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Burn of the Week


About the Burn of the Week

Every week, we will be highlighting a retort and a runner-up retort from the comment section of failblog posts. To nominate a comment, email failpictures+burn@gmail.com

Burn of the Week

Runner Up

To nominate a comment for the burn of the week, email failpictures+burn@gmail.com.

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» 588 Failures in Communication

    • rcpro8 says:

      HAHAHA

      • Gobby Bee says:

        I just wanted to slot in here, at the top, that there is an immensely long, drawn out and unfunny bunch of comments about GRAMMAR later in this thread… save yourself time, if you don’t like grammar arguments, by starting at the bottom or something. I enjoy this site but feel the GRAMMAR BICKERING is sad and pointless. Some people CAN write and use grammar correctly and LIKE to write correctly. Some people CAN’T write and use grammar correctly OR they like to shorten their sentences. I like to try and write as well as possible but, mistakes are made…

        Anyways – if you like people arguing over apostrophes, commas etc. READ ON READER! If you think it’s gay… time to hit ‘back’

        Kind regards

        Gobby Gee

        • B. Schmidt says:

          Hey Mr. Hight And Mighty, you misplaced a comma, made an error with your ellipsis, made an error with quotation marks and left a period off the end of a sentence.

          “I like to try and write as well as possible but, mistakes are made…”

          The comma should be before the “but.” When ending a sentence with an ellipsis, you end with four periods.

          “Anyways – if you like people arguing over apostrophes, commas etc. READ ON READER! If you think it’s gay… time to hit ‘back’”

          “Anyways” isn’t a word. Using single quotes should only be done when you’re quoting within a quote. And it’s just basic grammar to end sentences with periods.

          I’m done.

        • That Guy says:

          Dear Gobby Bee (Or is it Gobby Gee?),

          You suck.

          Sincerely,
          This Guy

          • minishaw says:

            wow im burnt for grammer grats grammer police victory to you grats on that victory indeed

            but to be honest i was defending a religion from some racist scum who thinks jokes about other religions or races are funny but to be honest most 18 to 13 year old boys in the usa are like this with the lack of respect that is given now to others

            oh and thanks for making this the second time ive been on the main page because i did get a picture on the front once before ^^

        • stingray02 says:

          Gobby Bee,

          I actually quite enjoy grammar discussions and arguing over commas, apostrophes and the like.

          To that end, you need a period after “back” but before the apostrophe. (I’ll assume the use of apostrophes instead of quotation marks was a stylistic choice.) You also need a comma after “regards” in your valediction.

          Cheers!
          StingRay

        • Tehshay says:

          Grammar isn’t something bad to argue over, necessarily. I’m an English teacher and it drives me nuts. People need to learn the damn language, then come back and try to argue over something stupid, so we can actually understand what the are saying.

          “Kind Regards”

          Shay

          • country grammar says:

            God, i love paying taxes for shit head teachers like you. There is no better understanding to be gained of the english language (or anything for that matter) from the comments section of this blog. If this is your idea of learning, it’s no wonder that America’s education system is failing. That is assuming you happen to be a teacher in the U.S. if not: you’re still a shit head

            • Happeh Hippeh says:

              Clearly you don’t understand that teachers have an obligation to teach the proper structures of the English language. Tehshay wasn’t implying that there was better understanding to be gained from the English language of this blog, but rather was commenting on the apparent lack of English language education that many people are exhibiting in this thread, and the impact of difficulty in comprehension that many people are having due to this.

              I’m sure there will be at least one comment about my spelling or punctuation somewhere along the lines. I think people need to look at what is being said as well as how it is typed, though.

            • Johnny says:

              hense the grand meadow edumication… thnx 4 ur suppart. :D

          • Theghay says:

            Commentors (those who claim to be English teachers, in particular) who insist on pointing out the grammar mistakes of others, would do well to proofread their own posts. That way, we can actually understand what “the” are saying.

          • Palanthas says:

            “actually understand what the are saying.”

            How about “…what theY are…”?

          • toomuchredbull says:

            You forgot a ‘Y’ there.

          • Mickey says:

            Shay,
            Epic Fail on your “I am an English teacher / Everyone learn the damn language” post: “what THEY* are saying.”

            Way to go,
            Mickey

          • Alistair Turner says:

            Don’t you mean what theY are saying?

        • dolt says:

          hear! hear! well said!

        • fjkl; says:

          you accumulate “much too many” bullshit in total

        • who am I says:

          your name is Gobby Bee not Gee.

          Knowing your own name Fail.

        • Breeya says:

          is it gobby bee or gobby gee?

        • annoyed says:

          I have a question, how can correcting grammar be gay?
          What does that mean? I do not understand people who use gay as a description of something that has nothing to do with a sexual preference. Will someone enlighten me please. Otherwise do everyone who actually understands what the word gay means and stop using it out of context…you’re not 5. Thank you.

          • Johnny says:

            gay does not describe a sexual preference… it is a nomenclature for same sex couple/relationship… and by the way… gay has officially taken its own term… there r now 3 tipes (yes i spelled types=tipes) of gay… u FAIL!

        • Kittymouth says:

          You would have gotten a WIN from me except for your obnoxious use of ‘gay’
          as a slur.
          Fail.

        • PeterDunn says:

          I bet you want to “slot in”

        • Goose says:

          Gobby Bee condones the use of ignorance. (See just right now I had to look up how to spell “ignorance”. Calling out bad grammar is winning English back from the depths of LOLspeak.)

