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Cheezburger Network Blog
First.
Firstling fail
As a scholar of blog comment threads, you are both extremely gay.
Dr. Mooseballs
What’s wrong with being gay?
(If you are three, there will most likely be something wrong due to the stereotypic and unfortunately popularly reinforced “uncool” image of homosexuality. The qualities of many of these arguments are often best represented by the sanity of Fred Phelps and family.
you sir, are retarded.
gigantic win coming up
i think that comments that say FIRST! should be removed! THEIR POINTLESS …….WHY THE HELL WOULD ANYONE CARE IF UR FIRST????????
Their pointless what?
oh, you meant they’re pointless. SPELLING FALE!
Haha
that really wasnt very cool
I BELIEVE that would qualify as a GRAMMAR FAIL.. because he clearly SPELLED their right.
FAIL!
Yes it is a grammar fail, however using the incorrect spelling also means that the wrong word was used and is has a completely different meaning. Its as good as using the word elephant when the intended work was they’re
“when the intended work was they’re”
Of course you meant “word”, not “work”
Uhm, spelling FAIL. not Fale..
Epic Fail.
There’s this little thing called irony, you should try getting it some time.
That would be considered a grammar error, not spelling error. a spelling error would be thier or thir or ther. Simply using the word with a different meaning than that which was intended is not a spelling mistake.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Double spelling FAIL!
Dick heads.
I think that comments that say “first comments should be removed”, should be removed !
why would anyone care that youve got a horses dick up your ass?
chill out home dawg
Just think of the other two retards that chose the same thing after the first retard got his stuck.
“Oh look if I choose that one I’ll get two.”
Machine fail + 2 Dumb people fail + 1 badluck fail
Maybe not. This the shelves, labels etc look like the machine we have here and it has “Goldeneye” fitted. It can tell when it doesn’t vend properly and then spings the spiral again to try and get the item out.
This could be a similar system which tried a few times and then gave up.
Or it may be a true fail, we don’t know.
uh hhhwhat!???
It has a laser projected at the bottom to see if anything has been vended. IF it hasn’t, the program tells the spiril to go back one rotation and forward another rotation to allow the item to be fallen through. Once the item passes the laser projection, it knows that the item has been vended.
lol we had that happen at my school, we walked up and saw 2 bags stuck like that
and well, we payed 1 dollar, got the bag above it, and for 3 for 1
lol how do u know this shit? were you the retard that failed?
hahah, what are you trying to say?
IT MAKES NO SENSE
wow, lots of stupid people here
it makes perfect sense you human reject.
da purty machine goes wuur and if no goodies come out it go waa?
and then it try try again til the nomnoms come and you no lose yer monies.
ROFL @ “it go waa?”
I would tip my hat to you, if I were wearing one. Maybe I’ll just flip my skirt instead. (c:
Do it! Do it!
“This the shelves, labels etc look like the machine we have here and it has “Goldeneye” fitted.”
“it makes perfect sense you human reject”
all i’m saying is, NO IT DOESN’T
Do just a teensy bit of independent thinking – I know, it’s scary, but try it with me – and you get:
This – the shelves, labels etc – looks like the machine we have here, and it has “Goldeneye” fitted.
I added a pair of dashes, an S, and a comma for good measure. So much easier and more effective and productive than whining.
OR! Assume for a moment that the author started out with just “This looks like” and then realized that he should explain what he meant by “this” but after correcting, he forgot to delete the “this.” So let’s delete it for him:
The shelves, labels etc look like the machine we have here and it has “Goldeneye” fitted.
Two commas would help it out a bit, but they’re not strictly necessary. It makes perfect sense when you make a tiny allowance for everyone being human and getting distracted during posting from time to time.
OMFG LMFAO. you’re cool. =D
ROFL
Makes perfect sense. Granted, I had to read it twice because I wasn’t expecting an actual explanation of a system designed to prevent vending machine non-dispense issues, but with the exception of one typo and a phrase that would be more easily read were it offset with dashes in the first sentence, it makes perfect sense.
no, no, you’ve all got it wrong. see, i GET what he’s trying to say. but i am pointing out that he is saying it in a clumsy manner, because i am a DICK
dick, let me introduce you to asshole. you should get along nicely.
Ah ha… In that case, dickfail.
No, you’re a WANNABE dick. You can’t even be a dick correctly.
BOND lingo FAIL
Um…no. “Goldeneye” = name of vending machine. Not Bond reference.
Fail.
despite the bad grammar, i understood… but that’s because we have one of those machines where I work too, so my mind was prepared…
Now people are just trying to get all three at once
Greedy buggers
Try again = Get all four = win?
Indeed, a great win for the next guy with 70¢!
Shake the machine? Triple win for free!
70c?
I have to pay $2 a pack at uni!
Ha, I only pay 50c. PRICE DEPENDABILITY FAIL.
I have seen situations like this drop the first one off and leave one or more still stuck.
TILT!
NO TILT! That’s how people get crushed — they tilt the machine towards themselves, rather than push it up — AWAY from them — and let it slam down, thereby dislodging the goodies.
