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» 203 Failures in Communication

  1. Fumbe says:

    Cannibalism win!

  2. cow says:

    i smell human flesh!

  3. dolt says:

    what does the line between “human remains found” and “for recipies go to…” say it’s too small for me to read

  4. A no nimous says:

    At least it may taste good, so said Hannibal…

  5. tycobb9999 says:

    Bet it still tastes better than haggis or anything else from the UK for that matter.

    • rob chris says:

      northsea cod is nice fish

      no bodys really eaten haggis in100 years

    • Lee says:

      Oooooh because America is the epicenter of culinary revolutions. Super size. Isn’t a meal, its a portion!

      • tycobb9999 says:

        Don’t have to have a culinary revolution to beat the UK. Just edible food. But speaking of revolutions: us 1, you 0… revolution fail.

        • Lee says:

          Ha America doesn’t have one original bit of food even the hot dog isn’t
          American! and Woop, a giant hugely populated country beat a small island of the coast of Europe that just happened to have its forces spread all over the would in the biggest empire the planets ever seen!

          Shame you couldn’t follow through with Vietnam!

          • Winter says:

            America wasn’t hugely populated at the time. I barely qualified as “sparse.” Basically, they got together a couple thousand farmers with guns, taught them how to march, and sent them against the forces of, like you said, the biggest empire the world has ever seen. Through unconventional tactics and hit and run maneuvering, said ragged band of armed citizenry still managed to win.

            Shame you couldn’t follow through with holding onto that empire. Remember India? They didn’t even have to fight a war to get rid of you.

            • rob chris says:

              unconventional tactics and hit and run maneuvering, said ragged band of armed citizenry still managed to win.
              >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

              bit like 9-11
              but yous did not like that

              • Winter says:

                Well, no, not exactly. The Revolution was based on ideals of rule of law and enlightenment thought, not religious fanaticism. The Revolution was still an organized military conflict, not just a chaotic orgy of violence.

                Besides, it takes intelligence and logic to make use of guerrilla tactics. Any Idiot can smash a plane into a building and call it a victory.

                • D'oh says:

                  I wouldn’ve choosen 9/11 as an example, but Iraq, Vietnam and Afghanistan do the trick ;)

                  • b0ner says:

                    Exactly where do Iraq and Afghanistan qualify as losses when the governments that were targeted for destruction are destroyed? Paying attention to CNN too much FAIL

                    • Winter says:

                      Well that’s true, but I’m pretty sure they were referring to the civil war that resulted from our actions in Iraq and our inability to police Afghanistan effectively. However, it does prove my point about the effectiveness of hit and run tactics against a greater military force.

          • rob chris says:

            iraq, korea,?

            maybe they need to nuke before they can win

            iran will be next
            looking forward to that one

        • dolt says:

          you cheeted anyway you used the French

          • tycobb9999 says:

            That’s a handicap, not a benefit.

            • Winter says:

              France was actually pretty powerful at the time. I figure we’re even with France by now. They help us in the Revolution, and we help them by kicking the Germans back across the Rhine a few times.

              • OuijiBoardofDeath says:

                Yeah, but we’re even now, I think, so next time the Krauts invade, they’re on their own.

          • rob chris says:

            french
            pffff
            cheese eating surrender monkeys

            • Winter says:

              Well, at least they didn’t surrender in WW1. They actually put up a pretty WIN defense in that one, given how powerful the Germans were.

              WW2, not so much. Blitzkrieg + France = RAPE

              • tycobb9999 says:

                There was still a huge amount of French desertion in WW1.

              • Nuclear death says:

                Somewhere in the middle of the Arizona desert a Black B-1 Bomber, with no markings, taxis down a runway……..On board the latest in nuclear weapon technology…..In bay one…a long cylindrical “Missile-like” object awaits its mission……Written on the side in wax pencil…..”Au revoir, Frog bastards!”

            • tycobb9999 says:

              We can at least agree on that one. It’s nice to share a little xenophobia.

    • J says:

      American Fail.

      The UK has many of the world top chefs. America has Twinkies and McD’s

      • Anonymous says:

        And an obesity problem!

        And with comments like the above from tycobb9999 I’m kind of glad they’re Independent from the UK! 1 civil war and they think they can win every war! Should we remind them of Vietnam, because that was a bit of a balls up and currently in the hunt for Osama Bin Laden! America should just give up on wars as they obviously fail!

        The only casualties seem to be their own men with so called “friendly fire”. I’m glad they’re fighting besides us, if we had them behind more of our troops would die!