          Kind regards to YOU!

        • delaware says:

          epic fail. it says Kind Regards: Gobby Gee and yet your name is Gobby Bee. i hereby name you Gobby Failure.

        • jjasz. says:

          Isn’t your screen name, ‘Gobby Bee’ not Gobby Gee? Maybe you should read over what you send.. You’re a fucinng idiot.

        • Ness says:

          I didn’t read everyone’s comments but did anyone else notice that It says “Gobby Bee” wrote the comment, but he signs it with “Gobby Gee”?

        • you're says:

          there’s no such word as ‘anyways’

          i’m going back to slotting Mrs. Bee.

      • morgan says:

        post this message on the next burn of the week.

    • failure says:

      first reply to the first reply of the first comment

    • bleep says:

      nice language, genius

    • hai says:

      Raise grammar awareness.

    • The Manticore says:

      You all fail. thank you, and have a nice day

    • Me says:

      Wow everyone here epic failed at having a life…. Who the **** bothers about grammar in comments anyway? Go get some guys and gals!!! Plus this site being one of the LOLcat group you’d assumer lack of grammar isn’t necessarily a bad thing…. Toodle-pip

      • Kelsey Grammer(not really) says:

        Hear Here!! I made that same comment up higher a little ways, but you made it first it seems (didn’t notice it til after obviously) But glad to see someone else caught that irony. Oh, and toodle-pip?!?!?

    • jiggerman says:

      I’m quiet concurs.

    • country grammar says:

      I bought a used car once. Ten years later, BAM! herpes.

  1. the Ring-Ring-Man ^^ says:

    “Welcome to the show!” – the Ring-Ring-Man ^^

    • Nobody says:

      *Casually looks at the silence to the left* *Casually looks to the silence to the right* *Listens to the cricket chirping at the far end of the hall*

      Well if your going to enter like that with a capasity crowd of ‘me’ atleast show me your BOOBS!

  2. pew pew says:

    I think the runner up is the greater win.

  3. megan says:

    yesss. grammar fail, ftw.

  4. dolt says:

    don’t you just hate people who nitpick about grammar

  5. Mike says:

    Both are great if you ask me, which nobody did but whatever.

  6. Lord Dragon Claw says:

    Second one was much better.

    They nitpick about grammar and yet no one cares to correct the punctuation; fail.

  7. The Snarkmaiden says:

    Actually, the “winner” in the first one fails epically for misspelling “don’t” in a reply calling someone out on a misspelling. Not to mention failure to capitalize the first letter in a sentence and place a period at the end.

    Grammar plz, indeed.

  8. asdfds says:

    Yeah I like how both of them are about grammar.
    Diversity fail.

  9. incompetence victim says:

    What’s even more of a fail is that no one seems to get that racism and religious intolerance are not the same thing… since when is being Jewish make you another race? Congratulations, you just failed again.

    • risskia says:

      Errr…well, some Jewish folks think of “Jewish-ness” as an ethnicity – like the Sephardic (sp?) Jews.
      Other don’t.
      Go figure.

    • k8 says:

      Ask the last pope. He said so. :P

      But since “race,” biologically, is defined as an inbreeding group, any group that consistently and exclusively breeds within itself (which would lead to the development of characteristics/features with a much higher incidence in the group than with the rest of the population of that same species) can be considered a breed. Since for hundreds, probably thousands, of years Jews have for the most part married other Jews, it is possible and really quite accurate to consider Judaism as a race, not just as a religion. If you would like to come up with a better adjective to avoid confusion between Judaism as a race and Judaism as a religion (i.e., if you really want to specifically refer to Sephardic and Ashkenazi people), be my guest.

      • Me says:

        I figure that Jewish refers to race, Judaic refers to religion and Israeli refers to the political nation. At least that is the functional definitions I get from their common usage.

        • imamario says:

          Whatever happened to the term ‘Hebrew’ (adjective or noun)? I think that’s a more appropriate correlate to ethnicity and it frees up ‘Jew(-ish)’ for application to proponents of the religion. ‘Judaic’ seems to correspond more to an insentient object or idea of the religion than an associated human.

          • 3ntropy says:

            being jewish means you can practice the religion, have jewish blood, or practice the vulture – or do just one of the three. hebrew is the language that is spoken in israel.

            • MYDIGITALEYES says:

              when-ever i practice vulture, i always use proper gramma, um, grammer, and i always try to place my commas, oh,crap, comments in the rite, um, no, wait, write, no…wait, don’t tell me….um, corralative spot. crap! i give up….back to drawering pictures i guess…has anybody seen my crayon? you know, the nice purple one? NO! not the “BROKEN CRAYON”!!!! (that’s for you alessio!!)

    • david says:

      religion and race are really just arbitrary distinctions anyway.

  10. Insanus says:

    Congratulation to the Failed-Finalists. You really deserve it.

  11. Heino says:

    My God, I’ve never witnessed a comment board filled with such an assemblage of losers with obvious penile deficiency issues…
    To paraphrase the words of William Shatner in the SNL sketch from the 80′s:

    GET A LIFE, will you people?
    I mean, how old are you people? What have you done with yourselves? You, you must be almost 30… have you ever kissed a girl? I didn’t think so! There’s a whole world out there! When I was your age, I didn’t watch television! I LIVED! So… move out of your parents’ basements, and get your own apartments and GROW THE HELL UP!

