… Who gives a s**t? Sorry to be so harsh, but seriously. If that’s the only comment you can think of to get on here first (when it’s not so freaking busy that being first is necessarily anything to be proud of, even), then go shut your hair in a car door ‘first’, or staple your hand to your forehead ‘first’. Because I believe we could laugh at that!
__Nothing against you, personally__, but this really needs to stop, on this site as a whole.
Try and put a little effort into your comments, firsties. Others will appreciate it, too.
And this is why, kids, we do not follow strange links on the internet. no matter how hard you try, even bleach does not remove what you’ve seen from your brain.
Your comics suck. Just saying, you’re really not funny. If you need clarifications so people can get the alleged “joke” you have failed as a comic, an artist and as a human being. You will die unloved and alone.
I’m American. Believe me, I do understand irony. “You can be trusted to keep a secret,” indeed… they forgot to add the corollary: “But your secret fortune cookie can’t.”
Absolutely love this site! I’d be pissed if I’d just consumed thousands of calories worth of sweet and sour garbage and this is the cookie they handed me. I would’ve failed the waitress.
Oh wait, the fortune is inside the wrapper but outside what appears to be a complete fortune cookie, but the relevance of “OH THE IRONY!!!1!” remains a mystery.
Surely it’s not that much of a mystery? The fortune is itself meant to be a secret inside the fortune cookie, only read by the recipient. It’s visible to all. Therein lies the irony.
Here’s a few…”You will soon experience fatherhood”…or “There is a doctor visit in your very near future” but, that will only work if you sell cheap ones.
Best one I saw, but didn’t actually get: Having lunch at a Chinese restaurant with 5, male co-workers. Big, round table. The one sitting across from me is a small, effeminate guy. He triggers most people’s “gaydar”, but he dates chicks. He’s also extremely homophobic (which makes me think he’s in a state of denial). Anyway, we finish the meal, get our cookies and start reading our fortunes in turn. I notice the face of the guy across from me has turned bright red, and he refuses to read his fortune. Eventually, one of the other guys manages to get it away from him. It reads: “Kiss the person sitting next to you”. Lame-ass fortune but, considering the person who got it and the all-male environment he was in…. couldn’t have been more perfect! Laughed so hard, my drink came out of my nose.
First?
… Who gives a s**t? Sorry to be so harsh, but seriously. If that’s the only comment you can think of to get on here first (when it’s not so freaking busy that being first is necessarily anything to be proud of, even), then go shut your hair in a car door ‘first’, or staple your hand to your forehead ‘first’. Because I believe we could laugh at that!
__Nothing against you, personally__, but this really needs to stop, on this site as a whole.
Try and put a little effort into your comments, firsties. Others will appreciate it, too.
First to reply to this guy’s a-hole comment! And to see my CARTOONS click on my name link.
i still think your cartoons suck.
i clicked, i saw, i wished i could un-see.
And this is why, kids, we do not follow strange links on the internet. no matter how hard you try, even bleach does not remove what you’ve seen from your brain.
Oh, indeed bleach removes what you’ve seen …
step 1 – Apply bleach to brain
step 2 – Pain
step 3 – enjoy emptiness
why CARTOONS not just cartoons. then i looked and realised that they were FAIL.
FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Seriously, your cartoons suck, and you fail.
my name speaks for itself.
Your comics suck. Just saying, you’re really not funny. If you need clarifications so people can get the alleged “joke” you have failed as a comic, an artist and as a human being. You will die unloved and alone.
Dude. Seriously? Calm the weeping Jebus down. It’s not like he had buttsecks with your sister.
..as far as we know.
I call first on that one
Agreed. If “first” is the best you can do, you have failed.
dude, quit talking to yourself, we can all see that your picture says youre the same guy.
I think TheLarrikin is a little upset, as he didn’t post first!
oh damn ur so harsh. using **’s and all…
but ya i agree
the Larrikin is just angry that he wasn’t first
Everything against him personally
why would he want to shut his hair in a car door? Why would you WANT him too? he’d just pull it back out.