        • Tseran says:

          Just remind them of 1812. They hate that. Most of them don’t even realize that Canadian’s burnt down their Whitehouse and that they actually LOST that war. Strangely, their education system also doesn’t even refer to it as a war between the US and Canada. They don’t even mention that anyone lost, its kinda like the war never ended…..I wonder if that means we can go burn down the Whitehouse again. ;)

          • tycobb9999 says:

            You can go try…. And yes, of course we won! Us 2, you 0. Not only that, but you have the uncanny ability to lose major warships to 3rd rate island nations; naval fail, or should I say failboat! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!You suck!

            • PokedrawerZ says:

              Are you insulting Canada? Well, beware, for Canada will win. You guys can bomb us all you want, all you’ll ever hit is either wilderness or Toronto, and that’s not so terribly bad.

          • dolt says:

            God bless Canada

            • Nuclear death says:

              …..In bay two another awaits the fate of millions….Written on the side above a maple leaf, the words…”Oh, Canada.”

          • Winter says:

            Well, to be perfectly fair, Canada was still a British colony at the time of the war. British military forces were used, and the British navy was involved. So, basically, it was a war between the U.S. and Great Britain.

            Oh, and the war did end. 1815, Treaty of Ghent. The U.S. got what they wanted out of the war, including the prevention of impressment of U.S. sailors into the British navy.

        • tycobb9999 says:

          Well, with food like yours, NOBODY is going to be obese, that’s for sure!Just got back from the UK, and our obesity problem is NOTHING compared to your teeth problems. There aren’t 14 good teeth in the entire UK! And I have never in my life seen such an overwhelming population of singularly ugly women. I mean really, really ugly. What’s up with that? Your women are beasts!

          As for wars, I hardly think you can consider yourselves fighting “beside us”. You are a token, nothing more.

          Come back when you can assemble a more tractable argument. And when you learn how to serve food.

          America bashing fail, as usual.

          • Delphi says:

            Ugh. Ty, so argumentative and mean! This is the kind of rhetoric that gives us all a bad name! I can understand being offended by America Bashing, but why turn around and do the exact same thing to another country? If you don’t like it done to you, please don’t do it to others.

            • tycobb9999 says:

              Because their women are hideously ugly, and their teeth are disgusting.

              • Delphi says:

                Okay, okay, I’ve heard the stereotype, it’s no revelation. For the sake of argument, have you ever been to Cobb County, GA? I have. And I wouldn’t go talking about English women until you’ve seen a group of Stone Mountain Beauties (who probably share one tooth between them all, and aren’t winning any pageants, either, if you know what I mean…). I love America, but if you think about it, we’re bigger than England, so we probably have a larger population of hideous women with bad teeth.

                • raelalt says:

                  “a group of Stone Mountain Beauties (who probably share one tooth between them all”

                  And they have to take turns using it.

                • tycobb9999 says:

                  Yes, but for the sake of argument the UK is bigger than Cobb County Georgia. That’s nowhere near a fair comparison. The women in the UK are beastly. Been there? I have; trust me – they are really, really ugly.

                • the ghost of tycobb says:

                  Gotta give you a big WIN for the Cobb Co/Georgia reference though, princess. Are you hot?

          • dolt says:

            my dentist says my teeth are perfect … and theres 32 of them so i think i found 14 good teeth twice without even having to look. no good food n the UK just a reminder that america has no tradition dishes of it’s own and most of it’s food originated from Brittain and Spain so up yours

          • Lee says:

            LMFAO that teeth crap is ancient, hell yea for NHS – O yea u don’t have one of them =o
            Beast of single women? It’s not a coincidence there single for that reason!
            the hot ones are taken by lean, non fat bastards!

            HA! of course were not fight beside you! have you seen who’s doing all the “friendly fire”?
            If you couldn’t find a decent meal in England its because your a poor bustard with your week ass dollar

            $, Fail
            War, Fail
            Health system, Fail
            You, Fail.

            • tycobb9999 says:

              Write this in English so I can determine if it’s an insult or not. Typical drunken, ignorant limey.

              • Lee says:

                LMFAO limey?
                Sure mock us for not dying of scurvy, like you stupid dicks.

                • Winter says:

                  Vitamin C WIN.

                • tycobb9999 says:

                  I’m sorry, I misunderstood the term ‘limey’. I didn’t realize it was for solving problems with vitamin C deficiency; my bad!