I don’t know how many times I’ve told a child whose food got stuck to never ever do what I was about to. Goodies have always come down, and I’ve never been crushed.
True.
They are really heavy beasts, I thought anyone with an eye and a brain would realise that tipping it like taht was a bad idea.
More people are killed annually from vending machines than from wolf attacks.
Hardly. It’s like one of those stuffed animal claw machines. Seems like a good idea until you’re out ten bucks in quarters.
I once got three 20 oz juice bottles for the price of one.
Middle school WIN back in 1997.
Double late 90’s WIN: In High School, the Dr. Pepper machine broke, and started spitting out cans left and right. I got like 5 free!
You had a Dr. Pepper machine? Did it solely sell Dr. Pepper!? DR. PEPPER WIN!
They did that a couple of months ago, I missed it but my buddy got loads and gave me a few in case they started searching to see if someone hod got any. You’d thought they’d have fixed that in a decade…
You were in middle school in 1997? I feel old.
97? I started middle school in 2001….
xxjadexx – priority fail! shouldn’t you be doing homework or something?
Math fail. If they went to middle school in 2001, they should be graduated from high school by now.
You’re assuming he’s not still in middle school.
haha, it says ‘ass’.
…maturity fail. funny win. XD
See, the trick there is to buy something heavier on a rung above the chips, so it falls onto them and dislodges the treasure into your grubby lil hands!
Wouldn’t the heavy thing crush the chips at the bottom?
3 bags of crushed chips > no chips at all
So, that’s why teh crisps are at teh top shelf…
I’ve found the heavier candy bars (like Snickers) to be very useful for this exact purpose.
FAIL for wanting Sun Chips in the first place.
AGREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
You, my friend, fail for insulting a tasty snack.
Camera white balance FAIL.
oh c’mon now it’s a camera phone
ouch, that happened to me the other week at uni, i was not impressed
why do you keep mentioning uni? did you just get in? congratulations, i GUESS
no, i’m over half way through my degree.
is there a problem mentioning my place of study?
and also because the food is so much more dodgy and expensive there.
why be so annoyingly judgemental?
isn’t there anything better to do with your time?
no, sadly there isn’t. i guess there isn’t much better to do here at ASSHOLE UNI
uni uni uni…FAIL
i’m doing something with myself.
you fail at life.
you fail at getting laid
i would rethink that.
its my job to hang with bands.
lol @ all of you.
groupie – win!
presupmtion that we care where/if you attend “uni” – FAIL!
comment WIN
Hepatitis C win!!!!!!
lol, dont be a dick fail.
man i keep trying to respond to the below comments with some SERIOUS assholery, bt my browser doesn’t seem to be wanting me to do it.
fucking internet karma or SOMETHING. i better quit while i’m ahead.
if i double-posted something, don’t worry, that’s the universe being on not my side.
wow… how about STFU or fail?
wanting something too bad-Fail …
by the way, owned by sun chips …
This pic has too be old…since when do bags of chips cost 70 cents. They are all about $1.25 or more in the vending machines i’ve seen recently!
Nah, still 70-75 cents here, $1 at most generally. Coastal bias FAIL.
They are about 70 here too.
About 80 cents here for that size bag. The larger ones can get to $1.25.
No, it’s pretty current. Sun Chips changed their bags recently. So it has to be from this year at least.
70c here (CA) too
Sucks for all you guys. 50c in Kansas.
I saw a vending machine with 50 cent stuff in it a few days ago. o, and btw, more people die from shakin a vending machine and havin it fall on top of them than people that die from sharks AND lightning.
Ya well… how many ppl ARE killed by lightning while being eaten by a shark? Im guessin not very many at all.
pwnt
That’s why I never tilt it towards me. I always push it, then keep my hands on it to prevent it coming back on me.
Duh, you push it over from behind – or use a small shaped charge to blow the lock, whatever works.
Killed by fallen vending machine you deliberately tipped over = physics education FAIL, DarWIN.
NOOOOOOOO!!! Munchies fail.
No munchies = sadness
Chips are bad for you anyway.
http://stuffwhiteparentslike.com
copying a popular blog? creativity fail.
…desperately posting links, hype FAIL.
They aren’t good for you anyway.
maybe not the best for you BUT they are far better for a person than the traditional fried chips..like Pringles
French onion chips win at not surrendering.
i think… is this comment an actual example of true irony? i haven’t seen that in a long, long time. my hat is off, sir.
I bet the Swiss cheese is out of the vending machine completely.
Commenter win.
comment win x2
I could soooo get those chips!
TIMS ftw
Buy 1 get three pass.
Stuffgirlslike
French stuff not needing protecting by the British Armed Forces = WIN (though very unusual…)
by the way, crisps cost 50p a bag across the pond from you yanks (that’s about 98 cents) Ripoff = FAIL
SAPCE RAIDERS!!
british crisp knowledge FAIL
“Double late 90’s WIN: In High School, the Dr. Pepper machine broke, and started spitting out cans left and right. I got like 5 free!”
That’s awesome! Same exact thing happened to me in high school, late 90s as well. And it was Dr. Pepper too! Weird…
Weird is right – wasn’t there an X-files episode about the exact same thing? Heeh.
