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Cheezburger Network Blog
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Cheezburger Network Blog
first or second or third
yay FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST
FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST FIRST
wow your are reject
wow your are reject
FAIL
You are or You’re not Your are.
Thanks detective, I was completely serious and in no way whatsoever copying the above post to point out his error.
Lol, pwnt
LMAO. Made me giggle.
Lets try spelling correct english. It’s, “you’re” as in you are not, “your” as in ownership
Let’S (as in let us) try spelling…
lol
sorroy i had to much caffine\coke\pot\ other drugs
wow your are reject
Brokebathroom Mountain
don’t cross the beams
aauhauhahua, nice one….
Brokeback Bathroom, perhaps…?
guess some guys dont mind the lack of privacy…
Some guys don’t like privacy…
…some guys just want to have fun
Hey now, if you’re gonna be using my name, at least don’t be a dillweed.
i had no intenion of using your name
plus you are just jellus that i was the first firster with so many firsts in 1 comment
Actually, it just makes you look like a retarded spammer. Plus, “jellus”? Did someone skip first grade?
not me, you are a 14 year old kid who thinks its cool to tell his friends he does drugs but really the closest he’s ever come is tylenol. I know kids like that.
Wow, taking comments too seriously fail.
yes that sounds like my bro
Where the hell is this “bend over” guy when you need him -.-
Bend over and I will show you the bend over guy.
LAWL PWNT!
how many times did you press the paste button …. you must have a really sore finger
Um, FYI you can hold the button down.
short comment fail
Why does the failblog people keep bringing back old Fails?
I would imagine it has something to do with the 30 million people a week that come here that have never seen FB before. That or they are stupid. Or possibly just to piss you off.
The world may never know.
I would use both of them to avoid anyone trying to get the other
perfect for conjoined twins
Total fail %)
rofl gayyyyyy
i seen a pub toilet like this once.
would be very uncomfortable to stand there lol
also first
I need that when I’m drunk!
FIRST!
I think this bathroom was designed for gays in mind?
that’s what I thought when I saw it, lol
Yeah because that TOTALLY makes sense. *eyeroll* Stereotype fail.
Do you mean * very effeminate eyeroll*?
Do you know what gay horses eat? HHAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY!
Hahahahaaaa
(That wasn’t sarcastic)
(No seriously, it wasn’t)
Hey was that sarcastic?
I guess it could also be designed for guys that like to look at other guys dicks.
Although the urinals are clearly too close for comfort, it seems to me it would be harder to see someone else’s junk with this configuration than if they were side by side…?
Spacial Intelligence Fail!
WHERE ARE YOU, GASMAN?!?!?!?
This isn’t a FAIL.
It’s FTW in Senator Craig’s office!
ROTFL yeah!!!
Because two gay men can stand in the same exact place.
No, no, this is a special space for men with two penises.
.
Very popular with the ladies, I imagine. (The men, not the urinals.)
well obviously the urinals are for either 1. aliens. or 2 Siamese twins(or what ever conjoined or something)
and the game
well… they can try.
Even gay men cannot violate Pauli’s Exclusion Principle. FAIL.
uh not every gay person wants to touch some random dudes ass.
this is why you just go to a stall, and avoid the creepy public urine sharing to begin with. and guys complain about girls going to bathrooms in groups, at least we don’t pee in wall troffs flashing our junk.
Actually, it’s a rather large faux pas to exhibit one’s junk while using the urinal, and there is usually a lot of effort spent to conceal. Great care is also taken to avert one’s eyes from those using urinals next to you, lest the others get the wrong idea. The urinal, while certainly not the most private of bathroom fixtures, cannot be doubted for its efficiency.
It is because of this, perhaps, that the aforementioned groups of girls take so much longer in the bathroom than the males do.
appolgies for spoiling the mystery but (although girls will never say why they go in groups but this is a theory off a friend so bear with me) girls go to the toilet in groups so they can help each other with their makeup
no, according to muhammad the camel guy, girls are in there checking
each other boobs for lumps… (see his comment further down)
lol Your friend’s theory is fail. Girls go to the bathroom in pairs (or groups) to talk. That and tonnes of girls don’t wear makeup. Like me. Because makeup feels gross on your face. Or at least it does to me.
wow alot of big words and not a single typo O_o u shuld b a collage profesur
Or guys with 2 d!cks like me. Double the action. awwwwwww yea.
a man with two dicks could easily be involved in a fivesome
Ok, now that we’ve smoked out the “First!” retard, who is up on deck? How about a comment on Soviet Russia? Bending over? Anyone? Buehler?