    • :(   says:

      You hurt my feelings. :( :(

    • Ocean_Pacific says:

      Cry baby fail!

    • SmogMonster says:

      12 going on 85?

    • Reddo says:

      I fail to read long texts

    • david says:

      my penile’s not deficient!

    • aphrodite says:

      but…but … I don’t have a penis…sniff…sniff…I feel very left out…but I HAVE kissed lots of girls…mwahaha

    • Channie says:

      My God, I’ve never seen someone post such a long rant about nothing! Wow, AND you insult people? Please. All you need to add to that is something that begins with ‘yo mama’.

      And to paraphrase something a BIT more sophisticated…
      “Good Lord, what fools these mortals be!”
      Now, If you think we’re almost 30 and have nothing going for us (I’m 18 and going to a state school to major in anthropology), and you’re telling us ‘when I was your age’… How old are you, my fossilized compadre? I don’t think you need to grow up any more, you’ll probably strain yourself. So go drink your prune juice and watch reruns of Andy Griffith. The Internet is no place for you. And have a nice day! <3

      • gumby says:

        You’re majoring in anthropology and yet you still insist that “nothing going for you” doesn’t apply?

        • Charlotte says:

          I disagree.
          However, your reply made me giggle.

        • Tiamat Ruler says:

          What’s wrong with anthropology? You may not know what the word means and you obviously think you’re cool but that doesn’t give you the right to diss someone for their interests. You probably won’t know what this means but I’m going to college to get a doctorate in paleontology. Now someone will probably end up trying to burn me.
          You say that majoring in anthropology means that he has “nothing going for him” but you didn’t even mention what you’re going to do for a living. Let me guess, you plan on working at McDonald’s or some other fast food restaurant your whole life so you can spend your free time reading comments? Before anyone mentions the fact that I’m reading comments, I’m not in school right now and a friend told me that I should read this. So here I am.
          Oh, as for my grammar. I already know that I’m horrible with grammar. That would be why I got a C in English class. Everybody has different strengths and weaknesses. My strengths happen to be science and math while my weaknesses are English and history.

      • Johnny says:

        quote from Channie… “My God, I’ve never seen someone post such a long rant about nothing!”
        Channie: FAIL!

    • That Guy says:

      You just paraphrased Shatner, and we have no life? You’re just lining up for a major burn. Where’s that bend over guy when you need him?

    • Anonymous says:

      I’m nowhere near 30, and I’ve never kissed a girl because I’m a straight teenage female. I’m not old enough to live with anyone BUT my parents, and we don’t even HAVE a basement.
      Fail to connect with anyone but yourself.

    • Monkeyrokker says:

      Hypocrisy win! You complain about losers spending time commenting, and somehow fail to notice the irony explicit in your own comment. I love you for that.

  12. cochon says:

    shouldn’t it be “burn of the weak?”

  13. Bakes says:

    8th grade grammar teacher win!

  14. Sam says:

    The first one isn’t even remotely funny. It’s actually rather offensive to both Jews and people who know how to type properly.

    The second one, however. has much WIN.

  15. Fishy says:

    This is making me fear posting comments.

  16. me says:

    I think the runner up was better.

  17. Gnarlyswine says:

    rotflomgwtf you’re spELINgz n gramerz is awl sO bAd!!1!!!111

  18. redpirate says:

    It’s a fail party.

    Respect for Jews FAIL
    Respect for developmentally disabled FAIL
    and grammar FAIL.

  19. Mike says:

    own’t

  20. doctordeath says:

    In Soviet russia, the week burns you.

  21. Rae Rae says:

    You’re mom is so bad. People here need to get a life, and get laid maybe.

  22. officesa says:

    wen fale gramur ay

  23. Sala says:

    Yeah, woo! Let’s rip apart the guy who respectfully asks for no racial/religious slurs! WIN!

    Postscript. Judaism is also an ethnicity, and thus antisemitism could be considered racist.

  24. jen says:

    so back to the issue at hand…wtf is the fail? It’s gone now apparently? Someone who saw it please explain it then.

    That might be productive and/or interesting as opposed to a whole bunch of poorly spelled posts and then more of them trying to correct the first.

  25. Raowman says:

    Does anyone work?

    • Sara J says:

      I “work”, does that count?

      • 3ntropy says:

        mis-placed comma fail

      • TweetTheFailWhale says:

        Quotations Marks with Other Punctuation

        One question that frequently arises with quotation marks is where to place other punctuation marks in relation to them. Again, these rules vary from region to region, but North American usage is quite simple:

        Commas and periods always go inside the quotation marks.
        I know you are fond of the story “Children of the Corn,” but is it an appropriate subject for your essay?
        “At last,” said the old woman, “I can say I am truly happy.”

        Semicolons and colons always go outside the quotation marks.
        She never liked the poem “Dover Beach”; in fact, it was her least favourite piece of Victorian literature.
        He clearly states his opinion in the article “Of Human Bondage”: he believes that television has enslaved and diminished an entire generation.

        Question marks, exclamation marks, and dashes go inside quotation marks when they are part of the quotation, and outside when they do not.
        Where is your copy of “The Raven”?
        “How cold is it outside?” my mother asked.

        Note that in North American usage, you should use single quotation marks (‘) only to set off quoted material (or a minor title) inside a quotation.