                  I thought it was derived from the fact that british seamen like to shove limes up each others asses while enjoying hot gay sex on the high seas…

          • lawlren says:

            you’re probably part british :) .
            Oh, and I know plenty of British folk with nice teeth.
            And not all the girls are ugly. The “scene” teen aged
            girls are (some of them) actually decently attractive.
            From my (female) point of view. The test scores and
            health are better in most parts of England and they
            have healthier foods, not double lard doughnut like
            us folk in America.
            I am american. My ethnicity is german/native american.
            I am going to move to England when I get out of school
            and have a steady job. Because our economy sucks.
            And the British pound is pretty much the currency with
            the highest worth, unlike the dollar.

            Oh, and most of their accents pwn america. American
            accents suck hardcore. It’s just fluffing horrid. They
            do have some “dirty” accents in some parts, but nothing
            compared to all the accents that are from the South.

          • Anonymous says:

            Because fighting your ignorance is like beating up retards, it’s fun but after a while you feel sorry for the poor little dribbler!

            I’m sorry that you had such a bad time in England, but to be honest most people over here think you Yanks are a bunch of ignorant f**k pigs! So you struck out with our women, possibly because they have an IQ above the American average that they could sense your desperation.

            As for using the dental argument, that is so Austin Powers and so inaccurate!

            • tycobb9999 says:

              Dear GOD! Your women are the last thing on earth I wanted. I’d choose celibacy over those horrific creatures! They are the most ugly women I’ve seen on the face of the planet. And yes, your teeth are very, very bad. I was actually shocked at how accurate the stereotype really is. I wasn’t expecting anything that bad. Your mouths are like dirty, stinking, black holes.

        • Delphi says:

          and I suppose you could’ve done without us in WWII as well, right? With all the tolerance practices in the Western world these days, I’m surprised at all the generalizations and blanket statements against Americans. We may not have the best food, politicians or foreign policy, but please don’t assume we all like to wallow in our perceived superiority. That simply isn’t the case. It’s like saying all Brits have bad teeth and a grammar complex. I don’t believe that’s true just because I’ve seen some photos of dentally-challenged UK folk. There are idiots, fools, and morons in every country. Be smarter than the media.

          • Lee says:

            I suppose you don’t get taught about how you were selling arms to the Germans before joining the fight? Then when you were in Europe just shot anything the moved no matter what side it was on. Then dropped a nuke, mass murdering hundreds of thousands. After the the Germans had surrendered and everything was ending?

            • tycobb9999 says:

              We didn’t nuke the Germans you imbecile. How can anyone say so many patently ignorant things on one forum. Are you retarded? No, I’m serious, are you retarded? The japanese were nowhere NEAR surrendering, you moron.

            • Winter says:

              Brush up on the War in the Pacific, friend. Japan was nowhere near surrendering at the time of the atomic bombing. They fully intended to fight to the bitter end. If we had invaded, it was estimated that there would be over 1 million casualties. And that would just be on the US side. Japanese deaths would have been off the carts. The atomic bombing, ironically, saved lives by convincing Japan to surrender. I don’t like killing people, especially not in a way as horrible as an atomic explosion, but when you’re trading several hundred thousand deaths from several million deaths it becomes an unfortunate necessity.

            • Delphi says:

              Lee, you are my case in point. Again, be smarter than the media!

        • Winter says:

          Fail at wars? That’s funny, I seem to remember these times in 1918 and 1941 when American intervention was instrumental in winning a couple minor conflicts. Oh well. I must be imagining things.

        • Winter says:

          Fail at wars? That’s funny. I seem to remember these occasions in 1918 and 1941 when American military intervention was necessary to help some certain western European countries. Oh well. I must be imagining things. I’m going to go gorge myself on fast food and shoot guns into the air, lazy, stupid American that I am. Where’s my cowboy hat?

      • Nuclear death says:

        …….on yet another is written…..”Cheerio and all that then!….Limey nutsacks!”

        • jojojo says:

          Oh wow…I’m so glad we can stay on topic here…

          • jojojo says:

            I just wish I could find a big burly man to stay on top of me….I’m very sorry for my disrespect, God of nuclear death…I bow before you in awe of your awesome power and I praise the horror that you bring…..I ask that you take my soul in exchange for my insubordination.