In Soviet Russia, first bends you over.
in soviet russian stfu ftsu you
In Soviet Russia, when you bend over, you are peed on.
don’t drop the soap when in Russia either
In Soviet Russia, vodka give man 2 penis. Also Soviet Russia urinal pee on you.
Pissing match, anyone?
sword fight!
I’ll get my lightsaber ready!
I see your schwartz is as big as mine…
Now let’s see how you handle it…
second or third or forth
epic fail
This would come in handy for those pesky “split streams”. Guys will know what I’m talking about.
win
Win
I don’t EVEN want to know…
Well since you asked, sometimes semen dries up in the hole so the pee gets split into 2 different streams going 2 different directions.
geez… that explains ALOT. I could never figure out why men’s bathrooms are so nasty… now I know. You guys LITERALLY can’t aim. Now the only thing I’m wondering is how you manage to write your names in the snow but why you can’t hit the bowl…
We CAN aim. Sometimes we just have to choose WHICH stream to aim. Other times…. we just don’t care.
If I throw a cheerio in the toilet will that help?? I mean, it gives you a goal, right? You can make it a game.
Make it a Honey Nut Cheerio and you’ve got a deal.
*grabs cheerios*
Sometimes I take showers when I don’t even need to just to boost my accuracy rating.
*facepalm*
It’s very hard to miss the snow, and the writing all happens relative to the initial point.
My dearest Ms. Pop,
I had a lifeguard job as a teen that included cleaning restrooms. The gal’s bathorooms were always much more a mess.
Well, to be fair, it’s _much_ harder for women to aim…
Same here… there’s always more toilet paper strewn about in the ladies’ room, but the men are the ones who sometimes leave their impressive dump in the bowl for the next person to admire… girls don’t seem to do that.
But men don’t leave used “sanitary products” everywhere. When I had to clean bathrooms, I would handle the worst of the men’s rooms with a mop and my impressive flush-lever-kick technique, but the women’s rooms, I’d want a HAZMAT team standing by…
the stream is easy to get in the bowl, but there’s nothing one can do to avoid th e splash
This is such a win
tru dat. win.
don’t cross the streams.
In Soviet Russia bathroom designs you!
Photoshopped!
4!
For the multi-talented. Or multi-endowed.
Finally a bathroom that suits my needs! I can’t even begin to tell you how hard it is to aim both of them at the same target.
I can work it when the two urinals are right up against one another, but this arrangement gives me the privacy I need.
Not fail, Siamese toilets!
That’s what I was thinking… but then thinking about it made my brain hurt and I had to go find brain bleach. GAH.
Marsupial toilets.
“Most marsupials have a bifurcated penis.” Although red and grey kangaroos, typically have a single tip, as is more than amply illustrated at the following website (you really don’t want this much information …)
http://www.furry.org.au/kangaroos/breeding/male-genitalia.html
damn my curiosity… now I feel sick to my stomach.
well, it made me think about 2 forms of extreme male body modification, genital
bisection, which is exactly what you think it is, and subincision, which may even
be more horrific and nausea inducing.
geez, and I thought split tongues sounded painful.
people do lots of stuff to their genitals
This (when properly removed from context) is the greatest comment ever amde.
A prince-albert piercing will sometimes make two streams. One that aims fairly straight, and another pesky leaker out of the piercing at about a 70 degree angle.
TMI…Please don’t tell us how or why you know this. We’ll just take your word for it.
To opt out of the complimentary Too Much Information service, please press the marsupial … twice.
FYTMI (for your too much information):
The popular exotic pets, sugar gliders, are marsupials (scroll all the way down).
http://www.isga.org/informationcenter/HealthIssues/anatomicalbreakdown1.htm
lol It looks like a fork. A barbecue fork. ‘Cause a dinner fork would just be excessive. Wow, irony.
Oh. MAN is that UGLY! Wish I hadn’t looked.
Makes you see Skippy in a whole new light
This is not a fail it is a facility for Siamese twins win.
Nice to see they are finally making bathrooms for male siamese twins joined at the hip.
fail at reading the comment above you. YOU ARE SECOND RATE!
probably not they were only posted two minutes apart, maybe when they were typing it the comment was not yet posted
What about the ones joined at the pen!s? Ba-ZING
I get “stage fright” just looking at this.