        “I think she said `I will try,’ not `I won’t try,’” explained Sandy.

        –http://www.uottawa.ca/academic/arts/writcent/hypergrammar/qmarks.html

  26. #N/A says:

    Are conjunctions not considered bad grammar? Come on people. If you’re going to claim something, do not half-ass it.

    • k8 says:

      Not if you use an apostrophe?

    • Beth says:

      No, I don’t believe CONJUNCTIONS are considered bad grammar. The words and, but, or, etc. are actually required for good grammar. CONTRACTIONS, however aren’t considered proper English and should never be used in formal writing. That is not to say that they should not be used at all. Contractions and other conventions of online communication make things easier, as long as they are used correctly and clarity takes precedent. Using u instead of you, leaving out occasional punctuation and capitalization, etc. make non-verbal communication faster, but only as long as it doen’t take ten minutes to translate once it has been posted or sent.

      • That Guy says:

        You’re absolutely correct about appropriate use of contractions. Notice how I’m being informal. Just one thing:

        “[...] and clarity takes precedent.” -Shouldn’t that be precedence? This is an honest question, by the way.

      • qwerty says:

        “That is not to say that they should not be used at all.” double negative ftw. amidoingitright?

    • disturbedmonkey says:

      note the “conjunction” in your sentence… FAIL!

  27. Phil says:

    Ok, clearly the greater fail can be found in the comments section.

    • waffle says:

      You mean in THIS comments section, as the original burn was in AN OTHER comments section (note that there is supposed to be a space in “an other”, but it is rarely written as such in the present day). You fail at unambiguity. :P

  28. quirt says:

    If someone says they think “something” can the stuff in the quotes be considered misspelling since they are thinking? You can’t misspell thoughts or spoken words, they are ethereal.

  29. Chach says:

    SAD.
    These are people half way across the world from you, yet everyone still feels the need to argue senselessly about a simple grammar mistake.

    EPIC FAIL.

    (”’( (‘._.’) )”’) <—–Failzilla

  30. Kate says:

    You fail.
    I fail.
    We all fail! Huzzah!

  31. Muffles says:

    I get the feeling everyone here is trying to make a burn that will win next week’s contest. So far, they’re all failing.

    • That Guy says:

      This is just like any other thread on here. I’m sorry to tell you, but you’re exactly as retarded as the rest of us for having made that superfluous comment. Welcome home.

  32. Mina says:

    I hate it when arguing over the internet turns into attacks on each others spelling. Its old.

  33. jordanwb says:

    Lol I was trying to reply to the last reply in the winner. Fail on my part.

  34. 55555 says:

    I WIN!

  35. Advent-Omega says:

    I’ll give anyone that knows the correct meaning of my name, a cookie.

    Post Scriptum: The comments for the fail are much more humorous than the actual fails.

  36. Rob says:

    Wow … The supposed “burns” of the week are a couple of nit-picky Grammar Nazis bickering about homophones? What about the Neo-Nazi comment using “Jewtube” as a degrading remark? Is nobody allowed to correct an egregiously out-of-line comment like that unless they have perfect grammar? Get your priorities straight, people …

  37. YourLastNightmare says:

    Advent = coming
    Omega = End
    Coming End is the meaning of your name. It isn’t that hard if you can speak Latin and Greek! :P
    Where is my cookie?

  38. TTF says:

    Grammar Nazis?
    *yawn*
    Trolls can graduate High School.
    Trolls that got a degree aren’t very different.
    Trolls that believe in National Socialism are just more of the same.

  39. Feezus says:

    MR. PORKTOWN WENT TO YORKTOWN AND HE ATE SOME CHEESE-AND-CORN-TOWN!

  40. Feezus says:

    Feezus ate your cookie. Feezus likes to speak in 3rd person.

  41. Sammie says:

    Wow. I’m entertained to see this here. And so honored! *wipes away tears of gratitude*

  42. Sonechka says:

    Jewtube? Think of that one yourself, shmuck? I’m a Jew and not happy about it.

  43. Buck Shot Earl says:

    HAHA!!! best post eveR

  44. Anonymousjew says:

    Quote – “I hate people who bastardize the English language… such as Americans!”

    agreed.

  45. !!! says:

    Grammar burns aren’t funny anymore.

    • Gummibear says:

      That’s crazy talk.

    • country grammar says:

      jews suck. . .there, i said it. Just an anonymous prick hating on somebody, and you’re going to let it ruin you’re day? this whole site is about laughing at someone’s misfortune, so who gives a shit about some racist idiot. Move on, and don’t give it a second thought.

      Where is Dark?