      • tycobb9999 says:

        If by “many of the world top chefs”, you mean a bunch of strange looking creatures who prepare inedible gruel disguised as a meal, then yes, I guess the UK does have many of the world top chefs. But, and bear with me here, if they are ‘world top chefs’, wouldn’t their latitude place them slightly to the north of the UK? That is, unless the UK has annexed the North Pole. And indeed, if that has happened, then you can again claim that “the sun never sets on the British Empire”. At least 6 months a year…

      • Anonymous says:

        *facepalm*
        Really, this is stupid. Both FAIL, k?
        UK fails because it’s being a bitch just because the US is in a tough spot. The UK is no better than the US. Please remove your heads from your asses.
        US fails because it’s government is messed up, the US made a mistake, and it’s education fails. The US is no better than the UK. Please loose some weight.

  6. Vismund says:

    Lecter WIN!

  7. mr.Brainless says:

    First?!

  8. anonyman says:

    first!

  9. the incredible bulk says:

    as recommended by top tv chef hannibal

  10. thebigdawg says:

    mmm, tastes like chicken

  11. jamisings says:

    I can’t believe this – a woman is murdered and you all are fighting over if UK food is better then American food? Have you no heart what so ever? Yes, the news people screwed up, but what’s more screwed up is this childish fight.

    Look, UK food is no better nor no worse then American food. Actually, some of the traditional foods there, like steak & kidney pie, are a lot tastier then any American dish. But some of the UK versions of American favorites – like pizza – stink. And America tends to have more spices in their food. Finally, at least here even in our fast food restraunts you can get a salad. I never even saw salad on the menu of any of the restraunts or pubs I ate at. (Plus what happened to all the tea shops? All I found was StarYUCKs. World’s worse coffee.)

    So in the end – in some things the UK is better, in others America is – and both are full of idiots who buy StarYUCKs gross burnt tasting coffee made with cheap Arabica beans rather then the far superior Columbian beans. (Arabica – grown in the low lands, picked BEFORE it’s ripe, ripens in a warehouse. Columbian – grown in the high lands, allowed to ripen on the plant before it’s picked.)

    There, now that the stupid fight is settled how about concentrating that a poor woman has been brutally murdered?

    • goofball says:

      boring WIN

    • tycobb9999 says:

      Heart rending plea fail. How about a tasty steaming cup of STFU?

    • goofball says:

      If this girl was from Scotland, her stomach could be used for a haggis.

    • dolt says:

      i think pizza comes from Italy not america … world cuisine fail

    • Natalie says:

      From my experiences, all the salads I’ve seen or gotten from fast food places have been 90% iceberg lettuce (which has little nutritional value….it’s like eating an ice cube) with two cherry tomatoes and 2 slices of cucumber, ranging in price from $1-$6. Subway was the exception, where you can tell them to load it up with anything and everything they have (but you do pay for it). Perhaps people in the UK won’t let themselves get ripped off as easily.

      • Belladea says:

        now now now, don’t be hatin the iceburg lettuce:
        Iceberg lettuce has no nutrients
        It has plenty of good-for-you compounds
        Just because darker varieties have a few more is no reason to banish it! Iceberg also:

        Boosts bones
        Just 1 cup of shredded iceberg lettuce delivers nearly 20% of your daily dose of vitamin K, a nutrient many women don’t get enough of. When Harvard University researchers tracked the diets of more than 72,000 women, those who ate one or more servings a day of any type of lettuce (they’re all rich in the vitamin) had the lowest rates of hip fracture.

        Protects your sight
        Iceberg lettuce is a good source of vitamin A (just 1 cup supplies 15% of your daily dose), needed to keep your vision sharp.

        Inches you toward “five-a-day”
        If iceberg is your favorite lettuce, don’t hesitate to use it as the base of a tossed salad. “Any lettuce that keeps you eating salads is a great vehicle for getting more produce into your day,” says Dawn Jackson Blatner, RD, a spokesperson for the American Dietetic Association. Remember: Even the most nutrient-rich lettuce does you no good if it ends up in the trash.

        Try it: Grilled! For a unique, smoky flavor, halve or quarter a head of lettuce and grill just long enough for the telltale marks to form (about 4 to 5 minutes). Remove from heat, core, chop, and dress. For an Asian twist, toss with sesame oil, grated fresh ginger, minced garlic, and rice wine vinegar.

      • Vernunft says:

        You do have that horrible healthcare system, so nah, I think getting ripped off is something you excel at. Nice try!

        • wato says:

          As opposed to having an insurance company dictate what sort of health care you receive? I’ll take the NHS any day.

          • Winter says:

            *sigh* Our healthcare system really is in the toilet right now. I blame poor leadership and lack of civilian responsibility for said poor leadership.