Stage Fright = Urination Fail?
What I’m wondering is HOW on EARTH the plumbers didn’t notice that…..
Senator Craig was leering at the plumbers.
The designer was one of the ‘brown sky brigade’ and the journeyman plumber didn’t care enough to point out the problem.
I’ve seen this photo very recently. Wasn’t it on this site like just two weeks ago? Maybe somewhere else…
Or maybe you looked at the “vote” area of the site and saw this before it was approved. Memory Fail.
Never had a little piece of dirt, or sperm rest make you pee split in two?
That what this is for.
Never had a dirty enough Johnson for such an accident. Soap and water, people! And regular checkups.
Stray hair.
GAH! I said I didn’t wanna know..!!!!!
Some things can’t be unread, Dragonwriter. I’m assuming you’re female. Females probably experience this too, but given the difference in how the sexes traditionally relieve themselves, you’ve probably never noticed. (Bet you’ll look next time).
Don’t think I will….some things are better left a mystery. This is undoubtedly one of them.
Amen, Sammie…amen.
DoodleyDoo…”and regular checkups?” Do what? I pay my doctor enough already. I’m not forking up $50 to have him look up my wiener hole with a flashlight every month.
Or, did you mean like women friends who check each other’s boobs for lumps. I can just see that conversation now.
“Hey Abdul, come here for a minute.” “Sure thing Muhammad…what’s with the pen light hanging out of your zipper?” “Abdul, I’m glad you asked that.”
“Or, did you mean like women friends who check each other’s boobs for lumps.”
is that what your girlfriend told you was happening when you walked in on her
and her “special boob lump checking friend” ?
Ummmmm…I have never once in my whole life EVER asked a female friend to check my breasts for lumps.
It’s never even occurred to me to do that. If I felt something myself I might ask my guy to check it out, see what he thinks, but….no. Not my women friends.
Gawd. I’m just imagining the look on my friend’s face if I’d ask her to do that…HAR!
You’re in luck Dragonwriter. It just so happens that I am an expert on human female breasts. Due to having no girlfriend (or life), I’ve spent the last several years looking at breasts on the internet for many hours every day. I’m starting up a new charity. I’m calling it Muhammad’s Free Over The Internet Breast Cancer Finding Service. MFOTIBCFS for short. Simply email me a picture of your “chesticals,” give me 3 to 5 minutes, and I’ll email you back if I think you’ve got a problem.
You can thank me later. Hurry up and grab a digital camera. You’re health could be in danger!!
Nice try WIN!
…actual results, faaaaaaaaaaaail. :p
XD
Then you don’t know what you’re missing! ;D
my friends dont check me so shut up
A split urine stream is can also be one diagnostic sign of a potential kidney stone, along with blood and pain.
Got so excited I forgot my grammar. (Is can also be all your base is belong, etc.).
i don’t thinck many people worry about grammmar on the internet they just like to be nitpickey when other people get it wrong
And the sad part is, they’ll probably still miss…….
We have a worse pub toilet here at our town hall – if you take the first urinal on the right, the next guy who comes in will totally hit your lower end with the door knob and push yourself in your own pee.
that would make me really pissed.
If you’re not already pissed. So to speak.
A bit too close for my comfort
Agreed. I prefer to void my bladder without snuggling some other dude.
Looks like a cleaner version of the bathrooms in the Grog Shop, a local pub here in Cleveland.
So wait, you mean the rest of you don’t have two penises? This arrangement makes perfect sense to me.
I didn’t know sharks could type.
Ha! Nice one, Uthred.
The only reason to have two penises is if the first one is FAIL.
I can think of way more reasons.
Anal rape performed by pirates doesn’t count.
I thought I was the only one with two penises! I call one Jose and the other one Hose’B’.
I used to work with a guy named Jose. His son was a Jose Jr. He came in one day grinning and told me to call his home phone number and listen to the new recording his wife had put on their home answering machine. It said, “You’ve reached the [Lastname] residence, home of Jose, Hose B, and No-Hose.”
A nurse I worked with in another office said that her mother-in-law had admitted, while drunk, that her husband (so, the nurse’s FIL) had two penises – something diphallus is the medical term, I think. The MIL said everything worked perfectly (not usually the case for people with that condition), and the nurse said she was going to do everything she could to be part of either the autopsy or funeral-preparation team, so she could see for herself.