  46. Nikki says:

    Okay, Jews are not a race. You are defining race as a group of people that intermarry with each each other to the point where physical traits become characteristic of the group as a whole, which is quite broad. If that were true, and you were including Jews in this assumption, then you could likely apply this to any group of people, Scandinavians, Greeks, Koreans. Are you seriously trying to assert that just because members of an in-group look alike that you can assign them their own race? Jews, if they are are European, are Caucasian, and if you want to get technical, Middle Easterners are also Caucasian. The term Caucasian means from the Caucasus Mountains, which are located in Southwestern Russia (Chechnya), Georgia, Armenia and Azerbaijan, the area between the Caspian and Black Seas. Most of the European and Middle Eastern peoples originated from this area, and are thus considered Caucasian. Traditionally, the term Caucasian refers to typically light or paled skinned people. Anthropology includes Europeans, Middle Easterners, and people from northern Africa (like Egypt), Western Asia (Afganistan, Mongolia) and even India. Of course, our culture today only associates people of Europeans decent to be Caucasian. Judaism is a religion, not an ethnicity. Certainly you do not have to be of Jewish decent to practice the Judaic religion, just the same as those who are of Jewish lineage could practice any other religion. Ethnicity is based on two criteria. First is culture; they share the same language, food, laws, and yes even religious practices, as they pertain to lifestyle, like the Gypsies. They can also be defined by where they live, like the Bengali people of Bangladesh, the Maoris of New Zealand, or the Quebecios, the French-speaking peoples of Quebec. Jews, as a people not a religion, are a sub group of the major race. Since there are Africans, Asians and Latinos who practice Judaism, it is a religion. Being of Jewish decent counts as ethnicity. If you don’t believe me, look it up for yourself.

    • MrDan says:

      Yeah. But… they’re Jews !

    • waffle says:

      This was argued further up in the stack of comments. Look for it. Racism also counts for ethnicity as well as race, as it is generally accepted that ethnicity and race are close enough that they are interchangeable in certain situations. Antisemitism is racism.
      Plus the mislabeling of races is common practice; take the “American Indians”, for example.

      • david says:

        you fail for being the only one who read that wall of text.

        • 3ntropy says:

          aptly named – wall of text, indeed. let’s avoid those.

          • Dakker says:

            why avoid them? they edumacated me sooo much that my realizations have been changed all thanks to some dude who could have been writing a college dissertation or soemthign more useful instead of a f*cking post that no one cares about and will only be mocked, as it should be.
            But their mom thinks they’re a genius, so …win??

        • Some moron says:

          I also read it. You fail.

      • aenea says:

        haha i asked. they -like- being called that now. apparently it’s better than “native americans.” *shrug*

    • Romani says:

      Note that that is the biological definition of race. Yes, technically your examples would (and, biologically-speaking, should) qualify as a race, but humans are special and use the term “race” differently, definitions vary by culture, most racial definitions today are really a matter of personal preference, whatever.

      You’re right; “Caucasian” is way too broad a term. However, since the original Caucasian population to which the term refers were supposedly unusually pale, the term “Caucasian” as it is used today is meant to refer to someone with very pale skin, like the original Caucasians.

      Also, if you are going to talk about being sensitive about Judaism being a religion and how we must be clear that “being of Jewish decent,” not
      being Jewish,” is what counts as an ethnicity, I suggest you not use racial slurs in your post.

      • MrDan says:

        Yeah… but they are STILL Jews !

      • i can has a shoooooopuff? says:

        well i agree with most of the things you said but why are humans so special? we didnt really do anything spectacular. well except for..you know…kill nature for the time being. either way nature was truly responsible for making us the way we are. you know, the whole evolution thingy (this doesn’t mean im going against any religion or anything). but either way it could have been a different species that evolved into the dominant species but we got lucky:)

      • Lord_Farin says:

        You type this much to FAIL at spelling ‘descent’ correctly?

  47. jen says:

    Sorry I missed the point the first time. Didn’t think those first comments were any funnier than the other lame crap people respond with here and elsewhere on “first”-y boards.

  48. Erin says:

    You guys are pretty funny. Someone types “Jewtube” to get a rise and it works. Someone else corrects grammar and all the sudden all of you are attempting to one up each other as if in a sophamore English class. All of you do that I feel the need to comment myself. I thing we all need to go outside, go for a jog, have a beer and sit in the sunshine. Please hold the pollution, alcoholic and skin cancer remarks ;)

    • waffle says:

      “Reaction” not “rise”; “sophomore” not “sophamore”; “think” not “thing”;
      “All of you do that I feel the need to comment myself.” <???? “After all this I feel the need to comment too.”
      “Please hold the pollution, alcoholic and skin cancer remarks” “Please refrain from any remarks about pollution, alcoholism, and skin cancer.”

  49. 999 says:

    omgstfubbq

  50. Rowangrey says:

    Concept fail. What’s the point of this?

  51. Omega says:

    ( -.-) Ascii Boy don’t like this

  52. IamVeryFirsty says:

    Oh…yes…First to be LAST….

  53. rmctaggart says:

    Oh man, the grammar one is so good.

  54. Andrew says:

    Narp.

  55. 3ntropy says:

    keep your replies to a maximum of 4 lines.

  56. HahaMama says:

    Who learned you how to spoke? XD

  57. diddly says:

    Is “jewtube” a play on words referring to the highly popular internet website, youtube?

    • MrDan says:

      Naaah, it’s a brand of kosher toothpaste.

      • BuHNNee says:

        kinky

        • MrDan says:

          [ThisIsHumorIfYouDon'tLikeItIgnoreIt]

          Correction : Kiky

          [/ThisIsHumorIfYouDon'tLikeItIgnoreIt]

          • Ignoring Your Command to Ignore says:

            I will ignore the absurd grammar discussion, but not your framing of an offensive comment with a “humor” disclaimer. If you knew it would be offensive (as it clearly is), I’m not sure why you wrote it. There’s a reason people don’t like religious and racial slurs: they connote discrimination, mistreatment, and ignorance. Humor is a pretty flimsy excuse for that.

            Because I’m sure someone will try to discredit my response by making statements about my religious identity, I’ll state that I’m not a member of the Jewish faith.

