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Cheezburger Network Blog
loooooooooooooooooooooooool
advice win
Don’t try to fix something that’s not broken.
But if it is broken read some instructions or something.
If it is broken get some Viagra.
Or a pro surgeon/
As opposed to an amateur surgeon?
Yeah, they come from Mexico’s underground.
Wow cause whenever I get a screwdriver my first thought is “let’s go stick this up my dick hole!”
lovely
Well, think about it, the reason they put these kinds of warnings on ANYTHING is because some idiot tried it, and then the company got sued.
Glad I don’t know THAT guy.
Viagra Ice Cream?
Gee, Viagra’s so expensive. Maybe I can just reinforce it from the inside or something. But, hmmm… what can I stick into my peehole that’s small enough to fit, but will be strong? Hey! How about a precision screwdriver!
That’s the thought process that caused that warning, I’m sure.
Darwin would be pissed that they didn’t let these people destroy their penises.
That is disturbingly believable.
seconded
and an amen.
Indeed, people who are that stupid should not be protected against themselves.
Don’t screw it. Drill it back to normal!
… Was that meant to be punny?
“NO BILLY DON’T, THE PACKAGE SAYS NOT TO!!!”
Yay!
Nay!
Yarp!
Plarp!
Narp!
Swarp
…Narp?
Darp!
coach z!
Homestar Win.
Carp.
fart
^ Rhyming fail.
Magi carp
->
magiKARP bitch
my pokemonz bringz all the kidz to the yard…
You know that some idiot had to have done this and sued them in order for that warning to be printed …
… either that or its a photoshop… Regardless, its still funny
epic BeingWrongFail (I agree completely)
Just like on the Simpsons!
“Springfield has come down with a fever. Football
fever, brought on by the biggest game of the year: the Pigskin
Classic between the Shelbyville Sharks and our own Springfield
Atoms. If you have the fever, there’s only one cure; take two
tickets and see the game Sunday morning.
Man: Warning: tickets should not be taken internally.
Homer: See? Because of me, now they have a warning.”
Yeah, the Darwin Awards(I think that’s where I read it) has a whole section on
people who insert things into other things and castrate themselves.
Or they do something really stupid to get killed.
You know, shoving a screwdriver into your own penis sounds like a really painful way to die.
Nah, not photoshopped. I also own a package like this.
A package with screwdrivers in it?
A package like the one that got the warning to be put up?
Actually, it is photoshopped. I owned the same package and it doesn’t say that anywhere.
It is photoshopped. look at the line, it’s slanted and thicker font.
YAY!!!
*Does it*
In what country is this a problem?!
Poland
mwahaha
Woman fail!
Hate to use the word “photo shopped”, however: the line “not to be inserted into penis” is not parallel with the first line. Also this line seems jammed against the circle with illustration. The circle would be spatially balanced if second line were removed. Diagonal line and penis were probably added. Excellent imagination though.
The fonts don’t match either. First line is in Helvetica, and the second line is in Arial.
Typography FAIL.
Avatar fail.
Agreed
LOL!
Wow. Impressive. Font-Nerd Win!
Typeface. Terminology Fail
Can’t we just enjoy a funny pic?
I don’t care if you’re right or not, but come on it was funny.
Why ruin it? :]
Ok, it was funny. I hereby take back my comment, challenging the reality of this package. I sincerely apologize for screwing this funny image up for you. Hope I didn’t mess your day up too bad.
To prove to myself that I am sincere in my apology, I am going to produce some warning labels for all my tools. Some for my hammers: “Warning! Do not smash pecker with this tool.” One for my table saw: “Warning! Do not lower your junk onto spinning blade.” Nail guns: “Warning! Do not fire nails into Frank.” (Sorry, that’s what my lady calls him.) I’ll need a lot of labels.
hahahah…thanks
sarcasm WIN.
“Warning! Do not smash pecker with this tool.”
Bwahaha! May I suggest not smashing your tool with that tool, though?
hmm, weener don’t you find it a little disturbing that your women calls your
package frank?!!?
i mean, that might be her exe’s name O_O
realtionship FAIL!
Username fail….. or “ween”.
That was better than the original picture!
I could see some idiot castrating himself with a spinning blade! I wonder how many people have actually done this?
I always wondered why everyone here insists on going “oh, it can’t be funny if it’s shopped”
because it cant
It can if you don’t have an overly picky sense of humor.
I want authentic FAILs, not 14-year-olds perverting pictures of product packaging into penis/pussy… umm… pranks!