We had a Coke machine in high school that had some sort of mechanical glitch. For some reason, whenever you bought Surge, it would give you fifty cents back (this was when 20 oz. bottles were $1.00). If you bought Coke or anything else, it’d cost $1.00.
Needless to say, we all consumed a lot of Surge during that school year.
It also makes me think of the pay phone at my high school (early to mid 90s) where you could put in a nickel, hit the release button, & repeat twice more and make your phone call so you’d make free calls whenever. That was cool. We had no cool vending machine stories though.
Wow!!!!!!In high school there was this soda machine that started spitting out all these cans and hitting people in the head…..Then all the machines started coming to life and the sky turned green and I was trapped in this truck stop by a bunch of 18-wheelers and AC/DC was playing all the time……..
if there’s ever a baddayblog.org, this shall be the first picture…
I am the first and I have an idea. We can change this web into a porn web.
You fail for being stupid enough to think everyone would want that.
I’d try a few more times for that.
3 times a fail, but the fourth one might get lucky…
i always seem to be the one to get the stuck bags out. the coke machine broke at the high school. everyone was getting like 6 or 7 cokes out of it.
uber fail! it happened to me once
)
arg i was pissed, thought buying 2 more would make it fall (had munchies for “unknown” reasons
buy the thing on top of that shit for the WIN!
basic physics, you never let us down!!!!
and don’t shake the machine b/c that’s how some poeple win the Darwin Awards.
how i missed old vending machines. nothing says 16 free snacks like some effort and a drum stick.
LOL 3 BAGS OF CHIPS STUCK 2GETHER LOL.
wow. why is this even a fail?
this is by far, the most boring, un-amusing fail of all.
First to yell PHOTOSHOPPED!
I was *gonna* get to have a trifecta – very belated first, ridiculous photoshop claim, and not-a-fail whining – but a.hole beat me to the not-a-fail, damn the luck…
70 cents!!?? You just don’t see that anymore! Where is this???
Probably the Midwest. I’m in Minnesota and most bags of chips cost 70 to 85 cents a bag.
I guess it pays sometimes to live in a cultural vacuum.
not a photoshop, pic from company vending machines. already tried buying the item on top, bounced right off these suckers. waste of $2… picture from May 2008. and the vending machine doesn’t have any effing laser. i mean really??? some loser is talking about vending machine lasers??? “goldeneye?!” just to clear the air… major fail! =(
1. Failure to notice the sarcasm in my self-declared “ridiculous photoshop claim.” (Did you even read past the first line?) Haven’t you noticed that EVERY thread has to have SOMEONE screaming that it’s photoshopped? This one was lacking: Now it’s not, and balance has been restored to the Failiverse.
2. Here is information about the Golden Eye and Sure Vend Delivery Guarantee System. (Dang, there’s a lot of typos on that page.)
“Golden Eye
This technology features an infrared transmissive sensor that detects if the product has dropped into the delivery bin.
If the product fails to vend on the first try, the spiral will automatically make up to [three] additional revolutions in an attempt to vend the selection. As soon as the spiral returns to the “home” position. [sic]
If, however, the selection still fails to vend after three attempts, the customer can make a new selection or receive a refund.
Sure Vend
Sure Vend product delivery sensor guarantees that selected items are delivered to the customer or their money will be returned. The system works by attempting to deliver the product up to three times. If a product is not dispensed and therefore recognised by the optical sensors after 3 attempts [at] vends, the customer is given the option of selecting another product or accepting a full refund.”
Laser, infrared sensor, tomato/tomahto.
Been hyper-linking again..eh??? Hee…Hee….Heee.
I thought that Golden Eye was a Pierce Brosnan Bond movie, or a Bond game for the N64, or a kind of duck.
I love this one. I’ve seen that happen ti the vending machine at my office. It’s considered a win if you walk up to that machine and find it like this. If you’re lucky, for seventy cents you can get three or four bags of chips at once.
those chips suck anyway.
Ha! True…
French onion Sun Chips… *barf*
lolol
this happened to me once, and then the guy shook it but accidently shook other stuff out and i got free stuff
I’d hit it
Being desperate enough and blowing enough money just to get a bag of SunChips?
ABSOLUTE FAIL.
Get a hobby, man.
ahahaha
this happened to me once
i called the company and abused them
they actually sent me a cheque for $1.50
This just happened to me two days ago! I put in the dollar and the first bag of chips got stuck. I put in another dollar (figuring that I’d give the second bag to my kid) and that one got stuck.
I considered putting in another dollar for about a minute then decided to go for it. I guy was watching and said, “You’re not going to put in *another*, are you?”
I told him that I felt like I was playing the slots in Vegas and went for it.
Yup. All three hung up.
I needed the laugh that night. We were in the ER.
This is why we don’t throw good money after bad, fail-mongers…
omg. This exact thing just happened to me on the loading level of the Rogers Centre. Three f’n bags of Combos. Total vending pwnage.
Literally 3 times out of 5 Sun Chips get stuck in the vending machine for me. They seriously need to redesign their bag.
Diet…WIN!
WIN!!!! for the next guy
lol sonofabitchin snack machines xD