      • WTF-mouse says:

        Epic Win

        • Some moron says:

          I don’t think humor is ever a flimsy excuse for anything. Taking things to/too/two seriously leads to things like Auschwitz and the pedantic, inane drivel that has filled this page and my room with laughter. I feel we should laugh about people who look different or call God by another name, because if we don’t, we end up hating them. Just laugh people!

          Some moron for President

  58. Stever says:

    This is the most amazing thread of comments I have ever read.

  59. Sam says:

    pop culture fail.

  60. minishaw says:

    yay im in something again woot =\

  61. 4ndyman says:

    A) The grammar/usage-specific “law” is “Muphry’s Law,” not “Murphy’s Law.” It’s meant to be recursive.
    B) “Ritard” is an Italian musical term meaning “slow down.” Maybe Grammar a-hole was just asking you to slow down and think before you comment?
    C) Tweet the Fail Mail’s diatribe on punctuation is the most common American style, but it certainly isn’t the only style. They do things differently in Great Britain, for example.
    D) A Semite is someone who is descended from Shem. It technically refers to practically anyone from the Middle East, including most Muslims. The narrowing of the term “anti-Semitism” to refer specifically to Jews (both ethnic and religious) was an outgrowth of the Holocaust.
    E) Spelling has nothing to do with grammar. Read Huck Finn. Read Flowers for Algernon. Read A Clockwork Orange.

    Seriously, if you guys would read more than just blogs and blog comments, you might actually find that you have something interesting to say.

    And there’s nothing wrong with starting a sentence with a conjunction. All of the English-speaking world’s greatest writers have done it. And guess what?! It’s okay to wantonly split an infinitive! And a preposition really is a word you can end a sentence with!

    • ND4life says:

      That’s what I was gonna say.

    • EdM. says:

      Win, sir. Except that “ritard” is not Italian for anything. It is a colloquial (and sometimes formal) abbreviation of ritardando, meaning “slowing down,” not “slow down.” Content win. Grammar win. Italian fail. Musical fail.

      • Teh Brettster says:

        ^ EdM wins.
        Take it from the music major.

        And yes, spelling has much to do with grammar.
        I’m sorry you think we can misspell anything we so dearly please to misspell and still call ourselves perfect grammarians because a great author once took a bit of artistic license to give people in the story a characteristic dialect. Fitting in letters for the reader’s understanding of how characters talk is not the same as just misspelling words anywhere and everywhere in the story.
        You lose. You get nothing. Good day, sir.

    • Jevanyn says:

      “Seriously, if you guys would read more than just blogs and blog comments, you might actually find that you have something interesting to say.”

      If you do, and you come across some actual correct English usage along the way, try not to break it, alright?

      Somewhere, e. e. cummings is laughing at us.

  62. Anonymousjew says:

    I think I speak for the most of us… who cares?

    • CardinalSmurf says:

      Normally I would agree with you. However, if the people you speak of have read this far down the thread it’s fair to say they seem to care about something. Would you agree? Or perhaps the length of this thread merely reflects the general level of office boredom running rampant throughout modern western civilization.

      OK, you’re right. Who cares?

      • SPACIOUSNESS says:

        well im not at an office, im infront of my tv and just cant be asked to do nothing while the adverts are on. bbut still i agree. nobody cares.

  63. sammidge says:

    Ah, this is just great. Pedantic discourse on grammar is the perfect antidote to the freestyle spelling and syntax on the Icanhascheezburger comments page. Or perhaps it’s the other way round?

    Icanhascheezburger vs Failblog… It’s the yin and yang of the internet

  64. shoooosh says:

    I have a headache.

  65. Jellybean says:

    Haha, you guys, girls, are really funny to read! Thanks for the laugh. ^_^

  66. BRR says:

    WORDS ARE GOOD?

  67. Tonnina says:

    Jeez, who would’ve thought so much talk about bad or good grammar would come from a site that encourages bad english? (lolcats!)

  68. Tarivus says:

    FIRST!

  69. Sly Cooper says:

    Are all of you American or something?

  70. Jepoy says:

    fail!

  71. MP says:

    FAIL Blog gets lamer each day.

  72. joojifz says:

    I’m at the bottom woo hoo!!!

  73. suti says:

    dudezzz

    u r all americanzzzz hahahah a … dats wat makex uz all dummmmmm

  74. anonyman says:

    first, next is gay!

  75. Gay says:

    There are so many spelling errors in these comments i’m starting to suspect moderators of mucking about to keep the discussion going. Then laughing in a sneaky manner at those idiot causing the comment numbers to grow exponentially and making failblog look popular.

  76. teach says:

    it’s a shame when people can’t construct a sentence or paragraph in a public forum without using profanity to get their point across.

  77. myself621 says:

    I can’t believe I just read all of that.

  78. Just Wondering says:

    Hmmm, I wonder if I can post my homework on this website, so that I don’t have to check the grammar myself?
    Though, I must admit, this website is far more interesting than English class!

  79. An-omaly says:

    Spending fifteen minutes to read this list of comments is an epic fail. I could’ve invented a flying car by now but instead I’m sitting at my desk cruising the internet everyday reading fail comments. I take it all back, that’s actually a culture fail.

  80. RiddleMeThis says:

    “Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.” Is this sentence correct?

  81. Grammar Nazi says:

    That would be “pocketknives”.