The thing is, while the pic is funny, it isn’t actually a fail. I mean… I guess it’s _implied_ or indirect fail since it would mean some idiot actually did this at some point. But there’s no fail IN the picture. Eh.
alliteration WIN!
You’ve never bought a cheap item before? I’m not sure how much this set may cost, but if it’s very cheap, then the packageing isn’t going to look great. What about all the products “Made in China,” you can’t tell me you’ve seen perfect packageing with everything you’ve ever bought. Cheap packageing has flaws. To me it looks like it’s probably a cheap set. Also, just to throw this out there, I work in Photoshop on a daily basis. I believe it could or couldn’t be real.
“I believe it could or couldn’t be real.”
Tautology Fail.
Ashlee’s a politician.
Isn’t that a tautology win? It is always true that something either is or isn’t real.
Tautology fail/win (depending on if your view was positive or negative) would be ‘I believe this might be real or it might not be photoshopped’ It’s a re-statement of the former opinion (two twins, ATM machine etc)
You’re right, I have the exact same set sitting at my desk. No penis comment,
no crossing out of the circle, and no tip (let’s play JTT with the screwdriver!)
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/15/Jeweler%27s_screwdriver_set.jpg/357px-Jeweler%27s_screwdriver_set.jpg
pwned!
totally photoshopz xD
WE’VE BEEN HAD!
I’m amazed. Truly amazed. The first comment was not ‘first’, nor ‘last’,
nor any other form comment failure. Thumbs up for not failing!
LAST! Below me gay everyone!
WIN
Some idiot tried to upgrade his dick and ended up without a dick
If u want to upgrade somethink go call at “Pimp my Dick” or if it’s broken call an “amauteur mexican surgeon” to fix it ^^
looooooooooooooooooooool
I for one am glad that they now have these warnings… ehhmmm.. out of no reason… …
oh there’s a reason. it’s called “sounds”. if you’re really curious, you can look it up. but warning it’ll make ya feel queazy.
what is read on Urban Dictionary cannot be unread.
Oh dear god i wish i could unread what i have just read. I think i may well be sick … still its sounds fun!
Well I was warned, and now I do feel sick.
Fail
YEAH BABY what a wonderful fail!
Wow who would want to try THAT
Only the idea makes me press my knees together…. I think that that is SO painful Oo
“Wow who would want to try THAT?”
Americans.
More like Japanese, have you seen their fetishes?!
Are these types of comments really necessary?
No but neither is this site.
Brown noise
Racist!
The Polish people
Poles aren’t a joke. But “What do you call a polish dancer?” is.
having the answer to your joke as your name WIN?
I love you
wtf is with you god damn racists, i admit i am racist against racists…
but hear me out, RACISTS are not part of the humen life chain so it’s k
ouuuuuuuuchhhhhhhhhhh – how stuoud can one be to need such a warning… also some kind of DARWIN WIN!
you mean a darWIN?
i pretty sure darwin was a faggot so lets just forget about him please
Wow. That comment fails on so many different levels.
For vaginal use only, obviously. Duh.
I’d have to say “Consult your doctor before use. If he’s a crazy hobo who lives in a box… use product topicially only.”
VG Cats WIN!
lol
Omy gosh why would anyone……..
Don’t ask.
Yeah, I read it twice before I saw the word “NOT”… sorta made more sense after that. But not much…
You KNOW they had to put that warning on there because someone has tried it, right? Scary….
Not just one person, likely enough people to get a lawsuit together.
Or maybe, JUST MAYBE, the “i” is a typo?
So what did they mean to day? Please do not insert precision screwdriver into penos?
who would be stupid enough to think of that???
Americans…
please have you ever even been to Europe?
Why, is America in Europe?
because ur an idiot
Russia is far more likely
And you don’t want to know how they use them in Soviet Russia
You don’t want to know how they use you in Soviet Russia
Win! thread over
correction: males
state the obvious
“Yo guys, I bet sticking this screwdriver down my penis would feel great”
try it then let me know. remember seeingh blood is not nessesarly a bad thing. spelling fail
may be it helps if you´ve got gonorrhea – still I would prefer a doctor…
In the light of recent events???