    • Vernunft says:

      Of course, America has immigrants from every culture so we actually have every kind of food. FAIL

      • Anonymous says:

        America was built on immigration fool! You’re all immigrants!!

        Having done a bit of travelling in my time on this planet, I’ve tried foods from the 4 corners of the globe, I’ve had good food and bad, some which has left me regretting eating it! I’ve often found the worst food seems to be the places where tourists eat and try to hunt around for places either recommended by locals or where you see locals eating… With the exception of Mexico!

    • That guy ---> over there says:

      “Have you no heart what so ever?”
      Fox used it to make chili.

  12. Kitty McGhee says:

    Hmmm, wouldn’t this be the video editor’s fail/win?

  13. Koneko-chan says:

    Another Utah fail. woot?

  14. sorsha says:

    Human: It’s what’s for dinner.

    or

    The other OTHER white meat.

  15. walker says:

    tasty fail

  16. aaaaanon says:

    hate all you people that drag the conversation way off topic.

  17. sally says:

    This was in Utah, I was there that day, and the news story was such a big story that it took over what was supposed to be the baking segment of the news. This story was so horrible, I can’t laugh at it. It is a little too close to home for me.

    • tycobb9999 says:

      Oh dear; I feel so sorry for you. You must’ve been the lady I read about that actually tried the recipe before they put the disclaimer out.

  18. utahute! says:

    Good to see my local news on this site! XD

  19. Charlton Heston says:

    Soylent Green is made out of people!

  20. T-Dogg says:

    This reminds me of that one episode of South Park where Eric Cartman gets revenge at an 8th grade bully for making him eat his pubes by hacking up the poor kid’s parents and then feeding it to him in a chili cookoff.

  21. You've Got Fail says:

    Next on Fox News…”To Serve Man”

    (“omg…it’s a cookbook!!”)

  22. Xos says:

    Hey you guys are supposed to rate the amount of fail, not whether or not it’s “politically correct”.

  23. Dane says:

    mmmmmmmmmmm yum

  24. epicfail says:

    160th comment

  25. RogueThree says:

    A census taker once tried to quiz me. I ate his liver with some fava beans.

  26. Rae says:

    This doesn’t surprise me from Fox.

  27. shoopithdawhoopith says:

    nom nom nom nom!!! tasty! :-)

  28. Pumpkiny says:

    This is the most epic fail I’ve seen on this site so far. I laughed for what seemed like an eternity.

  29. Heather says:

    Leave it to the Mormons! LOL

  30. anonymous says:

    Typical Fox News. They will do anything to get your attention.

    • Mr.T says:

      Including giving you recipes for delicious human treats. If anyone finds a cannabalistic recipe put in a reply lol.

  31. tycobb9999 says:

    Do you really think your idiotic, repetitious comments are cute or funny? They’re not. You are an idiot. Please try to come up with something just a little witty, ok? Everybody else on this forum has clever, humorous comments, EXCEPT YOU! Go away, YOU ARE NOT FUNNY AT ALL!

  32. kekesvar says:

    that´s NEAT!!!

  33. Mr. Woodchuck says:

    f*uck your cocaine, go with meth its better

  34. Miss Amy says:

    wow. your cartoon sucked.

    actually i didn’t waste my time clicking your link. you don’t deserve it. ho
    bag.

    meow!

  35. Art Vandalay says:

    Wow, epic comment fail on multiple levels…

  36. Anomnomnomymous says:

    I’m sure your cartoons are horrible, just like your sense of humor.

  37. Mr. Woodchuck says:

    f*ck your cartoons they suck and every time i see your name there you are braggin about your f*cking CARTOONS, go to hell

    p.s. have a nice day

  38. Xos says:

    Those cartoons make Michael Jackson look straight!

  39. kannadzuki says:

    You know, maybe our coke-addicted friend isn’t funny, but I’m getting increasingly amused by people’s responses to him. So it goes when you feed the trolls, I guess.

  40. renegro says:

    ditto

  41. kekesvar says:

    all of you just fail (with possible excpetion of the comment right above, but i´m not too sure about it…)

  42. kekesvar says:

    he just win

  43. Anonymous says:

    Cocaine further emphasises the ‘black man’ stereotype.

  44. tycobb9999 says:

    Yes, and you’re just an idiot that brings absolutely nothing to the table here. Go play in the street with your little friends.

  45. Xos says:

    Your sorry comebacks aren’t very funny, either. Nor original.

  46. Ghetto says:

    Truth hurts doesn’t it.


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