    • Morii says:

      What spelling correction number would that be? Oh, yes. About your “5-I’m an ass-0th” correction. Now, run along, Meg, run along.

  82. Hister says:

    I don’t know how I read through to the end, probably cause I’m high, I suggest you all go and smoke too.

    I fail therefore I am.

  83. jeremiah says:

    Just trying to correct one post for spelling and grammar.

    YOU ALL FAIL!!!!!!

  84. Jordan says:

    tl;dr

  85. I want my hour back says:

    I would like the hour of my life that it took to read this thread back please :)

  86. Spraynorth says:

    Fail.

  87. bethany says:

    i cannot believe i read every single one of those comments.
    great way to spend my time.

    • ruff says:

      indeed a great way to spend time, but fortunately i woke up half-way and thought i’ll comment and they go outside to enjoy the sunshine.
      Have Fun (i’ll hope this doesn’t get the discusion going again since i’m not a native english speaker)!

  88. stevethebird says:

    ooh! a piece of candy!

  89. stevethebird says:

    comment fail… :(

  90. TECH IDEA says:

    hay! how to read? scroll bar fails ;-)

  91. You says:

    I’m a shaaaark!
    I’m a SHAAARK!!
    Suck my diiiiiiick!!
    I’M A SHAAAARK!!!!

  92. Snax says:

    Wow. Mutually assured destruction IS possible.

  93. schmoe says:

    lolercopter

  94. LH:] says:

    START A NEW COMMENT.
    Keep away from the Reply link.
    There’s too many lines at the side :)

  95. AngryAtBerk says:

    Time well spent FAIL

  96. Michelle says:

    Holy Burn,

    Of course it matters what kind of crappy grammar that someone uses. I am not saying that we should turn into Spelling Bee Champions or anything, but I would really hate to see where the lack of grammar ends. Oh! I know. It’s when fools type sh#t out like this…

    hai guis! wut it b doin. words OMGLMAOWTFHAHA FUK DIS SHYT

  97. moo says:

    ok newbs if yew dont know ho wto spell stuff den you shou not be on da interweb

  98. That Guy Behind His Wii says:

    I’m just loving the fact that everyone before and undoubtingly after me just proved Gobby Bee’s point.
    Best hour of my life reading this random crap.
    Huzzah for keyboard heroes!

  99. Craig says:

    I’m an England student, I learn good England. You all Fail.

  100. o_o says:

    8′D
    Grammar suddenly turns fascinating when people fight about it.

  101. helix says:

    You all realize this grammar thing has been going on for way too long, don’t you?

    • Grawrlike says:

      I’m R BABOON and I’m R speak good keyboard! HARRR! I’m HARR life and U HARRN’T one!!! I R win >_>

      @o_o

      +1

      • Nobody says:

        “I R BABOON” not “I’m R BABOON”. Man I never even sceen the cartoon your quoting, just advertisements like 2 years ago and I know thats wrong!

        Failed Grammer Fail!

    • Nobody says:

      Grammer and spelling are just too easy to nitpick. Since its so easy to nitpick lower life forms are quick to pick up on them. Once lower life forms pick up on an easy target the cling to it tanaciously. There in lays the problem… Just factor in that once a lower life form discovers easy prey they settle in and breed more. Before long were the last air breathers… *Taps plays on a bugal in the distance*

  102. Monty says:

    Someone must have hit you over the head with that “good keyboard.”
    And a word of advice: Don’t say any of what you were trying to verbalize in the presence of daylight; you sound like a drunk PedoBear.

  103. Takass says:

    I LOVE EVERYBODY HERE, LAWZORZ :)

  104. Uhms says:

    Re: This whole topic.

    tl;dr.

    -End

  105. bucky says:

    wel basically ppl try to one up on another on insults. i’lll help i don mind bein insulted too much. so here goes….ur momma so old,wen God said let there be light, she flicked the switch

  106. Simpson says:

    Wow, you people are shot out.

  107. 1morefortheroad says:

    I can’t believe this all started from the “jewtube” comment. When quite clearly all those in the know, know this a sex practice of a global religeous minority a toilet roll and any small furry rodent that it will accomidate!

    And please don’t F**k with my grammer as tyou can clearly see its already F**ked!!

    And YES i HAVE BEEN DRINKING….

  108. †dogger says:

    how cool r we?

  109. Mystefire says:

    Well, it was difficult. It was arduous. But, yes, I made it to the bottom of the page. Woot! Who woulda known that there’d be so many grammar sticklers on this website.
    I say…. we’re all winners. If we believe in ourselves. *goes off to play in the sprinklers*

  110. |55555| says:

    My claim to internet fame.

  111. DARULERZ says:

    I ARZ RULERZ OF DA WORLDZ

  112. UNKNOWN says:

    THIS IS WHY SOMEDAY THE WORLD WILL DIE!

    By the way, I just realized that this wasn’t part of the contest… so congratulations to all of the brilliant geniuses who decided to fight with bad-grammar-losers that have nothing else to do besides sit in front of a computer all day and decide to comment about RANDOM grammar corrections or usage and…

    Oh wait! I forgot! THERE ARE NO GENIUSES BECAUSE WE (yes, we ALL) ARE SITTING IN FRONT OF A COMPUTER READING THE STUPIDEST SITE ON THE INTERNET! (No offense to failblog, but it is silly.) SO CONGRATS TO THE WORLD! THIS IS WHY YOU FAIL!