Oh my god… Well, that’s a good warning, in hospital, there are à lot of moron because of a screwdriver stuck in the penis…
Your country = FAIL
Yeah, Britain gets a lot of weird sex-related injuries. For an obvious example, sheep don’t always take kindly to the amorous advances certain folk perform. Dunno if I’d call it “fail” or anything, though.
well i talked to a nurse once and she said people come in with all sorts of things stuck up their arses pens, traffic cones, garden gnomes ect…
I love the picture they have along with the warning. You know, in case you were unsure of what that would look like.
for better results use a drill!!1
The whole idea with a penis is to do the screwing, not be literally screwed!!!
I wonder how many beers or tequila shots it took before this sounded like a good idea??????????
Sounding fail!
Obscure terminology W1N!!
I don’t see why THIS is a failure. The story which made them to put this warning on the box IS.
And how do I get the screw out of my penis?
lol
Comment Win!
Everyone knows dicks take a metric hex wrench.
wench… spelling FAIL
to remove the screw from your penis, you must engage in butt sex, then have your partner shit the screw out of you.
Thanks for telling me
Chuck Norris doesn’t need this warning, he pisses screwdrivers
its because he eats robot soldiers for breakfast and washes them down with toolboxes
I don’t piss screwdrivers. I piss bolts and nuts.
Now I am going to kill you!
He gets them in his garage that can be accessed through a revolving door, which he can slam shut.
The diagram…
’nuff said?
Haha I know, you’d think it would be enough to just say “Don’t stick this up your pee hole”.
But no they had to draw a diagram worried that someone who buys them might not be able to read English.
I was wondering when someone would comment on the diagram…
Well it’s obvious just the bigger box comes with disinfectant, that’s why you should use these.
shoving them up your arse however, is perfectly acceptable
See, now people that never thought of that will want to do it.
not first
I once punched a baby.
She knows what she did.
This scares me nearly as much as “Sounds”
Haha, that is awesome!! They even painted it! hearts!
no word about inserting it into an omerigan ass. Go ahead omerigans because you know – in capitalist omeriga an ass screwdrives you
wow, I didn’t do too well in Geography, so forgive me, but where exactly is “Omeriga”?
I believe you’ll find that Omeriga is directly across the southern border of Elbonia.
This is what I find disturbing; that someone has tried this in the past and sued. Thus, this warnings are usually reactive instead of proactive.
Tahds….
This must be caused by too many blokes desperately looking for a screw
Comment win!
Think about the person that had to DRAW that symbol….
I wonder if they were like ´Thank you God I am getting paid for this´
in soviet russia the penis is used to screw!
I know they’re better looking than your women, but sheep don’t count.
Gives new meaning to the term “screw you”.
“You know somebody wrote em a letter!” Jeff Foxworthy
Bill Engvall.Comedian crediting fail.
Here’s your sign.
lewl.
Wow, FAIL Blog gets the fail for this one. Posting something as cheap, easy, sleezy, and horribly done as this is just sad.
HUGE FAIL for FAIL Blog.
Get over yourself. Self righteous prick fail.
Well, I’d say that if something is photoshopped, it’s not funny unless it is an actual joke. When something is funny based on the ridiculousness of it actually happening, then pretending it happened–badly–is not funny. So, I give him a self-righteous prick WIN.
Can’t we all just get along!
Lets just call him a Self-righteous Prick and stop picking on the asshole.
How has nobody made the joke, “That’s not how you screw things!”
Because it is blatantly obvious and thus should not be mentionned, in fear that we may kick your arse?
Clearly this means that some idiot tried that. And the company that makes them found out about it. The question is, is the warning there to mock the idiot, or because the idiot won a lawsuit against the company for not telling him to not be an idiot?
“Sounding or urethral sounding is the medical use of probes called sounds to increase the inner diameter of the urethra and to locate obstructions in it. Sounds are also used to stretch the urethra in order to receive piercing. Urethral sounding and urethral play are also used to refer to this practice in a sexual context.”
http://distortedview.com/show/board/viewtopic.php?t=7976
(includes a full view version of this photo)
“Sounding or urethral sounding is the medical use of probes called sounds to increase the inner diameter of the urethra and to locate obstructions in it. Sounds are also used to stretch the urethra in order to receive piercing. Urethral sounding and urethral play are also used to refer to this practice in a sexual context.”
*sigh*….
…. ok, gotta do it….
“In Soviet Russia, screwdrivers screw YOU!”
…
I’m terribly sorry about this.
Must be a little heavy on the Smirnoff…
Meaning the vodka? I agree.
Wow!! Of all the orifices you can think of sticking a screw driver in, this has got to be by far the most painful one.
Don’t knock it til you’ve tried it
why not ?
