Please don’t tell my tenth grade English teacher!!!
Failblog Friends!! YAY!! <3 *heart*
i lobes grandma herrors
*sob*
well y’all are mah bruthas from differnet internet muthahs..
i love lamp!!
Man, I love that movie a lot
I love that movie
and wow, everyone here loves arguing
it’s quite entertaining
Grammar fails make me laugh.
me too. even if i made them…
pointing out Grammar mistakes:
Number one on our list of ‘top ten signs you really need to get laid’
amen!
WIN!
I hate how people do Grammar Fails.
loved it when he fell off the stage. Kelsey Grammer FAIL
lolz
……nobody spells fail “phail” anymore. It upsets me to no degree.
*upset*
there there don’t cry mimi, we can resurrect that old meme if it will make you happy.
sympathy phail
see?
Well at least it doesn’t make you want to go and cut yourself because people who cut themselves upset ME to no degree
heres a good one
yo mommas so hairy that when you came out, u ame out with rug burns
you all are being stupid, and if you guys are going to be stupid and come in under a different name and say different stuff and be two faced, at least make one of them nice enough so when you send someone your picture they’re eyes don’t burn out of their sockets…
Why’re wii woried abutt spelng en thiz o sew enlitent whirled uf r’s ? Eye pheel grate wen sumwon lerns mi mistakes from…
All i now is thta i feil contestantly…
fail blog lasting so epicly long about pure non-sense = winning phail.
congrats!
Eeek. That is very weird. Another Mimi who says phail.
*Confused*
:]
Fail….
PHALE!
Phail.
Or was that pHale fail?
You are all Omni-tarded, which, if I am not mistaken, encompasses at the very least, EVERYTHING.
i failed coz i read all teh abovez
I LOL’D
this whole page fails.
It failed when you said this whole page fails.
It failed when your mom sat on it with her fat ass
It failed when your father locked eyes across the swamp with your mother, dragged her back to his hut and made you.
That’s right, I’ve seen your home movies!
OMG epic win! (^^)V just keep up the failing and try not to win.
more like stairway to devon
this is so fcuking long ppoples
did you know turkeys eat penises?
Oog’log.
Yes you.
Don’t forget what you named yourself.
Retardism isn’t funny, do not display it here.
There’s asylums for people like you.
every one look up we didnt start the flame wars on you tube it perfectly encapulates this entire page
“i just read all of that” fail