  113. Brittany says:

    I wonder if these people are as mean in their everyday encounters as they are in their comments?

  114. Steff says:

    Brittany, This movie clip will answer your…statement question thingy. whatever you want to call it.

    http://www.younggogetter.com/2007/08/17/what-if-you-spoke-like-you-commented/

  115. Bunbunr says:

    What is a jew anyway?

  116. Germ says:

    For many years I wondered why the the world is the way it is…why no one ever fixes it.

    Then I read this.

    Oh well, at least we’ll all die laughing.

  117. B says:

    just an idea for 2 bumper-stickers or t-shirts

    1 – All your Fail our belong two the failblog comment sextion

    2 – If Ju can Rede tihs mabee ju spant two mush tyme on teh internest

  118. xtremely bored person says:

    cant believe i just read all of these comments….. :(

  119. lumi says:

    ffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

  120. LOL says:

    LOL. nuff said

  121. Happeh Hippeh says:

    I’m so adjective I verb nouns!

  122. Tomba says:

    I have achieved enlightenment.

    It’s called dyslexia.

    I’m going to play frisbee.

  123. The one who is right, all the time. says:

    The most talked language on the internet isn’t English.
    And to be very honest, as long as they have not made a huge error it should not matter.

  124. Zigby says:

    XD

    I love how every single person up to this comment proved the point of the one called Gobby Bee.

    P.S. What is with all the people saying it took them an hour to read to the bottom of the page? It only took me maybe 30 minutes. Does this mean that those who took so long to read the comments fail at reading?

  125. Some moron says:

    This was very entertaining. I’m pretty immature, but that has it’s advantages. Everyone who acts their age wasted their time. I have a cramp from laughing. Totally worth it.

  126. FedUp says:

    I read the first 6 comments, realized that you hipocrits were bickering about who’s better at spelling, grammar and crap, then came to the bottom of the page to post this: Who gives a sh*t about how you spell? You get the message, that’s all it matters. Why don’t you people do something better than criticise others’ flaws, get a job or something. Maybe certain person had a tough life growing up with alcoholic dad and coke addict mom and couldn’t eat unless they worked at a gas station, so school was not their priority. Soldiers getting blown up and you LOSERS are concerned about who’s better at SPELLING. Get a life.

    • CD says:

      Your right, everyone who is arguing about grammar should stop doing that and go end the war. C’mon guys, let’s GO!
      Just because you don’t like intellectual conversations doesn’t mean others can’t. Seeing as I go to high school, I don’t get to have one very often. That also explains why I don’t go out and get a job.
      Not to mention that grammar and spelling is important. For example, in your post you say “that’s all it matters”. What the heck is that supposed to mean. Did you forget a comma, and you meant “that’s all, it matters.”? Or did you mean “that’s all that matters.”?
      You seem to think that we go and talk about grammar on the internet full time or something. It’s fun to have an argument about in my spare time. I don’t know what you like to do in your spare time, maybe drink and beer and lie on the couch? Sound like a good, healthy time.
      See where making assumptions gets us?

    • Georgie says:

      You missed the question mark after “flaws”. Not that it matters or anything.

  127. Watcher says:

    Wow.

    That is all.

  128. Zhani says:

    You go to FAILBLOG for intellectual conversation?

  129. NIK says:

    WOW…shut up! All of you guys are being so critical about grammar, spelling, etc.

  130. Dude says:

    I swear to god I thought goats could swim better than that.

  131. Pwaned says:

    I can’t believe I read all of that, I just wasted 10 minutes.

    -.-

  132. Forts says:

    Aren’t comments supposed to be about the original blog post?

  133. MFell says:

    this is THE DUMBEST conversation i have ever heard!!

  134. Russell says:

    Holy Crap!

    I got a long distance down this blog before I realized it was an actual blog, as opposed to a posting of epic burns. I was waiting for the “Epic Burn” to silence the idiots, but all I got were more idiots.
    Yes, I am fully aware of the irony of my own post, but let me respond ahead of time by saying,
    ‘THE NEXT PERSON TO POST IS A CHILD-MOLESTER!’

  135. RandomGamer says:

    Epicly long grammar fight ftw!

  136. Darkst says:

    what was this post about?

  137. sam says:

    wowiddint no any1carrred ssomuch but :grammer?….
    lol jk :D ……..nerds i try to read fail blog and this ends up being like 30pages long cuz some fatfk wouldnt shut the hell up XD

  138. This has got to be the greatest gathering of inbred Internet Trolls EVER!!!

    I mean, personally, I feel deeply honored to have witnessed this. Just look at the date of the first post ITT – TWO YEARS AGO!

    This will surely go down in intertubes history as the “Woodstock of Grammar Nazis.”

    Good Fail, guys. Fail on.

  139. nemesis2humanity says:

    I just want to say one thing about all of that. Put down the Cheetos and go do something with your life besides act like my girlfriends douche

    • GrammarHitler says:

      By saying that you yourself prove that you are the one eating the Cheetos.

      Oh, and by the way, you left off a period.
      Yes, I just went there.

  140. Johnny says:

    last comment ever… by the way the real failure was absolutely the editors of burn of the week who truly FAIL! everyone is a gay jew may seem offensive… how come no gay jews have commented against me? cuz they r not really that offended………………..

  141. zogs says:

    burn of the week goes to hemoroids!


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