Yes, let the butthurt flow.
I agree with thelarkin. if you don’t have something useful to say, STFU.
at any rate. this picture is retarded and just thought you all should know that.
that was not a useful thing to say.
so stfu.
1st
First fail!
YUMMMMM…. Fortune Cookies!!
Third? Fail.
YUMMMM… Fortune Cookies!!
http://englishfail.wordpress.com
Additional late First
this one is stupid…. not funny
Do you not get irony? Someone told me that Americans don’t know what irony and sarcasm are, but I’d assumed it was as joke.
I’m American. Believe me, I do understand irony. “You can be trusted to keep a secret,” indeed… they forgot to add the corollary: “But your secret fortune cookie can’t.”
That’s why it doesn’t make sense… the fortune is not for the cookie, it’s for the consumer of the cookie… so… yeah, it’s a stretch, at least.
Absolutely love this site! I’d be pissed if I’d just consumed thousands of calories worth of sweet and sour garbage and this is the cookie they handed me. I would’ve failed the waitress.
I dont get it.
Oh wait, the fortune is inside the wrapper but outside what appears to be a complete fortune cookie, but the relevance of “OH THE IRONY!!!1!” remains a mystery.
Surely it’s not that much of a mystery? The fortune is itself meant to be a secret inside the fortune cookie, only read by the recipient. It’s visible to all. Therein lies the irony.
I agree, and put it to you that this Stu fellow is not a doctor at all but a FAIL.
Ohhh! I get it now…
Comprehension fail…
Perhaps this is some sort of secret code the restaurant owner uses to communicate with the triads that come to eat in his restaurant.
FAIL LOL!!!!
The wrapper is open. Someone stuck this fortune which came from a different cookie into this wrapper with another cookie. That person fails at life.
It’s not open. The fortune is sealed into the wrapper. Look again.
For looking for fakeness instead of funny you FAIL
uh.. no the wrapper is open. I say you FAIL
lol chinese fail!
That is so not sealed into the wrapper. you fail at life.
DIAF
DIAF
DIAF
DIAF
DIAF
DIAF
DIAF
DIAF
Failure troll is a failure.
“Rookie,rookie….Bad cookie!!!! Cookie do bad job!!! Me no trust cookie no more!!!”
at first sight it looked like a condom to me so i thought “wtf, they sell fortune condoms now?”
vision fail.
mmmm … I did too. Maybe we have a viable business idea here. Fortune condoms. Yes.
Here’s a few…”You will soon experience fatherhood”…or “There is a doctor visit in your very near future” but, that will only work if you sell cheap ones.
“you shall undertake and complete many tasks” was the best fortune i got…
add “in bed” to the end of that
adding “except in bed” is usually funnier than adding “in bed”
Best one I saw, but didn’t actually get: Having lunch at a Chinese restaurant with 5, male co-workers. Big, round table. The one sitting across from me is a small, effeminate guy. He triggers most people’s “gaydar”, but he dates chicks. He’s also extremely homophobic (which makes me think he’s in a state of denial). Anyway, we finish the meal, get our cookies and start reading our fortunes in turn. I notice the face of the guy across from me has turned bright red, and he refuses to read his fortune. Eventually, one of the other guys manages to get it away from him. It reads: “Kiss the person sitting next to you”. Lame-ass fortune but, considering the person who got it and the all-male environment he was in…. couldn’t have been more perfect! Laughed so hard, my drink came out of my nose.
thats ab epic FAIL I love it xD
There’s only 2 kinds of secrets: those that are too good to keep, and those that aren’t fit to tell.
Fortune cookies go state too quickly.
Really? Think they might be taking steroids?
I’m the only person posting here who is not a FAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No, you are too.
ummm i dont get this one.
:/
its already open FFS , post something funny
Why aren’t my comments showing up?!
stings like a fail in the morning!