Back at the first office, a few years later, we had a girl who bragged to everyone that she had two vaginas. Allegedly none of her OB-GYNs noticed this until during her *second* natural childbirth. None of us believed her, but what makes it commentworthy is that she was probably accidentally telling the truth… see, instead of telling us that she had “a septate vagina” – “septate” meaning divided, and the term she wanted – she always got her words mixed up and referred to it, instead, as “a septic vagina.” We all figured that was closer to the truth anyway so we didn’t bother to correct her.
This one time a long time ago ….dialate pupils… vagina…. septic…
You misunderstand the meaning of fail blog. It is not a place for you to come and blog about your fail-full life.
stop or i’ll turn the hose(b) on you
I thought one was for a left-handed guy and one for right-handed
thats for siamese
They were dancing, cheek to cheek
LOL… but now I have to think of the “happy place”.
No need to imagine. Just follow the happy trail.
Cottaging win!
Obviously this bathroom was built in Frogtown.
As questionable as this is, it’s still somewhat better than the huge piss trough filled with ice as seen in some establishments. I feel like I’m making a giant piss-flavored snow cone.
It’s lemon.
This is a photoshop clone tool fail.
Dr. Egon Spengler: There’s something very important I forgot to tell you.
Dr. Peter Venkman: What?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Don’t cross the streams.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Why?
Dr. Egon Spengler: It would be bad.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I’m fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, “bad”?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
Dr Ray Stantz: Total protonic reversal.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Right. That’s bad. Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.
Ghostbusters WIN!
I say.
Siamese Twins Special Urine Care Facilities.
that was made with me in mind… you know how hard it is to point both of mine in one direction? Perfection
obviously one is to pee in, the other to puke in
…To straight guys walked into a bathroom…
you probably meant this for your email cc your mom
Hey guess what? Wouldn’t it be funny if these were for SIAMESE TWINS? rofl
“You never let them touch!!!”
Win for whoever gets this reference.
Ghostbusters; but the streams from the proton packs (Nuclear Reactors!) had to be crossed to prevent the coming of Gozer.
I’ll take Easy 80s Movies for 2000, Alex.
BTW, it’s mentioned above about 6 threads and 6 hours back. FAIL for you Lef.
‘Ghostbusters’ ref, thanks for posting this, TLMAF!
nope. it’s whitest kids you know. meme recognition fail.
its form slow jerk
IM CALLING THE BOSS
peeing fun win
2 penises man win!
I actually have seen a bathroom like this. there was a fat dude using one of the corners
spray prevention WIN.
first, next is gay!
No, you guys don’t understand. This bathroom was specially designed for the guy who played the pilot in Firefly. You know, Alan Tudyk
*rimshot*
Thank you, I’m here all week.
No, you guy don’t understand. This post was specially designed for you, who posted after me. You know, you are gay!
Oh, Tudyk, “Two-dick.” I get it.
um, i don’t quite get this fail. How does the urinal just getting bent make ita fail?
Imagine someone standing at each of those urinals and using them.
This was designed for Siamese twins.
i once met twins that where both born boys, but one dident have a penis, and the other one had 2, so the doctors turned the one with none into a girl, and the other one still has 2, he told me the story, and showed me his penises
never seen penis written in plural before, just curious did you ask him to flash you?
This would be a great way to meet friends haha
Man, I’ve heard of not having a pot to piss in. But I’ve NEVER heard of not knowing WHICH pot to piss in!
Maybe it’s for really drunk people who are seeing double.
designed for those with wicked split-stream
lol this pic was just shown on british tv like 10 mins ago and so was 4 others
somebody please dont say cross the creams, thats to stu-GOD DAMMIT
cheek to cheek action ftl. (ftw if you like it.xP)
aww man i would soo love you go there….mby if im lucky i can c guys cocks
200+ comment in 1 page, my hand felt sleep while scrolling down Dx
ASS. TO. ASS.
Mmmmmmm that’d be funn
Morehouse bathroom design win
for those that are “about to burst”.
its a urinal for Siamese twins.
Siamese win?
finally Siamese twins can use two separate urinals instead of awkwardly sharing one.
Definite win.
lol? :S
it’s designed for men with two dicks
holy moley!
Caffeine makes you more energetic, not retarded.