Have you ever hooked up with a strange woman and two days later your dick is oozing something grose and it hurts like hell to pee and when you go to the doctor he sticks a cotton swab inside of your dick? Hurts like hell. Or if you’ve ever had a dick piercing that went through the urethral opening, when they insert the “receiving tube” into your pee hole… hurts like hell. This can not be so big of a problem for this company that they have to display this disclaimer on the front of their package. No way. I don’t buy it. Putting things donw your urethra hurts like a mother fucker. That is not an “in-hole”.
Previous experience fail.
Yay for second line being photoshopped. Funny as hell though anyway
these are real. saw myself. altho didnt try what happens if you stick it into any sort of genitals.
Hehe. “Screw.”
i like eggs
well pie is better
noooooooo eggs are where its at
oh ya ur soooooooooooooooooooooo right
I have that set! That sticker must have worn off, but I have it!
I couldn’t imagine doing that.
1 that would probably hurt
2 its too disgusting.
idiots who are stupid enough to do that deserve to suffer
from general experience putting warnings on things makes people more likely to do it as they wonder what will happpen
Given that it is photoshopped, I still find it disturbing that someone even thought of doing this at all. :/
first, next is gay!
first is next!
last.
likely a typo if not photo shopped in. I say that because I have seen, in China especially, warnings on precision screwdriver packages that read “not suitable for pens” or something like that. I guess there are people out there who need to clear the hole on the tip of their pens for some reason…I personally thing tweezers would work better as you’d want to pull something out, not jam it further in.
Epic-levels-of-pain-if-you-ignore-it win.
Note: This is not how you get screwed.
Ya know, someday I’d like to do something so insanely stupid they have to invent new warnings to put on products against it.
But oh God no, not THAT. (Not that it’d be possible as mentioned; I’m female.)
you know they wouldn’t have this warning unless somebody already did it
Yeah…wouldn’t be necessary if someone hadn’t tried it before
suggests you read the other comments before you post
“if you insert precision tools into penis, you are SCREWED!”
double entendre win, anyone?
I suppose some genius would use these as sounds…
if someone disobeyed the instructions thatd be an interesting orgasm
Woo! Bloody orgasm!
Well what else am I supposed to use it for?
nothing that sellotape cant fix
fake
I own the exact same set and it doesn’t show anything like this
In many Arab countries, inserting stuff in, then masturbating, is not uncommon. This may refer to that.
WHAt the F Uck they’d actually stick in a screwdriver in ur dick and screw ur penis out or something?
That’ll teach me…
…maybe some men get off on inserting screwdrivers into their penis?
………………………….sounds sexy to me :/
FAKE. I also own the exact same set, and it doesn’t come like that! The second sentence has been added to the picture. They also drew in the top of the penis and the slash across the circle
How do I fix this loose nut then?
I don’t know which is worse – That they added a diagram or that someone actually tried it enough to merit an additional warning printed on it….
if that sign is on there, obviously someone was stupid enough to try it XD
I think the true fail here is whatever forced them to have to add that warning in the first place.
Obviously the package was designed for the people of the Deep South.
good thing they have that warning.
:p actually, that warning is probably warranted. Given some of the stories I’ve heard from doctors… well, read the darwin awards for an example.
was someone idiotic enough to do this, then sue? oh… my… god.
Say what you want, you will never find better advice.
WIN!
Ive tried this before. no lie
It scares me that there are actully warning labels like this. No actually it scares me that the warning label is needed.
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT??????
Actually I have the same thing, but it doesnt have the same image and it doesnt say nothing like it :/
I STILL haven’t found any penis compatible screwdrivers…
seen something on h666 along these lines recently…
geekseller
Good to know.
awww, i cant have any fun anymore
SWEET JESUS
b3nd 0ver and i’ll show you pen island
If it is broken, take some Viagra.
The worst part is that they had to put that on there for a reason…. Which means somebody actually got fvcked up from trying it…
haha lol hah lol hah lol
I think someone should look into Chuck Palahniuk’s short story, Guts. Which is about three young men who have epic!fail while getting off. One of them inserts a piece of wax where this fail tells you not to, and well, it slips down into his bladder and the resulting surgery cost his college tuition. Purely hypothetical story.
According to the story it was a foreign custom his brother picked up while overseas with the military.
HOLY CRAP! Is it under the table? I knew we shouldn’t have bought it at IKEA!
pophangover reader?
carrot stories ftl
I’ve never heard of Guts, but I remember reading that story. I think he may have put it into the book Haunted. But this picture brought that to mind for me too.